I dreaded going to school on Monday. I knew that all the 7th graders who had been at the library Saturday night would have by that time spread the word around that Jana had broken up with me and Keith had broken up with Beth so that they could go together. It was that kind of gossip that would have kids going for weeks, whispering behind my back and stopping to stare when I passed by. I was aware, though, that a lot of people would be on my side instead of Jana's because, I mean, breaking up with your boyfriend to go out with your BEST FRIEND'S boyfriend is just considered *cruel*. Still, I hadn't liked all the attention I had gotten thanks to this experiment anyway, and this would be, by far, the worst.
When I got back Sunday morning I didn't even tell my mom what had happened. I pretty much kept to my room with the excuse that I was really tired and had some homework to catch up on. I could tell she knew something was wrong, but she knew better then to ask me about it by now. I didn't want to fill her in on the latest developments- I already knew what she'd say- what she'd already said a million billion times: tell Jana how you feel, talk things out, yada yada yada. But talking with Jana had become one of the last things I wanted to do. For one thing, I had no idea what I'd say to her if I did get up the nerve to confront her. But mainly, I was just so *mad* at her. I lay on my bed almost all day Sunday, a million questions still flying around in my mind, trying to figure out why she would do something like this? To meto Beth? The Jana I knew would never do something so mean. What had happened? When had she changed so much?
But the biggest thing that bothered me was, when had she fallen for Keith? I must have run through the last couple months a dozen times that day. I tried to remember anything, ANYTHING that was a clue that she wanted to date him. But I couldn't think of a thing. She had never talked about him with me, never flirted with him...at least not that I knew of. And I guess that was the key. Something must have been going on that I didn't know about. And she had just been waiting for the right time to break up with me. Of course, dating Keith had been her reason for splitting... not that dumb thing about dating other people to see if we were right for each other. I should have KNOWN that reason was too stupid to be true. But I just couldn't see Jana being so back-handed. She just wasn't like that. Or at least what I knew of her. But I was starting to wonder if maybe I didn't know her as well as I thought I did.
I wasn't just mad at Jana, though. I was ready to kill Keith. What a jerk! Keith had done some pretty immature things before but nothing topped this. What kind of a jerk broke up with his girlfriend to go out with his girlfriend's best friend... and the best friend being the girlfriend of one of his OWN good friends! Just who did he think he was anyway?! And what did Keith have that I didn't? I guess Keith would be considered good looking, and he had a reputation for being crazy, but a lot of fun. I certainly wasn't the crazy type, at least not like him, but did that make me boring? Jana always seemed to have fun when we were together- as much fun as I had with her. So what was it? I was ready to go nuts with just THAT much in my mind, but then I thought of something else. Something that didn't add up.
If Jana had really been interested in KEITH all this time, why in the world had she gone out with Parker? Wouldn't that have bothered Keith? Keith had been split from Beth at the time Jana and Parker went out- was Jana mad that Keith hadn't asked her out sooner and trying to hurry him up or something? Or was it part of their plan to throw people off track for awhile. I had never been so confused in my life. I wished I could talk to somebody about all of it- see what they could make of it. But I really didn't want my mom's same advice over again, and I certainly couldn't talk to Scott or Mark about it. Guys just didn't talk about these kind of things. Ironic how the person who would be perfect to talk with at a time like this was Jana.
That night my dreams were a confusing tangle of recent events- I wandered around trying to figure things out, trying to ask Jana what had happened to change things-her- so much. But when I opened my mouth, the only thing that came out was 'why? why?' Jana never answered, and everytime I stretched my arm out to touch her, she was always right out of reach. And no matter where I followed her, I couldn't catch up.
I tried not to think about what the dream could mean.