"I'm sure this is all your fault again, you little bugger!" Obi-Wan Kenobi jogged down the hall, with his padawan, a 14-year-old Anakin Skywalker in tow.
"I haven't done anything… lately!" Obi-Wan stopped suddenly and glanced down at the teenage boy. Anakin laughed nervously. Without a word, Obi-Wan took off down the hall with Jedi speed. Anakin ran after him. "Please * huff huff * wait up, my legs aren't as long as yours!"
"Deal with it, shrimpy!" Obi-Wan continued toward the main council chamber. With their destination in sight, Obi-Wan began to slow down. A human female Jedi aged around 17 exited the council's chamber, and the door closed behind her. Obi-Wan stopped dead in his tracks to avoid hitting the closed doors.
"Master, wait- oh wow…" Anakin became distracted and looked toward the girl's posterior as she made her way down a hall. He slammed into the durasteel doors full-force.
Inside, the resulting sound echoed off the walls of the council chamber. Mace Windu put his hand over his face. The door slid open with a whoosh. Obi-Wan entered briskly, his Jedi cloak whirled about him.
"Where is your padawan, Obi-Wan?" Yoda asked from his chair. Hissing in frustration, Obi-Wan reached behind him and pulled a comatose Anakin out of thin air. His eyes were bugged out, his nose flattened and his mouth wide open, a stream of drool went down his chin to his neck.
"Is he alright?" the cone-headed Ki Adi Mundi inquired.
"Oh yes, he's fine," Obi-Wan didn't bother to glance at the unconscious youth.
"Important matters we have to discuss," Yoda began.
"Indeed, but first I have a question for you," Mace Windu knitted his fingers.
"Yes, Master?"
"Why is the boy-" One of the windows of the round room shattered, and a Devaronian tumbled through. He lay on the ground convulsing in pain for a few moments, then became still. His head snapped up and he looked around.
"Hoboy," he muttered to himself. Windu reached into his cloak and pulled out a comlink.
"Quin!" The doors to the council chamber flew open. A perturbed Quinlas Vos entered and dragged Vilmarh Grahark out by the horns. Villie cried and grumbled throughout the ordeal. "As I was saying-" Windu's comlink rang. He sighed in annoyance and answered it. "Windu speaking."
"Someone to see you, sir," the secretary-protocol droid said on the other end.
"Well?"
"Well what?"
"Who the hell is it!??"
"Ah, yes. Nute Gunray and Rune Haako, late of the Trade Federation, to deliver your food, sir."
"Gah! Let them in…" Windu hissed, displaying his frustration. The doors opened.
"Here is your order, Jedi Master Windu, as you know this delivahry is pahfectly legal, we would nevah do anything without the approval of the seh-nate," Gunray and Haako held out the bags.
"Hurry, Mace! Want poodoo platter I do!" Yoda chortled from his seat. Mace slapped a cred-note in the Nemoidian's hand and used the Force to throw them out the chamber. The doors slammed shut. Windu tossed the bags at Yoda, who caught them with the Force. They levitated over his lap as he dug through the cuisine.
"Finally, back on topic-"
"Who has the ramen?"
"What the-"
"Over here!"
"Egg-roll?"
"This way, Master Yoda."
"Dammit, ENOUGH!" Windu grabbed the food from the air and flung it out the broken window. A halting of breaks was heard, followed by several crashes. Mace sat down and smoothed his robes.
"Can we get back to the subject already?" He glanced around at the other Jedi. "Ok," he turned back to Obi-Wan. "About the boy-"
* Thwup *
"What the…"
* Shlorp! * Windu narrowed his eyes at Yoda. Yoda stopped mid-gulp, noodles hanging from his mouth. Mace gestured with his hand, and the container of noodles exploded against the far wall. Yoda harumphed and crossed his arms.
"Screw it. Yoda will tell you about your new mission." The green Jedi remained silent.
"Talking to you I am not."
"Oh for-"
"Tell Master Windu, apologize he must before speak to him I will," Yoda said to Obi-Wan.
"Master Windu-"
"I heard him."
"MMM?" Yoda glanced at Mace through the corner of his eye.
"I'm sorry."
"I am sorry, MASTER," Yoda corrected him.
"I am sorry, Master."
"With cherries on top."
"With cherries on top."
"And lotsa sugar."
"And lots of sugar."
"Ok then, speak I now will." Windu sighed and plopped back into his chair. Yoda became serious. "Returned the Sith have, know this well you do," Obi-Wan thought back to the Sith lord he had vanquished several years ago. "Reports we have received of strange activity on Coruscant itself. Investigate this you will, perhaps involved the Sith are."
"Let me get this straight, you're basing the fact that the Sith are involved on an event that took place half a decade ago?"
"Yes."
"Come on! That is ludicrous!" Obi-Wan retorted. The doors suddenly opened by themselves. A cloaked figure entered and walked to the center of the room. Or rather, it kind of waddled. "What the hell is that?" The intruder removed his hood, revealing the evil visage of none other than Darth Maul. "Is this supposed to scare us?" Obi-Wan pointed downward at the halved Sith.
"Come on now!" Maul replied.
"What are you gonna do to me? I cut off your bloody legs five years ago!"
"I'll bite your ankles off, that's what!"
"This is ridiculous." The door opened again. Supreme Chancellor Palpatine entered.
"Master Yoda, I have an urgent matter to discuss with y-" he paused and looked down at Maul. "What's this?"
"A Sith apparently," Obi-Wan answered.
"Don't you recognize me!? Back me up master!" Maul tugged on Palpatine's pant leg.
"I-I don't kn-now what y-you're talking about!" The Supreme Chancellor laughed nervously.
"Master, it's me," Maul pleaded. Palpatine kicked him away.
"I'm sure you can deal with this, masters, I must be going!" Palpatine turned to leave. Maul grabbed the edge of his robe.
"Wait for me, master!" Maul shouted as he was pulled across the floor and out the chamber.
"The Sith escapes us, we must give chase!" Ki Adi Mundi sprang to his feet.
"Oh, shut up," and agitated Mace Windu uttered.