Angel Fallen
A Final Fantasy VII Side Story
By Chadwick V. Simmons
Part IV
The chill northern winds sang forlorn and melancholy through the dale below, echoing the empty ache in Cloud's heart. He gazed solemnly at the tree-lined valley, unshed tears near to overflowing his brilliant blue eyes. His mouth crinkled into a tight line as, chin shaking, he pushed the empty feeling deeper into his convoluted psyche, swallowed his tears as he'd done a thousand times before, as he'd do a thousand times more. Cloud hadn't cried once in his life. It simply wasn't his way to be so open.
With a sad sigh he lifted his head, turned his eyes to the horizon, a horizon slowly turning pink with the sun's descent. Soon the stars would be out, beautiful pinpricks of light on a canvas of pitch. With sudden irony Cloud thought, those stars are much like the hopes and dreams shared by all the people of the world, slowly being swallowed by the darkness of inevitability that surrounds us all. Cloud let slip at bitter little laugh at the hopelessness of it all.
Just then the wind picked up, a chill gust of arctic air off the Great Glacier that penetrated Cloud's meager clothing with fingers of icy death. He shivered violently, wrapping a borrowed cloak tighter around his bare shoulders. In a vain attempt to ignore the freezing cold he turned his attention to the sounds of an excavation crew at work in the distance. The thump of pick axes on rock soon lulled him into a deeper depression.
Kaboom!!!
The blast shook the ground below Cloud's feet, but he managed to hold on to his footing. Soon enough the rumble receded into distant memory, just like a dozen other such blasts he'd witnessed since his recent arrival here. Apparently not everyone shared Cloud's lack of concern though.
"Son of a flea infested bitch hound's hairy ass!" A thoroughly annoyed voice came to Cloud's ears, carried by the chill evening breeze. "Those goddamned archeologists don't have nothing better to do than blow shit up and play in the dirt and chocobo shit all day! They could at least shout a fucking warning before they go detonating a goddamn warhead!"
Cloud was forced to chuckle despite his gloomy mood. He glanced back over his shoulder to see a cloud of dust settling over Bone Village, and an irate Cid staggering toward him covered in dust, still spitting profanities.
"I thought you had bat ears, Cid. You should have heard the fuse burning down and had plenty of time to outrun the blast," Cloud mocked, entertained as always by the offbeat antics of his cohort.
"Wrong again shit for brains! If anyone has bat ears it's Vincent, not me! Besides, I'm too goddamn old to outrun a nuke like that!" More cursing ensued as Cid beat the rock dust out of his clothes.
"Yeah you must be getting old. You can't seem to tell the difference between a nuke and that fly fart that just blew you over on your baggy old ass." Cloud managed to mouth his little joke in a perfectly serious tone of voice, which only served to piss Cid off even more.
"Spiky headed little punk motherfucker," he muttered under his voice. "Little cock sucker oughta show a little more respect to his betters!"
Cloud smirked as the wind carried the words faintly to his ears. "It'll be dark soon. I should be going now," he said on a more serious note.
Cid looked up at his compatriot, worry evident in his eyes though he tried his best to hide it. "You sure you don't want me to come along?"
"Do you have a reason to come along?"
Cid spit rock dust before cramming a crumpled cigarette into his mouth. He struck a match on the bangle he wore, shielding its flame from the gusting wind. Soon enough he was puffing contentedly. "Nope guess not. I suppose you can take care of yourself seeing the way you tote that damn big ass sword around. But if you get in trouble don't you come crawling back wanting good old Cid to change your diaper and wipe the shit off your ass!"
Could barked mocking laughter. "I wouldn't let you change my diaper anyway old man. Your hands are too rough and I'd be afraid you'd try and do more than wipe the shit off my ass!"
"Bah! Go suck your own cock you little punk! I sure as hell wouldn't touch the shriveled up little thing! You'd think a guy that swings a sword like that one would have more in his pants to brag about," Cid spit back. "Maybe when we get back to Nibelheim I'll give Tifa a hand changing her diaper though! There's a job I wouldn't mind doing!"
Cloud's mouth tightened into a thin line and his brow suddenly furrowed. "Yeah whatever," he retorted vehemently. After that he fell into a sullen silence, no further rebukes forthcoming.
Cid, realizing he'd pushed Cloud a bit too far, which was exactly what he'd been trying to do, turned and started back to the village. "Well then, I'll be seeing you in the morning."
"Cid," Cloud called out.
Cid stopped abruptly and turned back to face him. "Yeah? What is it?"
"Be ready to head out early tomorrow. My business here will be finished soon and I'm in a hurry to continue our journey."
"Mind telling me where we're off to next," Cid questioned, fearing the response he was certain would be forthcoming.
"First stop is the Icicle Inn. From there we're gonna snowboard down into the glacier," Cloud replied.
Cid shook his head and sighed. "I thought as much. And from there we head into the goddamn crater, or what's left of it. Right?"
"That's right. That a problem?"
"Pfft! Is it a problem! Of course it's a fucking problem! I was damn glad to get out of that place with my ass in one piece last time. It even cost me the best damn vessel I've ever flown!" Cid threw down his half-smoked cigarette and ground it beneath his boot heel. "I know you're dead set on going back to the godforsaken shit hole. I just want to know why. Sephiroth is dead. We made damn sure of that. What the hell are you going back for?"
Cloud ran his fingers across the beaded ridges of fresh scar tissue covering his forearms. Those scars were reminders of his last battle with Sephiroth. They tingled now, giving Cloud the impression that a creeping death was stalking him. "I'm going back for the Masamune."
"What!" Cid declared. "Why the fuck are you going back for that cursed thing? Exactly what are you trying to pull you spiky headed little prick?"
"Sephiroth may be dead, but his sword is still whole. It's there in the crater somewhere, unbroken. And it's waiting for something. Don't ask me how, but I can feel its presence, its evil aura. There is something more to that sword than we suspected, Cid." Cloud cast his eyes to the earth below his feet. "I won't just let it lie there for anyone to stumble across."
"Ah, shit!" Cid spit disgustedly. "Who the hell is just going to go strolling around in the fucking crater and stumble across it? Maybe the best place for it is buried under a few million tons of rubble in a place no one's likely to look for it anyway!"
"I'm not going to take that chance, Cid."
"Yeah I know you're not. Once you've got your mind set on something there's no talking you out of it. Hard headed little shit!" Cid turned and resumed his walk back to the village. "I'll be ready to leave early in the morning. I'd like to get this shit over as soon as possible."
As Cid disappeared into the shadows of the twilit evening Cloud silently mouthed the words, "Me too my friend, me too."
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Later that night, Cloud stood staring out across the placid waters of a small lake deep inside the City of Ancients. He'd been there for nearly an hour already. The place was oddly still, holding an aura of ancient magic and immortal mysteries.
With a sigh he blinked away unshed tears. "I'm sorry Aeris. I'm sorry I let you die. I could have saved you, but I was just too damn weak. Your blood is on my hands as much as Sephiroth's. I won't ask for your forgiveness. I'm not worthy of it. I've failed at all I've set out to do."
"I'm sorry I couldn't be the person you wanted me to be. I was never kind and generous. I never did anything for the good of others. It was always me I thought of first. Even saving the planet from Meteor was done in my own self-interest. I didn't care if I died. I didn't care if the whole world died. I just cared that Sephiroth had killed you when I could have saved you. I went after him because by defeating him I felt that perhaps I could atone for some of my failings. Saving the world was just sort of a side effect of my quest for vengeance I guess."
Cloud made to say more, but suddenly found he was at a loss for words. With a sad little laugh he dropped his eyes to the shore before his feet. "I suppose there's really nothing more to say is there? I'll not make any excuses for what I've done, and none for what I've failed to do. Farewell Aeris. May your soul find peace."
Even now he couldn't bring himself to utter the words her truly longed to, the words buried deep within his heart. Slowly he began to turn and walk away.
Just then his eyes caught sight of something unusual. He turned his attention back to the lakeshore and crouched down to closer inspect it. Now he could see clearly the lines in the sand, the scuff marks on the rocks. Gazing around he notice that what little plant life grew at the lake's edge was also in disarray. Someone or something had definitely been here recently. It looked as though whatever it was had clawed its way awkwardly out of the lake.
Cloud's breath suddenly caught in his throat. He peered intently into the depths of the crystal clear water, but it was too dark to make out anything. "Stop it you fool. She's dead. You know she is. You're the one that let her die, and you're the one that let her body slip beneath the waters of this very lake."
What then, he was forced to wonder. Had a scavenger of some sort gone in and drudged up her body? Cloud shuddered at that thought. He quickly calmed though, realizing there would likely be some evidence of that scattered around the shore.
The white materia perhaps? Had someone gone in after it? He just didn't know. The only way to find out for sure would be to dive in and have a look. Again he shuddered at the thought. To dive into the water would likely be suicidal in these frigid temperatures. He also silently admitted that he didn't want to come across Aeris's body at the bottom of the lake, to have to look upon her face again, especially in the condition she was likely in by now.
Cloud jumped to his feet and turned away from the lake. He quickly made his way toward the city's exit, unable to push the images of Aeris's cold dead eyes from his mind, and longing for the warmth of the morning sun. The mystery of the lake would be someone else's to solve. It was a task he couldn't bear to undertake.