"Oh, God, Chandler, I'm so sorry. I didn't see you."
Monica crouched at Chandler's side, resting a hand on his shoulder, and studied his face. He groaned and tried to shift to a more comfortable position. He had landed with his head pinned at an awkward angle against the hallway wall, the rest of his body sprawled on the floor.
"What happened?" Joey asked as everyone else piled out of the apartment, having heard the crash outside. "Chandler?"
"Oh my God, Monica beat up Chandler," Phoebe yelled.
"I didn't beat him up," Monica said. "I ran into him and he fell. Now come on, he's bleeding. Help me get him up."
"No, I'm fine. I can get up," Chandler said, raising himself to a sitting position. He swept his fingers gingerly over his forehead, feeling blood over his right eyebrow.
"Don't touch it," Monica said, swiping his hand away. "Come on, let's get you inside."
Joey and Monica each grabbed a hand and pulled Chandler to his feet. The group moved back into the apartment and settled Chandler in his recliner. Rachel handed Monica a towel and some ice.
"Don't use the fancy towel," Phoebe said in a panic. She looked on in shock as Monica paid no attention to the towel and quickly pressed it to Chandler's head. He winced and tried to take it from her.
"Just keep that in place. You might need stitches," Monica said.
"I don't need stitches. I'm fine," Chandler said. He grabbed her hand and moved it away from his face. Rejected, Monica dropped her hand and sat on the coffee table in front of him.
"I'm sorry," she said softly.
"Hey, it's OK," he said. "I'm fine. Really. It's just a scratch."
"No, not about that," Monica said. "Everything. I'm sorry."
Chandler was quiet. Monica stole a glance at him, and saw that he looked terrible. His hair stuck up in odd places, his tie hung loosely around his neck, his shirt was wrinkled, pulled halfway out of his pants. His eyes were puffy and bloodshot, lined with dark, bruised circles.
Now that he was sitting here in front of her, she felt overwhelmed with everything she wanted to say to him. She didn't know where to begin. She tugged absently at her ring finger, and then, afraid she would just draw his attention to the missing ring, folded her hands in her lap.
Chandler didn't notice her anxiety. He had enough of his own. He, too, knew what he wanted to say to her, knew what had brought him back here, but facing Monica now, he didn't know if he could go through with it.
"We should probably get out of here," Ross whispered to the rest of his friends, who were gathered in the kitchen.
"Sshh, I can't hear what they're saying," Rachel said.
"That's because they aren't even talking," Ross said.
"No, I think Chandler's lips are moving," Phoebe said.
Ross cleared his throat. "Um, we'll all be in the next room," he called out to Chandler and Monica. Phoebe and Rachel groaned, but allowed Ross and Joey to usher them out of the room.
"Chandler-" Monica started when their friends had cleared out.
"No. Stop," Chandler said, holding up a hand.
"Please, let me-"
"Monica, wait. Please," he said. "There's something I have to say." Monica froze, then nodded for him to continue.
"I am so sorry about all of this, about everything that's happened," he said. He wanted to look away, to avoid seeing anything on her face that he was afraid of, but he forced himself to lock eyes with her.
"I know you said you needed time to think, that you had to clear up some doubts-"
"Chandler-"
"No, let me finish. Please," he said. "I want to give you that space, I've tried, but I can't. I won't. I have spent my whole life looking for someone like you. Actually, that's not quite true. I spent most of my life thinking I'd never have someone like you. That, that I'd never be in love like this, and that even if I did, no one would return it. I didn't think I deserved someone like you."
Chandler paused. He was crying now, but he didn't care. So was she. He wiped the tears from his face with the sleeve of his shirt, and took a deep, shaking breath before continuing.
"The thing is, Monica, maybe I don't deserve someone like you. But I don't care. When I'm with you, I know that I'm the luckiest person in the world. Nothing else matters. And now that I've had that, there's no way I'll let go. I will not give up on us. So I guess what I'm saying is, I'm sorry, but you're stuck with me."
Before she could say anything, Chandler dropped to his knees in front of her. He reached into his pocket and took out her engagement ring. She saw it and gasped, and now the tears were running freely down her cheeks.
"Monica, marry me. Please."
Monica nodded before she could speak. "Yes."
Chandler was too shocked at first to react to her reply. He'd prepared himself for her to say no.
"Really?" She nodded again. "Are you sure?"
"Dammit, yes," she said, smiling even as her voice caught on a sob.
He slid the ring back onto her finger, and they fell into a sloppy embrace, clutching to each other, breathing hard as they cried together. Chandler reached a hand up to the back of Monica's head, pulling away from her just enough to stare into her face before kissing her greedily. She slid into his arms on the floor, sitting in his lap as they went on kissing.
"Have you been smoking?" she asked when they finally ended the kiss.
"Can we talk about it later?" Monica smiled and nodded, burying her face in his chest. He rocked her slowly in his arms.
"I'm so sorry," Monica mumbled into his shirt after a few minutes.
"What do you have to be sorry for?" Chandler said back to her, his wet cheek pressed against her hair.
"I'm sorry I wasn't more supportive," she said. "When you told me. I'm sorry I reacted so badly."
"Mon, I'd be kinda worried if you hadn't reacted like that," he said. They were quiet for a moment, content to just hold each other on the floor.
"I thought you'd really left me tonight," Monica said, her voice soft. "I looked everywhere for you."
"Really? Everywhere? Even The Lusty Lady?"
"Just about."
Chandler looked thoughtful, imagining Monica searching for him all over the city. "Well, I really was going to leave. Had the bus ticket and everything."
"But you didn't. You came back."
"Yeah, well, I realized, you're the best thing I've got in my life, and I'd be the dumbest person in the world to let that go," he said, pausing to kiss her forehead. "So, I pretty much figured I'd just stalk you for the rest of your life, well, until they sent me to prison anyway. And then I'd just send you scary love letters every day, until you moved or changed your name, and-"
"Got it," Monica said, kissing him on the mouth to stop him from talking. They grew quiet again. "You know, Ross told me about college. About what you went through."
"Oh," Chandler said, reaching for Monica's hand and toying with her ring. "Yeah, that was kind of a difficult time."
"He also told me that you were injured in the accident."
"Again, not a very pleasant time."
"You thought you deserved it."
"Well, didn't I?" he asked, squeezing the ring between his fingers.
"I don't know," Monica said honestly. "I guess bad things just happen. But I want you to know, no matter what happens, I'm always here for you."
"Thanks," he said, and kissed her cheek. "Hey, there's something I want to show you."
He gently shifted Monica off of his lap, then got up slowly and took her hand, leading her into their bedroom. He paused when he saw the mess in their room, raising a curious eyebrow in her direction, but decided to leave that discussion for later.
Chandler sat her on the end of their bed then stepped carefully across the room, avoiding the clothes and shoes that littered the floor, and crouched down in front of the closet. He pulled a box from the back and dug to the bottom of it, finally retrieving a thin photo album. He stood up and walked back to the bed, sitting on the end of it next to Monica. He set the photo album in her lap. When she looked up at him, confused, he opened the first page for her. Monica looked down at the top photo and laughed.
"Is that you?"
"Yeah," he said, smiling. "I actually had long hair for almost all of junior year. That was in my Whitesnake phase."
"You had a Whitesnake phase?"
"Didn't everyone? I used to actually blow dry my hair."
"Are you wearing acid-washed jeans?"
"Sure. You can't see it, but there's also a huge rip in the ass. That was cool, you know."
"That was never cool," Monica said. "Who are the other guys?"
"Well, that's Kit," Chandler said, pointing to the teen on his left. "He was so skinny and had like the worst acne."
"Guess that explains the beard now," Monica said.
"Yeah," Chandler agreed. He pointed to the next kid, who looked about a foot shorter than the rest and four years younger. "That's Vic."
"So he just never got that growth spurt. Poor thing," Monica said. "Who's that?" She pointed to the last person.
"Kirk," Chandler said.
"Oh. He's really cute."
"Yeah, he was," Chandler said. "He was one of those guys that all the girls liked, but he was totally awkward and shy around them, so he never got anywhere. He was always, you know, making really stupid jokes to try to impress them or something, but they just thought he was lame."
Monica smiled. "Sounds like someone else I know."
"Are you kidding? I would've killed for his technique," Chandler said. "I just lost all control of my tongue when I talked to girls. The inappropriate humor thing came later."
Chandler and Monica spent close to an hour flipping through his photo album, mostly laughing at the old pictures of him. Monica had never seen photos of him at this age, and Chandler, who had kept the album with him since high school, hadn't actually looked at the photos in 15 years. He was surprised at how much he enjoyed the pictures, and how much fun it was to share them with Monica. He had always figured it would be painful, even traumatic, to remember anything from that time. Instead, he was laughing more now than he had in a month.
When they got to the end, Chandler closed the album and held it in his lap, folding his hands on top of it. Monica rested a hand on top of his.
"Thank you for that," she said. "It meant a lot to me."
"Yeah, me too," Chandler said, and smiled at her.
"I just wish you could've told me all this sooner," Monica said.
"I know. I should have."
"Yes, you should have," Monica said. "And not because I had a right to know, but because that's what people who love each other do, they support each other, and they allow themselves to be supported. I realize I wasn't exactly the best example of that at first. I mean, it took me some time to come around. But Chandler, I'm really here for you, OK?"
He smiled. "OK."
"Good," she said. "Now kiss me some more. We haven't had nearly enough of that lately."
Chandler smiled and obliged.
+++++
An hour later Monica and Chandler sat on the living room couch, wrapped in each other's arms and surrounded by their friends. Monica had patched up Chandler's face, and he now had a crisp bandage on his forehead and a bruise blooming around his eye _ the right eye, this time. It was late, and everyone was exhausted, but after such a welcome end to an agonizing day, no one wanted to go to bed just yet.
"So you guys heard everything tonight?" Chandler asked. "You could actually hear us through the front door?"
"Sure, because Rachel left it open," Ross said, sitting next to Rachel on the couch and giving her a reproachful stare.
"It was totally worth it," Phoebe said, tucked into Chandler's recliner.
"Yeah, I mean, Chandler, three proposals?" Rachel said.
"I just like hearing Monica say the word yes," Chandler said, smiling at his fiancée.
"Yes," she said, grinning back at him.
"There it is," Chandler said, and kissed her on the nose.
Rachel groaned and rolled her eyes. "Seriously, Chandler, you've proposed so many times, you're like tied with Ross now."
"Actually, he's one up on me," Ross said. "I never proposed to you."
"Not that you remember, anyway," Rachel said.
"So, dude, you were really going to go to Topeka?" Joey asked. "Where is that anyway? Is that a real place? Were you just tricking us again?"
"It's in Kansas, Joey," Ross said. "And yeah, why Topeka?"
"I don't know, I guess it was just the first bus out of town," Chandler said. "I wasn't really thinking straight."
"Hey, Kansas, maybe you were thinking like Dorothy, you know, in 'The Wizard of Oz,'" Phoebe said. "'There's no place like home, there's no place like home.'"
"Except for Chandler, home was here, and Kansas was, well, not home," Rachel said.
"Oh. Yeah," Phoebe said. "Unless Chandler lied about that too, and he's actually really from Kansas. You lied, didn't you? Didn't you?!"
"No, I'm not from Kansas," Chandler said.
"OK, then yeah, my theory doesn't work," Phoebe said.
"So, back to you guys listening in on our like most personal conversation ever," Chandler said, twirling a strand of Monica's hair around a finger. "Don't we have any privacy around here?"
"Oh, what are you complaining about?" Rachel grumbled. "At least you guys are a happy couple again."
"Yeah, they're not the only ones," Joey said, yawning and leaning back against a pillow on the floor.
"What?" Ross asked.
"What was that?" Rachel said.
Joey looked up in surprise. He hadn't meant to let that slip. "Um-"
Rachel smiled slyly. "Are you talking about you and Phoebe?"
Joey's eyes widened in shock, and he and Phoebe exchanged a glance.
"No," he said. "I was talking about you and Ross."
"What?" Rachel and Ross said at the same time. Everyone else just nodded knowingly.
"What, does everyone know about us?" Ross asked, looking around the room.
"Ross!" Rachel hissed.
"Uh huh," Phoebe said.
"Oh yeah," Joey said.
"Yup," Chandler said.
"That's right," Monica said.
"Wait," Rachel said. "You all know about me and Ross?"
"Yeah, I walked in on you guys doing it here on the couch," Phoebe said.
"Me too," Joey said.
"Ew," Monica moaned, and shifted toward the edge of the couch.
"And you guys remember when I walked in on you," Chandler said, laughing as Monica practically jumped in his lap to try to examine the couch cushions.
"Yeah, and I walked in on you doing it in Joey's barca lounger," Monica said.
"So let me get this straight," Ross said. "Not only do all of you know about us, but you've all actually seen us doing it?" He grimaced as he finished his question.
"Oh yeah," everyone said.
"Oh my God. Oh my God. This is so humiliating," Rachel groaned, covering her face with her hands.
"More humiliating than what you did to me tonight?" Joey asked.
"What?" Monica and Chandler said at the same time.
"Nothing. It's a very long story," Rachel said, sending a furious glare to Joey.
"So, um, about you and Ross," Joey said, sensing that he should avoid talking about what had happened in Phoebe's room. "Rachel, there's nothing to be embarrassed about. I mean, you looked hot. Even with Ross you looked hot." Rachel and Ross glared at him.
"Come on, Joey's right," Phoebe said. "Well, not about you looking hot, although, now that I think about it, you kinda did. But anyway, you shouldn't be embarrassed. I think it's great that you guys are back together."
"Actually," Ross said, and looked at Rachel thoughtfully.
"We're not," she finished for him.
"What do you mean? We all saw you," Chandler said.
"Way too much of you," Monica added.
"Yeah, we were just, you know," Ross stammered.
"Bonus night," Rachel said.
"That's one hell of a long night," Chandler said.
"Look, it doesn't matter, we're not doing it anymore," Rachel said.
"We're not?" Ross asked. Rachel jabbed him in the ribs. "Yes, we're not."
"That's right," Rachel said. "And we're not back together. It was just, you know, a fling."
"Right," Chandler said. "A fling."
"Uh huh," Phoebe said.
"Sure," Joey said.
"Seriously," Rachel insisted. "It's over now. We're not getting back together."
"OK, Rachel, whatever you say," Monica said, smiling indulgently at her.
"So, um, Rach, what'd you mean about Phoebe and Joey?" Chandler asked. He kissed the top of Monica's head and wrapped both arms around her, enjoying being close to her again.
"Oh, that!" Rachel said, thrilled at the prospect of not only changing the topic, but also sharing some gossip. "You two," she said, waving a finger between Joey and Phoebe, "have been getting it on, haven't you?"
Joey and Phoebe exchanged a look over the coffee table.
"What are you talking about?" Joey asked.
"Yeah, what kind of pornographic fairy tales have you been making up?" Phoebe asked.
"Come on," Rachel said. "Don't deny it. I saw Phoebe naked in your room the other day."
"You think we're sleeping together because of that?" Phoebe asked. "I told you, I always nap naked."
"That is true," Chandler said, smiling for a second then quickly frowning before Monica could notice.
"You know, I agree the naked nap isn't very good evidence," Monica said. "But I did hear some highly suspicious foreplay talk coming from Joey's room a few days ago."
"That's right!" Rachel yelled triumphantly. "Ha! And what about the lingerie, Phoebe? Why were you in your room with Joey wearing lingerie?"
"OK, fine," Phoebe said, shrugging at the surprised look on Joey's face.
"That's right, we admit it," Joey said, sitting up straight. "Phoebe and I are having sex. We were tired of all the dirty secrets and decided to make one of our own."
"But it's no big deal," Phoebe said. "It was just like you guys."
"Uh huh. A bonus night," Joey said.
"Wait, you guys can't have a bonus night," Rachel said. "That's not fair. You have to be dating to have a bonus night."
"Really?" Joey asked.
"I've never heard that rule before," Phoebe said.
"Oh please, that's the whole point of the bonus night," Rachel said, exasperated. "It's like your last shot. The grand finale."
"Hey, yeah, that kinda makes sense," Phoebe said. "Hmm, so we'd have to date to have a bonus night."
"Interesting," Joey said, a thoughtful look on his face as he leaned back into his pillow.
+++++
It was nearly 3 a.m. before Chandler and Monica had the place to themselves. Phoebe was spending the night at Ross's so they could have some privacy. They walked their friends to the door and said goodnight, then walked hand-in-hand to their bedroom. Chandler stopped suddenly when they were confronted with the mess there, and cast a worried frown at Monica.
"So, you want to tell me what this was all about?" he said.
"I'll tell you tomorrow."
"Um, OK. But we should probably clean it up now, right?"
Monica sighed deeply. She looked at him and realized how exhausted he was, his face drawn and his eyes drooping. She probably didn't look much better.
"We can take care of that tomorrow too," she said, and walked to the bed, picking her way around piles of clothes.
"Are you sure?" he asked, still standing in the doorway. The room really was a disaster.
"Yeah. Come on. Let's go to bed." He didn't argue with her. If she could ignore the mess in their bedroom, she must be nearly asleep on her feet.
In fact, they both felt drained, as though they hadn't had a decent sleep or even a pleasant thought in weeks. And that wasn't far from the truth. They sat side by side on the bed, Chandler tugging off his shoes and sliding the tie over his head, Monica unbuttoning her shirt. When he had stripped to the boxers he planned to wear to bed and she had pulled on a simple nightgown, they got under the rumpled covers and turned out the lights.
"So, are we really OK?" Chandler asked in the darkness. He didn't want to go to sleep without her reassurance.
"Yes, we are," she said. Chandler raised himself on an elbow so he could look down into her face, just making out her features in the faint glow of a streetlight. He reached out a hand and touched her face, tracing her eyes and her nose and her jaw.
"I'm glad you know," he said.
"You are?"
"Yes. It's out in the open now. I don't have anything else to hide."
"You better not," she teased lightly. He kissed her softly for a moment then leaned back, stroking her hair.
"I thought you hated me," he said after a moment of silence. "I thought you'd never forgive me."
"I never hated you," she said earnestly, reaching up a hand to pull his face closer to hers. "I never stopped loving you. And I don't think there was ever a moment when I honestly didn't want to spend the rest of my life with you. It was just such a shock."
"But you're OK with it now?"
"No. I don't think I ever will be, like you," she said. "But that's OK. I don't have to be. I know what matters now."
"What's that?"
"What matters is that it's you. And it's us. All that other stuff, it can't stop us."
She could feel Chandler smiling under her fingers. "I'm glad to hear you say that."
"Well, it's like you said. We're stuck together."
Chandler lay down then and pulled Monica to him, folding her neatly in his arms, her cheek on his bare chest, her arm resting lazily on his shoulder. He smiled as he felt her fall asleep.
And he thought, perhaps for the first time in his life, that finally everything was going to be just fine.
The end.
Final note: I have to thank Jjaks one more time. His editing and honest critique was beyond fabulous with this story, especially in the last two chapters. At least three or four scenes were his ideas. And chances are if you thought something in this story was funny (and I don't mean because the writing was so bad), the idea came from him. So, Jjaks, thanks for all the help. You asshole. :-)