Disclaimer: Kenshin's not mine – if he were, I'd have to give him to my best friend anyway. ;) And the only Sano I own is the imaginary one sleeping on my floor. sigh And, obviously, I don't own anyone else in this story either.
AN: Um… this is just random Kenshin-Kaoru fluffiness I wrote at work one day while I was waiting for my stupid program to evaluate itself…
Enough
She sat on the wooden porch of the dojo, enjoying the autumn sunset for all it was worth. The days were getting shorter as winter approached, and soon the sun would set even before they had finished practicing and washed for dinner.
But for now, the sun was still burning – albeit low – in the sky when she and Yahiko had finished their exercises for the day and retired to their respective rooms to change. Dinner had been a lonely affair despite Yahiko's attempts to make up for their missing friends by being even louder than usual; Kenshin and Sanosuke were gone, discussing something or other with Saitoh.
That was what made her the angriest. Kenshin had left, and he hadn't told her *why*. She knew he was only leaving to speak with the sharp-eyed police officer, but he wouldn't have done so unless the matter was important. And the fact that he wouldn't tell her what that matter *was* only confirmed her suspicions.
Her foot tapped out an agitated rhythm in the dust below her sandal. He was going to get it when he got back, that was for sure. She was already preparing the very lines she would use, the hand gestures and expressions she would implement in order to make her lecture an effective one.
Because no matter how many times she told him not to go, he always did. And one of these times he wasn't going to come back.
She *needed* him to come back.
The sun sank lower and lower, slipping below the horizon and she hadn't even noticed until the dark velvet of night had encompassed her, the fireflies lighting up the trees like a thousand tiny lights, flickering in and out of existence with a steady randomness that was somehow comforting.
Yahiko had most likely gone to bed; she smiled as she thought of him, of how much he truly did mean to her and of what a wonderful person he was growing up to be. She'd never told him - perhaps she should - how proud he made her.
But her thoughts kept on sliding back to Kenshin, back to the red-haired rurouni who was currently the reason she was out here. All she could see in her mind's eye was his smiling face, blue eyes catching the starlight and shining like sapphires, a glow that she never wanted to see turn into...
Into the yellow, cat-eyed gaze of the battousai. She shivered although the night was warm; the very thought of those eyes chilled her to the core and threatened to bring tears to her own eyes. She couldn't stand for Kenshin to go back to that. She didn't want to think about that.
So she tried to clear that from her mind, looking out across the yard and focusing on the gate that led out to the street, as if she could make Kenshin walk through it by will alone.
As if on cue, the gate swung open – she was so shocked that she nearly fell over; she hadn't expected her wish to actually come true. But there he was, slipping soundlessly through the wooden door and now walking across the yard towards her.
As he neared her, his features filled with slight concern to see her sitting there, looking as if she were on the brink of anger. He stopped before her and looked down as she stood to meet him, hands on her hips.
"Kaoru-dono? What is it?" He blinked at her with that look - that innocent look that so perfectly hid his age and knowledge and sins... That look that she never wanted him to lose, that look that encompassed all her happiness and placed it in the delicate features before her.
"I'm very angry with you," she said, making sure to keep her voice firm and unwavering, standing up to shake a finger at him for emphasis.
"Oro?" He blinked, then regained his composure. "What... what did I do?" he asked.
"Oh, I'll tell you what you did. You ran off without telling me *why*, that's what you did! Kenshin, I'm your friend. I... I *care* about you."
That was no good. She'd almost said "I love you."
He blinked again. "But – but I told you, Sano and I were going to speak with Saitoh –"
"Oh, no!" she cut him off. "That's *all* you said – and like I just told you, you didn't tell me *why*! It's important, Kenshin!" She paused. "I… I don't… "
She had to stop doing that. The words "I don't want to lose you again" had nearly fallen from her lips that time.
He looked down, his gaze falling beneath her harsh words. "Gomen nasai, Kaoru-dono. But.. there are some things I can't tell you -"
"That's where you're wrong, Mr. Himura!" she cried, regaining her composure, and his gaze rose from the ground to meet hers as confusion sparkled in those blue eyes of his. "You're wrong, because I need to look out for you, because I need to... to keep you from…"
She trailed off again, realizing the sheer uselessness of her words, realizing that she couldn't possibly begin to do what she had been about to tell him.
She didn't have the strength to save him from himself. She wished, *prayed*, for such strength, but she knew as well as he did that she did not possess it.
He was smiling, a small smile up at her, his eyes soft as the light from the fireflies danced across his face.
"Kaoru-dono, I'm the one that's supposed to protect *you*," he said softly.
She blinked, feeling tears well up in her eyes, angry at them, at her inability to do that which needed to be done.
"No!" she cried, her hands balling into fists and the first of the tears trailing down her face. "No, Kenshin, you don't understand. I... I *want* to protect you. I want you... to be happy. I don't want you to have to suffer any more."
She hung her head, watching the tears from her eyes fall to the ground, spattering the dirt soundlessly.
Suddenly she felt hands on her shoulders - a touch so light it could have been the air, but she knew it was Kenshin, saw his chest before her and she raised her head, immediately caught in his eyes, still shining with starlight.
"Kaoru-dono," he said softly. "I don't suffer when you're around. You *do* protect me. Just by being there."
"But it's not enough!" she insisted, more tears streaming down her cheeks, forgetting to even feel anything due to his close proximity, the moment lost to her anger with herself and the terrible things that this man before her put himself through. That she could do nothing to alleviate.
"It is enough," he said. "You are enough."
And suddenly his lips were touching hers, brushing her own with that same liquid-light touch, barely there and yet so real before her that she could do nothing to deny his existence -
She felt her body go limp in his arms, fell into him as her eyes shut, doing nothing to stop the flood of tears from coursing down her cheeks.
He held her to him, strong arms wrapped around her body and bringing her closer to his; she could feel the soft fabric of his shirt brushing against her cheek. It smelled like him, it smelled like starlight and water and air and sweat and it smelled good.
"Kaoru-dono, you do more than enough for me," he said, his voice a whisper in her ear, his heartbeat a song against her chest. She slid her arms around him, hugging him to her as tightly as she could, and she never wanted to let go.
"Kenshin."
"You don't need to worry about me, Kaoru. I'll be fine. I have you." He paused for the briefest of instants before adding, softly, "That I do."
And suddenly he'd slipped out of her grasp like a breeze shifting through the trees. She turned, blinking as he stepped up onto the porch, walking towards the doorway.
She held her hand to her chest, where she could feel her heartbeat fluttering in her own chest.
He turned, outlined in soft yellow lantern-light, almost a ghost in the night, suddenly a vision of air and water and not a solid form before her.
"It's late, Kaoru-dono. We have work to do tomorrow. You should get some sleep."
And he smiled at her, that innocent, child-like smile, and turned and soundlessly disappeared into the dojo.
"Kenshin," she whispered, his name warm on her lips, and dropped her hand to her side.
"I love you," she whispered to the space where he had been, and stepped up onto the porch and through the doorway.
The air behind her stirred once with a silent breeze, and the night was silent once more.