Author:

Author: Kerianne
Email: mpike@froggernet.com
Title: Harsh Realities
Spoilers: None
Warnings: Language, a wee bit of violence, and an utterly crackhead plotline. ^^;;;
Author's Notes: I wasn't going to post this until it was finished, but since people have been requesting it, I figured I might as well put it up. It's the third story in the arc that began with "Fire and Ice" and continued with "Thorns". If you haven't read those two fics, parts of this one will not make any sense to you, so click on my author profile and read those first. This one has actual plot, but it's not going to be everyone's cup of tea. You're going to think it's insanely OOC for a while. Bear with me, please, everything will (sort of) make sense later. ^^

Chapter 1:

"Ran... listen, I'm sorry. I know I chose the absolute worst possible person to fall in love with... I know you don't approve... but..."

Aya Fujimiya trailed off and stared at her own guilty-looking reflection in the mirror. No, that was never going to work. The moment the word "love" left her mouth, her brother would have slammed the door in her face.

Taking a deep breath, she began again. "Ran... niisan... please forgive me, I didn't mean to accuse you of being a bad brother, and I didn't mean to go chasing after one of your worst enemies with intent to..." She stopped again; what exactly had her intent been? Even she didn't know that.

"Ran, I'm an idiot..." she murmured softly, crossing her arms on the vanity table and laying her head on them. She really was. ~*Just a child... a *stupid* child...*~

Shaking her head, Aya attempted to block the memory of Schuldig's harsh words out of her mind. ~He had no reason to treat me that way. No reason at all. I did nothing wrong,~ she told herself firmly. ~I'm right, he's wrong.~

~So why doesn't that make me feel any better?~

Sighing, Aya stood up from the vanity and gave her reflection one more worried glance. ~I'm as ready as I'll ever be.~ Then she set out to make the most difficult apology of her life.

* * * * *

She expected Ran to be the one to answer the door, but found that it was Yohji instead. She supposed she was grateful for this, because some part of her had been afraid that her brother might just shut the door in her face... shutting her out of his life forever. Swallowing hard, she pushed the bleak thoughts out of her head and offered Yohji as cheerful a greeting as she could muster.

The tall playboy gave her one of his classic heart-stopping smiles, peering down at her over the rims of his sunglasses. "Aya-chan, looking lovely as usual this morning," he said smoothly, taking her arm and leading her into the shop.

"You flatter me, Yohji-san," she responded, with none of her usual humor. He stopped, turning around so that he was facing her, and took off his shades, a concerned look in his green eyes. "Worried about Ran?" he asked in a soft, serious tone. When no answer came, other than Aya's downcast expression, he put a comforting arm around her shoulders. "I won't lie to you, he is really angry. But... Aya, you're everything to him. He just wants to keep you safe. I'm sure if you promise to stay away from that creep, he'll come around."

Aya looked up, meeting his gaze confidently. "That's the problem, Yohji," she said in a quiet, even tone.

"What?"

She shook her head sadly. "I don't know if I can make that promise."

Yohji's eyes widened in shock. "Aya, don't tell me..." He pulled away from her suddenly, slamming a fist into his hand and swearing softly. "I don't know what kind of hold he's got over you, but he's--"

"Where is my brother?" Her voice was calm, but laced with steel.

"Aya, please... before you talk to him, just listen to me..."

"I want to see Ran now."

He looked at her for a moment more, disbelief, anger and worry flashing through his eyes like turbulent storm clouds. Finally, recognizing the trait of iron will that she and her brother shared, he backed down. "Fine. He's in the back room." He stalked off, muttering something about "fucking stubborn" and running both hands through his longish blond hair.

With a slight humorless smile, Aya crossed the shop and opened the door to the back room. Her brother's back was turned, and he seemed to be completely immersed in creating a flower arrangement. Only someone who knew him as well as Aya did would have noticed the slight tremble in his hands as he twisted the stems together, his overly stiffened posture, the way he bowed his head a little too low as he worked. Doing her best to ignore the stab of pain in her heart at seeing him so upset, she stepped forward and cleared her throat softly.

Immediately he sat up straight, turning around and regarding her with cold, unreadable eyes. Aya wanted to look away from the accusation, the anger and hurt and shame that she knew she would see in those eyes, but she forced herself to look back steadily.

Finally he nodded politely to her. "Konnichiwa, imouto-chan."

Aya greeted him in return, expression troubled. An uneasy silence settled between them, and she was just about to make an excuse and leave when he finally spoke.

"Did you go to see him last night?"

She closed her eyes. ".... Yes." When she looked up at him again, he was staring off into space, lips pressed tightly together. She couldn't tell if he was angry or not.

"Please don't be ashamed of me," she murmured finally, when the waiting became too much to bear. "I... I... gomen nasai..."

His eyes snapped back to her. "It's not your fault."

"What... what do you mean it's not my fault?"

"You know about his powers, right? You know he's a telepath?" Ran's voice was cold, impassive, betraying almost none of the hatred she could sense that he felt toward the subject of conversation.

Aya frowned, realizing what her brother was thinking. "This has nothing to do with that, niichan." Of course, Ran wanted to believe that Schuldig was manipulating her. He couldn't allow himself to face the fact that his sister just happened to choose the one man he hated most to fall for. I should have expected this... but how am I going to convince him?

He looked up at her, concern softening his violet eyes. "I shouldn't have let him get anywhere near you," he said softly. "It's my fault..."

"It's no one's fault, because nothing has happened," Aya said impatiently. "He hasn't hurt me yet--" not physically, anyway, she thought, with a slight twinge of sadness, "-- and he isn't going to."

"Aya, he raped you." Ran's voice was trembling a little. He paused, composing himself, and continued. "You don't know who you're dealing with. He's not just some tortured soul waiting for you to save him... He's a cold-blooded killer. I don't know what kind of lies he's told you--"

"Why doesn't anyone believe that I can think for myself?" she snapped. "It doesn't matter, anyway. I won't see him again. I was getting too close, and he told me to leave. He said he was playing a game, and now the game is over. Isn't that what you wanted?" To Ran's shock, she was practically shaking with emotion by the time she finished speaking, eyes shimmering with tears. "I have to go. I'm sorry... I'm sorry for everything..." Burying her face in her hands, she hurried out of the back room and out of the shop, leaving a confused and worried Ran alone with his flower arrangement once again.

Amethyst eyes stared dazedly at the spot that the distraught girl had just vacated. Ran took a deep breath, anger at Schuldig and worry for his sister at war within his mind. Anger won out at last. No matter what the situation, the bastard had to pay. If he was mentally manipulating her, then he had to be stopped before he infiltrated Weiss and began using her against them.

And if he wasn't.... if not, then he had just broken Aya's heart.

* * * * *

"She is alone, sir."

Minamoto looked up in surprise upon hearing his aide's voice, eyes quickly flicking toward the black screen in front of him, on which a small, blinking green dot was moving slowly. "Where?"

"Outside the Koneko no Sumu Ie flowershop, moving steadily west. Most likely returning to her apartment."

"No witnesses?"

"No, sir."

"Good." Minamoto smiled faintly, then switched quickly back into serious business mode. "Where will she be intercepted?"

"Halfway between the flower shop and the apartment. Takayama and Mitchell have been notified." The aide smirked a little. "The action begins in approximately five minutes."

"Excellent. So we'll have her here in about..."

"Half an hour or so, sir. Give or take a few minutes."

"Wonderful...."

* * * * *

~Wonderful. You have really messed things up this time, baka. Yohji's mad at you, niisan is either mad at you or thinks you've completely lost your mind, and you're going through all this for a man who sees you as little more than a toy to be played with. And now he doesn't even want you for that.~

With tears still coursing down her cheeks, Aya stopped running, leaning over slightly to catch her breath. She'd been running ever since she'd left the Koneko, and without even realizing it she'd made it almost halfway to her apartment. She was eventually going to have to go back and get her car. At the moment, she didn't care. The further she could go, the better.

"Excuse me, are you all right?" The voice caught her off-guard, and she looked up into an unfamiliar but kind-looking face. The man looked to be only a few years older than Aya, and he had open, friendly features.

For an instant she considered spilling her whole tragic story to this stranger-- after all, he seemed a lot friendlier than her brother, or Yohji, or Schuldig, or anyone she had dealt with in the past few days, for that matter. Realizing how silly and pathetic she would sound, she nodded and managed a smile. "I'm fine."

The man reached out to take her arm, concern crossing his face. "You're exhausted-- you look like you can hardly stand. Where are you going?"

"Oh, just back to my apartment-- don't worry about me, it's not too much farther now, I'll be fine--" But despite her protests, the man was firmly propelling her along toward his car. "Um, excuse me... I don't want a ride, really, I'd rather walk--"

The man jerked her arm, spinning her around to face him, and Aya felt a sudden chill of fear. The once friendly and open features had twisted into a cruel, mocking mask. "I don't think you have a choice anymore, sweetheart."

She screamed then, and was about to deliver a few well-placed kicks when she felt another pair of arms wrap around her from behind, catching her by surprise. Before she could react, her other arm had been twisted behind her back and a sickly-sweet smelling cloth was pressed firmly over her mouth and nose.

And after that-- silence.

* * * * *

At that exact moment, about six miles away, Schuldig sat up straight on his couch, an ear-splitting mental scream reverbating through his mind.

He waited a few moments for his vision to clear and the ringing in his ears to fade to a tolerable level, then settled back into a more relaxed position. Yes, he recognized the voice, and he knew what had happened to cause that sudden explosion of thought waves. No one had told him, he hadn't actively sought to root it out of anyone's mind, he just knew. It didn't happen often, and usually only when he had some sort of deep connection with the person...

Refusing to acknowledge the memories that suddenly stirred up within him, he absently rubbed the back of his neck and wondered vaguely why she would call for help from him of all people. He'd never done a thing to help her, never shown her the slightest bit of compassion or even companionship. And yet, still, she refused to hate him. Still she believed in his potential, still she had some sort of hopeless, reckless faith in him.

He gave a small, bitter chuckle. Faith in me... you may as well put your life in the hands of the Devil himself. And her life was in his hands now, he realized. With the information he held, he could save her.... or he could sit back and allow her to die, or worse. One less pure soul in the world to make the guilty ones look worse....

Schuldig put his hands behind his head, lay back on the couch and closed his eyes. Not my problem, after all.

* * * * *

Aya awoke slowly, her senses returning one by one... the sound of voices, faint, in the distance; the smell of sweet, fresh air; the sensation of wet grass against her cheek and soft ground beneath her curled-up body. Having expected to awaken in a hospital bed, or worse yet, lying on the concrete somewhere, she allowed her eyes to flutter open and found herself staring up into the clearest blue sky she had ever seen.

She stretched out a little and looked around from her spot on the ground, not quite trusting her spinning head to allow her to sit up. How in Kami-sama's name had she managed to get from the middle of Tokyo to... here?

Here was the exact opposite of the city of Tokyo, an idyllic country setting that looked exactly like something out of a novel. Everything was... well, perfect. The sky was an intense light blue, interrupted only by the soft, bright white clouds drifting by. Lush, verdant trees stood out in sharp contrast. Every color seemed amplified, made purer and sharper, and she was suddenly overcome by the uneasy feeling that she had seen this place before.

"Silly place to fall asleep," giggled a vaguely familiar, high-pitched voice. Aya sat up, ignoring the slight pain in her head, and turned to face the speaker--

And found herself looking into her own face.

No, not the way she looked now... the way she had looked around age 6 or 7, all sparkling dark eyes and childish innocence, hair parted and fixed into two neat braids on either side of her round face.

"You... you're..." Aya stammered out, wishing she could just go back to being unconscious-- it had been much less confusing.

The little girl gave a lopsided grin, and suddenly she didn't look quite as much like Aya anymore... her eyes had more crafty mischief in them than Aya could remember seeing in her own eyes, and her smile had an odd, knowing quality to it. Somehow, that smile was familiar too....

"What's wrong, okaasan? You look like you've seen a ghost!"

Aya flinched. Mother? How... even if I was a mother, she's too old to be my child! A chill ran down her spine suddenly. Something was very, very wrong here.

"Who are you?" she asked the girl.

The child giggled again. "Is this a game, okaasan? You know me! Michi!"

"I'm sure I don't know anyone named Michi... You must be mistaken," Aya said apologetically, climbing to her feet and completely taking in her surroundings. On one side of the small clearing she stood in was a stream, crystal clear water meandering off into the forest just beyond it. A few feet in front of her, a dirt path began weaving its way back to a small white cottage off in the distance. Besides the house, the river and the woods, there was nothing but grass and sky as far as the eye could see. Aya felt suddenly very claustrophobic, very trapped, despite the illusion of wide open space. Another chill wriggled its way down her spine. There's something not quite right about this place...

"You're so silly." Michi's laughter pierced through her thoughts, and Aya went back to staring at the girl. The resemblance was amazing... but there was no possible way this girl could be her child, was there? Suddenly a horrible thought occurred to her. What if she wasn't even herself anymore?

Abruptly she turned and ran over to the stream, ignoring her "daughter's" confused pleas for her to wait, leaning over the water to catch her own reflection. Yes, it still looked like her... same eyes, same hair... but her face looked rounder, more filled out, and there were lines around her eyes that had never been there before. Looking down at herself, she realized that her figure had changed as well, rounded slightly, become curvier. She looked.... Older.

Standing up straight, Aya stared off beyond the stream to the flat, vibrantly colored expanse of grass that stretched--

(endlessly)

-- as far as she could see. Taking a deep breath, she attempted to think rationally about the situation. Okay. I'm in a place that couldn't possibly be anywhere near home, and I've never seen it before but it still seems awfully familiar. There's a girl over there who looks exactly like me, claiming to be my daughter. And I somehow added about ten years onto my age since I was attacked.

I think it's about time for me to wake up, right?

She closed her eyes, then opened them again. The same scene was still there, and her reflection still looked like an older version of herself. It didn't seem to be a dream....

How long had she been unconscious? What if she'd slipped back into a coma? Was she even really conscious right now? Her next thought was a downright terrifying one.... What if she had never awakened from the coma at all?

"Okaasan? Michi says you're acting weird." Another voice, a boy's this time. Aya turned to face him, expecting another clone of herself, only in male form this time. Instead, somewhat to her relief, she found that the boy who had addressed her bore almost no resemblance to her at all, except for his hair color. He had deep blue eyes--

(beautiful, like ice)

-- and messy dark hair that was probably a little longer than it should have been, his bangs nearly tumbling into his eyes. He looked a bit older than his sister, around ten or eleven years old.

"Hello?" He was frowning at her, waiting for a response.

"And who are you?" Aya asked bemusedly, trying to keep her tone and spirits light. If she thought about this too much, she would go insane.

The boy rolled his eyes heavenward and gave the same oddly recognizable lopsided grin that his sister had. "Very funny. You know perfectly well who I am."

"I assume you're my... son..."

"Well, yeah..." The boy raised an eyebrow. "Michi was right, you are acting weird." He turned and began walking away. "I'll go get otousan, maybe he'll be able to help you with whatever's wrong with you..."

"Matte!"

He turned around.

"What's your name?"

The boy blinked. "Christian... You know that!" Shaking his head, he continued walking.

Christian... that's definitely a foreign name.... Suddenly something clicked in Aya's mind, and her eyes widened. The crafty, knowing grin... the blue eyes... the messy hair... a foreigner...

No. Not even possible. But anything was possible in this weird, backwards, surreal world she had somehow stumbled into, wasn't it? And it would be such perfect irony if the father of her children in this alternate universe turned out to be...

"Liebe? Something wrong?"

Aya shut her eyes and took a deep breath. A moment later she opened them, looked up into the shockingly familiar face, and smiled brightly. "No, Schuldig, everything is just fine."

Then she closed her eyes again and voluntarily passed out.

end chapter 1