Untitled Document

Part Twenty-Nine: Crisis in a warrior's heart! Save the raging wind

The air rushed past her body with an icy, knifing pain that that was oddly satisfactory. She welcomed the pain. She wished for more. She wished for the end. It would be a long fall, she was certain, and she couldn't wait to reach the bottom. She wondered what it would feel like, to die. Certainly she had died before, but with each rebirth the memories had been erased. It was time for all of these memories to be erased, too. She didn't want them; she couldn't live with them. Maybe she'd be lucky this time around and the cycle of rebirth would skip her.
It seemed as though she fell for hours. Hours that were seconds. She thought, perhaps, that she heard Michiru's voice calling her name. But it was probably just the wind in her ears. She could still see the beautiful face before her, the aqua eyes shimmering with tears, the long white arms reaching for her. But she would not reach back. It was only her own life she wanted to end, not Michiru's. This would be the price for her betrayal. For the sacrilege she had committed in raising a hand to Sailor Moon. She would die a traitor, and rightfully so. It was the fate all traitors deserved.
She didn't want to think anymore. She closed her eyes. Any moment now…
"Sailor Uranus."
Uranus opened her eyes, trying to determine where the disembodied voice was coming from. For some strange reason she wasn't falling anymore. How was that possible? She was floating…suspended, in darkness. And her fuku was gone. She looked down at herself, surprised to find that her body was glowing with a light all its own, a light so pure and brilliant that it clothed her nakedness completely. Was she dead already? That must be it. She'd hit the ground so hard and fast that she hadn't even felt the pain. A flash of regret went through her. She SHOULD have felt pain. She needed it. But still, it was over. She was dead, and she couldn't hurt anyone anymore.
So now what? Uranus had never given much thought to the concept of heaven and hell, but she was certain, if they existed, she'd be headed for the latter…especially after what she'd done today. "Let me make things easy for you," she responded flatly to the voice. "Just give me my one way ticket to hell and I'll be on my way."
"You are not dead, Uranus."
The voice was disturbingly familiar: youthful, but with a strange ancient quality. She knew that voice, and in a moment was proved correct as a glowing robed figure materialized several feet away. "You're one of the Guardians." It was a statement, not a question.
The figure inclined its head. "I am Guardian Brother. This," he lifted an arm to indicate the surrounding blackness, "is the Celestial Hall."
"Let me go. I'm a little busy at the moment." Uranus was not in the mood to be speaking with any of Orion's friends, be they great mystical Guardians or not.
But Guardian Brother shook his head. "I cannot allow you to take your life, Uranus. Your time has not yet come."
"I don't give a damn about my time!!" Uranus hissed. "I am going to kill someone. Do you hear me? I'm a danger to the other senshi, your precious little Orion in particular. If you don't let me die, Guardian, then I will kill her…I swear it."
Demetrius' voice was sad. "I am sorry, Uranus, but I cannot let you die. There is a destiny yet to be discovered, and people who still need you."
"Do I look like I care?"
"Frankly, yes." Uranus' eyebrows went up, and Demetrius smiled slightly. "You wouldn't have jumped off that building if you didn't care, Uranus." A growl erupted from the girl's chest, and Guardian Brother shook his head sadly. "No matter what you may think, none of this is your fault. You must believe that."
"And no matter what you say, I can never believe that. Now let me go." She spoke the last sentence very slowly, with a dangerous gleam in her eye.
Demetrius sighed unhappily, but nodded. "As you wish."
There was a sudden rush of cold air, and the darkness became light again while the light surrounding her faded and she could once again feel the skirt of her fuku flapping against her thighs. For a split second she rematerialized in midair, hovering breathlessly over the ground. She had only the time to realize that she was about ten feet from the pavement before she started to fall again.
As her body struck the sidewalk, she cursed the Guardian who had saved her life. Her head hit the cement and the world exploded into thousands of colorful dancing stars. Pain shot through her spine, all the way down to the tips of her feet. Everything was black and red and strangely brilliant, and she struggled to keep her eyes open. One thought was foremost in her mind: You may have stopped me, but this is far from over.
As she lay on the pavement, blinking sightlessly at the sky, a crowd almost instantly gathered around her. She could hear a sudden cacophany of muddled voices, and a few even hesitantly reached out to touch her. Their fingers were snatched away by other onlookers with more sense, and she could begin to make out some of the voices close to her.
"Somebody call an ambulance!"
"Look…it's a Sailor Senshi. What's she doing here?"
"I saw the whole thing. Looked like she fell off the building, and then she disappeared."
"And reappeared a few feet off the ground!!"
"Is she dead?"
"Did anybody call the hospital?"
A kindly, older voice came very near her ear. "Don't be afraid, miss. I'm a doctor, and we're getting you some help right now." She felt gentle fingers taking her pulse, and checking her breathing. "Good news, miss…I think you're going to be all right."
Uranus made a little sound that, had she been feeling better, would have been a snort of disapproval. Yeah. Great news.
"Let me through. Please. Please let me through." Uranus recognized the sweet voice, and groaned. She didn't want Michiru to see her like this, not now.
The elegant musician squeezed into the forefront, kneeling down beside the doctor. She was well known in Tokyo as a great violinist, and many members of the crowd who recognized her tried to give the lovely girl some extra space. Despite the fact that her partner's hair was so brightly turquoise that it hurt her eyes, Uranus could still make out the tears streaming down the pretty face as Michiru took her hand.
"Uranus, it's me. Listen to me, it's going to be all right. They'll get you to a hospital and I'll be right here with you."
She felt her hand being pressed to a wet cheek, and a flash of guilt went through her. She didn't want to make Michiru cry.
"Excuse me, miss, but do you know this woman?" a nearby policeman tapped Michiru on the shoulder. "I need to ask you a few questions."
Reluctantly Michiru allowed the policeman to pull her away from her fallen friend, and Uranus could just make out the familiar voice telling the policeman how the big strong Sailor Senshi had saved her life when she was attacked on the top of her apartment building, and how the monster had pushed her savior off the building and then vanished in midair. Thanks to Michiru's impressive acting skills, Uranus had no doubt that the police would accept her story.
The ambulance arrived in a whirl of blue and red and screaming sirens, and she felt herself being carefully moved onto a stretcher and strapped down in case of neck injuries. Uranus knew there was nothing wrong with her neck or back, and several times tried to get up and leave, but there were too many strong hands holding her down. Normally she would have just overpowered them all and ran off in the other direction, but she couldn't bring herself to do it. Visions of Usagi flying over her head, that resounding, ominous crack of bone, her fingers wrapped around Neptune's throat…it was all just too strong. She didn't want to hurt anyone else. She didn't even have the will to fight back anymore.
She was loaded into the back of the ambulance, but the men wouldn't let Michiru ride with her.
"Only family," she heard one say as the doors were slammed. She caught a glimpse of her partner's pale face through the glass as the ambulance drove away. Secretly, she was relieved. It would be better if she could kill herself without Michiru watching. She didn't want Michiru to remember her that way. Of course, this would be the last time Michiru would ever see her…she managed to raise her head and offer a smile and a little reassuring wave before they were out of sight, and she did not miss the look of relief that covered the beloved face. There. That was better. A good memory. Uranus wondered how hard it would be to find something suitable to commit suicide with in a hospital. It didn't really matter. She was a Sailor Senshi, after all…designed to be resourceful.
The ride to the hospital seemed to go by in a sort of daze. With every turn of the wheels, Uranus sank deeper and deeper into depression. Curse that know-it-all Guardian. She wasn't supposed to be here. She was supposed to be dead. Uranus was determined to make herself pay the price for what she'd done. Attacking Sailor Moon was nothing short of treason, and traitors should die. Preferably slowly.
When the ambulance pulled up to the emergency entrance and she was wheeled out on a gurney, she turned her head and saw one of the nurses looking right at her, smiling. But this nurse was not…Uranus suddenly forgot all about getting inside the hospital, and in a matter of seconds had broken free of the restraints and leaped from the gurney. She took three steps towards the pink-haired nurse, grabbed the front of her scrubs, and lifted her about a foot into the air.
"What are you doing here, Lady Slipper?" she snarled.
Lady Slipper's eyes went wide. It had been a long time since she'd seen Uranus so out of control. It was so… "Magnificent," she breathed, her sea green eyes shining. "Just magnificent. I can almost see what Orion sees in you."
At Orion's name, Uranus' gray eyes darkened ominously and she gave a half screech, half growl before throwing the Negaverse woman into the side of the building. The astonished EMT's who had brought Uranus in moved forward uncertainly to help the hapless nurse, but backed off almost immediately as the nurse threw off her scrubs to reveal white leggings, sheer pink skirt panels, a lacy white halter top and one elbow length white leather glove, minus fingers, on her left arm. The men may not have recognized Lady Slipper, but they knew instinctively that anyone wearing such a ridiculous outfit in public was probably not all human, and they wisely chose to hang back and let the Sailor Soldier deal with it.
Uranus repeated her question. "What are you doing here?"
Lady Slipper laughed lightly. "I'm just here to finish what you started, Uranus," she responded, batting her eyes. "You almost killed Sailor Moon before I got the chance. Tsk, tsk."
It was as if Uranus had been punched in the stomach, and Lady Slipper knew it. Her rose colored braid swung as she pulled out her tiny silver knife. "I just want a look at the girl's blood," she sang sweetly, fingering the sharp point. "You should have told me what you were planning. If I'd known you were going to do the job for me I would have let you have the honor."
Uranus hissed again and darted forward. In a lightning quick move, Lady Slipper brought up the knife, and Uranus only stopped as the blade pressed against her neck. Lady Slipper rolled her eyes. "Oh, stop it, Uranus. You realize I can kill you with a snap of my fingers."
"Be my guest." The wild gray eyes actually made Lady Slipper a little nervous. She found the Magnificent Soldier's fingers wrapped around her neck, and she was suddenly dangling off the ground again. "But I'm taking you to hell with me." The grin on Uranus' face was feral, desperate.
Lady Slipper was not too worried, however. She lifted an eyebrow, and suddenly Uranus felt a terrible burning pain as cracking dark energy seared into her hands, causing her to let go of the woman's throat. The Negaverse woman grinned and held out her gloved hand, releasing a stream of pink power that crashed into Sailor Uranus. This time it was the senshi who was lifted into the air and tossed backwards.
Uranus grunted as recent bruises, still tender from her fall, once again struck against solid cement. She had to pause for a moment to regain her senses, and as she did Lady Slipper extended her little knife, tapping the blade so that a drop of black, glistening liquid rolled down to the tip and then fell. It hit the ground with a sizzle and began to swell, and at this point the EMT's decided it might be prudent to retreat inside the hospital doors where it was safer.
Sailor Uranus rose to her feet as the jaki formed in front of her. It was a particularly ugly one, with three long, sharp fangs overhanging its fleshy lower lip. Lady Slipper patted the creature on the shoulder. "Now, my pet, once you've finished off this troublesome Sailor Senshi, fetch me the little blond princess, will you?" She winked coquettishly at Uranus. "Have fun, dear." A moment later she had vanished, and Uranus was left to confront the monster alone.
"All right, ugly. Let's see you do something right for once. Get over here and kill me." Uranus grinned, and summoned her space sword talisman. "This is the way I want to go down…fighting."
The jaki leered and lunged at her, and Uranus dodged out of the way, landing a blow to the back of the creature's neck as she went. It hissed its displeasure and spun around, blasting a stream of black lighting from its mouth. Uranus managed to pull her arm in just in time, and she nodded. "There we go." She put one fist in the air. "World Shaking!"
The planet shaped attack ripped through the ground towards the jaki, who moved out of the way but still managed to get its foot caught by the golden power. It screeched at the sudden burning sensation, and Uranus snorted. "Oh, come on. Don't be such a baby…it's just a little sting to you." She lifted her sword, but the creature had decided it had taken enough of her punishment and released another blast of crackling dark energy. This time it caught her in the midsection with paralyzing pain, tossing her backwards yet again. Uranus growled as her body hit cement and the screeching power ripped through her muscles.
"Now…we're having fun," she managed to sneer despite the excruciating sensation. The pain in her body somehow dulled in comparison to the pain in her soul, however, and she wanted more. She needed more. The jaki eyed her on the ground, and once it was assured that she was sufficiently immobilized it turned to enter the hospital in search of the little yellow-haired human that its mistress had demanded.
Uranus scowled as the evil spirit started to walk away. "I don't think so. Get back here…you're not finished with me yet." Knowing that the creature would not turn back to her unless she gave it good reason, she forced her quivering, rebellious muscles to hold her up, stubbornly ignoring the fiery pain. She put one fist in the air and called out her attack again. "World Shaking!"
The attack crashed into the jaki's back, and it was significantly more powerful than the first one she'd released. This time the monster hissed loudly and twisted around, striking her across the face with its claws so that a row of three bleeding gashes appeared on her cheek. Uranus swung with her sword, the glowing blade creating its own bloody stripe on one arm. "Come on, you know you want to," she growled at the evil spirit, hitting it again with her sword. "Just kill me and get it over with, will you?"
The jaki threw another punch that landed in Uranus' belly and threw her backwards for the fourth time. She was tossed so far that she struck the white brick wall of the hospital, and crumbled to the ground in pain. The jaki decided that it was best not to leave the job unfinished this time. This particular senshi seemed to have a death wish, and it was not opposed to granting it. Its mistress would be pleased if it took out one of the senshi. With a snarl the creature rushed forward.
Uranus smiled grimly. At last. She closed her eyes and waited for the blow that would end her life. Images of her friends began to run through her memory like bad movies, voices from the past and the sights and sounds of all the battles she had fought and won. Bitterly she forced herself to focus on the memory of Neptune's face, as Uranus' fingers choked the life out of her. It would be all right, now. She would die, and go away…somewhere where she could never hurt any of them again. Where there was no Sailor Orion, no Sacred Child, no damned Eternal Sacrifice. Where there was no HER. They would all be safe from her now.
But the blow never came. Only a sudden silence.
Uranus opened her eyes to find that somehow, she was holding the space sword up in front of her; and the jaki had impaled itself onto the shining blade. The purity of the talisman proved too much for the evil spirit, and tore through the dark, glistening body. The creature melted away, around the sword, turning into a puddle of black gooey liquid that sank into the cement and vanished. Sailor Uranus stared in disbelief…she didn't have that kind of power. It took both Sailor Moon and Sailor Orion a joint attack to destroy one of these things. How on earth…?
Looking up, she saw a doctor standing by the hospital's glass doors. He had a shock of snow white hair, and his brilliant sapphire eyes were gentle. Uranus cursed. Demetrius. The man nodded slightly in her direction, and then turned away. The senshi sighed, banging her head into the wall behind her in frustration. He'd managed to ruin things again. Who did he think he was? Fine. Just fine.
The sword talisman shimmered as it was reabsorbed into her body, and she picked herself up off the ground, grimacing at the pain that washed over her. Well, at least if she wasn't dead yet, she could still suffer some physical hurt this time. That was a small comfort. But it was not enough.
She dragged herself away from the wall, stumbling off in the opposite direction. It was time to stop playing games. She was going to end this, once and for all. If she couldn't die in battle, there was another alternative. It was her second choice, but at this point Uranus was in no mood to be picky. As she regained more control of her muscles, she broke into a run.

Demetrius entered the library of the Celestial Hall silently, and stood in the doorway a moment just watching the girl bent over the Book of Balance. Her soft white hair fell in clouds over her shoulders, two tiny braids framing her earnest face as she gazed into the Book earnestly. Her pretty face, still tearstained, was so full of pain that it broke his heart. She was aware of his presence, and when he didn't say anything she looked up. Those silver eyes, the sweetest eyes in the universe, met his, and they were shining with tears.
"How is she, Guardian Brother?"
He knew who she meant, but deliberately he chose to misunderstand. "She's doing fine. We've reset her arm, and she has ten stitches at the back of her scalp, but the Princess was lucky. There's no internal bleeding and we were able to heal most of the superficial injuries entirely. One more treatment from your music sphere and we should be able to take the stitches out. She'll have to wear the cast for another day or so until the bone is mended."
The Sacred Child nodded to show that she understood, but it wasn't the answer she'd been looking for. "And Uranus?" she asked quietly.
Demetrius sighed, dreading the subject that he knew was coming. It was only going to cause her pain. Still, he had to be honest. "Still determined to take her own life."
A crystalline tear dropped from the pale eyelashes to roll down her cheek, and she lowered her head to look down at the Book in front of her. Its pages were dark now, but only a moment before she'd witnessed the battle between Uranus and the jaki. It frightened her. "Her soul is so clouded, Guardian Brother," she said quietly, her musical voice trembling. "She feels guilty for a hate she does not understand. Yet it is not her fault, it is mine. I deserve her scorn and she is the one who suffers. I cannot allow this to go on." She looked back at him. "I will not allow it."
Demetrius took a seat at the library table next to the Child. "What can you do?" he asked. "It used to be that Uranus was much different. Much colder, much less caring. Every lifetime, exposure to the Princess has gentled her a little. Surely you do not wish for her to return to that unfeeling state."
"What I wish…" the Sacred Child sighed. "Uranus was much different BEFORE all this happened. Before I destroyed everything. Don't you remember, Guardian Brother? She was the gentlest, most loving, most compassionate of all the Senshi save the Princess herself. A magnificent soldier. She was the best of everything the Sailor Planets stood for, and her heart was almost as big and pure as the Imperium Silver Crystal. She was strong, kind, powerful and good to everyone. Even me." She shook her head, sections of silvery hair whispering about her ears. "I took that girl and I murdered her. I shattered that crystal heart into a billion pieces and left her to try and cope without it. What I wish, Guardian Brother, is to be able to take it back."
He shook his head. "You know that is impossible. Sailor Pluto would never allow it, and even if she would, we Guardians could not. What's done is done, Child. It allowed the Posiverse to win the war, did it not? We could not risk it again simply for the sake of Uranus' heart. You know that."
"Yes. I do." She met his eyes. "But Uranus is dying again, from the inside out, because of me. Because she doesn't understand why she hates and she believes it makes her a monster. Her suffering is causing her friends to suffer as well, and no one except me knows why. I cannot allow this to continue, Guardian Brother. I…" She took a deep breath. "I am going to tell her the truth."
"No!!" Demetrius' sapphire eyes widened in horror. "Child, you can't do that. She's so close…so close to regaining her old sensitivity and tenderness."
"She's close to suicide, Demetrius. On my account."
"Child, listen to me. If you open the past it will only bring her more pain. It will only bring YOU more pain. You musn't do it."
The Sacred Child lowered her head. "It could not possibly bring me any more pain than it already does," she said softly. "Don't you know that I relive the past every day of every lifetime? I carry it with me all the time. And while I do not wish those memories on Uranus, I do not have a choice." Another tear fell. "It hurts her more to think that she is a danger to those she loves, that somehow she is the source for all the rage. She needs to know who the true source is, and she will never believe me if I do not give her the whole story. I'm going to tell her."
Guardian Brother shook his head and pushed the hood of his robe back so that she could see his face. "She'll kill you. You know that."
She nodded, but her expression was resolute. "It would be no more than I deserve. The vernal equinox is approaching quickly, Demetrius. I'm dead anyway."
"Guardian Father and Guardian Friend are not going to like this."
"I know. But I'll cross that bridge when I come to it. Just…" she fastened her eyes to his. "Don't tell them yet. Promise me."
He sighed heavily. "You know I don't like secrets like this, Child."
"Please, Demetrius. For me. This is something I have to do." Her silver eyes scanned his face until finally, reluctantly, he nodded. A little smile spread over her features. "Thank you." She leaned forward, brushing her lips against his in the lightest of kisses.
It was meant to be a kiss of friendship and thanks, and he knew it. But it made his heart ache. She had no way of knowing what she did to him, this little girl with her silver eyes and heart of gold. Fighting the urge to take her in his arms and kiss her again, he instead pulled back awkwardly. "Please don't, Child." His voice was a little hoarse.
She nodded in understanding, sorrow in her face, and gazed at him a moment longer before rising to her feet. "I must find Centauri," she said quietly. "And then I will look for Uranus. Don't let her…do anything to herself until I can get to her, all right?"
He inclined his head, not trusting his voice. She laid a hand on his shoulder and squeezed gently, and then with a rustle of white satin, she was gone.

When a knock finally sounded on the door, Michiru nearly flew across the room. She wrenched the door open and fell into Shinzui's arms with a sob. "Thank God you called. She hasn't come home."
The blind girl patted the musician's back soothingly. "It's all right, Michiru. The Guardians are watching Uranus. They won't let anything happen to her."
Michiru sniffed and nodded, and took a step back to allow Shinzui and Centauri to enter the apartment. It only took the blind girl a moment to know that both apartment and owner were in shambles. Centauri guided her carefully around piles of strewn clothing and newspapers. As she moved to sit on the couch, she reached underneath herself and pulled out a large paper heart. She felt around its edges, recognizing it as the valentine that she had made for Haruka. A lump formed in her throat, but she did not have time to consider it further because she was distracted by the loud rattling of china as Michiru brought the tea tray over and cleared a space for it on the coffee table.
"I'm sorry it's such a mess in here," the aqua-haired girl apologized in a shaky voice. "It's just that…without Haruka I sort of fall apart. I've been trying to think where she might be, where she would have gone. I went to the hospital but they told me she never checked in." She took a seat next to the blind girl.
Shinzui inclined her head. "There was a jaki at the hospital; Lady Slipper sent it for the Princess. Uranus killed it."
Michiru's eyes widened. "By herself?" she asked, and Shinzui nodded. Michiru shook her head. "I've never seen her like this, Shinzui-san, never. I don't know what to do." Her voice broke, and the teapot in her hand trembled so violently that Shinzui reached out and took it from her, pouring cups of tea for both of them and then setting the pot back down on the low table. "It's like she's turned into a different person, a stranger. And she's scared. I never thought I'd see the day that Haruka was scared of anything." She turned teary eyes on the blind girl. "What's happening to her, Shinzui-san?"
Shinzui sighed. "Michiru, there are many things that you don't know about me, and about the past. The way that Haruka feels about me is not her fault." She took a deep breath. "Millennia ago, I did some things to her that were unforgivable. And even though she cannot remember what I've done, she cannot forget the suffering I caused. Now, she believes that there is something wrong with her because she cannot remember the cause for her hate." The blind girl's tone was sad. "I intend to right this."
Michiru tilted her head. "What do you mean?"
"I am going to take her into the Orion Sphere, and show her the past. And once she knows, she will no longer hate herself." Shinzui patted Michiru's hand. "But she will hate me even more than she does now. And so, before I open those memories to her again, I'm going to tell you. Haruka will need your support and strength if she is to work through the past again. The first time around, you were the only stablizing force in her world. You're going to need to be there for her again."
Michiru nodded in understanding. "Tell me."
The blind girl inhaled sharply, and then, in a halting voice, began to share her story; a story that had remained buried for thousands of years. As she spoke, the memories came back in a flood, and several times she was forced to stop and regain her composure before she could keep going. Still, she related the entire horrific series of events as accurately as she could, and Michiru's eyes misted over again in many places. Though she did not have any of her own memories of what Shinzui spoke of, there was something oddly truthful about the story. It was like a terrible sense of déjà vu, and despite the fact that she could not remember, the things Shinzui was telling her were disturbingly familiar.
By the time the blind girl was finished, both young women were in tears, and Michiru was shaking her head in disbelief. "It's just so hard to imagine you doing any of those things," she stammered. "It's no wonder that the Prince of Darkness is so feared in the Negaverse."
Shinzui nodded sadly. "He is a monster."
"WAS a monster." Michiru hugged the taller girl impulsively. "You are not that Sailor Orion any longer, Shinzui-san. You cannot be held responsible for what he did lifetimes ago. You are a completely different person."
"Am I?" Shinzui's smile was rueful. "Sometimes I'm not so sure." She twisted her fingers in her lap. "I still feel him inside me sometimes, especially when I fight. He frightens me."
Michiru returned the smile. "Shinzui-san, I will tell you the same thing I told Haruka. You are NOT a monster. You are strong, courageous, and compassionate, and you have a beautiful spirit." She squeezed Shinzui's hand gently. "Listen, you aren't defined by how you feel. You're defined by what you do. And in this lifetime, at least, I've never seen you do anything but what you had to in order to protect the people you care about." The violinist shook her head, teal hair billowing around her neck. "You're right. Haruka has every reason to hate you. But she's still wrong."
Shinzui's head came up in surprise, and Michiru lifted an eyebrow. "Shinzui-san, Haruka is the most important person on earth to me. Anyone who causes her pain is my enemy. But that doesn't mean that I can't forgive, and it doesn't mean that Haruka can't either. What happened in the past is in the past. Those crimes were committed by someone else, and Haruka has transferred the blame to you because she never had enough time to achieve closure." The musician smiled again. "But I know Haruka. She is not as hard or as cold as you have described. And she can forgive. I'm sure of it."
The blind girl sighed. "I don't want her to forgive me, Michiru. I cannot forgive myself. I just want her to understand that it's all right for her to hate me."
"But it's not all right," Michiru responded gently. "Because Haruka is a better person than that. You'll see." Her smile widened. "You know, the two of you are so much alike. You both have such strength, and yet you're both so hard on yourselves. It's like you are willing to tolerate flaws in everyone EXCEPT yourselves. The two of you, working together, would make an incredible team, you know."
Shinzui shook her head in amusement. "The two of YOU make an incredible team. You don't need me." She tilted her head to the side. "I need to find Haruka. Do you have any idea where she might have gone?"
Michiru's eyes darkened. "No. I've been trying to think of that all afternoon. It used to be that when she was upset, she came home to me, or went riding. But her bike is still here, and so is the convertible."
Shinzui's tone was very soft. "Michiru, if Haruka was going to kill herself, where would she go?"
Michiru gasped a little. "You think she's…"
Shinzui nodded. "The Guardians won't let her die," she replied comfortingly. "But I need to know where she would be."
The pretty musician racked her brain. "Well…Haruka always used to say that she could die happy on the racetrack…" She looked up. "Shinzui-san, that's it. That's where she's gone, I'm sure of it."
The blind girl rose from her seat. "Which track?" she asked, her voice low.
Michiru also stood. "Uh, let me think. Um…it would have to be the longest one in Tokyo. The one where she won the most races. That would be the Fuuraiki Track, in the eastern district."
"I know where that is." Shinzui took a firm grip on Centauri's harness and turned to go.
"Shinzui-san." Michiru took a step forward, and Shinzui turned back to face her. "Before you tell her anything, make her promise not to kill you." A grin spread across the violinist's face. "She'll keep her promise, no matter how much she may hate it."
Shinzui nodded, but her smile was much more melancholy. "Thank you, Michiru. And don't worry. I'll get her back to you, safe." The tall blind woman and her retriever left the apartment.

Ignoring the pain that was blazing through her head and limbs, Sailor Uranus sprinted towards the high chain-link fence that surrounded the racing complex. Yes, this would do nicely. In one soaring leap she cleared the top of the fence, landing solidly on her feet though the shock to her joints was jarring. She paused for a moment, breathing deeply, savoring the burn of oxygen in her lungs. It had been a good run. It would be her last.
Her eyes scanned the familiar complex. It was starting to get dark now, and the long shadows of twilight made eerie shapes out of the fence and the occasional aesthetic tree. She was on the far side of the track, on the edge of the grass that surrounded the oval stretch of pavement. The garage was on the opposite end of the oval, and with a bitter grin she broke into a run again. In about forty-five seconds she had crossed the entire track and reached the back of the garage, and without breaking stride she kicked the side door in.
It was cold and dark inside, and she turned to close the door behind her. With that done, she was able to breathe a little easier. Finally. It was almost over now. The heels of her boots made harsh clicking noises against the slick cement floor as she made her way into the garage. Racing season was over now, and the garage was full of the odds and ends needed to service the various cars and motorcycles that passed through it during its busy months. But somewhere in here was her target; the most precious jewel of Japanese racing. It was a Ferrari, a blue one, that had gone undefeated for the last two seasons. The specs on this car were phenomenal; more horsepower than a few hundred stampedes and an engine that could power a jet plane. Its owner, Tohru Fuuraiki, was the grandson of the man who owned the racetrack itself. He'd commissioned the car a few years ago, and last season he'd hired Haruka, one of the most well-known racers in Tokyo, to drive it for him in the nationals. She'd fallen in love with the car the first time she'd sat behind the wheel, and together they had managed to become the new Japanese Grand National Champions for the year…it was one of her favorite memories. Since she was going to die, she wanted to do it in that car.
At first she considered taking it out on the track and running one of the curves too fast. The car would flip and probably explode, and she'd be dead in a matter of seconds. But that would be such a waste of a really fantastic work of art. The car was too special to be destroyed like that, and besides, it didn't belong to her. But there was always more than one way.
Weaving her way in and around the piles of tools, tires and spare parts, she reached another door. This one was unlocked, and beyond it she found what she was looking for. She recognized the sleek bodywork even under the long white dropcloth that draped over it, protecting the new paint job. With a reverence that was close to religious, she carefully pulled the cloth back to reveal the glossy blue hood and dark, luxurious interior. Uranus nodded. "I love this car," she said out loud, to no one in particular. As she reached out to open the door, she caught the faint reflection of her own face in the window. She realized that she was still in senshi form, and considered detransforming. But…no. She wanted to die this way, as a soldier. She was a traitor and a danger to her sister soldiers, but she was still a Sailor Senshi and she would die that way.
Uranus opened the car door and slid under the dashboard for a moment, searching for some wires. After a few moments the engine roared to life, almost impossibly loud. She shook her head. These things were so easy to hotwire…you'd think that with such expensive cars, the owners would take a few more security precautions. Straightening up, she went over to a cabinet above the small sink and pulled down several ragged towels, the ones the mechanics used for cleaning their hands, mopping up oil, and wiping down greasy parts. She soaked the towels in water from the sink and then went to the small doors on either side of the room, stuffing the wet terrycloth into the cracks below. There. That would do it. She turned to look at the back of the car, which was already spitting out clouds of black exhaust, and she nodded. It shouldn't take too long. An hour at most.
She returned to the car, this time sitting down in the driver's seat and pulling the door shut. There was a helmet on the passenger's side, which she put on. The seatbelt was fastened securely, and the windows were rolled down. Once everything was in place, she leaned back in the seat, her hands on the wheel. Her eyes closed, and she waited.
Of course, exhaust wasn't the most romantic way to go. It would have been far more dramatic to have struck pavement when she threw herself off the apartment roof, or even to have been killed by the jaki while defending the Princess that she had just injured. But fate (or rather, those interfering Guardians) did not seem to think that she deserved even that much dignity. Oh well. It wasn't like she could ever redeem herself now, anyway. She was determined to pay the price for her crimes, to remove the threat to her friends. She was going to die no matter what the Guardians tried to do about it. They would not stop her, not this time.
She coughed a little as the heavy, poisonous smoke grew thicker. It smelled awful, like burning oil and pungent gasoline, but she didn't mind too much. Oil and gas ran in her veins like blood. She was used to them. Gas meant speed, and speed meant wind, and wind meant life. She was suddenly struck with the irony. Here she was, dying, and she felt so alive. One by one, she called to mind the faces of her friends: Ami, with her sweet intelligence and surprising stubborness. Rei, with her passion and spirit. Makoto, a living contradiction of strength and sensitivity. Minako, the cheerful dreamer. Hotaru, who was ever a mystery. Setsuna, wise and quiet and ageless. Odango, whose purity and undemanding love of all life was a never-ending source of both admiration and consternation. And Michiru. Elegant, beautiful, artistic. Like a dream. As much as she cared for the others, they all paled in comparison to her exquisite partner.
Michiru had been the one to awaken Uranus to her destiny as a Sailor Soldier. She had been the one to instill in her the vibrance, the sense of duty, that came with their mission. Michiru had been her best friend, her sister, her soul mate. Uranus could not remember anything significant about her life before Michiru. She hadn't really started to live until Michiru had entered her world. And without Michiru, she would be dead anyway. Michiru had always been the truly strong one. Sure, Uranus had the ability to knock heads together. She'd always manhandled her way through every obstacle, fighting with her heart. She was angered too easily. She loved too easily. She startled too easily. She was like a raging tornado. Michiru was a glassy ocean, a foundation of calm and peace. And while Michiru wore her heart on her sleeve and kept her feelings separate from her work, Uranus had always hidden her emotions away, using her battles as an excuse to release them. She had never been strong enough to control them the way her partner did.
Her head felt like it was made of lead, and she couldn't have opened her eyes now if she'd wanted to. She was sleepy. She couldn't even smell the exhaust now; she'd forgotten where she was, what she was doing and why she was doing it. She just wanted to sleep. As her conscious mind slowly drifted away, she remembered, somewhere in a deep part of her brain, that it was a holiday. "Happy Valentine's Day, Michiru," she mumbled wearily, and then everything was dark and quiet.

Orion couldn't even see the car through the cloud of exhaust that billowed out to greet her when she kicked the door in. The wet towels on the floor had obstructed the door's regular operation, and Orion was in no mood to wait. The door came down and the thick black smoke came out, and she entered the small room. The roar from the racecar's engine was deafening; she could scarcely decide whether her hands were best employed over her eyes to shield them from the stinging exhaust, or over her ears to protect them from the brain-shaking noise. However when she reached the car, her dilemma was solved, as both hands were needed to open the door, unfasten the seatbelt, and pull Uranus' lifeless form from the front seat. Another mighty kick caved in the outer door, and Orion carried the unconscious soldier out into the fresh evening air.
It was dark outside now, and the stars were shining brightly in this part of the city, where the lights of the major highways and motels were a good distance away. The garage was illumined with a soft glow as Sailor Orion summoned her music sphere.
"Heavenly Symphony!" she sang softly, and the lighted sphere began to hum its sweet melody, pulsing to the rhythm as its cleansing power enveloped Uranus' body, purifying all traces of the poisonous exhaust from her heart, lungs and brain. Orion gazed down at the racer's lovely face with sadness. This was all her fault. This poor girl had suffered too much at her hands. Somehow she had to make it right.
After a minute or two, the sphere had done its work, and Uranus' eyelids fluttered. Orion swallowed hard, knowing that the younger girl's reaction to her was not going to be good. Sure enough, when the gray eyes opened and focused on the Sacrificial Soldier, the first thing that came out of Uranus' mouth was a curse. It was followed by, "Not again."
The Soldier of Earth propped herself up on her elbows and scooted backwards away from Sailor Orion. "Just what the hell do you think you're doing?" she demanded in a voice hoarse from exposure to the acrid smoke. "Can't you just leave me alone?" The old hate was back in full force, and Uranus would have attacked the taller girl except for one small problem; her body had taken so much punishment today that it would no longer obey her. She did not have the strength to use her legs. And once the initial burst of rage had passed, a despair set in that was even stronger than the fury. Uranus turned away, her muscles trembling. "Look, Orion. I'm trying to keep you safe. I'm trying to keep all the senshi safe from whatever monsterous thing I'm becoming. So please…get away from me. Leave me alone. You and your Guardians, all of you, just stay out of it and let me DIE!!"
"Uranus, listen to me. You are not the monster. I am." Orion's silvery voice shook. "And I'm going to prove it to you. There's absolutely nothing wrong with you."
Uranus, struck by the desperation in the other soldier's tone, turned to meet her eyes. "What do you mean?"
Orion held out a gloved hand hesitantly. "Come with me, and I'll show you."
Uranus' gaze traveled from the silver eyes to the outstretched fingers and back again. Deep inside the thought of even touching the other girl repulsed her; but the depression was too much. She had no reason to hate this girl, no reason not to trust her. Orion was offering a way out of this horrible circle of rage and hopelessness that she'd been locked into. For Michiru's sake, she couldn't just ignore it. Uranus gritted her teeth, and gripped the offered hand.
Orion bit her lip, as the physical contact only served as a conduit for Uranus' roiling emotions. They were so frenzied and so full of suffering that she nearly cried out, but she clamped down on them, hard. This was not the time. With a nod, she lifted her opal bracelet, and the Music Sphere started to glow brightly again. This time, when she called on her Symphony power, the melody was different. Uranus recognized it, vaguely, and as the Sphere started to swell and grow bigger, she knew what was happening. They were going inside the Sphere, just as they had when Orion had explained to the Senshi about her past life as the Prince of Darkness. It meant that Orion was about to show her something concerning the past, and Uranus was certain that whatever it was, she wasn't going to like it.
They found themselves standing in the middle of the sphere, and just as before it was as if they were somehow walking in the middle of space. Complete blackness surrounded them on all sides, peppered with tiny twinkling stars like little gemstones suspended in midair. It was particularly disconcerting to look down and find that the stars were below her feet as well as overhead, and Uranus turned to Orion.
"Okay, we're here. Show me whatever it is." She couldn't keep the sharpness out of her tone, even though she tried. The girl disgusted her.
Orion inclined her head. "Michiru wanted me to make you promise something first."
Uranus' eyes narrowed. "You spoke with Michiru?"
"She was worried about you."
"Humph." She crossed her arms. "And exactly what promise does Michiru want me to make?"
"Not to kill me, once you've seen what I'm going to show you."
One blond eyebrow shot up. "It's that bad, huh?"
The silver eyes were grave. "You have no idea."
Uranus gave one of her sarcastic half smiles. "In that case," she smirked, raising her right hand and placing the other one exaggeratedly over her heart, "I do solemnly swear not to kill you after this." She wiggled her eyebrows. "Happy now?"
Orion sighed. "Uranus, before you see this, I just want you to know something." She took a deep breath. "I am so, so sorry." Before Uranus could think of a reply, the colassal Sailor had turned and waved her hand, and the two were suddenly standing in the middle of a large field of brilliant green grass.
Uranus' breath caught. The sky was bluer and brighter than any she'd ever seen before, so beautiful that she thought she might never tear her eyes away. But she did tear her eyes away, because she suddenly heard an oddly familiar voice. It was singing. She turned around, and there, sitting on a large rock, was a young girl.
She had her back to them, but she was wearing a navy blue gown that looked as though it must have been expensive. It was oddly old-fashioned, with a laced bodice, off-the-shoulder sleeves, and a very long, full skirt. She had long sandy blond hair, and she was busily combing it while singing quietly in a very low, rich tenor that was surprising coming from such a dainty-looking girl.
Uranus frowned, and leaned towards Orion. "Who is that?" she demanded.
Orion smiled sadly. "You mean you don't know?"
Uranus turned to look at the girl again, and this time, the girl twisted around to brush the other side. Her face came into view…high cheekbones, strong nose, delicate jawline and soft gray eyes. Uranus' mouth dropped open and she took a step backwards. "That's…" her eyes went from the girl's face to Orion's and back again in utter disbelief.
"That's ME?!"