A Day of Insanity at...Wal-Mart!
Disclaimer: I don't own it.
Will was bored. Really bored. He was trying to think of things to do on his day off, but nothing appeared to be working. He tried cooking (and set the kitchen on fire), playing the piano (one of the keys shot out and hit his Xatu in the eye), watching TV (the TV blew up when he chucked a bowl of Jelly Beans at it) and playing catch with boxes of cereal. Suddenly, as if on cue, the phone rang. "Will speaking, what do you want with me?" he answered. "Yeah, Will? This is Rainer." the voice on the other line stated. "Rainer..." "The Eevee brother with the Vaporeon, dumbass! Listen, me and my brothers are going to Wal-Mart and-" "AAIIIEEEE! Wally World!" Will screeched. Rainer sighed. "I was wonderin' if you wanted to come. It's your day off and I know how bored you get. You wanna?" Rainer said. "Well, can I bring a few friends?" Will replied. "Whatever. We're coming to get you as soon as Pyro finishes eating the washing machine..." "Sure, whatever." Will said and hung up.
Half an hour later, a big red, yellow and blue van almost crashed into the mailbox. "Sparky, you aren't supposed to crash the fucking van into Will's goddamn mailbox!" a voice screamed. They were here, all 4 Eevee brothers... "Well sorry, Rainer, but I JUST got my driver's liscence yesterday, bastard!" "Stop you two!" another voice said. "SHUT THE HELL UP, MIKEY!" The other three screamed. Falkner, Tracey and Gary were with Will, as well as Bugsy. Bugsy was screaming his head off at a passing SUV, while the driver came out and slapped Bugsy in the face, calling him an unsensible little bitch. Bugsy just punched the guy in the nose and crawled in the van. "Good job, Bug." Sparky said. "We have two more people to pick up, though." "Maybe you should let Pyro drive. He won't crash as much!" Rainer said. "As much? That's like letting Mikey drive!" Sparky hissed. "Hey! I'd be better than you!" Mikey screamed. "JUST FUCKING DRIVE!!!!!" Pyro shouted as the van bucked. "OI! You distracted me, boy!" Sparky yelled as he threw the ash (AIIEE ASH) tray at Pyro's face.
"99 bottles of beer on the wall, 99 bottles of beer, if one of the bottles should happen to fall..." Pyro started. "...Rainer will come by and guzzle them all!" Rainer sang. Will and Falkner clapped. Bugsy was asleep. "We're here." Sparky said. It was a black house with red shutters. Two girls stood up from the stairs and rushed to the van. "Open this damn door, Sparky or I'll break it!" A girl with purple hair screamed. "It's open, bitch!" Sparky screeched. The girls, Sarina and Morgan, came in and sat down.
Bugsy was snoring, so Rainer and Pyro chucked a model of Iowa and a Boston Pops cd at him. He woke up and screeched, causing Sparky to crash into a very large sign. It said 'Welcome to Wal-Mart.' "Great! We're here!" said Sparky. "Wonderful...it's Wally World..." said Morgan. Sarina flinched, and then sat back down. "Oi...people are scary..." she said as a boy with a spiked mohawk and three earrings walked by. The group ran to get a cart, but soon found there was only one left. They moved it, but the wheel squeaked much too much. "Argh! Of all the ones we had to get, we had to get the defective cart." Sparky said. Will nodded. "At least we don't have a self-destructing one." he laughed. A woman passed by them, wheeling a perfect cart in front of her. Falkner took action. "MOVE IT LADY! THIS ONE'S OURS!" he screeched. "You! Give my cart back!" the woman screamed. "Get your own!" Falkner said. "That IS my own!" "TOO FUCKING BAD!" the whole group (even Mikey) shouted. The lady stormed off, muttering something about cannonballs and slushies.
"Where to first, guys?" Sparky said. Mikey was IN the cart, seeing the chance to get a free ride. "The shoe department!" Pyro said. "No way! CD department!" Will and Rainer said. "Clothes!" Mikey and Falkner shouted. "Quiet! We'll get to everything, just hold on a sec...where's that list...the list...oh, shit. PYRO!!" Sparky screamed. "Hm?" Pyro said. "Did you bring the list?!" Sparky shouted. "Uhm...no..." he said nervously. "I hate you, Pyro." Sparky said. Rainer just sighed. "And they say I'm crazy..." Rainer sighed. "Shut up, water boy!" Pyro said. "I am NOT a water boy! I do NOT work for a basketball team!" he screeched. "What about the Boston Pops?" Bugsy said. "Don't mess with the Boston Pops!!" Rainer said. Suddenly, Bugsy took the cart and ran around the store with Mikey still inside it, running like a raving lunatic. "Whee!" Mikey said. Bugsy let go and the cart, with Mikey in it, crashed into a display of canned artichokes. Then, all Mikey could say was: "Ow."
"Mikey, you okay?" Rainer said, helping Mikey up. "Yeah, I think so...yeah I am." he replied. "DAMN! Now I can't have your room!" Rainer responded, pushing Mikey into a fat lady. "Watch where you're going, boy!" the woman screamed, throwing him at Sparky. "We're sorry, ma'am, our little brother isn't very careful OR polite." Pyro snarled. "You should teach him better, then!" the woman replied and walked off. Pyro and Sparky high-fived Rainer and Mikey slapped them. "Ow..." Sparky said, grabbing Mikey by the shirt collar. "I'm going to the CD aisle. I'm getting tired of picking on Mikey, I've tried everything but he still stays an immature little brat." Rainer said and began to walk away. "Take me with you!" said Will and Bugsy. "Why..." Rainer sighed. "I need a new Culture Club CD. My older sis broke it when she played frisbee with it." Bugsy said. "Yeah, and I don't want to see what Sparky's gonna do to Mikey. It could get violent and I don't want security to take me away, too." Will stated. "Fine, whatever." said Rainer, annoyed by the world. Falkner decided to stay quiet the rest of the day.
"Oh, cool!" Will said, his one good eye gleaming. "What now?" Bugsy said. "Greatest hits of the Eighties, 1989!" "Wow! That's a good compilation! Look, The Living Years by Mike & the Mechanics!" Bugsy squealed. "AIEEE! Mikey..." Rainer said. Suddenly, as if on cue, Mikey came running by, with two black eyes and a bloody nose. "Help! Sparky's after me!" he screamed. "I'LL GET YOU YET, MIKEY! HOW DARE YOU TOUCH MY HAIR!" Sparky screamed. "Oi...and I thought I was physical..." Will sighed. "Oh?" Pyro said, walking up to them. "You're just weird." Rainer said. "Oh, yeah? Name one extremely weird thing I've done!" Pyro said. "Well, you live." Will said oddly. "Besides that, cyclops." Pyro snapped. "Well there was the time you had sex with a-" "SHUT UP, RAINER! I was distraught and didn't know what I was thinking!" Pyro fumed, blushing. "Sure, whatever you say." Rainer laughed. "ARGH!" Pyro said and stormed off, people staring at him. "What was it anyway, Rainer?" Bugsy said. Will and Bugsy could tell Rainer was about to burst out laughing, and they were right. "A telephone!" Rainer screeched. "What the HELL?" Will said, surpressing a laugh. Bugsy however, was on the floor, rolling around, eyes teary, laughing his 13-year-old head off. "Oh my...he...he...telephone...hahaha! I think my lungs just imploded! HEEHEE! ^_^ WAHAHAHA!!" Bugsy screeched.
Pyro was in the clothes section (on the other side of the store) and heard Bugsy's annoyingly high-pitched laughs. "Oh, no...he told, the little cheating bastard..." he said, hugging a particularly flowery pink shirt. A man walked by and looked confused. "Uhm..." he said, pointing at the shirt. "OI!" Pyro screeched, looking confused as well. He looked at the man, and pointed at him. "Who the hell are you, anyway? I swear I've seen you before..." he said. "I think you have. My name is Koga of the Elite Four. Have you seen Will around lately? Today wasn't his day off, it was mine. I'm here to look for him and drag him back to the Plateau if I find him."
Pyro smiled wickedly. "Yes. I happen to know he's here at the moment. Allow me to show you where he is...heheh...payback will be mine!" Koga stared at him. "Er...did I say that out loud?"
Meanwhile, Bugsy was still laughing hard and had attracted attention. "What's he laughing at?" a lady whispered to a nearby man. "I don't know." the man said. "Oh my god, I've never laughed this hard in...in my life! WAHAHAHA!" he laughed. Rainer kicked him. "You can stop now." he said. He stopped. "Rainer, you don't have to be a total dominatrix!" Bugsy snapped. Rainer stood dumbfounded. "Why you little bitch, I'll KILL you!" he screamed. Bugsy ran and hid behind a very small stack of CD's. Rainer ran after him, but Will held him back. "He's right. Stop." he ordered. "Oh, and who are YOU to boss me around? I am the oldest of the world-renouned Eevee Brothers!" "And I am Will of the Elite Four, the greatest psychic master in all of Johto AND Kanto and if you don't stop, I can attack you SO fast you won't feel a thing until you realize you're hurting!" Rainer shut up finally. "And you are also Will of the Elite Four who is in MAJOR trouble." said a voice. It was Koga along with Pyro! "Oh, no...does this mean it wasn't my day off?" Will said. "Yes, it does. I had to battle three extra trainers today because of you!" Koga screamed. "Uhm...sorry?" Will said. "IS THAT ALL YOU CAN SAY!?" Koga screamed in Will's face. "No...I have something else to say...you need a tic-tac..." "What the fuck is wrong with you, you rabid strawberry shake?" Koga said, shaking Will by the shoulders. "I prefer raspberry." Will stated. "Whatever, just get back to the plateau, you're needed." "I DON'T WANNA GO!" Will said, clinging to Bugsy, who was back to laughing. "You have to, it's your job!" Koga said. "Well, fuck you! Since when do YOU care about my job, let alone other people's?" Will said, letting go of Bugsy. Sarina heard the fighting and rushed over. "Hey, who's fighting and who's winning?" She said, Morgan following her. "Koga? what are you- oh, no, you're not making Will go back to the Indigo Plateau, are you? He was perfectly giddy until you arrived. Why don't you leave and go fuck a seagull?" Sarina snapped. Will was just sittingthere, thinking. "Oi, this'll be a LONG day..." he sighed. Falkner just sat there quiet as he had been all day.