Still Waiting For You
Chapter 3: "Pause And Reflect Before You Let Go"
"Sorry."
Tyler put down
his well-worn copy of The Grapes Of Wrath and looked at a shame-faced
Val.
"What for?" he
inquired. Val sighed.
"I was rude."
"You were
rude?" Tyler wasn't sure he had heard correctly. Hadn't Heather been the rude
one? "I thought that was my fiancée."
"Well…" Val
couldn't deny it. Her eyes caught a sparkle. "She was rude as well, but I was
rude to you."
"No, you
weren't," argued Tyler. He sat up and studied her face. "Of course you
weren't." Val, rude? No. Not even close to plausible, but maybe he was blinded
by the surprise of seeing her. Or maybe I'm blinded by falling in love with
her, another part of his mind said, but he pushed that bit away because he
couldn't deal with it right now—it was too hard. He was getting married. She
had a daughter. This was impossible and he had to get himself out of the tar
pit before he drowned in it.
"That makes me
feel better," Val admitted, sitting down on the couch.
"I'm glad."
Val leaned
back against the couch and breathed deeply. Tyler watched her like a falcon,
though the gaze held none of the bitterness a bird of prey directs to its
victim. He probably wasn't even capable of having any bitterness to Val,
and as things were at the moment, he wasn't sure if that was a good thing or a
bad thing.
"Are Hank and
people in town? What with the wedding and all?"
"Hank's flying
in today, actually," Tyler told her. "Jamie's coming tomorrow and Caitie's
coming in Thursday or something, since she's not in the wedding itself."
"Okay."
Something was troubling Val, even if she didn't want to show it. Her eyes were
slightly clouded with a mask that barred view of her feelings. "I'm going to go
check on Kara. I think she was talking about making Spot a parachute, and I can
only guess what that will lead to."
"I'll go
check," Tyler volunteered.
"Thanks. If
all else fails, ask if Spot needs a bath," Val suggested. Tyler nodded and
rose. He was halfway out of the room before he turned back to Val.
"And, Val?"
"Yeah?"
"You're never
rude."
*
The doorbell
rang.
Val looked
around at the lack of Tyler's presence, prayed it wasn't Heather, and swung
open the door.
"Hank!" she
cried.
"Val?" He was
surprised, to say the least. If Tyler had finally come to his senses and
realized that Heather was a snob and there were plenty of other way better
people—such as Val—around, then great. Absolutely fantastic. Somehow Hank
doubted this was the case, however. "I haven't seen you in a long time."
Tyler was
pretty much the only one Val had lost contact completely from. Hank called her
once in a while, now and then she called him, but being face to face with each
other was very different.
"Yeah, I know.
I'm just staying with Tyler until the wedding," she said hurriedly,
interpreting the questioning look correctly. "He said it was okay."
"You look
great," Hank informed Val. She smiled.
"Thanks. You
haven't actually seen Kara yet, have you?"
"I haven't really
had that honor," Hank confessed with a smile to match Val's. "She's five now,
right?"
"Six in
September, but yeah. Kara, honey!"
"Mommy, I'm
giving Spot a bath! Connell's helping!" Kara yelled back. Her statement was met
with a groan from Val.
"I need you to
come down here, okay?"
"Okay," Kara
replied, sounding frustrated. A moment later, she was marching down the stairs
with Tyler behind her and a wet Spot in her hands. Tyler's shirt was soaking
wet.
"Connell makes
really good bubbles," Kara informed them. She looked at Hank. "See my
toratoizale?" She held Spot up proudly.
"He's very
cool. Supercool." The word brought a smile to Val and Tyler's lips.
"Super
supercool," decided Kara, and she wound herself around Hank's leg with a big
smile.
"This is your
Uncle Hank," Val told her daughter. "Remember, he's the one you sent the
snowman card to?" After Val's reminder, Kara leaned back and looked up at him.
"Hello,
Hankyerchief."
All three
adults cracked up at that. Kara looked very proud of herself as she let go of
Hank's leg and wandered over to the counter, placing Spot down on it.
"I like my new
nickname," said Hank. "Have you met Heather yet?" he asked Val, who turned
pink.
"Yes," she
answered. Hank looked at her curiously. "She
informed me that I was nowhere near pretty, basically." Hank's jaw dropped, and
he seemed like he was about to say something in reply, but changed his mind.
"No comment,"
he muttered, not wanting to get Tyler annoyed if he mentioned that Val was far
prettier than Heather.
"Kara spit on
her shoes," Val said with a smile.
"Which ones?"
Hank asked.
"The pink
lizard ones."
Hank was about
to answer with a laugh when he caught the meaningful glare from Tyler. Val saw
it as well, and she silenced, looking down at the floor.
"So I guess
you're going to be sleeping in the second guest room. You want me to help you
with your bags?" Tyler asked Hank, who shook his head in return.
"No, I'm sure
I can manage. Thanks, though. It's great to see you, Val." He nodded
affirmatively, as if that was indeed what he had meant to say, and started up
the stairs, leaving Tyler and Val alone with a cheerful Kara playing with Spot
on the counter.
"Do you have a
gym near here?" Val inquired of Tyler. He looked surprised, then nodded.
"Yeah, down
Kelsey Street and take a left onto McCollum. You want me to show you?"
"I can find
it, I'm sure. Can you watch Kara? I'm going to go change and I'll just head
over there to work out, I guess." She looked at him, waiting for his answer.
"Of course.
I'll take her out to lunch or something."
"That's not
necessary," Val argued. "I mean, if you're already soaked to the bone, giving
Spot baths will amuse her for a long time." She looked at the drops of water
dripping from his shirt to the floor. "And you are definitely soaked to the
bone."
"I personally
think Spot is the cleanest toratoizale on the face of this planet," Tyler
laughed. "I don't mind."
"Well,
whatever. I need to exercise." She didn't add her thoughts: And I need to think.
I need to think really, really hard about why you like Heather so much and why
I didn't keep contact with you and why everything has to turn out so that I
can't fall in love with you because it's absolutely forbidden.
"All
right."
They stood
there for a few more minutes, trying to avoid each other's eyes while trying to
look into them at the same time, looking for all the world like scared
teenagers.
"I'm just
going to go—change," Val said, interrupting the silence.
Change?
Change is an understatement. Change is what has made us two different people
and change is what is going to keep us apart for the rest of our lives. Change
is a wrecking ball that will destroy anything that isn't intelligent enough to
stay out of its way. Why couldn't we have been smarter?
Val left the
room.
Tears were
going to fall that night—on two different pillows of two different people.
*
"Where do you
want to eat?" Tyler asked Kara as he carried her down the busy sidewalk on his
shoulders. "Are you hungry?"
"Food," Kara
informed him. Tyler laughed.
"Food is
always good."
*
Kara looked at
the sandwich in front of her with relish.
"Thank you,
Connell," she said politely before taking a large hunk out of it with her
teeth.
"So—Kara.
About your mom."
"Heather was mean,"
Kara informed him, crossing her arms defensively as she forgot about her
sandwich. "Spot's not icky. And I don't slobber. And my mommy is pretty.
She's very pretty."
"Your mommy is
too pretty for her own or my own good," Tyler agreed. Kara looked at him with
her eyebrows furrowed in puzzlement.
"Do you like
my mommy?" she inquired. Tyler was taken aback. Five-year-olds really shouldn't
be this smart.
"I like her,
yes." Maybe he could dodge this without actually answering. He didn't want Kara
to be a miniature spy for Val.
"Do you love
her?" Kara asked bluntly. Tyler stared at her.
"What?"
"Do. You.
Love. Mommy?" she repeated slowly, sticking enunciation at the end of each word
in the form of punctuation.
"Can you keep
a secret?" he questioned. Kara nodded eagerly with a big smile.
"I'm good at
secrets."
"I think so…"
Tyler said slowly, trailing off. "I think I do."
"Oh." Kara's
attention returned to her sandwich and the apparent loneliness of it since it wasn't
being stuffed in her mouth. "That's all."
"I don't know
yet. I mean, I'm getting married to Heather—"
"Heather's
mean," interjected Kara with a decisive nod. "Mommy's not mean."
"Heather can
be difficult," Tyler agreed, sighing, "but I mean, once you get to know her
better—" Kara was looking at him with exasperation and disbelief. "I'm marrying
her. I don't have a choice."
"Can't you
have choices at all?" Kara asked. "Because it's your funeryal."
"You know too
many comebacks for your own good," Tyler scowled at her. "Did your mother teach
you to be like that?"
"Nah," Kara
said, biting into her sandwich again as she shook her head. "That was Ryan from
my school. It's his favorite sayin'."
"Does your mom
like me?" Kara didn't answer. "Come on, Kara, tell me."
"I'm not
tellin' you anything," stated Kara.
"So she does."
"I didn't say
that."
"Oh."
In the silence that followed, Kara
finished off her sandwich.
"So what does
you mom do at the gym?" Tyler asked, changing the subject and dropping all hope
of weaseling information out of Kara.
"She presses
benches," Kara told him. Tyler nodded.
"You mean she
bench-presses."
"Yep. That's
what I said."
*
A woman came
over to their table and stood there expectantly, waiting for them to address
her so that she could speak. Kara looked up at her with wide blue eyes.
"What is it?"
"I just wanted
to say that your daughter is absolutely adorable," the woman said to Tyler. He
looked at her with surprise.
"I'm not his
daughter," Kara told the woman. "My mommy is his friend and he's getting
married but the person he's marryin' is really mean because she thought Spot
was icky. But my mommy's not mean. So he should marry my mommy."
The woman
looked at Kara with amusement and then at Tyler. "Mean, huh?"
Tyler was now
an interesting shade of red. "Kara."
Kara looked at
him innocently.
"What?"
*
Val lifted the
weight one last time and sat up. She had spent two hours lifting weights and running
on the treadmill and thinking about the circumstances and conditions that
surrounded Tyler, her, and Heather—and she had come to a conclusion.
She had to let
him go. If it was what he wanted, then she wasn't going to take it away from
him. She would love him enough to let him go, and maybe after all the pain had
worn away in ten or twelve years, she could think about seeing other people.
Except—Val had
a feeling Tyler didn't want to marry Heather. It sounded conceited, but she
loved him more than Heather. Heather was so superficial and—okay, well, that
was just jealousy. Val was going to find out if Tyler loved Heather and if
Heather loved Tyler and then she would make her decision completely.
Val bit her
lip and stood up to go home.
*
"Hey," Val
greeted Tyler and Kara as she came in. They were playing cards. More precisely,
poker. "Tyler, did you teach her how to play poker?"
"We're betting
grains of rice," Tyler informed her. Val smiled and looked back and forth
between Kara's heap and Tyler's pile.
"I think she's
beating you."
"I'm telling
you, the kid is a genius at all card games," said Tyler. "You want to play?"
"I'm going to
go take a shower," Val told him, motioning at her "I Play Like A Girl (that
means I can beat you)" t-shirt. Tyler hadn't known she was prone to wear
T-shirts with slogans, but then, she had changed over the years and so had he.
"I probably smell like a dead skunk."
"Not quite,"
he said contemplatively, as though trying to decide, "but pretty close. More
like an alive skunk that's spraying." His tone was teasing, and Val laughed and
slapped him in the back of the head.
"Idiot."
She turned and
left, heading towards the shower. Tyler's eyes moved back to the cards.
"Fold," he
said. Kara grinned.
"I wins.
Again."
That was sort of odd, but I'm thinking about doing a sequel
to Sunscreen and I think I've memorized Everything You Want. I've listened to
it and Sick Cycle Carousel way too much. I think I'm going to go listen to
You're A God for only the fourth time. :-) Anyways. Bye people. Please review,
and the next chapter will be out soon.
