I patrolled that night, alone. I half expected Angel to turn up again but he didn't. Probably better off. Surprising little action going on in the 'Dale. Maybe they heard I got sprung.
Almost had a brush in with Willow and her chick-friend, but managed to duck in time to avoid them. It's not that I don't want to see them, I'm just pretty sure they don't want to have anything to do with me. She and her girlfriend, I can't remember her name, were walking, home I guess. Willow looks a mess. It's not pretty. She's taking this thing hard, that much is obvious.
So I'm there, hiding for Christ's sakes, behind a headstone when this vamp comes outta nowhere and heads straight for Willow and her special someone. He walks right by me, doesn't see me, so I jump up and take him down, quick and easy, stake through the heart. Willow and her friend look up but I'm back on the ground again, not easy to spot in the dark. They kept going. Good…yeah, good. I'm not that great at convincing myself.
The night's slow, so I head home after a quick minute. Back in my room I strip down and climb into bed, though I'm really too wired to sleep. Lots going on upstairs, brain's working it. The bed's too soft but it's warm. Hey, it's a bed, not a cot, so I'm happy.
I wanted to go by B's grave tonight. Funny how I managed to walk around half the town and didn't get there. "Sorry," I whisper to her and burrow further down under the covers.
Sometimes I hate my life.
***
Next day I head out and meet Sloan at his pad. We train for awhile, and I have to say, it felt great. Nice to have some weapons back in my hands. Crossbow used to be like a fashion accessory to me.
He hands me a little white envelope later, after I'm sweating like a pig and breathing so hard I think my heart's going to explode.
"What's this?" I gasp.
"Open it," he says, handing me a bottle of water.
I take a big swig then rip the envelope open. Money. I look up at him. "What the hell's this for?"
"Council stipend. Just this once. You need clothes, toiletries." He sniffs the air, "And a shower, pronto."
I raise my eyebrows at him and glare. "I don't want Council money."
He cocks his eyebrows right back at me. "Sure about that? I can guarantee they won't make the offer twice. Besides, it's not that much. But they can't have a naked Slayer running around out there, now can they?"
Instantly eight sassy comments come to mind, but I just shrug. "Whatever, fine. Let's go shopping."
He laughs. "Don't think so. I look like the shoppin' kind to you?"
I grin. "You sound like the mint julep drinking kind. What the hell is a julep anyway?"
He makes this horrible face, like he's swallowed gasoline. "It's this noxious combination that only very, very old Southern ladies still drink." He tosses me a towel. "Go use my shower, please," he teases.
"Honey, I smell like flowers," I say, catching the towel then standing up and breezing past him to the bathroom. Shower and shopping. Okay. Be normal-girl Faith.
***
Even I had forgotten how much I truly hate shopping. The Sunnydale Mall was packed people, mostly teenagers, all primping and groping each other. I grabbed handfuls of clothes as quickly as possible and raced back home, dumping everything on the bed. Scarier than facing vamps every night.
It was early evening at this point, so I flipped on the TV, ordered in a little Chinese and waited for night to fall so I could patrol again. Part of me hoped that tonight would be a little more active than the night before. A while later there was a knock on the door and I jumped up, grabbing a wad of bills to pay the delivery boy. Flinging open the door I came face to face with Angel.
"Hey," I said, holding the door open wider so he could come in.
"Hey," he said, walking in and leaning against the wall. "How are you?"
"Same. I thought you were my Chinese food."
He stares at me, with that Angel-stare. "I'm Irish."
"What's up?" I asked, flopping back onto the bed.
"Shopping?" he asks.
I look up at him curiously. "You want me to go shopping?" He indicates the pile of clothes behind me on the bed. "Oh. Yeah, shopping. Watcher-sponsored."
"Nice. Did you get the 401K, too?"
"Nah, holding out for the health and dental." I wait. It's Angel's style to not just come out and tell a person what he wants. And it pays off.
"So, how's the new Watcher?" he asks a moment later.
I consider this. "He's okay. American, which is crazy strange. All of mine have been Brits."
"You think he's competent?" he asks.
I narrow my eyes at him. "Well, I don't think he's evil, and so far he hasn't tried to attack me with a metal glove, if that's what you mean."
He chuckles a bit. "No, I don't think he's evil. Giles had him checked out. He's clean. I just wonder what you think of him."
I shrug. "He seems okay. Easier to talk to than Wesley was, that's for sure. Sugar-coated, too."
Angel raises an eyebrow at me. "Isn't he a little old for you?"
I roll my eyes. "You can talk. Besides, I'm not messing with him. Strictly professional," I say, crossing my heart. There's another knock on the door and I open it this time to discover the delivery boy. A few minutes later I'm devouring Beef and Broccoli and steamed noodles.
"So," I say, in between mouthfuls, "up for patrolling with me tonight?"
He nods. "Sure. Did you see anything last night?"
"Something tried to get Willow and her friend, the blond girl?"
He looks concerned. "Tara?"
I nod. "Yeah, that's her. Anyway, I dusted the vamp before they even saw him, and tried to make sure Willow didn't see me. I don't think they did."
Angel looks nervous. "Word around town is that since Buffy's…that Sunnydale's a free town now. You need to get out there, make it known you're back."
I take a bite of an eggroll and nod. "Not a problem."
He raises an eyebrow again. "So I guess you're over this, "I can't do it," thing?"
I swallow and shrug. "I don't have a choice. As long as I'm the Slayer, that's what I have to do."
"And you think you can do it without Buffy and the rest?" he asks quietly. I know he's not trying to be mean. He knows I'm capable.
"Just because Buffy was a better Slayer 'cause she had helpers doesn't mean I can't be good on my own," I tell him. "No Slayer before her had backup." But it hurts even as I say it. I really am alone. Hard to get used to it when you sorta had friends once upon a time.
He watches me. "Well, I'm here, for now," he says finally.
I finish eating in silence, thinking. I can live this way. Sloan and Angel will be my only friends, but how close was I to Willow, Xander or Giles anyway? Not. It's like going back to traditional Slayer-roots. No friends, no family. Just you and the fight.
I shove off the bed and grab a jacket, ready to head out. We hit the streets, making sure to avoid places the Willow, Xander and the rest might be haunting. As we're crossing the street to yet another Sunnydale cemetery a girl screams from up head. Another scream follows but this time to our left. Angel and I exchange looks and take off, me heading for girl #1 and Angel following Lefty.
I leap over the short fence that surrounds the cemetery and race across the grounds, hurtling tombstones. The girl screams again. I can see her up ahead, face to face with a vamp that's moving in close. The girl is backed up against a crypt, shrieking to high heaven. I walk up swiftly behind the vamp and tap him on the shoulder. He turns to look at me and is greeted with a one-two punch to the face. Growling, he turns around and lunges at me. "Go!" I scream to the girl, ducking a punch and jumping up to avoid a kick.
She hesitates. "My friend…where is she?"
I jump up onto a tombstone and deliver a shoe-full right to vampy's face. "It's taken care of. Now get outta here!" I'm losing my patience.
Jumping off the tombstone I make my way over to the vamp who is now lying flat on his back on top of a grave. I jump on top of his stomach and stake him through the heart. When I all the dust has cleared I look up at the gravestone…and notice the name. Buffy Anne Summers….oh God.
I drop the stake that I'm holding as that sinking feeling flows through my body. I feel heavy. I can't breathe. Reaching out I touch the letters of her name, tracing them. Buffy…I'm so sorry, I think as a sob escapes my throat. The tears are hot as they skim over my cheeks and I curl up on the ground, lying in front of her stone. Everything comes back to me here…all the pain and all the hurt we caused each other, and the power of the love she offered me but I couldn't give her in return. It was there, I just wouldn't let her have it. And now she's gone…
I didn't even hear Angel approach later, I don't know how long he watched me like that. The last thing I remember is being placed back in my bed and having the covers drawn to my chin.