Games We Play Four
By Chash
Now is the time when the main character dreams. I've never had the dreams that always show up in RPGs, about my past or anything. I generally dream about regular stuff, guys (well, that's not exactly regular, but close enough), weird stuff, going to school naked, all those things. My dreams aren't those cohesive things RPG characters have which involve their traveling companions and future plot elements.
And the strangest thing is that even though I plan to be in an RPG tomorrow, I still didn't have those dreams. I dreamed of being in a car with Henry, only there was no driver. The car drove anyway, though, that confused me. Henry told me not to worry, it was just a dream. No need to worry about a car in a dream.
Maybe it means I'm crazy to try to go off into a computer game. None the less, I'm going. Why should I listen to my dreams? Of course, right now, I seem to be listening to everything else, so my dreams probably feel left out, but I have to go. I need to go. I want to see them. I want to meet Trowa.
'DO NOT TURN OFF THE PLAYSTATION!!' I write the note and tape it to the TV. I doubt anyone will try, but I don't want to think about what could happen if it gets turned off while we're in there. In fact, I don't want to think about anything about what might happen while we're in there. If one of us is injured, dies… if Quatre dies… who knows what might happen to us?
'DO NOT ENTER!' That one goes on the door to my room in the hope that no one will get to whether or not to turn off my Playstation and will instead just stay out. Next order of business is my backpack. What do I want to take when going into an alternate universe?
I have no idea where I'll come out or how I'll find them, so I bring some paint, white rocks, a compass and some food for whatever journeys or mazes I might face. Some sting, since one can never have enough string, paper because it's useful stuff, duct tape, everyone needs duct tape, what else? I pack a picture of the family, I don't know when I'll see them again. Flashlight! That'll be useful. Some walkie talkies, Mr. Camel, my old stuffed toy. Never leave home without some comfort. Some clothes too, my back pack's getting full. Not very heavy, though. I scan the room once more, looking for anything else I might need. Just in case, I put in the game's instruction manual and case into my back pack. As an after thought, I grab my winter clothes and stuff them in. It was snowing before.
"Quatre?" I'm opening the door when mom comes in.
"Oh, uh, hi mom."
"Where are you going?"
"Out. I'll be back later."
"All right," she looks sad. We don't talk much anymore. I am filled with a sudden and complete sadness and feel tears in my eyes. What if I never see her again…?
I run over and embrace her.
"I love you, Mom. Please don't worry about me. I'll be home soon."
She hugs me back, and I am confident she somehow knows something important is going to happen. "I love you too, Quatre. Wherever you're going, I know it must be important. We'll miss you."
"I'll miss you too," I don't want to, but I pull out of the embrace and go outside, waving goodbye to my mother. Must be a mom thing, that insight. I'm thankful for it. The police station is a short walk from our house, and I head off, wiping the tears from my eyes as I go. I will be back. I will.
The doors are there, staring out at me, inviting me in. Even drawing me too them. I think if I had just walked by, I would have been drawn to those doors, even if I had known nothing of Trowa and the game. People walk in and out casually, why should I be any different? Pulling my back pack up on my shoulder, I open the door with confidence I don't feel and stride in.
It looks like a video game. I know this place. The save point I used before. Quatre isn't here. Unless I'm Quatre… no, I still have my back pack, all my stuff. My clothes are different though, what he wore. I reach to my head and smile. My Cat in the Hat hat is still there, in all it's red and white glory. Now, how do I find Trowa and the others…?
I take a minute to get my bearings. I'm facing the cells, I came to this from the right. Yeah, because the game view was from the wall with the cells, and I came from the left like that. Okay… now Quatre ran off to my left, right in game terms, and the others ran the other direction, I had to force Quatre this way. Our Gundams were outside, and I don't know what's the fastest way to get out. I'll follow them…
I pull out my paint, just my modeling paints for Warhammer, nothing special, and put a Q on the door in front of the save point in white. It's small, this is modeling paint, and probably no one who isn't looking for it will see it. It'll give me a starting point, though. I run off through the strange looking halls.
It is a very strange feeling to be running through a video game. I haven't tried speaking yet, silence is important, but I half expect to see a blue word bubble which announces my feelings preceded by my name. Does it even know my name?
Thank god I'm in shape. It's really quite unrealistic to assume any real person could run around as much as the game characters do. They run everywhere. Of course, the game would be horrible slow if they didn't, but still, in the game it's something that occurs to me. I hope I didn't tire anyone out making them run every where. The thought hadn't crossed my mind. In reality, though, it occurs to me that I hadn't run much at all once I'd found out they were real, so they can't really blame me if I did tire them out. I still feel bad, though.
Exit? Is that an exit? I haven't been checking all the doors because the items don't seem as important when I'm living it. I've had a few random encounters, I just ran, they didn't catch me. They tried. One of them nearly caught me, I hit him in the stomach with my back pack and then ran faster when he was stunned.
I think it is an exit. It's the only real option in any case. What if there's a final battle when I come out of here? I won't be able to stun a big boss with my back pack. Well, maybe I will. I might not be given the option. I haven't got a choice, in any case. I have to get out there some time. I came all the way here, I won't be stopped by some lousy door.
The first thing I notice is the large, ill tempered big boss. The second thing I notice is the other pilots fighting it. The third thing I notice is that they're speaking.
"Dammit! Do we have any potions, Heero? My side hurts like hell!" it's a happy voice, and it sounds just as Duo's should. It sounds familiar.
"No, sorry, koi," Heero replies, sounding actually affected by this. Although I've never heard his voice, the emotion in it is surprising.
"That dishonorable cur took it all with him when he left," Wufei adds, slicing at the ill tempered big boss with his sword.
"Aa," it's so little, but God, it's so beautiful. It is his voice, flat and emotionless, but it is Trowa's voice. I want to cry out, but I want to heal them first. I'm the white mage, I should be able to hear.
"Cure All!" I cry. Even though I have no control over the cry, it just came out, I feel embarrassed by it a second later. Then, when light emerges from my fingers and heals them all, I don't feel so stupid. In fact, I'm rather proud of myself. I just used Cure All.
"Quatre!" all of them call it together.
"Are you a good Quatre, or a bad Quatre?" asks Duo.
"Bad Quatre," I reply sarcastically, "that's why I just healed you all."
"Hey, Quat! Wanna give us a hand?" Duo fires a couple of shots into the monster, which slashes at him. He jumps nimbly out of it's way and lands next to me.
"Nice hat."
"Thanks. I'd love to help, but I haven't got a weapon other than my back pack."
"Here, I gotta spare gun. Join in!" Duo grins. I can't help but smile back.
Duo prods the body, just fallen, with his foot.
"He wasn't so tough."
Not at all, aside from the green slime and blood that covers all of us. I smile.
"A wuss boy."
"How did you get here?" Trowa speaks finally, and I bring myself to look at him blushing. He's staring at me with such love in his eyes… I can't help but run over and embrace him. I feel him stiffen in shock for a fleeting moment, but he relaxes into it and returns the embrace. I hadn't realized it, but he's a good deal taller than me.
"There was a portal, someone vandalized the police station doors with the save point design and wrote some clues above it. So I came.
"Save point?" asked Wufei.
There's one in the corner and I point to it. "Those things."
"Quatre, there's nothing there," Duo says.
"Wait, if only I can see them…" I trail off, realization hitting me. "Then only I can get out with them."
We share an awkward silence, and I can feel the dot dot dots above our heads. I look up to see if anything's there, but empty space is all that greets me.
"Go," Trowa breaks the silence. I turn to face him, stunned. "I don't want you in danger."
I smile. "I don't want you in danger either, but it can't be helped. I won't leave you behind. We're all making it out of this game."
"How?" asks Duo, smiling. "I agree with Q here, but we're gonna need an action plan or something."
Trowa makes an annoyed noise, and everyone promptly ignores his objections.
"Continue with the mission," Heero states. "There is no other course."
"We're down a pilot, though," Wufei comments.
"No we aren't," Duo grins. "We've got Quat!"
"We have the fourth pilot for the first time," Trowa adds, putting his arm around me, safe and warm. I relax into the hold.
"Sweet," comes a sarcastic voice. We all spin and behind us is Quatre, smiling as if nauseated. "I told you, Quat," he stresses the nickname, "if I can't have him, neither can you."
Trowa's grip around my shoulder tightens. "He already has me."
"Now, yes. But I can see them too, Quatre."
"What?" I ask, suspicious.
"The save points. I think you'd rather come with me than have me running around your world, looking just like you," he smirks. "Unless you'd like me to go there right now. You can stay here with our beloved Trowa, and I'll take your world. Although," he gives me another one of those looks, "I think once I get there, I'd better turn off the Playstation. It's a waste of electricity, isn't it?"
He makes as if to move for the save point, and then gives a significant look to Trowa and I. Swallowing hard, I step forward out of Trowa's grip.
"What do you want?"
"Oh, a lot of things really… Trowa, for one. And I want my rightful place," he gives me a cold look, all mocking laughter gone from his eyes. I think he might be schizophrenic or something. Very rapid mood swings, at least.
"Your rightful place?" I ask.
"Yes. My rightful place as hero of this game. You see, this is not your world. Your world is out there, past the save point. This is my world. These are my friends you stole, my love. Just waltz in here and think that you can be the hero, all of you think I don't know what's going on. I do. I know that this is no where he belongs. This is where I belong."
"You're some friend," Wufei speaks up. "We offered apologies, we didn't know you had the same mission as us. Yes, we made an assumption. But that you cannot accept an apology for a genuine mistake and instead threaten our friend is unacceptable," he scowls. "There is no justice in you."
"I should have been your friend!"
"You could have been our friend," I say rationally. "We tried to apologize, but you didn't accept it. Instead you declared yourself our enemy."
"Our," he spits out. "You have no right to say our. They are not yours, you are not theirs, they are mine by right. Trowa is mine by right."
"How could I have ever thought you were like me?" I ask, hatred burning in my eyes for him. He smirks that sarcastic little smirk again.
"I am like you. I am you. You may deny it, but you would do the same thing in my place. We always were spoiled little boys. Used to getting what we want. And Allah help whoever stands in the way of what we want, right, Quatre?"
Duo raises his hand. "Is this a speech that can only end in 'Quatre, I am your father'?"
"Baka," Heero comments with fondness in his cold voice. "This is serious."
"Way too serious," the braided boy yawns. "If you two are the same like Quatre over there says, then why are you having these problems. Can't you accept that you would both act the same in the other's situation and be friends?"
"Oh, I know we're one. That's not what makes me mad, though. I should be where he is. I am him."
"No you aren't," Trowa says in his quiet tone. "You two are not the same. Yes, you're similar in looks, action, but I've seen you both. And, no offence meant to you," he nods to the other Quatre, "but I don't love you. I didn't even before you got mad, even though I was supposed to," he turns to me and smiles. "I love you. Which seems to be a pretty good indication that you are not the same."
The other Quatre looks homicidal. Judging from his previous actions, he might be homicidal. Then he changes. Instead of drawing us into battle, he just stands, calm and composed, and walks to the save point.
"Have fun, Quatre," he says quietly. I am almost convinced he's beaten, but then that smirk creeps in. "I know I will."
I leap, but he's already gone and I crash down on the hard ground.