I don't own any characters, they are J.K. Rowlings.
Authors Note: Klep-o encouraged me to write an Anti-Mary Sue story. Hopefully, you'll all get the point that no one, besides maybe some people with bad taste (they're out there), likes a Mary Sue.
* evil smile * enjoy if you can. Read and Review. I welcome flames.
The Mary Sue
Patrol
By Black_Iris
Once upon a time, in a far away land, there lived a happy boy named Remus. Remus was kind and gentle, like most happy boys. Until one day his father, whom he loved, remarried a cruel witch named Mary Sue. Mary Sue was very jealous of Remus because he wasn't stupid and didn't admire her like the rest of the fan fiction authors. Mary Sue decided to do something about it.
"Remus, my child," said the very cunning Mary Sue, "do you think I'm pretty?"
Remus rolled his eyes. "Go away. God, you're annoying."
Mary Sue was less than thrilled. "Remus, my child, why do you not like me? Why?"
Remus, growing tired of Mary Sue very quickly, went to the telephone and called his Fairy Godmother. "I'll be right over." Said the voice on the other line.
Soon, a big white van came over with the words "Mary Sue Patrol". Mary glanced out the window, waiting with a tray of cookies to greet whoever may walk through the door. There was a ring of the doorbell. Mary Sue smiled excitedly waving her curly blonde hair. I love visitors! Thought Mary Sue. Little did she know these were the last visitors she'll ever have…
A man who strangely looked like Sirius came in with a cattle prod. Oh geebies! He's a handsome fellow! Thought the foolish Mary Sue. I must go and flirt with him like the mindless character I am!
"Hey there handsome Devil. What's your name?" Mary Sue said with the twinkle in her large blue eyes.
"Save it, Mary Sue, you're going to hell!"
Poor Mary Sue. She ran out of the house for dear life, but nothing could save her now, Sirius tackled her thin body and threw her in a cage in back of the van.
"That'll be 50 bucks. I don't deal with these people for free, you know." Remus happily paid the man. All was well in the Lupin household, once again.
And what happened to Mary Sue, you may ask? Well, not even the Mary Sue asylum could cure her so she was released. Later in life, she turned into a popstar, and is known as Brittany Spears.
A/N: Flame me if you want, I still hate Brittany Spears.