Disclaimer Time: The characters are not mine. Just this idea is mine. I just thought of this as something fluffy and fun. Well as fluffy as you can get with the Brotherhood anyway.
Shiny Happy Toad
"Alright," Mystique sat at her desk in her principal disguise. "I now call in session this week's meeting of the Future Psychopaths of America. Blob! Put that down!"
Fred looked embarrassed as he hid the paddleball behind his back. "Sorry."
"You certainly are. Okay first on the agenda, the weekly review."
This was met with groans from the Brotherhood. "I feel the exact same way!" Mystique snapped. "Now Alvers, let's start with you. About that fight you had yesterday."
"Which one?"
"The one behind the bleachers."
"Which time? The one before first period or the one after lunch?"
"The one during lunch!"
"Oh that…"
"Yeah that! Look, I don't care if you want to punch out half the school, just don't do it on school time! Or use your powers! Thank goodness I was able to convince everyone that the bleachers were built poorly! Dukes, stop eating your way through the school budget! You've already given heart attacks to three lunch ladies! Maximoff! I do not want another incident in home ec!"
"I was only having fun!"
"I doubt Daniels considered it fun."
"I don't care what he said, he looks pretty good in a dress."
"Yes well the classroom looks awful with those holes in it due to the spikes he threw! You are just lucky that there was a substitute in the class and not a real teacher! If I hadn't been in the hallway and found a way to distract the students our secret would be out!"
"How did she do that anyway?" Lance asked.
"That's not important," Mystique said. "What is important is that you keep your powers in check!"
"She turned into a dog," Pietro said.
"Wow! Cool!" Todd said.
"Yes," Mystique rubbed her head, indicating that she was getting another headache. "For some reason simple minds are attracted to animals in school."
"Ooh! What kind of dog?" Fred asked.
"What color was it?" Todd asked.
"NEVER MIND!" Mystique screamed. "Tolensky…oh where do I begin? The insect eating? The pickpocketing? The slime in the football players' locker room? The interesting doodles on the ceiling in art class? How you made it snow in the girls' locker room?"
"How did you do that?" Lance asked.
"Well you take a bunch of dry ice, and some slime…" Todd began.
"That's enough!" Mystique shouted. "I don't want to hear it! God you are so pathetic Toad! Can't you stay out of trouble for one day?"
"Uh…do you mean a school day or a 24 hour deal?" Todd asked.
"Never mind!" Mystique groaned. "Now down to business, there may be a possible mutant sighting this afternoon at the away football game. I want you boys to check it out, except for you Toad!"
"Why?"
"Why? Because you are a pathetic weakling who causes nothing but trouble that's why!" she snarled.
"Yeah besides if you go to the game, we're gonna spend more time looking after your sorry butt and saving it from the jocks!" Lance snickered.
"But I can scout out the situation!" Todd protested. "I do stuff too!"
"Yeah, like fall into the trashcans from the bleachers!" Lance said.
"Those seats were way too spread apart! I can't help it that I'm thin enough to fall through them!" Todd fumed. "I'm just as good as you guys! You should let me in on more missions!"
"You're lucky we let you sit at the grownup table Toad!" Lance laughed.
"Poor widdle Toddy," Pietro giggled. "You got to stay home like a good little boy."
"Don't call me that!" Todd's face grew red. "I'm not a little kid! I'm not! I'm not!"
"Quit throwing a tantrum you pathetic baby or else I'll make you stand in the corner!" Mystique snapped. "On second thought, go home! We can finish this without you!"
"Yeah Toad," Lance laughed. "This conversation is for grown-ups!"
"Aw c'mon Lance, lay off him," said Fred as Todd stormed out of the office. He ran all the way home, fighting the tears in his eyes. Todd slammed the door behind him as he entered the Brotherhood house. "It's not fair!" He shouted, throwing his books on the floor. "It's not fair! Just 'cause I'm younger and shorter than they are I get treated like a little kid!"
Todd pouted and stomped into Mystique's room. " 'You're a pathetic weakling Toad!'" he snapped in a sarcastic voice. " 'Get off the wall Toad. You're making a mess, Toad. Can't you do anything right Toad?' AGGHHHHHH! I HATE HER! I HATE HER! I HATE HER! Well Miss Big Shot, I can do this pretty well!"
He opened her closet and went inside. A strange slurping sound was heard. Todd came out giggling. "Yeah, boy is she gonna be surprised the next time she puts those boots on! Let's see what other damage can I do?"
He opened her drawer chest. "Hmmmmm….What the…?" he took out a leather outfit and a whip. "Man, that lady is into some really weird stuff! Maybe I'd better not mess with her things anymore. She might want to use this on me! But just in case…"
He broke the whip on his knee. "There! That takes care of that! Oh I just got an idea! Ha! I'll just take this and this and these…"
Todd took an armful of Mystique's underwear and bras and went into Lance's room where he cheerfully discarded half of it in various places. Places he knew where Mystique would look and Lance wouldn't know about it until it was too late. Laughing maniacally, he deposited the rest in Pietro's room. He dusted his hands. "Well that'll teach them to mess with the Toad!"
Feeling a little better, he hopped down to the kitchen. "Well, since Freddy's out maybe for once I'll get first crack at the food," he said. "It's a good thing I like bugs, otherwise I'd've starved to death long ago."
"Aw man!" he moaned when he saw that it was practically empty. "The Blob strikes again!"
He checked the cabinets. "Empty too…Hey! What's this stuff?" He took out a couple of bottles. "Non-Alcoholic Strawberry Daiquiri mix. Hmmm. I like Strawberries. Wonder what it tastes like?"
He opened the bottle and took a sip. "Hmmm. Sweet. Whoa…" His eyes began to spin. A huge grin emerged on his face and he started to giggle. Maybe being home alone wasn't so bad after all.
"Man Mystique has got to get a Cerebro thingy of her own!" Pietro snapped.
"I can't believe we wasted an entire day just to watch some guy in a polar bear costume!" Lance snarled. "I hate these false alarms!"
"Well, it wasn't a total loss!" Fred munched on a candy bar. "They had good snacks there."
"Yeah well I'm glad the Boss Lady got stuck paying for it!" Pietro agreed, munching on his own candy bar. "It was her fault we wasted the whole day anyway!"
Lance opened the door to the house. "Hey Toad! We're back! Turns out it was another false alarm! Yo! Toad! Where are ya?"
Todd hopped into the room. His hair and shirt were covered in glitter and he had a wild look on his face. "BANZAI!" he yelled, taking out a can of silly string and covering them with it.
"Toad!"
"What the…?!"
"Hey watch it!"
Todd laughed and hopped out of their reach onto the wall and onto the ceiling. He made his way to the kitchen with the others shouting threats at him.
"What's the big idea?"
"Come back here!"
"Where'd he get the glitter?" Fred asked. They ran in and stared at the kitchen. The walls were covered in glitter and doodles. There was paint and other art supplies all over the counters. Silly string was the dominant theme of the room, hanging everywhere.
"What the hell did you do?" Lance gasped. Todd answered by shooting him again with the silly string and threw the can at him when he ran out.
"That's for being mean to me!" Todd snapped hopping off the ceiling and onto the kitchen counter. "Mean! Mean! Mean! You guys are so mean! You never take me anywhere! Especially you Lance! Well I'm mad and I'm not gonna take it anymore! If you guys don't wanna be with me, then I'll just have some fun by myself! So there!"
"What brought this on?" Pietro asked. "He almost never acts like this around us! What got into him?"
"Uh I think I know," said Fred holding up two empty bottles. "Looks like Toad had himself a little party."
"Oh no," Lance groaned. "He got into the daiquiri mixes again!"
"I don't get it, these things have no alcohol in them!" Fred looked at the empty bottles. "How could he get so hyper?"
"They're full of sugar," Pietro explained. "Quite good really. Wonder if there's any left?"
"Now don't you start or we will really have a mess on our hands!" Lance ordered.
"Toad come on," said Pietro. "We're sorry we laughed at you. We were only teasing. We didn't mean it."
"I just wanted to be with you guys," Todd pouted with a hurt look on his face.
"Oh for the love of Mike," Lance snapped. "Do you believe this?"
"C'mon Lance!" Pietro said. "You know what he's like when he's in one of his 'I Want Some Attention' moods! He'll bug everyone in sight until somebody breaks down and plays with him. Or beats him senseless."
"Sounds good to me," Lance grumbled. "I mean why do I always have to be the one taking care of him?"
"Oh fine you big baby I'll do it!" Pietro snapped. "Hey Toad! Wanna play fetch?"
"Ohboyohboyohboy!" Todd jumped up and down rapidly. "I wanna play! I wanna play! Play with me!"
"Oh lord, he's even talking like you Pietro," Lance shook his head.
Pietro made a face at Lance and took out a bag of Doritos. "Hey Toad! Wanna Dorito? Huh? Do ya huh?" He waved it up and down in front of Todd's face. Todd nodded his head rapidly. Pietro tossed one into the air. "Go get it!"
Todd shot his tongue out and caught it. "Good Toad! Here's another one so go get it!" Pietro called out.
Todd repeated catching Doritos with his tongue again and again. Lance watched in a state of shock as Pietro kept throwing Doritos at different angles and heights. "More! More! More!" Todd shouted.
"Pietro don't encourage him!" Lance said angrily.
"Lance lighten up! You know when he's on a sugar high the best way to deal with it is to play along until he tires himself out," Pietro said.
"Actually that's how we deal with you!" Lance snapped.
"I am going to be a mature adult and forget you said that! So there!" Pietro stuck out his tongue. "C'mon Toad! See the chip? See it? See it? Go get it! Way to go Toad! Oops. All gone!"
"No more?" Todd looked disappointed as Pietro showed him the empty bag.
"Sorry kid," Pietro shrugged. "Now what are we gonna do with him?"
"Oh you're asking me now?" Lance snapped.
"Yes oh glorious leader," Pietro snapped back. "I think as leader you should at least try to play with him or calm him down or something."
"Forget it!"
"C'mon man, the little guy just wants some attention!"
"Uh guys," Fred began as he watched Todd.
"I am not playing big brother to that little spaz!"
"Why not? You like to play with him as much as we do! You're just being stubborn."
"Look I am just trying to keep Mystique from going postal on us!"
"You are so full of it! You just wanna impress Magneto on how mature and responsible you are!"
"Uh guys," Fred said in a quite worried tone. Neither Lance nor Pietro heard him or the wild giggling coming from Todd.
"I saw how you were acting the other day when he met with us," Pietro continued. " 'Yes sir! You can count on us sir.' Puh-leeze! What a suck up!"
"I was not sucking up!"
"Were too!"
"Was not!"
"Were too!"
"I was not! I was acting like a group leader!"
"You were acting like Summers!"
"You take that back!"
"Guys…."
"He he he!"
"Alvers, let me give you some advice, stop trying so hard. If Magneto is going to take any notice of any of us, it will be me. I just have an inside advantage over you. That's all."
"Oh yeah?"
"Yeah!"
"And what kind of advantage could you possibly have, Maximoff?"
"Wouldn't you like to know."
"Guys look out!" Fred shouted.
"GLITTER ATTACK!"
Pietro used his speed to escape a shower of sticky gold that fell from the ceiling. Lance was not as fortunate.
"AGGGHHHH! It's in my hair!" Lance pawed at his hair as Todd's maniacal laughter filled the room.
"He's on the ceiling again," Fred informed them.
"WHEEEEEEEEEEE!" Todd yelled out, skittering into the next room via the ceiling.
"TOAD GET OFF THE CEILING!" Lance shouted.
"NO! I'm still mad at you!" Todd shouted back.
"Toad get down here!"
Todd stuck out his tongue and hopped on top of a high cabinet. "No I won't! You were mean to me! At least Pietro said he was sorry and played with me."
"Well you are gonna be sorry if you don't come down here! Mystique is gonna be here any minute! Do you wanna get in trouble? Wha…What are you doing?"
They watched in disbelief as Todd took out a couple of crayons from his pocket and started scribbling on the wall. "I'm coloring!" he chirped. "Since I'm such a little kid, might as well act like one! La La La La La!"
"Toad knock it off! Stop it!" Lance shouted. But Todd ignored him and drew on the ceiling.
"Look I drew a rainbow!" Todd sang out. "And here's some flowers and a horsie and a happy sun face!"
"Lance you oughta do something!" said Fred. "Hey! That's a neat horsie!"
Lance went up to the cabinet, grabbed it by the sides and began to shake it in order to get Todd off of it. Todd jumped off and threw the crayons at Lance. He clung to the ceiling and blew a raspberry before hopping to the stairs. Lance and Fred chased after him. They tried to catch him, but he hopped out an open window onto the limb of a nearby tree.
"Toad get inside, please!" Fred pleaded.
"No I wanna play!" Todd laughed as he started going back and forth among the large trees in the yard.
Lance and Fred watched in amazement as Todd swung from tree to tree and back again. "I'm Tarzan!" Todd yelped happily as he did a series of acrobatic stunts.
"Wow he's really good!" Fred said in wonder.
"Toad get back in here! Right now young man! I'm not kidding!" Lance shouted from the window. "Okay I'm gonna count to three and if you are not back here I am gonna drag your butt back in here myself."
"How?" Fred asked. "Mystique told you not to use your powers around here anymore or the house will collapse! And you can't seriously be thinking of going out there."
"I'm not. He's coming in! Toad okay! One…Two…Ouch!" Lance winced as a sneaker hit him in the head. "That is not funny mister! Watch it!" He dodged the other shoe. "Okay Toad now I'm mad! So if you don't want to end up on the ground…"
He didn't get a chance to finish his sentence because Todd's shirt hit him in the head. "AGGHHHH! THE SMELL! Oh no…No! Toad you are not doing what I think you are doing!" Lance shouted. "Toad don't do that! Don't throw your socks there! No! Toad don't do it! Stop it! PUT YOUR CLOTHES BACK ON YOU DERANGED FROG!"
Todd crouched on the tree, wearing only a pair of dark boxers. He puffed out his chest and beat on it with his fists, making a loud Tarzan yell. "Me Toad! King of the Jungle!" he whooped before leaping to the next tree.
"You Toad, King of Lunatics!" Lance shouted. "Pietro, it looks like you're gonna haveta go out there…Pietro?"
"Uh oh," Fred looked around with a worried look on his face.
Their worst fears were confirmed as they heard a deranged laugh coming from the kitchen. Then a wild blur raced by them out the window. They saw Pietro hanging on a limb of a nearby tree, wearing a homemade brown loincloth and laughing like crazy.
"Me Wild Boy! Live in trees! Be free!" Pietro shouted, following up with a Tarzan laugh of his own.
"He's gone," Fred shrugged.
"Aw man! Not him too! This cannot get any worse!" Said Lance.
"Wanna bet?" Fred pointed out the window to Mystique's car coming up the driveway. She got out of the car with a dazed look on her face. She stared at Todd and Pietro whooping it up in the trees. Then she quite calmly got back in the car and took off at high speed down the street.
"Well so much for her making dinner tonight," said Fred.
"Y'know she took it much better than I thought she would," Lance said. "She must be getting used to us. Fred, what are we gonna do now?"
They watched as Todd and Pietro made monkey noises at each other and raced to the backyard. Lance put his head in his hands as he heard them play.
"Go Frog-Brother! Hop like the wind!"
"Run Quick-Foot Run!"
"Oh lord we are not gonna get any sleep tonight," Lance sighed. "Well Fred what do you suggest we do? Fred? Freddy?"
Lance looked around. "Where did he go? Fred?" He heard a noise coming from Fred's room. "Hey Fred! Come on out! What are you doin'? I need you out here!"
"Coming," Fred answered. Lance stood there in shock when he opened the door. Fred came out of his room wearing a huge safari outfit, a feathered headdress and war paint on his face. "Good thing Pietro made this for me," he said.
"Fred no! Not you too!" Lance groaned.
"Hey why not! Just go with the flow! C'mon it'll be fun!" he munched on a candy bar he had hidden in his room.
"No! I am not taking off my clothes and running around like a nutcase in the backyard!" Lance pouted.
"Suit yourself," Fred shrugged and lumbered off into the backyard. Lance stormed into his room and slammed the door. He threw himself on the bed and shut his eyes. It did nothing to drown out the sounds his friends made outside.
"Nope. Not gonna do it," he told himself. "If they wanna act like a bunch of retards and make fools outta themselves let 'em! I mean it's stupid. It's just plain stupid. Listen to them. Playing make believe like a bunch of five year olds. I'm living with a group of insane exhibitionists. That's it. I'm trapped. No wonder people at school treat me like a social outcast. It's 'cause of those three. Not that I would ever be caught dead with the so-called cool people but that is beside the point. I am the leader. I am supposed to set an example. I'm just gonna ignore them. Just sit here in my room and ignore them until they get it out of their system. That's what I'm gonna do all right. Yup. That's the only sane thing to do. Just ignore them. It's stupid anyway. Stupid game."
He sat there for a minute, pretending to fall asleep. He couldn't. "Oh what the hell," Lance sighed and started to remove his shirt.
A few hours later three figures were walking down the street in the direction of the Brotherhood house. "I can't believe you talked me into this," Rogue groaned.
"Look, we have to at least try," said Jean. "We seemed to connect last week when the Juggernaut attacked the Professor and Mystique. Maybe we can still talk some sense into them."
"I dunno Jean," Scott shrugged. "I don't think these guys are gonna go for it."
"Scott we have to give them a chance," Jean reasoned. "We never did ask Lance or Pietro to join us. And Toad got scared away. Maybe it won't work but at least we can say we tried everything before we have to fight them again."
"Okay okay," Scott surrendered. "If you really want to do this, we're here for you. Is this the place, Rogue?"
"Yup," she nodded. "That's it. Brrrr. Just seeing it gives me the willies. You guys have no idea what crazy stuff goes on in that house."
"Oh come on Rogue," Jean said as they walked up the stairs and rang the doorbell. "They're still kids just like us. I mean, it's not as if they're animals or anything. How bad could they be?"
Scott sniffed the air. "Does anybody smell smoke?"
"It's coming from the backyard," said Rogue. They went around back. They froze in their tracks when the backyard came into view.
"Oh my god…" Jean stammered.
The scene before them reminded Scott of the book Lord of the Flies. Around a huge bonfire, the Brotherhood was dancing around making wild noises. Most of them were wearing nothing but their underwear and what looked like war paint. Fred was the only one dressed for obvious reasons, but was wearing a safari suit and a fantastic feather headdress. He took a wooden picnic table and threw it on the bonfire with relish. Lance laughed and smashed a chair to pieces with joy before tossing it in. Todd was hopping about, using his tongue to catch every insect in sight. Pietro was baying at the moon.
They were so intent on what they were doing they didn't notice three figures running for their very lives away from the house.
"Ah told you they were crazy!" Rogue gasped. "But noooooooo you had to make us come here!"
"Well how was I supposed to know?" Jean whined.
"Shut up and run!" Scott yelped. "Jean, we are never, repeat, never going to try this again!"
"Don't worry we won't!"