The Deep End: Chapter 5
By aznJEDI13
Stop making me feel bad
I'm the best thing you ever had
The only thing I'm guilty of
Is giving you too much love
She was on cloud nine. Her head was swirling with omniscient thoughts. She was walking on air and feeling a thousand emotions at once, all thanks to the soft lips of one man, all thanks to his charms, wit, and handsome delicate features.
Her heart skipped a beat whenever she thought of him now and the brush of his lips against her own. She found herself lapsing into self-consciousness as she roamed the halls of the transport. Thinking of him and only him. She dreamed of running her fingers through the soft curls of golden lockets and feeling his strong vibrant arms around her once again.
She entered her quarters ready to lapsed into those fantasizes.
Then she saw the movement in the shadows. She screamed. The figure looked at her, his movements flustered and unsure, incompetent and tense. He was dressed in black and only black. Vividly she saw the pinkish flesh color, but her view was limited. He jerked farther into the dark, unsure if she had really saw him or not.
His face was colored with a black mask with slits for his eyes, small space for his nostrils and a thin line for his lips. She licked her own lips. Feeling her heart beat heavily; all thoughts of Anakin had left her as she focused on the invader.
She screamed again realizing he was real.
She shuddered, her hand instinctually going to her chest to clutch the hand made pendant. Seeing the brief flash of metal against the dim light, she shivered even more.
The first word out of her lips was not in the monotone voice of Queen Amidala; the voice that came out was much more tender and much more herself. Trembling, her voice was a whisper as she spoke a word she had not realized she had said, "Anakin."
The figure across the room tensed for a second, "He cannot hear you."
His voice; once calm and gentle, was now coarse and evil filled with tendrils of fear; paralyzing fear. She wanted to run, she wanted to hide, she had to get away; but she couldn't.
"How did you get in here?" she demanded, her Amidala voice back once more.
He laughed an evil laugh and spoke, "You don't suppose that I could stay away from you forever." He walked closer to her but she was frozen in her place. He reached out and cupped her chin with his hand. His voice tried to be gentle but ultimately failed, as he spoke, "Who cannot resist such beauty?"
His accent was familiar, but now awkward to his vile charms. His movements were fluid, but dreadful and instinctively frightening, much too incompetent. She knew now that he was gone - gone forever.
Finally, she was able to push him away, he looked hurt by her reaction, but she did not deny her actions, "Don't flatter me with your vile charms."
Hurt awash his face for a split second and then came back his cold anger and the tendrils of fear. His black cape swooshed as he took his hand away from her chin and then came back again to slap her face.
But his hand stopped right before flesh hit flesh.
She didn't realize she had been holding a breath until she let it out.
"You use to love my charms, Amidala."
"Obviously they don't woo me anymore."
His hand came up again, but then fell back to his side and he spoke his anger visible, "Don't make me inflict pain I do not wish on you."
"Perhaps it would be better if you did. Then the little boy you left behind will hate you more."
He laughed again sending shivers up her spine. "It would be better," he leaned down and whispered in his ear, "Then he can join me."
She laughed, once again regaining her royal air, "But I would not allow his destruction."
He looked at her; "You would have the apprentice when you can have the master?"
Her eyes darted with challenged; she spat as she spoke, "Why would I want the master? He is nothing but pure filth."
His cape swooshed with his fluid movements; "My master will not be pleased with you."
Silence.
"Tell him I have no wish to cooperate."
He looked at her, for a second she saw his eyes and then he turned away from her.
Silence.
Suddenly he reached out and grabbed the pendant she had released; "He is not a boy anymore. He does not need someone to watch over him."
"He needs a mentor -- his master." She whispered.
"I was never a mentor. He will always be that scrubby little brat Qui-Gon made me take."
"Is that why you despise him so much? It angers you that Qui-Gon wanted him as bad as he wanted you."
He pulled the pendant off her neck and it fell to the floor. She flinched as it broke into different pieces on the cold silver floor.
"He is everything…" he looked away as he spoke, wearing a horrible expression of anger and jealousy.
She finished the unfinished sentence for him, "You wanted to be."
Silence.
The brown pieces of wood with Anakin's hand carving began to shrink more and more. She looked and saw his hand in a tight fist and a snarl on his evil lips. He spoke in a monotone voice.
"You love him."
Pause.
"And it angers me."
And all that was left of her precious japer snippet was tiny wood shavings littered on the cold metal floor.
What's the use in you denying that what we had was wrong
She stood aghast and astonished.
How could he do such a thing? Only he would take one of her most precious possessions and destroy it. Only he could be filled with such vile and filth. It was only he who she wanted to run from.
"How could you?" she asked in a sharp whisper. She glared, shooting lightening from her eyes, "How could you, Obi-Wan?"
"Do not call me that name. It has no meaning."
Silence.
"Is it not the name your mother gave you when she bore you? Then is it not your name?" she asked poker-faced.
He played her game with enjoyment, "Is it not the name of the man you once loved, Padme? Or the name of the master of the man you love?"
Silence.
"Must we be brought back to this subject once again?" She asked.
"I love you Padme, do not deny it." he said it so bluntly with so much assurance it made her cringe.
"Love me? How can you love me if you destroyed the one thing most dear to me."
"No…" his voice faded, "Anakin still lives…for now."
Silence.
"You will not harm him."
His eyes narrowed, "I will unless I do not get what I want."
"You wouldn't. He is almost your own flesh and blood."
"Blood and flesh I hate with every breath I take."
"Then damn you." She spat.
His face changed to a look of disgust, he gripped her arm tightly, "Must you convict my sins though they are not my undoing?"
"How can you say that you want to betray a boy that touched the core of your soul?"
A regretful silence filled the air.
"It is my master's bidding to kill the Chosen One."
"Then damn him."
"And it is it…" His voice faded.
She shied away from him, knowing the words before they were spoken out of him mouth.
"His bidding that you join me."
She closed her eyes. Shielding her from the singed tears and overwhelming emotions. Then she spoke in a sad tone, "I cannot."
He reached a gloved hand towards her cheek and brushed away a loose tear and then spoke in an equally soft tone, "I know." His voice faded, "But it will be your undoing."
Silence; an awful silence filled with awkwardness and fright.
The creature that was now Obi-Wan, pulled his hand away from her face finally as if remembering if it was there still.
And then his spoke, in a sad wistful tone that made her heart break. He asked the one question that tore her heart in two. The one question that could build up walls and break barriers. The one question she had always been dreading.
When he asked, she could no longer hold her own and she collapsed. His words so clear and so potent you could hazily see the vile filth that clouded his emotions. Her heart was shattered into a million pieces all over again.
"Do you regret loving me, Amidala?"
She shut her eyes. Her heart crying out the name of the man that now held the key. She prayed he heard her and saved her before she met her doom.
Anakin…
"Answer me, Amidala…do you regret loving me?"
And she could not respond for she already knew the answer. She knew the answer as clear as her reflection in the mirror. As clear as the dreamy look in Anakin's eyes. As clear as water from a stream.
He knew her response and she did not have time resist before his coarse hand hit her soft cheek and chilled blood ran to the floor. She collapsed.
The dark figure looked down at her, "You're going to wish you loved me."
She mumbled, "How could I regret loving a monster like you when I have a prince to protect me?"
She saw the flash of his red lightsaber and she closed her eyes shut once more in utter fright.
And her heart cried once more, Anakin, help me…
It helps you out, knowing I'm left out
Locked in a box with a light that won't shine
"Ah, young Skywalker,"
Anakin bowed humbly in reverence, "Prince Organa,"
Organa shook his hand profusely, speaking in a royal Alderannian accent, "Don't," he paused slightly, "It's not offend we host a hero."
The two shook hands over the sweet melody of Anakin's laugh.
Anakin robust voice spoke, "I'm sorry we have to leave so soon, your highness."
Bail shook his head and laughed, before playfully punching Anakin on the shoulder, "Haven't I told you to stop calling me that?"
"I never learn."
"I can tell. Do you know the way to Queen Amidala's room?"
"Yes this way, I can take you." Anakin motioned for Bail to walk with him and he happily agreed to follow.
"Thank you,"
"My pleasure." Anakin replied.
They walked in silence for a few minutes.
"What brings you to see the Queen?" Anakin asked curiously.
Bail struggled for a second with his answer and then spoke confidently, "I come to ask the Queen for her hand in marriage."
Anakin choked. His voice cracked as he spoke, "What?"
They turned the corner to Amidala's room. Bail ignored Anakin's questions and changed the subject instead; it was too uncomfortable for him. He spoke quietly, "You should have left sooner now that I think of it."
With the news not yet sunk into his brain, Anakin looked at him quizzically, "What makes you say that?"
"The Emperor's new pet is looking for the Queen, if my memory serves me correctly."
"Yes..."
They turned and faced the door to Amidala's room. The young prince continued speaking, "I'm afraid I've let my attraction towards the Queen get the best of me. I should've let you leave sooner. And then he came--"
"He?" Anakin asked.
"Yes," Bail fidgeted nervously, avoiding Anakin's eyes, "I'm sorry Anakin."
Don't you know I feel the darkness closing in
The beam seared through the air, the humming noise grew louder in her ear. She shut her eyes.
To hide the fear. To hide the agony. To hide that fact that she would give him satisfaction.
She wanted to scream, but her voice was raw and caught in her throat. She wanted to cry, but the tears would just not come out. They were stuck somewhere between fear and agony.
She wondered; would it hurt? Would it sting? What would it feel like? What does it feel like to get cut into a million pieces by a small beam of searing laser?
She held her eyes shut waiting for the tingling sensations and the raw pain.
But it never came.
She opened her eyes to see two beams batting each other. The distinct hum a gentle comfort to her aching body. She smiled, contented feelings before she lapsed into unconsciousness.
Visions began to cloud her mind then.
She forgot where reality left off and the surreal began.
She was standing in a corridor, a dark mechanical breathing noise behind her, next to her, all around her. But she could not scream and she could not run. The noise grew louder and louder.
She turned and she was someplace else.
Children ran through the grassy fields filled with flowers, smiling contently, laughing placidly. She watched on, walking towards the kids. Her arms spread out and they enveloped her in a hug. She laughed.
But when she put them down, they were gone.
The grassy field filled with flowers gone.
She was in a dark room lit by candle. Soft music playing in the background and dim light behind her. A canopy bed was in front of her. The door open and then shut softly. Two hands gripped her shoulders. They were rough and coarse, but gentle and serene. Fire burned through his fingers.
He kissed the top of her head.
She turned to kiss his mouth and screamed. He was a not a man, he was not human. She was somewhere else again. She was in that dark corridor once more. "Amidala…"
She screamed again and ran. "Amidala!"
She turned her head at the sound of her name and ran right into it. Whatever it was.
"Amidala…"
It gripped her. The mechanical breathing sound ringing through the core of her eardrums and making her heart beat faster. Suddenly it pulled out its lightsaber and…
"Amidala, please…" Her eyes opened to his voice and then she realized she was not there or wherever she had been anymore.
Her head was cradled gently in his lap. His warm sky-blue eyes looked down at her worriedly. He was bloody and bruised. A small stream of blood flew down the side of his head and there was a deep bluish-purple mark on his cheek. He smiled faintly, "Hey sleeping beauty, you're up." Then he kissed the top of her forehead.
It was that minute she realized how dashing and roguish he really was. He was really quite beautiful.
"What happened?" She asked.
He lightly touched her arm, "Obi-Wan. We fought, we dueled…"
She put the back of her hand on his cheek; "You saved me."
"I had no choice…I'm sorry…"
She pulled her hand back, as if burned, "Sorry about what? What happened to Obi-Wan?"
She sat up slowly, wincing at the pain slightly, "Amidala please, you're in no condition…"
She held up her hand, silencing him, "Don't talk, please."
She leaned forward and kissed him. When they pulled away, she kept her forehead on his, "Please, Ani, don't talk."
He kissed her again, this time more passionate then the last time.
Then he pulled away, looking quite shameful and bashful. He looked like a little boy that had been caught stealing candy.
She reached for his chin and made him face her, "What happened?"
He shook his head.
She stood up.
He closed his eyes. He could feel her move through the room.
Then she saw it.
And screamed.
To the MHS Class of '04 -- You've made it. Freshmen year's over.
You figured me out -- I'm lost and I'm hopeless
bleeding and broken -- though I've never spoken
I come undone -- in this mad season
Her vision dimmed out quickly and then faded back. She wobbled, her head swaying from side to side.
Blood littered everywhere, from the wall behind the bed to leaking pass by her prim shoe. Rich and red flowing around the floor like an army marching forth to battle. Blood was on the sheets. Blood was on the door. Blood was on Ani.
Ani.
She turned and realized for the first time, how bloody he really was. Blood dripped from the side of his head to his tunic. Blood had dried around his nose and other parts of his delicate and handsome face. Blood was searing through the arms of his torn top. Blood littered in his hair, turning the rich blond to a creamy strawberry blond. Blood had seemingly attached itself to her handsome love.
She looked at him and sighed. Tears on the brink of her eyes. Her beautiful Ani.
She took a step back toward him and tripped. Falling forward and stopping herself before she fell into a puddle of blood. She turned to look and see what she had stepped on. She was sure her breath had been caught in her throat and her voice lost somewhere in between.
It was a hand.
Just a hand. No blood, no damaged limbs, it was just a hand.
Oh, beautiful Ani.
She tried to meet his eyes, but he shied away. His delicate limb hiding in the torn sleeves of his bloodied tunic.
Oh, beautiful Ani.
Upset by his reaction to her sympathy, she turned away. Eyes trying to hid the pain of rejection and the tears of his agony.
She wanted to kiss away his pain, wipe away his blood. But she dared go back to him; she dared to let him see how much his reaction was really hurting her.
Despite the dizziness of seeing so much blood, she ventured farther into her quarters. She held her head suddenly, the room was spinning she was sure. His hoarse voice boomed through the room, "Amidala you shouldn't…"
She shook her head, holding it tenderly.
Then she stumbled backwards.
The vision was grotesque and horrifying. The cause of the flowing blood was bestowed before her. Her hands shook and she began to tremble. Nervousness encasing her whole body, fear drenching her entire being. She shook convulsively.
A beautiful body lay before her. A dissembled arm thrown in the direction of where she had once laid. His leg twisted awkwardly. Eyes shut as if sleeping and his facial expression so harmonic and serene. Her hand trembled as she reached forward and laid a gentle hand on his face. She ran the back of her hand down his cheekbone, running over a mark of blood and a broken jaw. Still shaking her hand went to caress his bloodied brunette hair and gently brushed over his bruised eye and crimson colored brow.
But her hand went to her mouth once she glanced down at the rest of him.
The boy's other hand was on his chest gripping a knife that was through his heart.
She gasped.
Her trembling hand running down his body to where his cold fingers gripped the metal. When she touched the fingers, they fell off the knife.
She choked.
Her face turned white.
Blood spewed from the wound and onto the floor, surrounding them in a crimson puddle.
Suddenly a firm hand gripped her shoulder.
She gasped surprised and then shuddered. He was knelt down to her. He closed his eyes and kissed her gently where the shoulder met the neck. She too closed her eyes, choking back the tears that threatened to flood her.
He squeezed her shoulder. She turned her face toward him.
Leaned forward and caressed his lips with her own. Then she pulled away.
Her hand, still trembling, took his tenderly. He squeezed it. She tried to smile.
"Hold me, Ani."
She turned into his one armed embrace as he kissed the top of her head. Knowing words that if spoken would not mean anything. There was nothing to be said.
She cried softly, soaking his tunic.
Oh, sweet, innocent Bail.
Go on to Chapter 6.