A Caroline in the City/Northern Exposure Crossover
by Ann Fox and Sarah Stella
1998
Winner of 1998 CitC fanfic mailing list contest: "Best Crossover fanfic"
********
Part Seven
********
The roar of the small plane's propellers was so loud and jarring that Caroline felt like her jaw was coming unhinged. Maggie shouted things back to her passengers every few minutes that neither Richard nor Caroline could make out. Ed, however, seemed to catch every word. He nodded periodically and once even broke out into peals of laughter.
Caroline was weary and sore by the time the small prop plane bumped a landing and glided to a stop. Maggie, her eyes alight with excitement, jumped out of the cockpit. Richard, Caroline and Ed followed her, but more slowly.
"Fleischman's gonna be thrilled. He hasn't got his monthly New York fix yet and he's even more crabby than usual." Maggie smiled and tossed the two artists their luggage.
"Fleischman?" Caroline asked, a little winded; her duffel had hit her squarely in the stomach.
"Dr. Joel Fleischman. He's Cicely's G.P., a native New Yorker and a general pain in the butt." Maggie's words were harsh, but Caroline thought she caught a hint of softening around the edges when she spoke.
"Sounds lovely," Richard said dryly. He hadn't spoken at all on the flight to Cicely and he looked even more wretched than he had when he'd shown up for work that morning. The circles under his eyes had deepened until they were almost black.
"We can call our ride from the office," Maggie told them, ignoring Richard's gloomy tone with the practiced ease of one who deals with biting sarcasm on a daily basis. "I lent my car to Chris while I was gone," she explained in a general way, "his Harley's in the shop but he said we could call him and he'd come and pick us up."
The group set off across the grassy airfield towards the office. They hadn't gone ten steps when a battered pickup truck came careening off the road and stopped in front of them with a muddy spray.
"Fleischman!" Maggie's voice was filled with indignation. "What did I tell you about driving this hunk of junk on my airfield? You're ruining the grass."
"Can you just chill out for a minute, O'Connell?" a combative voice called from inside the cab. Moments later, the door opened and a shortish man with well-cut features and curly black hair jumped down. He ran up to Richard and Caroline with an open zealousness that was a little terrifying but he stopped short of throwing himself at their feet. Instead, he pumped their hands.
"Joel Fleischman. Boy, am I glad to see you."
"Glad to meet you too." Caroline shot Richard an amused look but, finding him unreceptive, she directed it at Maggie who returned it. "I'm Caroline Duffy."
"Richard Karinsky, charmed." Richard's tone indicated that his true meaning was precisely the opposite of what he'd said.
Joel raised one eyebrow a fraction of an inch. His meaning was perfectly clear--'Well, someone's been reading 'How to Make Friends and Influence People.'--Caroline noted this and stifled a giggle behind her hand. Joel beamed at her which only seemed to make Richard gloomier.
"Look, I want us to get along. I'll take you to lunch at The Brick, my treat of course." Maggie cleared her throat rather loudly. "You're welcome to come too O'Connell."
"I don't know if we have time for lunch," Caroline fretted, casting a look at Ed. "We're sort of here for a reason."
Ed waved a hand in front of his face, dismissing Caroline's concerns. "I need some time to prepare."
"So, Fleischman, are you gonna offer us a ride, or what?" Maggie cut in; she seemed to like the attention he paid her, even if it was negative. It rather reminded Caroline of middle school when little boys and girls who liked each other treated each other like dirt. She also seemed strangely on the defensive, for what Caroline had no idea. Could it be because Joel is paying attention to me? she thought guiltily. It was utterly stupid, but then sometimes you didn't act the best around those you...loved? Caroline didn't know where she'd come up with the notion that Maggie was in love with Joel but it seemed to fit somehow.
"Your chariot awaits," Joel said a touch sarcastically. With a grand, sweeping gesture he pointed to the cab. "It'll be a little squished," he said, his playful tone abandoned for one that was more apologetic. Richard and Caroline tossed their bags into the back and then climbed into the cab to sit beside Maggie and Ed.
"I don't...oof...think this truck was built for this," Caroline observed as she shifted Ed's elbow out of one side of her stomach and Richard's out of the other.
Joel flashed her another repentant smile as he started the truck, which ran remarkably well, given its appearance. They rode in silence for a while until Joel reached past Richard's knees and flicked on the radio. A man was speaking. His voice was soft and smooth with the barest hint of raspy undertones.
"Golding himself aside for a moment, people, his themes abound in more modern forms like 'The Eight'. Beyond the actual writing, an important lesson that we can take from the two works is that of the macrocosm. Taking something small and blowing it up so all us regular Joes can see it. And on that note, I'm gonna play you something by the extremely talented Count Basie and his orchestra. I've always thought it was a macrocosm of something and if I could figure out what that something was, maybe I'd be a happier person. Then again, maybe not."
Caroline heard the crackling hiss of a record followed by the familiar upbeat strains of 'Jumpin' at the Woodside.'
Meanwhile, the truck sped over the asphalt. It nimbly mounted a large hill and when they reached the crest, Caroline and Richard caught their first glimpse of the town of Cicely. Caroline snuck a glance at her assistant. For the first time in a while, Richard's expression actually seemed happier.
Caroline quickly changed her mind as Richard began to squirm in his seat. Obviously, his expression was no display of contentedness, but actually closer to a grimace of irritation. He reached his right arm behind his back and began reaching around as if something was poking him. He managed to bang his shoulder into the window and knock Caroline square in the nose as he wriggled violently.
"Uh!" they cried simultaneously.
"Sorryyyy," replied Richard annoyedly as he continued to dig behind him, more concerned at that point with extracting the protruding object than with Caroline's well-being. Maggie and Ed both offered her words of comfort as Joel attempted to both observe the situation in the truck and watch the road in front of him. Finally, after several more moments of writhing, Richard pulled loose a small pair of blunt scissors--silvery metal blades with gray plastic handles. Richard stared at them with a mixture of confusion and uneasiness. "Who left the kindergarten scissors on the seat?" grumbled Richard.
Joel took his eyes off the road for a moment to look at the scissors. "Not mine," he claimed. "O'Connell?" Maggie shook her head.
"Why would I leave scissors in your truck, Fleischman? What would I possibly have been doing that I would have needed both a pair of kiddy scissors and this rustbucket of a truck?"
Joel rolled his eyes and rested his head on his fist, concentrating on driving rather than Maggie, who obviously had been put on this Earth for the sole purpose of annoying him. Ed reached over and held his hand out to Richard. Taking the scissors from Richard, he held them close to his face. "They're engraved," he observed as he tilted them in the light to get a better view. "Uncertainty," he read from the side of the blade. "Richie," he read as he flipped the scissors to the other side.
"What?!" cried Richard in disbelief as he thrust his arm out towards Ed. Caroline shrank back in her seat as far as she could to get out of the way. "Let me see those!" Ed handed the scissors back to him, and he adjusted his glasses as he observed the cutting utensil. Flipping back and forth between the two sides, he scoffed. "They're not engraved," he said a touch angrily, as if Ed had been the boy who cried "scissors", and now Richard was upset that he'd believed Ed when he'd only been kidding.
But Ed's face remained serious. "They are engraved, Richard, but you just can't see it."
Richard looked skeptical. "You're just messing with me."
Ed shook his head. "Self-doubt," he reminded him.
"Did he--?" asked Richard timidly. Ed nodded. "Yep. All his doing."
The corner of Richard's lip curled up in an expression meant to convey his disgust. Maggie snorted to herself. "Elvis has left the building," she said as she looked at Richard. His eyes slowly moved towards her. Despite the annoyed look he shot at her, her lips remained frozen in an amused smile.
Smug woman, he thought to himself with irritation. He returned his eyes to the scissors and kept silent for the remainder of the ride.
********
At first glance, the few businesses and stores along Cicely's main street would have made the tiny town appear worn-down and deserted, except for a tall, burly man strolling lazily along the sidewalk and an elderly couple sitting out on a bench in the sun. The truck rolled quietly by the town's only laundromat, general store, and doctor's office, with Joel pointing out each in turn, making a less-than-subtle comment about his working conditions and his contract with the town. Just at the edge of vision, a wolf trotted across the cracked pavement, headed towards a trash dumpster along the side of a tall red building. As they drew nearer, Caroline's eyes focused on the neon sign above the doorway. "The Brick," she read.
"They've got great food here," commented Joel.
"Hope you guys are as hungry as I am," said Ed, "because I'm gonna order us all a moose burger. Better than caribou, better than deer, and it doesn't taste like chicken!"
Richard glanced warily at Caroline and noticed immediately that she bore the same look of disgust as he did. Richard really wasn't much of a fan of burgers, especially those made from wild animals he'd never before seen outside of a television set, but, to tell the truth, if he hadn't been offered such "rustic" cuisine, he would have been disappointed, as he had expected every accommodation to be unaccommodating. Joel parked the truck across the street and hopped out. Richard shoved the passenger side door open and spilled out with Caroline close behind. Maggie and Ed clambered out Joel's side, and Ed slammed the door, its hinges emitting a harsh squeal. After stretching his tired and cramped limbs for a moment, Richard repeated the action.
"You guys coming?" called Joel from across the street, where he already stood next to Maggie and Ed. Caroline and Richard exchanged another wary glance before trudging exhaustedly across the pavement.
Maggie pulled open the heavy door as the five of them entered the bar. Cigarette smoke clouded the room just as it did every other bar in America, and hard rock played on the jukebox. On the far end of the room, a television near the ceiling was tuned to a hockey game and two men, one extremely burly and so hairy he could have passed for an ape, and the other relatively clean-cut and decent-looking, were arguing loudly across the bar, occasionally gesturing to the set.
"I told you, Hayden, this is my bar, and I'll play what I like!" yelled the cleaner of the two, who was obviously the bartender. "If I want to watch the Discovery channel, that's what we're all goin' ta watch. If you don't wan' to follah my rules, then you can leave!" He made a wild gesture towards the door, then craned his neck to see who his new patrons were. Hayden waved the man off and moved to a seat farther down the bar, muttering under his breath.
As the five of them approached the bar, Maggie smiled and called out. "Hey, Holling!"
"Maggie?" he called back, still squinting into the dimly lit room.
"We brought you some new customers," said Joel. As they reached the bar, Maggie motioned for Richard and Caroline to have a seat. Each tired, red barstool was in as bad of shape as the next, so Richard shrugged and sat down on one gently, half-afraid it would buckle under his weight. It held him fine, and he exhaled silently with relief.
"So, what can I do you folks for?" Holling asked as he looked the New Yorkers up and down. Caroline opened her mouth to speak, but was interrupted by Ed.
"They'll both have the moose burger with a side of chili fries and a glass of Sprite."
Holling raised his eyebrows at Richard and Caroline, as if to challenge Ed's request. "That all right with you?"
Caroline cleared her throat and nodded. "Yes, that's fine."
"Fine," echoed Richard.
"Have it ready for ya in a coupla minutes," Holling said as he moved to the back. "Eugene!" he called from behind the ice machine. "We need two number fives with a side of chili fries!"
"Comin' right up," called a disembodied voice, which most likely belonged to Eugene.
Caroline and Richard sat uncomfortably on the stools, their posture much like a wooden plank. From behind them, Joel slapped a hand on their shoulders and said, "There aren't many digs like this in the big city, are there, huh?"
Richard looked back at Joel. His grin was still a little too excited, Richard noted. Almost like the grin of a psychopath. Squinty eyes and lips whose corners pulled way up into the middle of his face. Yes, this man was definitely unbalanced. Richard merely nodded and replied, "Starbucks is about as rustic as we get."
Joel grinned wider, if it was possible and turned to Caroline. "I like this guy." Caroline smiled waveringly. "So where abouts are you guys from? I'm from Flushing. Queens."
Before Caroline could answer, Holling returned with their sodas. "Two Sprites," he announced, setting down a napkin in front of each of them upon which he put the drinks.
"Thanks," said Caroline quietly.
"City girls still have manners," mused Holling.
"Of course they do, Babe," came a voice from a few feet behind him. "What, do you think they're all mean and bitter witches like on tv?"
"Hey-ya, Shelly," said Holling.
"Who are the new folks?" she asked.
"This is Richard and Caroline, here from New York City," offered Maggie.
"Bitchin'!" she cried. "So are you guys, like, friends of Dr. F.?"
"No," replied Richard. "Apparently Ed got a Call and he felt he needed to come and fetch us."
"No kiddin'? Neat-o," she gushed with a smile. She hadn't seemed at all surprised by Richard's response. It appeared that everyone around here must be used to the idea of Ed as a shaman. Something about it still didn't sit right with him.
With a carefully trained artist's eye, he observed the way Shelly's dark-blonde hair was pulled partway back on her head and the delicate features of her pretty face, but to his disappointment, he detected a sort of vacuous quality to her gaze. It wasn't an annoying, ditzy sort of vacuousness, but more of a sweet and endearing type. She sure looked....young. Not too young to be a waitress in a bar--she had to beat least twenty-five--but too young to be calling the bartender "Babe". Holling looked to Richard as if he were old enough to be Shelly's father, if not her grandfather. Something else about the situation unsettled him a bit, but just exactly what it was eluded him.
"Shelly, honey, table five is wavin' for the check," said Holling.
"'Kay. Nice meeting you guys," she said to Richard and Caroline.
"Nice to meet you, too, Shelly," said Caroline. As Shelly disappeared into the main floor of the bar with a tray under her arm and a pad of paper in her hand, Richard rewarded her with the smile he'd given Ed when they'd first met. Something about her still bothered him; it bothered him the same way the idea of Ed as a shaman did. But he didn't know what it was.
Before he could give it another thought, a bell dinged and the voice of the unseen Eugene called "Two number fives with chili fries!"
Holling walked over to the order-up tray and brought two plates over to Richard and Caroline. Caroline stared down at her plate with wonder. The moose burger was absolutely honking huge (as Annie might say) and the rest of the rather large plate--which was actually more of a platter--was heaped with greasy, delicious-smelling fries. She instantly knew there was no way in hell she was ever going to finish all of it, but nevertheless, she picked up a fry and nibbled on it. "Mmm. Not bad."
"Now try the burger," said Ed excitedly. She noticed that all five of them, including Richard, were watching her in anticipation, as if she were a famous restaurant critic in a four-star establishment instead of a lonely New York cartoonist in a bar in the wilds of Alaska. Cautiously, she took a bite of the burger, more than aware of the five pairs of eyes watching her scrupulously. With the first taste, she decided it was definitely different than anything she'd ever tried before. It wasn't delicious by any means, but it was okay. And that's how she described it to her audience.
Richard took this as a sign that it was edible enough for him, so he started in on his. He agreed with Caroline's assessment of the food. "It's okay," he agreed.
"Well, that's wonderful," said Holling contentedly. "Can I get you anything, Maggie? Ed? Joel?"
The three of them shook their heads. They seemed more interested in watching the city folk dine than satisfying their own appetites. Holling watched them eat for a few moments more before disappearing into the back.
The meal passed in silence. Near silence, anyway. Maggie struck up a conversation with Ed about someone named Mike who apparently lived in a bubble, while Joel constantly pestered Richard with questions about New York. Richard answered them patiently until Joel started asking about the Yankees, when Richard stopped him and informed him he knew nothing about sports and wouldn't he mind leaving him alone?--he was trying to eat! Joel backed off dejectedly and seemed to almost pout like a child. He was quiet for the remainder of the meal. Richard couldn't tell whether Joel was upset with him or whether he was just trying to think of more irritating questions to ask him.
********
Continued in Part Eight
********
Please visit my Caroline in the City webpage: Sincere Amore