Now, I've got the snazzy red leather boots on. They are very comfortable. I can't help but worry about Tinea or something. Who knows where Terri had been?
Okay, Trish or wicked bitch, I mean witch has vanished now. If only things were this easy in real life. Glinda/Linda, the good witch, whatever, is smiling at me. I just smile politely in return. Oh, god, I think she is hitting on me. Why can't I just dream about good looking men??
'How do I get home?' I ask Linda.
'Dear, you are home,' she replies. NUH UH!!
"'Hun, you are tripping" I reply. There is no way on earth I am staying in this freaky world.
'You could go and ask the Wizard to send you home,' Linda tells me. Of course there would be a Wizard. Why wouldn't there be? With all of these witches, there has to be some male equivalent.
'How do I get to the Wizard?' I ask.
'You follow the yellow brick road.' She replies. I look at the ground, and realize I am indeed standing on a yellow brick path.
Oh dear lord, they are singing again.
"You're off to see the Wizard The Wonderful Wizard of Oz You'll find he is a whiz of a Wiz If ever a Wiz there was. If ever oh ever a Wiz there was The Wizard of Oz Is one because Because, because, because, because, because... Because of the wonderful things he does...."
Ugh. I wonder if this place has any Midol. I could definitely use some at the moment. Okay, follow the yellow brick road. That's what I'm doing. I start off at the middle, and walk around in circles for a brief moment. How invigorating. Dammit. I see the little brick sticking out of the path too late, and it sends me tumbling to the ground, right on my ass. "God dammit!!!" I yelp. All the teeny weenies are staring at me. I guess swearing isn't something one does in tiny town. Just smile, get up and continue walking. And I'm off again, this time watching my step. And so my adventure begins...
Now munchkin-less, thank God, I am following this darn yellow brick road, following, following, follow, follow, follow, follow, follow the yellow brick road. Ahhhhhhh, now, I'm going to be singing that song all day.
The first sign of life I see, well apart from the nagging dog following me, do you think if I kick it, it will run off? Yeah, first sign of life I see is a scarecrow. Yeah, I know scarecrow's aren't alive per say, but after walking for a couple of hours without any sign of life, I could sit down and have a latte with this scarecrow.
I sit down beside this scarecrow, only cause I really do need a break. What the hell was that?? I swear I just felt a hand on my shoulder. I jump up and look at the scarecrow. Matt?? Oh god, Matt Hardy is in my dream, and he's a scarecrow. Wait until I tell him that, he'll die. "Matt?! What the hell are you doing here?" The scarecrow just starts at me. Of course. He's not real, dumbass. He's just straw. His hand probably just fell against you cause you nudged it when you sat down. I'm really starting to lose it here. Lost out in the middle of nowhere, searching for a wizard and talking to a haystack. When I get back to my hotel, I'm looking into getting a catscan.
Now, what to do. There wasn't much. Two directions to go, right or left. Which way to go? She looked in both directions, exasperated to see that they both looked exactly the same. Jeez, couldn't they invest in some road signs here? "Alright Lita, you're the champ at finding out directions, god knows Matt and Jeff won't do it. Find your way here."
"I'd suggest you take the left route. Its beautiful scenery along there."
"Hey, straw-for-brains, was I talking to you?!!! No!! I didn't think so. So until then, please keep your hay trap shut!!!!" I stopped dead in my tracks. Did I just go postal on a scarecrow? Something's definitely gone wrong in my head. But someone had been speaking to me. Slowly I turned around. The scarecrow smiled at me. Last thing I remember was screaming in it's face.
Okay, Trish or wicked bitch, I mean witch has vanished now. If only things were this easy in real life. Glinda/Linda, the good witch, whatever, is smiling at me. I just smile politely in return. Oh, god, I think she is hitting on me. Why can't I just dream about good looking men??
'How do I get home?' I ask Linda.
'Dear, you are home,' she replies. NUH UH!!
"'Hun, you are tripping" I reply. There is no way on earth I am staying in this freaky world.
'You could go and ask the Wizard to send you home,' Linda tells me. Of course there would be a Wizard. Why wouldn't there be? With all of these witches, there has to be some male equivalent.
'How do I get to the Wizard?' I ask.
'You follow the yellow brick road.' She replies. I look at the ground, and realize I am indeed standing on a yellow brick path.
Oh dear lord, they are singing again.
"You're off to see the Wizard The Wonderful Wizard of Oz You'll find he is a whiz of a Wiz If ever a Wiz there was. If ever oh ever a Wiz there was The Wizard of Oz Is one because Because, because, because, because, because... Because of the wonderful things he does...."
Ugh. I wonder if this place has any Midol. I could definitely use some at the moment. Okay, follow the yellow brick road. That's what I'm doing. I start off at the middle, and walk around in circles for a brief moment. How invigorating. Dammit. I see the little brick sticking out of the path too late, and it sends me tumbling to the ground, right on my ass. "God dammit!!!" I yelp. All the teeny weenies are staring at me. I guess swearing isn't something one does in tiny town. Just smile, get up and continue walking. And I'm off again, this time watching my step. And so my adventure begins...
Now munchkin-less, thank God, I am following this darn yellow brick road, following, following, follow, follow, follow, follow, follow the yellow brick road. Ahhhhhhh, now, I'm going to be singing that song all day.
The first sign of life I see, well apart from the nagging dog following me, do you think if I kick it, it will run off? Yeah, first sign of life I see is a scarecrow. Yeah, I know scarecrow's aren't alive per say, but after walking for a couple of hours without any sign of life, I could sit down and have a latte with this scarecrow.
I sit down beside this scarecrow, only cause I really do need a break. What the hell was that?? I swear I just felt a hand on my shoulder. I jump up and look at the scarecrow. Matt?? Oh god, Matt Hardy is in my dream, and he's a scarecrow. Wait until I tell him that, he'll die. "Matt?! What the hell are you doing here?" The scarecrow just starts at me. Of course. He's not real, dumbass. He's just straw. His hand probably just fell against you cause you nudged it when you sat down. I'm really starting to lose it here. Lost out in the middle of nowhere, searching for a wizard and talking to a haystack. When I get back to my hotel, I'm looking into getting a catscan.
Now, what to do. There wasn't much. Two directions to go, right or left. Which way to go? She looked in both directions, exasperated to see that they both looked exactly the same. Jeez, couldn't they invest in some road signs here? "Alright Lita, you're the champ at finding out directions, god knows Matt and Jeff won't do it. Find your way here."
"I'd suggest you take the left route. Its beautiful scenery along there."
"Hey, straw-for-brains, was I talking to you?!!! No!! I didn't think so. So until then, please keep your hay trap shut!!!!" I stopped dead in my tracks. Did I just go postal on a scarecrow? Something's definitely gone wrong in my head. But someone had been speaking to me. Slowly I turned around. The scarecrow smiled at me. Last thing I remember was screaming in it's face.