"Master Kenobi and padawan Skywalker, report to the main council chamber," a cheery protocol droid announced.
"Not again. What have you done this time, boy!?" Obi-Wan angrily inquired of his padawan.
"Look, I didn't do anything last time! You presume too much," he crossed his arms over his chest.
"Shut up and come on," he grabbed the boy's padawan rattail and dragged him out of his room. Anakin's eyes widened and he gritted his teeth as he bounced off the floor and walls, flailing around behind his master. They rounded the corner and crashed into someone. Obi-Wan sat up and looked at the person he had knocked over. "I-I'm dreadfully sorry, I didn't mean to-" The horned being also sat up. "The Devaronian!" Obi-Wan pointed.
"Oh, and Villie is so pleased to be seeing you again too, Jedi," he rubbed the back of his head. "Is boy alright?" Vilmarh gestured toward Anakin. Obi-Wan looked at his padawan, who lay facedown on his chest, while his back was bent up and over him to the point where his feet dangled in the air above his face.
"He'll get better. I'd better go find Quinlan Vos," he started to get up.
"I'm right here, Kenobi," he shoved Vilmarh off his back and got into a crouching position. Villie mumbled a curse in Devarish. "We were coming to meet you, the council has a mission for the four of us."
"Just great…" Obi-Wan muttered.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Shortly…
"…and so you are to travel to the Coruscant underground to find information of this cloning matter," Mace Windu concluded the mission briefing.
"Are you sure about this? Last time-"
"Let us not speak of last time ever again," Windu glanced at Yoda who smiled meekly and waved.
"Villie is having one question," the Devaronian piped in.
"Yes?" Windu asked.
"Is actually more of a statement than question."
"Go on."
"Or maybe is phrase, Villie not sure."
"Just say it!" Windu thundered.
"If there is being no monies for Villie, Villie is not going with Jedi!" A snap-hiss sounded as Quin thumbed on his lightsaber. The green blade hovered below Vilmarh's chin. "As Villie was saying, Villie more than happy to go with Jedi on mission," he laughed nervously. "You can be of cutting that off now." Vos looked at Windu who nodded and cut off his saber, clipping it back to his belt. The quartet left the council room, and the door closed shut.
"Where do we get these guys?" Windu asked Plo Koon who shrugged. The door opened again. Vilmarh Grahark stuck his head in.
"We can be discussing Villie's payment later, hokay?" He flashed a fake smile and winked. Quin's hand reached in and grabbed his left horn. "'Ey stop that! Is hurting me much-much!" The Devaronian cried out. The doors closed a final time, and Mace Windu rolled his eyes.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"So, now we are to be going to my ship, the Inferno. Is no fair, Jedi want use Villie's ship, and Jedi no wanna pay Villie, is lose-lose situation."
"The galaxy's not always a fair place," Vos responded. Villie reached into a pouch on his belt and pulled out his keys. He pressed the unlock button on the activator, and the Inferno beeped twice in recognition. They started up the boarding ramp, when a large double-barreled turbo-laser canon swung out of a hidden hatch, coming to bear on them.
"What's this?" Obi-Wan cocked an eyebrow.
"This is your ship, right?" Vos asked skeptically.
"Why everybody out to get Villie? Of course is my ship! NT turn off auto-defense mechanism before Villie have to break you with blunt end of hydrospanner!"
"Oh, it's you, then," a droid's voice chirped sarcastically.
"Yes, is Villie, now behave, we are having guests!" He barked at the ship.
"I'm surprised they haven't arrested you yet," Villie hissed in reply. The NT droid hardwired into the Inferno concealed the large blaster cannon. They got onboard and Vilmarh plopped down in the pilot's seat.
"Ok, where is it we are to be going first?"
"A diner, it's located at 54839 West Struglar," Obi-Wan read from his datapad.
"Fine, Villie know just the place," he threw several switches and the Inferno hummed to life. The ship lurched forward, then smashed into the wall of the hangar behind them. Vilmarh got to his feet. "Dumb droid, why were you not telling me stupid ship is in reverse!?"
"I figured it would be more fun to let you figure it out." The others began clambering back to their seats.
"Hokay, everybody nice and cozy now? Maybe we get started," Villie flipped several switches and the Inferno went onto its repulsors. He edged the ship forward. The Inferno left the hangar and moved into traffic. Suddenly, a flurry of alarms and sirens started going off. "What is wrong this time?" Villie frantically tried to cut off the flaring beacons.
"It's your ship and you don't know?" Obi-Wan asked impatiently.
"Figure it out, Grahark, and hurry," Vos said.
"Um," Anakin attempted to get their attention. They continued to bicker. "Master…" They paid him no mind. "GUYS!"
"WHAT?" They turned around and said simultaneously.
"We're out of gas," he pointed to a small status monitor.
"Poodoo!" Vilmarh shouted as the ship's engines died suddenly and they plunged nose-first into the abyss below them. "NT! Where is emergency fuel storage!?!?"
"Pull the lever above your head, Vilmarh," the droid replied. Villie looked at the tilted ceiling and noticed a red cord, he gave it a sharp yank. A compartment opened and a gas tank fell into his waiting grasp. It felt light. Abnormally light. Villie flipped the container over and read the note aloud, "Dear Villie, emergency gas tank is empty. Remember to replace, signed Villie." The Inferno nicked a structure, and everyone tumbled around inside. Villie grimaced and crawled onto the controls of the ship. Thinking quickly he slammed down a fist on a large green button. The Inferno stopped suddenly as a large claw extended from the belly of the vessel and clamped onto the side of a building. Obi-Wan fell forward and landing hard on the viewport. He stifled a shout and got onto his knees. Noticing the spreading crack below him, he leapt onto the back of the captain's chair.
"What we do now, Jedi?"
"Call for help, obviously," Quinlan Vos replied. He pulled out a commlink.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Shortly…
Villie muttered to himself. The four of them were in a Coruscant security air car, heading back toward the Jedi Temple. Behind them, the Inferno was being towed. Anakin leaned his chin on his hands. Quin's commlink went off, and he pulled it out to answer.
"Vos here."
"I don't want to even hear the four of you step foot back in this temple," the voice obviously belonged to an agitated Mace Windu.
"Meaning…"
"Turn around and continue the mission, unless you'd like to face my displeasure in person," Quinlan stared at Vilmarh.
"Got that, Vos out," he clicked a button the commlink and hung it on his belt. He signaled the driver and gave him to new coordinates. A few minutes later, they had arrived. They exited the air car, walking down the pathway to the diner. Vilmarh stopped walking abruptly.
"Waitaminute! No one was telling Villie that-"
"Just go in," Vos shoved the suddenly uneasy mercenary into the restaurant. An array of alien beings filled the relatively small diner. The proprietor of the establishment stood hunched over in the bar, his back facing the Jedi. Before Obi-Wan said a word, the owner turned around.
"You are welcoming to this fine grub house," the Devaronian displayed his best friendly grin.
"Krolmahr! You foul heap of gundark dung, how are things!?" Villie pushed forward and stared at his distant cousin.
"Fine, you sack of gundark entrails, known as Vilmarh," they shook hands.
"Are you going to end up killing this relative too?" Quin remarked.
"Nah, this one Villie is actually friendly-types with, I was never liking Holmar."
"You have been killing cousin Holmar!? (editor's note: see the comic Twilight)" The other Devaronian looked shocked. "Good riddance I am saying, Holmar was no good guy," he wiped his grimy hands on his stained apron.
"Telling me about it, cousin." Obi-Wan quickly placed himself between the two.
"Enough reminiscing, we are here on official Jedi business," his eyes narrowed upon Krolmahr. "Do you know anything about cloning?"
"Hehe… Krolmahr is not so sure he happy to see Villie now," he turned to his cousin. "Krolmahr was hearing you fell in with these goody-goody Jedi types." Villie recoiled and pointed at his chest.
"Krolmahr not thinking Villie has gone softy!?" Vilmarh's eyes widened.
"Well…" Krolmahr began.
"You are to be shutting of your mouth hole now before Villie send you to meet cousin Holmar," he tapped the blaster on his hip. Krolmahr gulped. Suddenly, a pair of droidekas rolled into the open. Obi-Wan and Quinlan spun around, lightsabers ignited. The droids began firing and the two Jedi rushed to destroy them. Krolmahr turned to run, but Anakin flipped onto the bar top and held the tip of his ignited lightsaber at the Devaronian's neck. The blue blade cast an eerie light over Krolmahr's frightened face. Seeing his opportunity, Villie grabbed the nearest Twilek dancing girl and headed for the exit. Anakin kicked him on the side of the face and pulled Villie's blaster into his hand using the Force. He quickly pumped two low charge stun bolts into him and returned his focus to Krolmahr. Anakin noticed a switch on the side of the bar. He tapped it with his toe. The hologram of the two droidekas faded.
"Masters!" Anakin yelled at the two, who continued slicing up the table where the droids had been. They ceased their frenzy, allowing a pair of frightened Nemoidians to crawl out from beneath the remains of their booth. Although unharmed, their clothing was sliced and the taller one appeared ready to have a heart attack. Both were hyperventilating.
"Weah noa doin nothing!" One of them gasped.
"I know these two," Obi-Wan noticed. Sure enough, it was none other than Nute Gunray and Rune Haako.
"Enough with the trickery, Krolmahr, show us the cloning technology," Anakin demanded.
"Fine, fine! Krolmahr give in, as long as you are not hurting me with that thing," he lead the three Jedi and two Nemoidians into the back. "See? This is cloning machine," he scribbled something on a piece of paper and inserted it into the cream colored box. In a few seconds, a second sheet came out onto a tray. He removed both durasheets. "Now you are seeing? This is original, and this is clone," he waved the pieces of paper in the air. Obi-Wan's eyes widened and something snapped in his head.
"Let's go back to the temple," he said in a flat voice.
"Yeah…" Quin replied in the same monotone. They turned around and moved toward the exit. Vos grabbed Villie's boot and dragged him as they left the diner.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Mace Windu strode down the hall toward the debriefing room. The door slid open and he nearly walked into Obi-Wan and Quinlan. In the unlit room, their eyes seemed to glow red.
"How did the mission go?" They did not reply. "Is there something wrong?"
"I think I feel the dark side coming over me," Vos murmured aloud.
"Me too…" Obi-Wan agreed in the same unusual voice. They quickly drew their lightsabers and ignited them.
"Uh, guys…" Mace became antsy.
"Get him…" they said in unison.
Yoda shuffled down the corridor.
"What perhaps is taking Mace so long?" He leaned on his gimer stick. The sudden pounding of feet startled him. "Mmm?" The Jedi Master's ears perked up. A frantic Mace Windu raced toward him, his cloak fluttered in the air behind him. Obi-Wan and Quinlan bounded after him, lightsabers drawn. "Oh no…"
"Master Yoda!" Windu scooped him up by the cloak. Yoda climbed up onto his back and sat in the pouch of his hood.
"What is going on, Mace?!"
"I'm not certain, but we are in mortal danger…" A shaft suddenly opened in the floor as a tile slid away. Mace leaped over it and continued down toward the Council chamber. Vilmarh stuck his head out, he noticed the two crazed Jedi rushing toward him.
"Poodoo! Why is always happening to poor Villie!?"