Chapter 3: A Strange Morning
Nearly ten years had passed since the Hurlies had found Harry on their doorstep. That one dreadful morning they awoke, and yet, Harry could remember aunt Petunia... "Holy shit!" That's all he could remember... The sun crept from the horizon, working it's way up to the front door of #4, Private Part Drive. It began sliding into the living room and up the stairs. Soon it was spreading throughout the house and the Hurlies all woke up! Pudgy came rampaging down the stairs like the Incredible Hulk while Mrs. Petroleum Hurly cooked a fresh breakfast of scrambled eggs and undercooked hamburger meat. Harry's Uncle Vernun read the newspaper.
Mrs. Hurly walked over to the cupboard and went silent for a minute. Then suddenly she started to pound and scream at Harry's little cupboard door...
"Wake up you miserable brat!! Don't make me yell!! I want you out of bed this instant, I'll make sure you don't get any hamburger meat... WAKE UP! WAKE UP! WAKE UP!!" She clapped and snapped her fingers, like gee-willaburs and kept pounding the door.
"Alright!! I heard you the first time!" hollered Harry Pothead from inside his cupboard. He got dressed into Pudgy's old clothes and came out. He saw his aunt, uncle and cousin sitting at the table already, eating breakfast. A small little plate for him, with a spoonfull of undercooked hamburger meat, and a piece of uncooked egg yolk. A half glass of stale iron water was also prepared.
"Eat up Pudgy, we're going to the zoo today!" said Uncle Vernun. It was Pudgy's birthday this particular day, and that meant he would be gone with his parents. Harry would be sent to old Mrs. Smellitoze, the nextdoor neighbour... He hated her, her smelly house and killer dog... He always got bit by the dog and he always went to the hospital, still, the Hurlies enjoyed it when he went there. They always hoped he would be killed.
Harry sat sown and ate up. Suddenly the phone rang. Mrs. Hurly picked up, answered, doddled, talked and hung up. She frowned and gave Harry a beam. She was pissed.
"That was Mrs. Smellitoze, she broke her leg while walking her dog... Damn old timers... Always being stupid..." explained Petroleum. Then uncle vernun put on a frown... The Pudgy. They were all mad at Harry.
"I suppose... We gotta leave the boy here." Said Vernun.
"Are you mad?!" hollered Petroleum. "Remember last time? He almost burnt the house down!! We will find another babysitter!!"
Mrs. Hurly phoned about 13 different people, never getting hold of any... She frowned some more, and called another 13 people... There were no babysitters for poor ol' Harry. Harry snickered,this meant he was going to the zoo!! If all went well they wouldn't even yell at him AT the zoo because it was a public place! Harry was overjoyed. Suddenly the phone slammed onto the receiver.
"LOOK BOY... We're ALL going to the zoo, if YOU spoil it, I'LL MAKE SURE you never see the outside AGAIN!!" Uncle Vernun was enraged. He hollered and yelled. "What a friggin moron!" Harry thought to himself. He wandered deep into thought and ignored the fat man's complaints. It wasn't over 'till the fat man screamed like a 12 year old girl...
"And another thing... IF I HEAR ONE WORD!! I'LL MAKE SURE YOUR MISERABLE FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE!!" Uncle Vernun screamed like a 12 year old girl. It was over. Harry got ready, he put on his nicest clothes (which were actually Pudgy's old ragged baggy pants and ugly cape) and shoes that were almost too small to fit him. Life was good.
At half past 2, Pudgy's best friend, Pee Nusguy, arrived. He was wearing really tight clothes and had a grin on his face. He was usually the kid who stood behind the helpless child that Pudgy would punch at school... Harry swore he saw the kid get a boner over another boy atleast 4 times! He was definitly gay.
"Alright, we're off to the zoo now!" Uncle Vernun chuckled. They all got in the car, with Harry crammed in the middle. Vernun gave him a beaming look or reassurance and they drove towards the downtown.
Nearly ten years had passed since the Hurlies had found Harry on their doorstep. That one dreadful morning they awoke, and yet, Harry could remember aunt Petunia... "Holy shit!" That's all he could remember... The sun crept from the horizon, working it's way up to the front door of #4, Private Part Drive. It began sliding into the living room and up the stairs. Soon it was spreading throughout the house and the Hurlies all woke up! Pudgy came rampaging down the stairs like the Incredible Hulk while Mrs. Petroleum Hurly cooked a fresh breakfast of scrambled eggs and undercooked hamburger meat. Harry's Uncle Vernun read the newspaper.
Mrs. Hurly walked over to the cupboard and went silent for a minute. Then suddenly she started to pound and scream at Harry's little cupboard door...
"Wake up you miserable brat!! Don't make me yell!! I want you out of bed this instant, I'll make sure you don't get any hamburger meat... WAKE UP! WAKE UP! WAKE UP!!" She clapped and snapped her fingers, like gee-willaburs and kept pounding the door.
"Alright!! I heard you the first time!" hollered Harry Pothead from inside his cupboard. He got dressed into Pudgy's old clothes and came out. He saw his aunt, uncle and cousin sitting at the table already, eating breakfast. A small little plate for him, with a spoonfull of undercooked hamburger meat, and a piece of uncooked egg yolk. A half glass of stale iron water was also prepared.
"Eat up Pudgy, we're going to the zoo today!" said Uncle Vernun. It was Pudgy's birthday this particular day, and that meant he would be gone with his parents. Harry would be sent to old Mrs. Smellitoze, the nextdoor neighbour... He hated her, her smelly house and killer dog... He always got bit by the dog and he always went to the hospital, still, the Hurlies enjoyed it when he went there. They always hoped he would be killed.
Harry sat sown and ate up. Suddenly the phone rang. Mrs. Hurly picked up, answered, doddled, talked and hung up. She frowned and gave Harry a beam. She was pissed.
"That was Mrs. Smellitoze, she broke her leg while walking her dog... Damn old timers... Always being stupid..." explained Petroleum. Then uncle vernun put on a frown... The Pudgy. They were all mad at Harry.
"I suppose... We gotta leave the boy here." Said Vernun.
"Are you mad?!" hollered Petroleum. "Remember last time? He almost burnt the house down!! We will find another babysitter!!"
Mrs. Hurly phoned about 13 different people, never getting hold of any... She frowned some more, and called another 13 people... There were no babysitters for poor ol' Harry. Harry snickered,this meant he was going to the zoo!! If all went well they wouldn't even yell at him AT the zoo because it was a public place! Harry was overjoyed. Suddenly the phone slammed onto the receiver.
"LOOK BOY... We're ALL going to the zoo, if YOU spoil it, I'LL MAKE SURE you never see the outside AGAIN!!" Uncle Vernun was enraged. He hollered and yelled. "What a friggin moron!" Harry thought to himself. He wandered deep into thought and ignored the fat man's complaints. It wasn't over 'till the fat man screamed like a 12 year old girl...
"And another thing... IF I HEAR ONE WORD!! I'LL MAKE SURE YOUR MISERABLE FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE!!" Uncle Vernun screamed like a 12 year old girl. It was over. Harry got ready, he put on his nicest clothes (which were actually Pudgy's old ragged baggy pants and ugly cape) and shoes that were almost too small to fit him. Life was good.
At half past 2, Pudgy's best friend, Pee Nusguy, arrived. He was wearing really tight clothes and had a grin on his face. He was usually the kid who stood behind the helpless child that Pudgy would punch at school... Harry swore he saw the kid get a boner over another boy atleast 4 times! He was definitly gay.
"Alright, we're off to the zoo now!" Uncle Vernun chuckled. They all got in the car, with Harry crammed in the middle. Vernun gave him a beaming look or reassurance and they drove towards the downtown.