Jaina's Journal Entry_2
Obsession to the Limits

By obi's girl

Authors' Note: Originally, this was Journal Entry 1, but decided to change it to 2. And, this fic has nothing to do with my series (Ana & Owen), but even if it doesn't, don't forget to review Ana & Owen, Book 1 and this one. Enjoy.
Genre: Romance, though it is only the beginning.
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: All the below characters belong to George Lucas. I'm just playing around.

Yesterday, as I walked through the hall (Rogue quarters), I passed him, lightly brushed his shoulder - that surprisingly sent a chill through me. I honestly don't know what it is about him. Besides being a member of the opposite sex, he almost insulted me during our first conversation. Naturally, I don't intend to fall for Jagged Fel, but I can't help it. Even though he's stoic all the time and thinks everything that happens is either fascinating or interesting, he enamors me.

He's not like anyone I've ever met before. He's not arrogant, brash and stupid like most other men I've known. He's disciplined, calm and almost striking. I'm not talking about his eyes, but his overall appearance. When he looks at me, it's almost like he's looking into my body and deep into my soul.

That is definite love talk. I know it. I am falling for him and I've already fallen hard. He smiled at me, making my entire body feel like it was melting.

"Lieutenant Solo. I didn't see you. How are you?" he asked. I smiled, though he didn't.

"I was - there's a briefing. Colonel Darklighter, he said all were supposed to attend." I almost cried, and I swear I sounded more garbled and stupid than anything else does.

Jag smiled, almost amused by my answer. I frowned, highering my 'I'm tougher and smarter than you' shields. "Hey, that wasn't funny. You just shocked me. I didn't expect to see you down here." I shot back, feeling a bit offended.

"I didn't mean to offend you, Lieutenant Solo." He whispered then perked up, straightening his uniform as if to impress me. I smiled as he extended his arm to me. "I'm heading for the briefing as well. Would you like to accompany me there?"

I gave him an almost incredulous look, which caused him to smirk. I kicked my gawking eyes back where they belonged and smiled. "It would be an honor, Colonel."

Jag smiled, sending another chill down my back. He certainly can be sexy, even if he doesn't mean to be.

**

Wedge Antilles studied the report thoroughly as I entered with Jag. I made sure before we entered I removed my arm from his and walked at least a meter behind him. It was crazy to be cautious but this is the military. The smallest hint of interest in a high-ranking officer would be looked down upon by other high-ranking officers, especially Wedge or maybe not...

He smiled at us, almost suspecting we were holding out on something. "Glad you two could finally make it. We were starting to worry."

I laughed stupidly, placing myself amongst the other pilots and out of attention. Jag smiled a bit, something he's never done since he arrived on Coruscant, and I have to admit, I think I was partly the cause for his smile. It was nice.

"This is just a small briefing, and run down of exercises. Freshen up skills. That sort of thing. Nothing to worry or panic about." Wedge stated and raised an eyebrow once he saw me wanting to ask a dire question. "What is, Jaina?"

All eyes turned back on me, which vexed me a bit. "Where's Colonel Darklighter? Shouldn't he be here to conduct these exercises?"

"I am." A voice said. I swirled around, facing the Colonel and bowed. Gavin laughed, going to stand next to Wedge and Jag.

Okay, that wasn't funny. I mused in thought.

"Jaina, since you're anxious about these exercises, why don't you go first?" Jag added, teasing me.

Oh, I'll go first and if they pair me with him, I'll kick his -----.

Wedge whispered something to his nephew before facing me. "No. Let's get started with these exercises and actually do something productive with our time."

I sigh because I'm relieved. At least it isn't that obvious I have a crush on Jag, but then again, what did Wedge whisper to him?

**

I ran cold water on my face during break and it felt good. No wander why Wedge, and Gavin were stalling. And Jag. What were they talking about? I know I shouldn't obsess about it but isn't that what girls' do when they have crushes? They obsess about their object of their affection. Look at me, 16 years old and already I'm anxious to hear gossip about my attraction to a cute boy, no man. I'm crazed.

"Nice workout, Sticks."

I swirled around again. I swear I almost broke my neck doing so and smiled at him, only I noticed something. Sweat covered his brow and beads of sweat were on his necks and probably on his ribs as well.... Stop it Jaina! Just stop it. You need to be focused, not fantasizing.

"Thanks." I replied almost too soft for him to hear. Only I couldn't leave it at that. The conversation he had with Wedge. I had to know if it was about me. I hesitated, something that had never happened to me before. "Um, I know this is probably intrusion and none of my business, but earlier, Wedge talked to you while you guys were busy teasing me...Was it...?"

"About you?"

I nodded mesmerized by his reaction.

"Actually yes. I was just wandering how keen are your skills as a Jedi. And was wandering if maybe we could put those skills to the test."

I frowned, feeling disappointed. "You against me? I don't think so."

"Why not?"

"Because I would whoop your ass. I am a Jedi Knight, you know." I shot back, challenging him.

"I am a Chiss, you know. I may not be violent by nature, but equally powerful. I was trained by the best."

I nodded, not believing what I was doing and of what else I was going to say. I placed my hands on my waists and nodded. "All right then. I accept." And extended my hand to shake on it. "Only I should warn you, I'm really good."

"So am I." He replied, taking my hand, once again sending chills down my back.

This is going to be interesting.

**

"What's going on over here?" Wedge asked, accompanied by Gavin. Wedge smiled, almost sensing the tension between his nephew and I.

I smiled pointedly. "Jag challenged me and I accepted." Wedge looked at Jag and he shrugged, though it didn't dissuade me. "Believe me, Wedge it'll help teach your nephew a thing or two." I looked down at my watch and sighed. "I better go and freshen up. Want to get rid of this sweat first."

"Time? What about the time?" Wedge inquired, almost intrigued by this flirting and it was.

Again, I looked at Jag and he nodded. "It's late now. How about noon tomorrow, in the local gym?"

"Noon is good." I replied, grabbing my jacket and sabre along the way.

Wedge gazed at his nephew. "You know, it would be just easier to tell her you like her instead of challenging her to a duel."

"I know. But I've never really been good about expressing my feelings. Chiss trait."

**

"I can't believe you, Jainy!" my elder sibling squirmed after I told him about my deal with Jag. I smiled. Ever since Corran's duel with Deign Ling, Jacen's been a bit touchy about duels, even if they weren't life threatening.

"It's no big deal, Jacen. I know what I'm doing." I replied, though in truth, I really didn't. I just had to prove to myself we were equals, I guess. That I wasn't below him or he wasn't above me. Something like that. "Wedge and Gavin, will be there to supervise and you of course. Your brotherly instincts won't allow you to back down and let me fight alone."

He nodded. "I'm not worried about you fighting, but isn't this a bit showy? I mean, do you really have to prove to him you're stronger."

"This isn't about strength. It's about being equal. If he can see I'm not a child, and that I have inner strength too and skills, maybe he won't see me as a spoiled child because my mother is a personal friend of Gavin Darklighter and that I didn't get this job in the Rogue Squadron because of my connections."

"It's still crazy."

I shrugged, ruffling my brother's hair a bit like I used to when we were kids. "Maybe, but so is proving yourselves worth. Now, are you going to help me prepare or not?"

He relented, nodding and smiling a bit. "You've always been head-strong and stubborn, Jainy. I see no reason to stop you now from that inner strength." He winked at me, standing up. "Let's get started."

**

The following morning, Jacen followed me into the gym. He nodded to Wedge and Gavin, and Jag, who was in the corner, meditating. Jaina's sure to kick his butt. Jacen thought, causing me to smile and feel more confident.

I smiled, turning to my brother. "Don't worry. I know to be careful." I removed my belt and gave it to him, and a worried look passed over his face. "I told you I wanted to do this equally. That means hand to hand."

Jacen shrugged and hugged his sister for luck. "Just kick his ass, Jainy."

I smiled, backing away and glancing at Wedge. My brother's suddenly turned serious. He brought up his hand and faced two fingers to his eyes. "Focus. Maintain your focus. It's right here. Don't forget that."

"Right, maintain focus. Anything else, coach?"

"Yeah, try not to get you butt kicked." Jacen laughed, shooing me off.

Oh boy. Maybe this was a bad idea. I mean, I don't need to prove anything. Do I? I glanced over at Jag. He stood up and removed the cape he was wearing, revealing only a shirt and jump pants. Okay. Focus Jainy. Remember that you're doing this to prove to him you're not just a kid. Of course, it would have been easier to say so in the beginning and start fresh.

Wedge stood between us, ready to state the rules. Jacen stood next to Gavin and smiled, feeling proud of his sister for going to this trouble just to impress a boy. It wasn't usually like her, but then again, they weren't kids anymore.

"All right. No weapons. This is hand-to-hand combat. Hopefully, both of you will be lucky to come out of this without a bruise or bloody nose. Keep it clean and no horseplay. Understood?"

We both nodded yes and stated so. Wedge backed away as I started hyping myself, bouncing up and down. Jag began to laugh but remembered to remain focused. He threw the first punch but I ducked him, but managed to grab his leg, landing him on the floor. I smiled to myself, flipping up and pacing behind him like a predator. He jumped up, a bit confused and worried where I went. Jacen pointed behind him. He swirled around, just as I was about to deck him.

"Come on. You're holding out." Jag teased, facing me.

"Yeah, what makes you think that? I maybe a be a Jedi, but that doesn't make me as strong as Luke."

He nodded. "You're holding out. I can see it in your eyes."

I frowned at that and nodded. "Let's go then." I thrust my arms forward, hitting his elbow repeatedly. Jacen's eyebrows' furrowed as he noticed the fight was no longer play, but challenge to our strength and abilities.

He began to hit me, but I ducked quicker and managed to pull him down, covering him. I was on top of him, something I really hadn't planned on and seeing that there was others' present in the room, it might have looked like I had planned it. He smiled. Beads of sweat were on both of our faces and we were panting from the exhaustion.

I got off him and extended my hand to him, helping him up to his feet. "No more fight. We don't do this anymore." I stated almost in the non-estalgic tone he used all the time. "We're equals. Deal?"

Jag took my hand and shook it. "It's a deal, but next time, I'll take you down. You can guarantee it, Sticks."

I smiled teasingly, as I picked up my jacket and sabre. "We'll see. If there is a next time." I nodded to my brother.

Jacen in turn nodded, laughing. "Kids." And left.

Wedge nodded to his nephew. "You never intended to really fight her, did you, Jag?"

He shrugged. "No, but that doesn't mean we can't compete at other things. Flying for example. That's a whole other area."

Wedge glanced at Gavin and shrugged. "Don't look at me. He's your nephew." Jag smiled at them both before leaving the gym, hoping to catch up with me in the hall.

I didn't even leave the corridor. I knew he'd want to say something to me. Call it female intuition or just the Force telling me I shouldn't leave yet because of something else. I smiled wishfully, gesturing towards the gym. "Sorry, about kicking your butt in there. I hope I didn't ruin your male pride."

"You didn't. It was..."

I waved my hand, smiling. "Let me guess, fascinating, educational, interesting... Take your pick."

"All and above, but I hope this doesn't ruin our chances for a rematch...like I don't know, flying."

I blushed a bit, leaning off the wall. "You just never give up do you, Jagged Fel?"

"The battle is never done until the two sides come to an understanding."

I nodded, understanding his meaning. "Well, until next time, may the best man or woman win." I smiled, before leaving and kept on smiling to myself as I felt his eyes on me walk down the corridor.

Oh yes. This will definitely by interesting.

TBC