Jaina's Journal_Entry_8:
Choices

By obi's girl

Marriage.

Sixteen years old, and as for living (no actually surviving this war), the chances...Didn't he realize there was chance of about 1 in a million. Didn't he care? I removed my hand from his standing up, pacing about in a daze. He laughed, causing me to glare back at him. Marriage wasn't funny. It was a serious commitment; a very serious commitment. Life long commitment.

"Jag, think about what you're saying here." I started, trying to phrase my words. "Marriage equals lifelong commitment, total devotion and..."

He smiled, taking my hands in his again, "...And love, which we have."

I shied away from him again, crossing my middle section. He frowned, suddenly realizing my words. Love wasn't enough. It was a good basis but we hardly knew each other. And if we did get married, Wedge would be like my Uncle except I already thought of him as part of the family. He always was. I turned to him and nodded, "Jag, I love you but this is serious. I need time to think about this."

Jag frowned but kissed my forehead anyway, brushing back my bangs. "I understand. And you're right, it is a big decision not to be taken lightly of. Take as much time as you need Sticks. I'll still be here, at least I hope I will."

"That's the thing, Jag and I'm not talking about your father; I'm talking about whether we'll survive this war. More and more core systems are hit everyday, and duty calls. We'll be apart from each other... we won't have time to be together."

He shrugged, silencing me with a kiss I gladly accepted. "Thank you, but a simple kiss isn't going to soothe my fears." I paused, biting my lip. "I mean, my Aunt Mara and Luke knew each other for many years before they realized their feelings for each other."

"And this war will probably takes years, decades even before coming to an armistice. We have time, Sticks but this feeling isn't going away."

I kissed him again, despite my fears, hugging him tight. "I'm just saying marriage is a big step but before we take that step, can we just be in love first? Can't we just be together and not worry about tomorrow?"

Jag looked down at the ring in his hand, scrutinized it before handing it to me. I looked at him, confused a bit. "Keep it then. Keep it with you while you think, and look foreword towards the future, Sticks. The future is all we have." He then removed my dog tag necklace and slid the ring on it. "Just don't keep me waiting forever."

I smiled, kissing his cheek, looking at the silver ring. It had some markings on it. They looked like hieroglyphs. I rested my head in his shoulder, examining the ring. "It's beautiful. What does it mean? The hieroglyphs?"

He pointed to a couple of them and smiled, "This one means forever..." next he pointed to two stick people, holding hands, accented by a sun above their heads. "Forever soul mates, bonded by time and love. A love that will last forever."

I laughed lightly, causing him to smile. "It really is beautiful. Thank you, and I promise to think about it." I kissed him again as my COM link buzzed. I rolled my eyes, backing away as I answered the call. "Yes?"

"Jaina, its Luke. Can you come down by the apartment? There's something Mara and I need to tell you."

I bit my lip, glancing at Jag. He shrugged back as I answered. "We'll be there...Is there something wrong with Aunt Mara?" Luke laughed, the first time I had ever heard him laugh since Mara's illness took effect. Something was going on, but I knew it had nothing to do with the illness. At least I didn't think so.

**

I held Jag's hand as we walked towards my to Luke and Mara's quarters, bumping into Jacen and Anakin along the way. I smiled at them both as entered. The whole family was there, with the exception of Chewie. I frowned at that thought as I scanned the room for dad. Jacen nudged me, nodding to him in the corner.

"What's this all about?" I asked.

Luke smiled at me, patting Mara's hand lightly before standing up from the bed. "I know we've all been through some rough times, but what we're about to tell you all might brighten some spirits around here." He glanced at me and smiled, nodding to Mara. "We're going to have a baby."

I frowned, glancing at Jag. And I thought contemplating marriage was a big deal. Now, I was going to have a little cousin on the way. It's not that I'm unhappy or anything, it's just everything is happening really fast. Everything's changing, and I'm powerless to stop the change.

Both my brothers' congratulated Mara and Luke, though I was sure they had reservations about the whole thing. Luke glanced at me, waving me over. I let go of Jag's hand and hugged him. "Congratulations, Uncle Luke." I mused, as Jag stepped forward, nodding his congratulations.

"I'll tell my Uncle the news."

Luke smiled, "Thanks, Jag but Mara and I would like to tell him. But if you want to come along, you can since you're family."

I snorted, causing everyone to look at me. Got that right, I thought laughing again. I fingered the chain on my neck, lost in thought after that. If Mara was pregnant and we actually survived the war, and I did accept Jag's proposal it was going to be one Hell of a wedding. Oh no, don't get ahead of yourself Jaina. You told Jag you were going to think about and you will.

**

I stuck around the apartment for a while, looking at the various frames and pictures. So much had changed over the years. Years ago, Luke and Mara were enemies. She was Palpatine's Hand, sworn to kill him and Luke was, is Darth Vader's son. They fought each other for so long until they gave up and developed a bizarre friendship. And now, Mara was carrying Luke's child.

But the timing was off. Now wasn't the time to start a family in my opinion, because of the Vong and how unsafe the galaxy was. There were no certainties. I'm sure they knew of that but still, something about the occasion made me worry. I frowned, picking up the wedding photo of Luke and Mara. I smiled partly, staring at the two of them as Jacen came up to me from behind.

"Hey."

I glanced at him and smiled, putting the frame back. "Another addition to the family, huh?"

Jacen frowned, crossing his arms. "You don't seem excited. What's wrong?"

I shrugged, glancing at Mara and Luke. They were laughing and talking with my mom and dad, Anakin standing back out of the conversation almost watching from afar. I switched my gaze to Jag. He had remained quiet the entire time. "I am excited." I glanced at Jacen and nodded for him to come closer. "Is now really the time for all of this? I mean, so much is happening with the Vong. It's not safe anymore."

"And we knew that, Jaina." Luke interrupted startling Jacen and I.

I lowered my head, fidgeting. "I'm sorry, Uncle Luke. I know you've wanted a family of your own. Helping mom and dad raise, Jacen, Anakin and I - you wished for a child of your own but the timing..."

"Never seemed to help. I know, Jaina, but that won't stop us this time. But thank you for your concern."

I glanced at Jag. He smiled back at me. "I'm sorry, Uncle Luke...I didn't mean..."

Luke raised is aesthetic hand and placed it on my shoulder, smiling. "Jaina, helping your mother and father raise the three of you helped prepare me for this moment."

I smiled, glancing at my brothers' and Jag. "So, helping mom change diapers and calm our cries in the middle of the night - we taught you patience?"

He laughed, swaying his head. "In a way, yes and because it did, expect baby-sitting calls in the future, Jaina." Luke winked at me as I gazed at Jag and smiled. Maybe the future was going to be bright after all and not the battlefield of death I thought it to be.

TBC