A/N: Sorry ths has taken *such* a long time, folkies. It's just... (dignifed) I've been busy. So there. (sticks tongue out) I own *nothing* save Damy, Twinkles, and My grandfather. And the squib of a plant. Did you know I'm going to either get A.) prisoner of Azkaban today, or a sum of money equal to the amount able to buy it? Yeah, I'm excited too. Leon and Kain are squirming with antici- (waits a *long* time) -pation. Well, here's my lil disclaimer everyone likes.
Ron is just damn sexy,
Are violets really blue?
All I have is an imagination,
So please god, don't sue,
All, the guys in this are gay,
Except for Fred and George, anyway,
You don't like? One thing I have to say,
Then stay the hell away!
Peanut Butter and Chicken is really good,
And I'm making no money off this, tho I should,
These characters aren't mine,
And If J.K. found me using them like this, she'd come after me with a vine...
If you're a minor,
Or irresponsible and immature,
Stay away from this like you would a designer (What the hell???)
Cause I don't wanna warp young minds, for sure...
Laters,
Damy and his lazy, crackhead-ed muses.
P.S. people have been complaining about my Quatre/Duo muses, but, I let me explain to you... The original, 'Trowa/Quatre' Quatre muse is probably tired out because of all the authors out there with a regualrly paired Quatre muse. So there. And, *I* think they would go *perfect* together.
*************************************************************
Chaos at Hogwarts
Chapter... (gasps as lightning rolls in) 13!!! AKA, Fear, Plants, and Spowls
Do you know what true fear is? It's whenever something so bad happens, that you fear it, day in and day out, always scared of it, as it chases you throughout your thoughts, ever present. That is true fear. That is why *I* was so nasty, so mean, to everyone whenever I got angry. I had true fear. Fear that everyone was going to hate me again, fear that I would be raped again, all of that. It hangs over my soul like a drop of black cloth, sparkling like a seemingly innocent feld of stars, so pretty, so unhurting, from far away, but when you get up close... They burn you. Bad.
*************************************************************
A large green bulb was plastered in a corner, and vines were all over the house, stretching, twining everywhere. They wrapped around my ankles, and then, the plant lowered its head, and looked at me skeptically.
"You'll do. Shoulda done this *long* ago."
His viney tentacle shot out, and stroked my face, and went lower, and lower. I could smell the plant's breath on my face, and cringed. I was rooted to the spot, literally. It started laughging, and I recognized the voice as the unwelcome caresses got lower and lower and more violent.
It slammed into me like a rough push, and pure shock and realization hit me like a sledge hammer as I flew backwards into the door. Tall, gangly, raven-haired and greasy, standing before me in full technicolor unsavoriness, was Kevin. Doing the exact thing the plant had done. And, I couldn't move. I remembered he had put the whole body binding curse on me, and I just stood there, while he did those terrible things to me, helpless, as he grabbed me by my shoulders and pushed me onto his couch, turned me over, and... Did... that...
He had ripped off his clothes, and tore off my pants. When I felt his... erection... press against me, I woke up screaming.
*************************************************************
"AAAAAGGGHHH!!!!!!" I screamed, and my hair burst into flame as Madame Pomfrey zoomed like a marathon runner with a bottle of what looked like a dreamless sleeping drought. It looked like it was about midday, and she made me drink the entire oblet full of nastiness before I fell back asleep, into a deep, dark, comforting darkness that was so much like stars.
They both were comforting from afar, but upclose they were dangerous.
*************************************************************
"Damy, wake up."
"Too early mom. Too early."
"Wake up, Damy."
"Too early. Leave me alone."
"Hey."
"Is for horses."
"Get up, now."
"Don't wanna."
"Why not?"
"Headache. Annoying voice."
"Hey!" he said, hitting me.
"Is for horses." I said, again.
"You're getting on my nerves."
"Likewise." I said, then rolled over.
"Come on, get up, I have a surprise for you."
"Like?"
"Like getting some."
"What?"
"I have Twinkles."
"What? Is that your perverted expression for saying you're..." I said. Then, I said the next part with an Austin Powers drawl. "Horny, baby? Yeah."
"No, it's the spowl."
"What?"
"Why don't you see it."
I turned around nearly screamed at the sight of the offspring of Ron's owl and Missy's spider carrying a package that looked like a... Well... It looked like a... Uggh. It looked like a vibrator. Ron started laughing at me.
"Shut up! Who the hell is this from, anyway?"
My eyes slid from him to behind him, and I noticed that nearly *everyone* was in here. I closed my eyes, and started breathing in deep. Ron started laughng even harder at my sudden blush, and I noticed that everyone had shut up and was staring at the creature. More specifically, its package. Ron looked at everyone staring, and laughed even harder. Draco slid off Harry's lap and hit the floor. Fred's exploding snap card exploded half-way through laying down a card, and his hand was stuck in the air.
I sighed and prayed, and dragged that damn bird to me.
"Listen, Twinkles. Who's that package from?"
He pointed a talon thing at a note, and it said,
"To Damy, from Mom. I know you've needed this lately to relieve tension. Here you are."
Ron snatched the note, read it, cackled like an insane man, then passed it to everyone. I watched in horror and revulsion as everyone's eyebrows lifted. Finally, the intense silence was broken by one of the twns.
"You have a very screwed up home life, Damy."
My hair burst into flame, and I replied hotly.
"Shut up. This is definitely not normal for me!"
This scared twinkles away, however, and s/he took off. The package was still attachedd, however, so the bird creature flapped out the open window and the bottle slammed against the windowsill, ripping open the paackage in slow motion. I was *so* angry at Mom. My embarassment, however, would be doubled if it was actually *seen.* I jumped for it, and barely missed it. It slipped between my fingers, and rolled into the loose circle *everyone* had formed. I gasped, as it completely unwrapped, and stopped right in the middle of the circle.
It was only a bottle of oil. My hair went out immediately. Twinkles flew back in unexpectedly, and perched next to me as I grabbed for the oil. Sirius Black had spoken up.
"Lube, eh, Damy?" He said, twinkle in his eyes.
"No! It's stress relief oil. I have a wicked temper. It runs in the family." I said, a bit snobbily, before I opened it and inhaled the St. John's Wort smell deeply.
"That's better."
I had calmed down considerably, and then, Missy strode in eating what looked like a thinking sandwich. Tomato and mayonnaise. I myself didn't care for it too much, but I was scheming to get it, because I had seemingly been out of it all day, without *any* food. Missy sat down next to me, and asked me if I was okay.
"Yeah."
"Okay." She said, before Fred and George had walked over to my cot and sat chairs down. She was happily chatting with them, and, meanwhiles, I had grabbed her sandwich from her. Munching happily, I didn't notice Angelina Johnson had come up behind Missy.
The next thing I knew, there was a loud *slap* sound, and Missy was holding her reddened face, and a very pissed Gryffindor girl was walking away. Missy broke down, and we all comforted her. then, we were interrupted by a large flourish.
A man that looked suspiciously like Harry strolled into the room, along with a woman that looked suspiciously like Missy's mother. I gasped as it all sank into place. Well, you know the rest by now, so... I should skp to an important part.
*************************************************************
"Okay... So if you are Harry's dad, and you are Missy's mom then... Voldemort was unsuccesful, and that means he's only mortal, am I correct?" I sad irritably, and Ron looked at me.
He handed me my oil as soon as my hair burst into flame, causing Missy's Mother, and James to jump. inhaled it deeply, and it died down immediately.
"I'm just *really* confused, folks. And Sirius, you say that you're Missy's dad?"
He nodded at me, and my hair flared up again. I inhaled some oil, and it died down weakly.
"Neville... You are going out with dear Ronald's older brother Percy?"
"Yes. I suppose..."
I turned my head towards Hermione.
"And you say that you're going out with Ginny, Ron's little sister?"
"Yes." Ginny nodded as well.
My hair did it's thing again, and I was getting angry. The deep inhalations were not helping.
"Fuck it!" I yelled, and I just opened the bottle all the way, poured some on my hands, and rubbed it into my hair and face.
"That's a little better. Now, Harry, you say that you and Draco have *finally* hooked up?"
He nodded, and turned slightly green at the expressions on Sirius' and James' face.
"Now, James... Please tell me that *you* do not have anything going on with Professor Lupin."
"NO!" he said, a little bit too loudly. Everyone glanced at him, and he shrugged. Harry's eyebrow raised at his Dad, and then, he ran over and gave him a big hug, then returned to being Draco's chair.
"You okay, Damy?" Ron asked, and Seamus was about to say something about *our* relationship, when a large //WHOOSH// of flames appeared in the middle of the room, and Grandpa walked out of it.
He was wearing a large green ring that contrasted with *everything* about him, and he was so excited he was bouncing on his heels. His hair was dancing merrily, waves of fire *everywhere*, and his eyes were shining with a boyish mirth.
"Damy, guess what? I just found ole Spring-heel, and he proposed!!!"
He flashed his ring, and then he noticed the entire room became silent.
"What?"
He turned around slowly, and surveyed *everyone* in the room. They were all silent. James, Sirius, and Missy's mother took a step backwards.
"What?"
James was the first to regain his voice.
"Who... WHo are you?"
"Damien Scorpius Riddle, m'boy. New Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher. How's everyone doing? I just got proposed to!" he squealed merrily, and walked towards my cot.
"What happened to you?"
"Fight with a plant that tried to eat me. I've been out all day. And who proposed to you, Grandpa?"
"Spring-heeled jack!"
I nearly fainted on the spot. Okay... I knew my Grandpa had a thing for guys... But to... Actually... Be engaged to one... I layed back down, and Ron sat a little closer to me. We both had a silent agreement to keep quiet about our relationship.
"Come on, Jackie! Come and see your new Step-Great-grandson!" Grandpa said merrily, and I watched, amazed, as he bounced into the Infirmary through an open window.
He was *very* good looking. He was dressed in a tight, white, oilskin costume that showed off *every* bit. He had on a blue mask, and a horribly clashing black cape. Seamus suddenly spoke up.
"Damn!" he said, and went off into a song he had composed earlier. I myself had overheard it, and it was *quite* funny.
"Damn, that boy is fine,
His face is just divine,
He sends chills down my spine,
I wish he was mine...
"Oooowee,
Seeexy,
I wish he could beee,
Wiiiiith meee!
"Damn, that boy is fine,
His face is just divine,
He sends chills down my spine,
I wish he was mine...
"He is so hot,
It's just something that he's got,
His looks hit the spot,
For him I would get shot!
"It's just thaaat,
"Damn, that boy is fine,
His face is just divine,
He sends chills down my spine,
I wish he was mine..."
Everyone was shocked into silence by *that* one. Grandpa patted my back, before he and Spring-Heel jumped out the window. I just shook my head, and nodded slowly.
"Well... that was my Grandpa, folks. Yes, he's *really* messed up. And a demon. Where did you thnk got my hair?" I asked Missy's mother, at her quizzical expression.
*************************************************************
Ron straddled my hips, and was sitting on my lap. He had his curtain drawn, and we were in the complete privacy of an apartment.
"So? Feeling better?"
He ground his rear into my groin, and I blushed, and pulled away.
"Oy, such physical reactions!" he said, teasing, and he started moving back and forth.
"God, Ron... I'm... fine..."
"I can see!" he said, laughing, and started doing it even more.
"Stop, Ron."
"Are you sure?" he said, rocking back and forth even more.
"Yeah. I'm not ready." I said, kind of pompously.
"Good for you." he said, and, with a final slide, he slid himself off my lap, and fell. His eyes fell to my pants, and he blushed.
"Wow."
"Huh?"
I looked down, and started blushing.
"That's... Wow."
"Let's just go to sleep, Ron."
"Okay. Are you sure? You don't wanna do anything else tonight?"
"Nope. Except dream."
He snorted, and lay down next to me, hand over my waist.
"Well, you can have your dreams. Love you." he said, laughingly.
"Love you too."
And we snuggled.
*************************************************************
That night, I had the same dream I had earlier in the infirmary. But this time, Kevin was knocked out by Ron, and Ron hugged me, ending my nightmare.
Ron is just damn sexy,
Are violets really blue?
All I have is an imagination,
So please god, don't sue,
All, the guys in this are gay,
Except for Fred and George, anyway,
You don't like? One thing I have to say,
Then stay the hell away!
Peanut Butter and Chicken is really good,
And I'm making no money off this, tho I should,
These characters aren't mine,
And If J.K. found me using them like this, she'd come after me with a vine...
If you're a minor,
Or irresponsible and immature,
Stay away from this like you would a designer (What the hell???)
Cause I don't wanna warp young minds, for sure...
Laters,
Damy and his lazy, crackhead-ed muses.
P.S. people have been complaining about my Quatre/Duo muses, but, I let me explain to you... The original, 'Trowa/Quatre' Quatre muse is probably tired out because of all the authors out there with a regualrly paired Quatre muse. So there. And, *I* think they would go *perfect* together.
*************************************************************
Chaos at Hogwarts
Chapter... (gasps as lightning rolls in) 13!!! AKA, Fear, Plants, and Spowls
Do you know what true fear is? It's whenever something so bad happens, that you fear it, day in and day out, always scared of it, as it chases you throughout your thoughts, ever present. That is true fear. That is why *I* was so nasty, so mean, to everyone whenever I got angry. I had true fear. Fear that everyone was going to hate me again, fear that I would be raped again, all of that. It hangs over my soul like a drop of black cloth, sparkling like a seemingly innocent feld of stars, so pretty, so unhurting, from far away, but when you get up close... They burn you. Bad.
*************************************************************
A large green bulb was plastered in a corner, and vines were all over the house, stretching, twining everywhere. They wrapped around my ankles, and then, the plant lowered its head, and looked at me skeptically.
"You'll do. Shoulda done this *long* ago."
His viney tentacle shot out, and stroked my face, and went lower, and lower. I could smell the plant's breath on my face, and cringed. I was rooted to the spot, literally. It started laughging, and I recognized the voice as the unwelcome caresses got lower and lower and more violent.
It slammed into me like a rough push, and pure shock and realization hit me like a sledge hammer as I flew backwards into the door. Tall, gangly, raven-haired and greasy, standing before me in full technicolor unsavoriness, was Kevin. Doing the exact thing the plant had done. And, I couldn't move. I remembered he had put the whole body binding curse on me, and I just stood there, while he did those terrible things to me, helpless, as he grabbed me by my shoulders and pushed me onto his couch, turned me over, and... Did... that...
He had ripped off his clothes, and tore off my pants. When I felt his... erection... press against me, I woke up screaming.
*************************************************************
"AAAAAGGGHHH!!!!!!" I screamed, and my hair burst into flame as Madame Pomfrey zoomed like a marathon runner with a bottle of what looked like a dreamless sleeping drought. It looked like it was about midday, and she made me drink the entire oblet full of nastiness before I fell back asleep, into a deep, dark, comforting darkness that was so much like stars.
They both were comforting from afar, but upclose they were dangerous.
*************************************************************
"Damy, wake up."
"Too early mom. Too early."
"Wake up, Damy."
"Too early. Leave me alone."
"Hey."
"Is for horses."
"Get up, now."
"Don't wanna."
"Why not?"
"Headache. Annoying voice."
"Hey!" he said, hitting me.
"Is for horses." I said, again.
"You're getting on my nerves."
"Likewise." I said, then rolled over.
"Come on, get up, I have a surprise for you."
"Like?"
"Like getting some."
"What?"
"I have Twinkles."
"What? Is that your perverted expression for saying you're..." I said. Then, I said the next part with an Austin Powers drawl. "Horny, baby? Yeah."
"No, it's the spowl."
"What?"
"Why don't you see it."
I turned around nearly screamed at the sight of the offspring of Ron's owl and Missy's spider carrying a package that looked like a... Well... It looked like a... Uggh. It looked like a vibrator. Ron started laughing at me.
"Shut up! Who the hell is this from, anyway?"
My eyes slid from him to behind him, and I noticed that nearly *everyone* was in here. I closed my eyes, and started breathing in deep. Ron started laughng even harder at my sudden blush, and I noticed that everyone had shut up and was staring at the creature. More specifically, its package. Ron looked at everyone staring, and laughed even harder. Draco slid off Harry's lap and hit the floor. Fred's exploding snap card exploded half-way through laying down a card, and his hand was stuck in the air.
I sighed and prayed, and dragged that damn bird to me.
"Listen, Twinkles. Who's that package from?"
He pointed a talon thing at a note, and it said,
"To Damy, from Mom. I know you've needed this lately to relieve tension. Here you are."
Ron snatched the note, read it, cackled like an insane man, then passed it to everyone. I watched in horror and revulsion as everyone's eyebrows lifted. Finally, the intense silence was broken by one of the twns.
"You have a very screwed up home life, Damy."
My hair burst into flame, and I replied hotly.
"Shut up. This is definitely not normal for me!"
This scared twinkles away, however, and s/he took off. The package was still attachedd, however, so the bird creature flapped out the open window and the bottle slammed against the windowsill, ripping open the paackage in slow motion. I was *so* angry at Mom. My embarassment, however, would be doubled if it was actually *seen.* I jumped for it, and barely missed it. It slipped between my fingers, and rolled into the loose circle *everyone* had formed. I gasped, as it completely unwrapped, and stopped right in the middle of the circle.
It was only a bottle of oil. My hair went out immediately. Twinkles flew back in unexpectedly, and perched next to me as I grabbed for the oil. Sirius Black had spoken up.
"Lube, eh, Damy?" He said, twinkle in his eyes.
"No! It's stress relief oil. I have a wicked temper. It runs in the family." I said, a bit snobbily, before I opened it and inhaled the St. John's Wort smell deeply.
"That's better."
I had calmed down considerably, and then, Missy strode in eating what looked like a thinking sandwich. Tomato and mayonnaise. I myself didn't care for it too much, but I was scheming to get it, because I had seemingly been out of it all day, without *any* food. Missy sat down next to me, and asked me if I was okay.
"Yeah."
"Okay." She said, before Fred and George had walked over to my cot and sat chairs down. She was happily chatting with them, and, meanwhiles, I had grabbed her sandwich from her. Munching happily, I didn't notice Angelina Johnson had come up behind Missy.
The next thing I knew, there was a loud *slap* sound, and Missy was holding her reddened face, and a very pissed Gryffindor girl was walking away. Missy broke down, and we all comforted her. then, we were interrupted by a large flourish.
A man that looked suspiciously like Harry strolled into the room, along with a woman that looked suspiciously like Missy's mother. I gasped as it all sank into place. Well, you know the rest by now, so... I should skp to an important part.
*************************************************************
"Okay... So if you are Harry's dad, and you are Missy's mom then... Voldemort was unsuccesful, and that means he's only mortal, am I correct?" I sad irritably, and Ron looked at me.
He handed me my oil as soon as my hair burst into flame, causing Missy's Mother, and James to jump. inhaled it deeply, and it died down immediately.
"I'm just *really* confused, folks. And Sirius, you say that you're Missy's dad?"
He nodded at me, and my hair flared up again. I inhaled some oil, and it died down weakly.
"Neville... You are going out with dear Ronald's older brother Percy?"
"Yes. I suppose..."
I turned my head towards Hermione.
"And you say that you're going out with Ginny, Ron's little sister?"
"Yes." Ginny nodded as well.
My hair did it's thing again, and I was getting angry. The deep inhalations were not helping.
"Fuck it!" I yelled, and I just opened the bottle all the way, poured some on my hands, and rubbed it into my hair and face.
"That's a little better. Now, Harry, you say that you and Draco have *finally* hooked up?"
He nodded, and turned slightly green at the expressions on Sirius' and James' face.
"Now, James... Please tell me that *you* do not have anything going on with Professor Lupin."
"NO!" he said, a little bit too loudly. Everyone glanced at him, and he shrugged. Harry's eyebrow raised at his Dad, and then, he ran over and gave him a big hug, then returned to being Draco's chair.
"You okay, Damy?" Ron asked, and Seamus was about to say something about *our* relationship, when a large //WHOOSH// of flames appeared in the middle of the room, and Grandpa walked out of it.
He was wearing a large green ring that contrasted with *everything* about him, and he was so excited he was bouncing on his heels. His hair was dancing merrily, waves of fire *everywhere*, and his eyes were shining with a boyish mirth.
"Damy, guess what? I just found ole Spring-heel, and he proposed!!!"
He flashed his ring, and then he noticed the entire room became silent.
"What?"
He turned around slowly, and surveyed *everyone* in the room. They were all silent. James, Sirius, and Missy's mother took a step backwards.
"What?"
James was the first to regain his voice.
"Who... WHo are you?"
"Damien Scorpius Riddle, m'boy. New Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher. How's everyone doing? I just got proposed to!" he squealed merrily, and walked towards my cot.
"What happened to you?"
"Fight with a plant that tried to eat me. I've been out all day. And who proposed to you, Grandpa?"
"Spring-heeled jack!"
I nearly fainted on the spot. Okay... I knew my Grandpa had a thing for guys... But to... Actually... Be engaged to one... I layed back down, and Ron sat a little closer to me. We both had a silent agreement to keep quiet about our relationship.
"Come on, Jackie! Come and see your new Step-Great-grandson!" Grandpa said merrily, and I watched, amazed, as he bounced into the Infirmary through an open window.
He was *very* good looking. He was dressed in a tight, white, oilskin costume that showed off *every* bit. He had on a blue mask, and a horribly clashing black cape. Seamus suddenly spoke up.
"Damn!" he said, and went off into a song he had composed earlier. I myself had overheard it, and it was *quite* funny.
"Damn, that boy is fine,
His face is just divine,
He sends chills down my spine,
I wish he was mine...
"Oooowee,
Seeexy,
I wish he could beee,
Wiiiiith meee!
"Damn, that boy is fine,
His face is just divine,
He sends chills down my spine,
I wish he was mine...
"He is so hot,
It's just something that he's got,
His looks hit the spot,
For him I would get shot!
"It's just thaaat,
"Damn, that boy is fine,
His face is just divine,
He sends chills down my spine,
I wish he was mine..."
Everyone was shocked into silence by *that* one. Grandpa patted my back, before he and Spring-Heel jumped out the window. I just shook my head, and nodded slowly.
"Well... that was my Grandpa, folks. Yes, he's *really* messed up. And a demon. Where did you thnk got my hair?" I asked Missy's mother, at her quizzical expression.
*************************************************************
Ron straddled my hips, and was sitting on my lap. He had his curtain drawn, and we were in the complete privacy of an apartment.
"So? Feeling better?"
He ground his rear into my groin, and I blushed, and pulled away.
"Oy, such physical reactions!" he said, teasing, and he started moving back and forth.
"God, Ron... I'm... fine..."
"I can see!" he said, laughing, and started doing it even more.
"Stop, Ron."
"Are you sure?" he said, rocking back and forth even more.
"Yeah. I'm not ready." I said, kind of pompously.
"Good for you." he said, and, with a final slide, he slid himself off my lap, and fell. His eyes fell to my pants, and he blushed.
"Wow."
"Huh?"
I looked down, and started blushing.
"That's... Wow."
"Let's just go to sleep, Ron."
"Okay. Are you sure? You don't wanna do anything else tonight?"
"Nope. Except dream."
He snorted, and lay down next to me, hand over my waist.
"Well, you can have your dreams. Love you." he said, laughingly.
"Love you too."
And we snuggled.
*************************************************************
That night, I had the same dream I had earlier in the infirmary. But this time, Kevin was knocked out by Ron, and Ron hugged me, ending my nightmare.