Written by Seyla Starrider and Qwi Xux
Date: August 26, 2001
Contact:
Rating: PG
Intent: Angst/Action
Note: This is somewhat a song-fiction. You might know the artist you might not. "Complicated" is a song recorded by the new country artist Carolyn Dawn Johnson. The song came on the radio while we were working on the other fiction Lying to Myself and both of us quickly began to type about Anakin and how he feels for Ami. This is one of the first fictions we have done through Anakin's POV.
Thanks2: George Lucas and friends for creating the already known characters. Know we are receiving no money or anything for this work, only the satisfaction of releasing our feelings and allowing others to view them.
Time: During EPII.
Age references: 10 years after EPI: The Phantom Menace
Amidala – 23
Anakin – 20
Obi-Wan – 26
Summery: Anakin loves her more than air itself, but they are
the best of friends. He doesn't want to loose what they have now and couldn't
live without her if her answer was no. Will Anakin work up the nerve to tell
her? R&R!!!
Anakin watched from his dormitory at the Jedi Temple as Amidala strolled down the sidewalk to her speeder. He longed to touch her extensive silky smooth hair; to brush his hands over her skin; to kiss her like he never had before; to hold her in his arms forever and never let go; to—
As the speeder flew off he sighed, standing for the longest time trying to figure out what he was going to do, to say to her tomorrow.
With all his soul he had every intention of blurting out his love for her tonight when she had been in his room, but half of him didn't afraid that the answer might be no and he'd loose the best and closest friend he had left.
Frustration clouded his mind; Ami all I want is you, till beyond the end of time. Each night you come and visit me just before Coruscant's lone sun fades away. We talk for what seems like hours, and then you leave, leaving us as close friends. Why is it so hard for me to just tell you this? My heart? I can entrust you with anything, but I don't know. I'm just so unsure. Neither of us has ever kept any secrets away from one another. But I don't want to break our bond as friends.
Tangled in his thoughts, Anakin stared out into the night as lights inside the many tall elaborate buildings began to flicker on. Most of the evening traffic had cleared out by now, but the complex traffic inside the Jedi Knight's mind was becoming even more complicated.
"Anakin?" a voice question from across the room.
To his surprise, he hadn't felt his master's presence enter. "I'm sorry, Master I—"
"Let's just skip with the Master title for now."
"I'm sorry Obi-Wan, I didn't feel you coming."
"The way your mind is right now, I don't think you could have sensed a disturbance." He answered sarcastically. "Do you want to talk?" The Jedi Master asked. Ben had become apart of the Jedi Council once Yaddle had died of a serious unknown illness that caused her body to slowly shut down and dissipate. Anakin had been ranked as a Jedi Knight for about five years now, but the two still were close friends. Almost like Ben had been with Qui-Gon, except this friendship was more open and less father-son like.
Not bothering to look at the man, Anakin questioned, "Have you ever had a close friend that you could tell absolutely anything to, pour your entire soul out to, but finally couldn't tell them the one thing that could change what you both had?"
As if contemplating, Obi-Wan walked over to his friend. "You love her, don't you?" It was a clear-cut simple accusation, hardly a question.
Spinning wildly around Anakin faced him. "Of course I love her!" he began to pace back and forth as he let out his feelings. "The day I first met her I knew, I knew it was her. She is the most beautiful creature in the universe. Her heart is kind and gentle, and yet charismatic and alluringly filled with joy and laughter. I tell her everything I dream, I wish to come true, and yet I can't tell her the one thing I want to in the whole cosmos!"
Obi-Wan had slowly retreated to a seat as he watched his friend go off on his love for the woman Ben had always felt for as a sister. A smile had formed on his face; he did his best to refrain from laughing.
Anakin finally noticed, "What? Why are you smiling like that?"
"You have it bad Anakin."
"I know I have it bad! I'm just asking what I should do about it!"
"Tell her." He stated straightforwardly.
Looking at the man, Anakin gave him a stern face. "It's not that easy, I can't just go and tell her, 'Ami I love you more than night and day. More than life in me.'"
Laughing lightly, Obi-Wan explained. "Yes you can."
"How?"
"Just tell her what you told me." With that the Jedi Master left the room, leaving Anakin alone to reflect on his words.
"Hard on himself, he is making." Pondered Yoda. He sat on the small custom made couch in his quarters.
Obi-Wan entered the wise alien's room. "Yes, a lot harder than he should be."
"Sound worried you do, Obi-Wan."
"I am. Worried about the fear that grows in him."
"Fear? Fear of losing a friend?"
"Yes."
"Mmmm."
Placing the box in Ben's hand, he stared at it strangely. "What is it?"
"Gave it to me, Qui-Gon did last time in the Jedi Temple, he was. Intent on marrying the boy's mother, he was."
"Marry?"
Yoda only nodded. "Have had it since his death. Would have wanted Anakin to have it. In love he is. True to his heart and the future will he be. Now leave me be. Late it is. Sleep I need."
"Goodnight, Master Yoda."
"Goodnight, Obi-Wan."
She was in his dream wearing an elegant dress of blue. She was crying on the steps of the Jedi Temple. Anakin wanted to run to her and comfort her, but something kept him at bay from assisting the woman he cared so much for.
Suddenly light filled his eyes and the dream slowly faded away. Groaning, Anakin rolled over in his bed throwing the pillow on top of his head to block out the light.
"Go away!" he mumbled from underneath the pillow.
"And why would I do that?" A familiar feminine voice questioned as she tore the pillow from his grasp.
Sitting up quickly, he rubbed the sleep from his eyes before trying to see who had entered his room, invading his dreams and slumber. "Angel what are you doing here?"
Frowning she gave him the look as she folded her arms. "You only call me that when you have something important on your mind. Mind filling me in?"
"Only if you tell me why you are here, and so early? Aren't you suppose to be in some political meeting or something right now?" he questioned, doing his best to avoid the question he wasn't exactly ready to answer. Just not now.
"Don't you remember what day it is?"
"Yeah, the day I was planning to sleep through." He remarked sarcastically.
Dropping her arms, she sighed. "And you think Ben would of let you do so? He's the one who let me in."
"I'm gonna have to have the lock changed."
"Ani, listen to me. Don't you know what today is?"
"Honestly… no."
"Today was the day you and I met."
Oh, of all days I vowed to tell her about my feelings. At least it will be easy remembering these two special days. But I don't have gift for her… oh well I'll have to improvise. Rubbing the top of his bed head hair, Anakin half smiled. "Oh yeah, I remember."
She threw the pillow at his face, catching him totally off guard. "You liar, you forgot! Just admit it."
"I'm not admitting anything that isn't true."
Glaring at him with a grin on her face she continued. "Well I canceled all of my meetings for a month."
"A month? Why? What for?"
Biting her bottom lip, Amidala's shy eyes glittered with joy. "Because what I have for you is something that both of us need. A vacation."
"Ami, you—I can't believe… where are we headed?"
"That's part of the surprise. And since you have to wait for it, I'll give you a week to get my present."
"Not that I needed any time to get your gift, you'll just have to wait longer to receive it."
"Fine with me." She shrugged. Twirling around she began to go through his drawers.
"Hey! What are you doing?" he jumped up off the bed trying to stop her from raiding his room. Grabbing the pair of boxers she held in her delicate hands.
"I was getting your things so you can put it in your travel case."
"Right now? It's—" glancing of to the chrono on the side of his bed he read it. "It's only 5:29."
"Yeah, exactly. We're leaving in an hour." She smiled gently then got back to sorting through his cloths.
Grasping her hands, he stopped her. "Alright, I'll take care of this. Are you packed?"
"Been for a week."
"Ok, then you can go get my clothes in my closet. I'll take care of this part."
Giggling at his security over his undergarments, she rolled her eyes in humor. "Fine."
"Amidala is already on the ship, turning on the pre-flight sequence. Are you ready?" Obi-Wan questioned.
"Of course. This should be fun." Anakin answered.
Looking sternly at the boy he eyed him. "Just don't do anything to Amidala that I wouldn't condone. She's like a sister to me and if I hear anything of—"
Interrupting him, Anakin cut his Master off. "Obi-Wan, I wouldn't dare think of such things. Don't act like I don't know what you are talking about. I can feel what you are thinking through the Force. She's my friend, and I won't anything happen to her, nor will I hurt her."
A smile of satisfaction appeared on his face. "I trust you." He reached inside his robes taking out a box.
"Ben, I know you love me like that but I have to decline. I don't swing that way." Anakin sarcastically remarked.
"Anakin, this isn't for you!" He scolded. His tone became more serious. "This is for Amidala."
A perplexed expression developed on his face. "What?" He was confused.
Ben explained the story behind it, shocking him slightly. He just stared at the box. "Take it, Anakin."
"What am I going to do with it?"
"Give me a break. You know what to do with it. You must forget I have the Force too. Your feelings for her aren't hidden from everyone. Yoda even knows."
"You didn't tell him did—"
"Anakin, it was pretty obvious, even without the Force. You better go. She's waiting. Remember, only when you're ready, give it too her."
He nodded. "I'll see you around, Ben."
"In a month, Anakin. Until then, keep a watch over her."
"I won't let her out of my sights."
When he finally boarded the ship and it took off up into the atmosphere the little green alien came out from his hiding place.
"Good morning Master Yoda."
"Feel me through the Force, did you?" The Jedi Master pondered.
"That, and I saw you sneak in here before the others came in."
"Ring you gave him." He stated, ignoring the observation he had made.
"Yes."
"And his answer?" Yoda joked.
Shaking his head in defeat he continued. "Did you talk to Anakin before I did?" he laughed. "I pray he makes the right decision."
"Set is the future for those two."
"Maybe, I must go before my transport leaves."
"Follow them you will?"
"No, a mission to complete. May the Force be with you."
The alien didn't answer him. Once he was alone he said to no one but himself. "Circles broken, circles end, circles will cross paths again. So this is to be true. Finish mission you will not, Obi-Wan, start a new you shall. Vision I had, says it is to be, but the future always in motion it is. Grave is all our futures, if true this is." Yoda sighed then strolled back into the Jedi Temple to go meditate.
"Ami where are we going?" Anakin pleaded as she dragged him blind-folded out of the run down speeder they had rented. Since they landed the blind-fold had been over his eyes. So far he hadn't even seen one inch of the world they were on, though the heat was pretty immense but bearable. He supposed getting used to Coruscant he was getting too comfortable with the cold.
She giggled. It sounded so beautiful to his ears. "We're almost there. You can make it."
Finally they stopped. He could hear people talking in the background, and then faintly felt through the Force that Amidala was bringing someone over to him.
"You can remove it now."
When he took of the blindfold, his eyes were filled with light from the sun. With his eyes became used to light, what he saw made his disbelieve his sight. Pulling up his hand, he touched the older woman's face feeling her tanned skin.
It was she, in flesh and blood. "Mother."
Tears adorn her eyes. Then the two embraced, mother and son holding on to one another shocked they actually were together again.
"Anakin, my son. I love you so much." Shimi whispered in her son's ear.
"You're alive. I—I can't believe it. I never thought I would ever see you again."
Pushing her son away from her slightly she said, "Scoot back so I can see how you've grown." She studied him then lastly, into his deep kind eyes. "You have grown up so much, into a handsome man." Tears glistened down her cheeks. Wiping them off her cheeks she composed herself before turning to Amidala. "Amidala, thank you. You've done so much… more than even my dreams can imagine."
"No one deserves to be a slave, and no one deserves to be away from their family as you two were." She replied.
"Still I owe you everything."
"Your welcome, but you owe me nothing. You've already given me something, someone I couldn't begin to imagine living life without."
A silence acceptance and gratitude crossed between the two women.
"You three get in here this instant. You are going to get sun blazed!" called a female voice from the house. Anakin recognized nothing of the place, but followed the two ladies into the home.
Touching Amidala's arm before she went in he got her attention. "Ami, I don't know what to say? You not only found a way for me and my mother to see one another again, but you freed her."
"Don't say anything. You still have to give me my gift. Plus, it's wonderful to see my sister again." With that she entered the hut.
Sister? She has a sister, and she never told me? He thought. Oh well, this should be interesting.
"Amidala?" Anakin started. They were in the guest room of her sister's home. She laid in a bed across the room, he in a cot.
"Hmmm?" she groaned sleepily.
He was going to tell her but a thought seared through his mind. What if her answer was no? "Umm… your sister is nice."
"Uh-huh. Anakin, you aren't telling me something?" she sat up in her bed so she could get a better look at him by the dim lighting that shown through the window.
Anakin saw her face outlined by the moonlight. She was wearing her cotton nightgown and her hair was incredibly curly. He opened his mouth to tell her, but then closed it quickly. "You look so beautiful in that nightgown?"
Half frowning at him she smiled tilting her head. "Thank you."
Staring into her deep brown eyes he blinked. "You can't get to sleep can you?"
"No."
Thinking quickly for a moment, he jumped up from his bed grabbing her arm pulling her up from the bed then towards the door. "Anakin," she yelled softly, so not to wake anyone. "Where are we going?"
"It's a surprise." With that the two sneaked out of the house underneath the starry night sky.
"Isn't it dangerous to be out here at night?"
"With you around, danger is something that is always lurking."
Confused by his comment she let it go. He led her to a hidden cave. Holding his hand so tightly he guided her to the far end of the cave and show her a secret waterfall that cascaded down into a medium size lake. Anakin was in the water in a quick leap. Water splashed up onto Ami's body.
Once he's head was out of the water she glared at him. "Anakin! Look what—" but before she could say anything she found herself beside him in the water. The transition happened so fast that it took her a few moments to realize what had happened.
Anakin opened his mouth to speak, but Amidala cut him off. "You may be my closest friend, but you had no right to do what you did." With that she started to climb out of the pond.
Following after her, he couldn't hold it in any longer, grasping her forearm; he pulled her back towards him. She glared at him. "Let go of me." Her voice was angry and serious. "I am tired and wet, and the why you've been acting around me… it's like you are hiding something. If that is how it is going to be, then I never—"
Cutting her off, he blurted out, "Ami, I love you."
"Want to see y… what?" her voice seemed to halt as if there was something stuck in her throat.
Never in his entire life had Anakin felt so nervous. None of his Jedi training or parables his mother told him each night when he was younger had prepared him for what he was going through now. Using his other hand, he ran it through his wet hair. "Amidala I love you more than breath in me. I know we've been best friends for what seems like forever, and I've been acting oddly around you lately, but it's not cause I don't care about you… it's cause I love you even more now and just being around you makes my heart pound so hard I don't know what to do when you're near." He took another deep breath and continued. "Even when you're not, I feel anxious."
Amidala's deep russet eyes widened, her mouth dropped. Her chest felt heavy and she couldn't breathe, but she managed to take a little breath.
"I don't want to lose you, and the reason I've been holding this back for so long is cause… I was afraid you're answer was no. I may have lost you already, but I need to tell you before I loose you completely." Anakin reached into his pocket and pulled out a box. Falling down to one knee, he opened up the box to reveal the ring inside. "Angel, will you marry me?"
Amidala was still staring at him in disbelief, like she was dazed. She couldn't believe this wasn't a dream, but her voice came back to her. "Yes," she whispered. Then got louder. "Yes, I'll become one with you."