What I Have Become
I am afraid. Afraid of you, afraid of me, afraid of the world that has come to be.
I am confused, I am alone, I have a heart made of stone.
I show no emotion to the outside world, I remain in hiding, why should I leave my place, this pain has no chance of subsiding.
I take a look out a crack, which I call my window, I see no one, but I sense my foe.
She senses me as I devise a plan of action, I keep hiding, I will not let her get me, I will not give her that satisfaction.
She can sense me, but can she sense my heart ache? If she finds me, she will imprison me, my soul hers to take.
I am going insane, will nothing ease my pain?
I miss him with everything I am composed of, he will always be the one that I love.
But here I go again, confused without a doubt,
She is nearing me, I see her, I must leave this place, I must move out.
I glide ever so quietly, to try to escape with my liberty.
I remain free to continue my quest,
but the pain has returned, I cannot exist without him, and so I must rest.
I hide behind a tree, hoping, praying she will not find me.
"It is only a matter of time, so just fight me and get it over with..."
Easy for her to say, she knows she will reign victorious in the battle today.
I am not ready to be imprisoned forever to live a life of servitude, I refuse! She is evil, heartless and crude.
I will never be hers to command, no, I will stay here, here where I stand.
Still there is a kind ring in her voice, but she wants to lock me up, shouldn't I have a say, it should be my choice!
"I do not wish to hurt you, I promise! I know you are searching for answers, perhaps I can provide you with them."
Can I trust her? That girl....she is the one I despise! She wants to capture me within her web of lies.
Suddenly another joins her at her side, he reminds me of him...long ago, before he died...
"I thought you were going to call me before you went, I thought we were partners! How could you be so stupid, you could have
fallen into a trap...you dont even realize the danger your in! You can easily be KILLED, especially in the state your in..."
He seems so angry with her, but he only wants to protect her from harm's way,
I gaze into his soul and I can relate to the pain he feels each day.
He is afraid much like me, but he must tell her, truth is the key.
I loved him dearly, he sacrificed so much power to save me...
No one knows how truly special he was not only magically, but romantically.
I look back on the memories that we share, we could have made a perfect pair.
If only it had turned out that way, now he will never know how thankful I am to him, I pray for his re-incarnation each day.
I hope one day we will reunite, I only wish it could be tonight.
There, they stare at each other still,...wait why do i care, she is the target, the one I must kill...
"Listen...we have to capture this card, she is a special one.."
"I know...but maybe, maybe she has a reason for hiding, ...maybe..maybe she's living in fear..." the boy looked at her in
amazement, she had deep sympathy for this inhuman, emotionless ...being? Why? "She tried to destroy you..why can't you understand that.."
"Why can't YOU understand...Syaoran there is something about her, not only do I sense her prescence...I ...I feel her pain...
I can't...capture her...besides she's long gone..." Syaoran looked at her in confusion.
"I don't get you, you were the one that swore revenge upon her..."
"Look...Syaoran, I just...can't explain this to you...it goes deep..really deep...something you may never understand...
on some level..." she inhaled slowly, and exhaled softly, " I share ....her pain..."
Syaoran stared at his cherry blossom, she turned on her heel and walked the other way knowing she hid in the opposite direction..
"Sakura, dont let your judgement be clouded, your a card captor no matter what her sob story may be..."
"Your wrong Syaoran...and as a direct descendent of Clow I am surprised you do not see, the pain that lies within me.."
I watch the Mistress leave without a second thought, was her plan to leave me here alone to die and rot?
No, there was something sincere in her stride, she could have captured me single handedly had she tried...
Why did she turn away? Perhaps she understood...nevertheless..we shall meet again..someday...
**************************************************
"Sakura I just don't understand how you could let her go, she tried to...she almost...SHE TRIED TO KILL YOU!" he spoke with such fury
such heart.
"But I'm alive now aren't I?"
"Ya but...she nearly succeded" he replied in a voice so low.
"Well Syaoran, if I didnt know better I'd say you cared for me" she smiled slightly.
"Sakura! Don't even joke about that! I..I...never want you to doubt my feelings for you..."
"Which would be?" Sakura questioned hopeful. Syaoran blushed. Sakura remained intrigued stepping forward..closer as he wrapped his
arms around her getting closer together in the moonlight shining in from her bedroom window...
"I..." Their faces neared, only inches apart, nearing closer, closer ...even closer bodies almost fused together when...
"Sakura did you seal it?" exclaimed the Guardian of the Seal.
"KERO!!! DONT DO THAT"
"DO what?" Kero cried in his defense knowing how close the gaki came to smootching his mistress.
Sakura sighed while Syaoran kicked himself for not telling her... Even after all these years, so many years of waiting!
He was 18, she was 17 (nearly 18), he fell in love with her from the moment he saw her, but refused to get involved...
Now...now he regretted so much wasted time...especially now...
'My dreams are warning me ...I know it...she's in danger...if only you knew Sakura..'
"Yoohoo Syaoran?"
"Uh sorry..."
"So where's the card?" Kero questioned once more.
"I...didn't capture it Kero.."
"She couldn't do it...."
"Sakura...I dont..understand..."
"Listen Kero, it's in a lot of pain..I felt it...I know how it feels."
"And how do you know this pain it feels???"
"Because...because...because..."
"BECAUSE??"
"Because....I HAVE THE SAME PAIN THE SAME HEART ACHE!"
"SAKURA! IT"S A CARD IT DOESNT HAVE FEELINGS! IT"S A STUPID CARD!"
"NO! Your wrong! Kero, your very wrong! It s so much more than a mere card...I can't understand why you can't see that but...it doesnt matter
I am the Card Mistress and I decide what to do...I would appreciate it if you both would just trust my judgement..."
"DAMMIT SAKURA SHE NEARLY TOOK YOU AWAY FROM ME!"
****************************************************
I am afraid. Afraid of you, afraid of me, afraid of the world that has come to be.
I am confused, I am alone, I have a heart made of stone....
This is it, I am a card now, my fate, to exist without him someway...somehow
R&R PLZ! Just for the hell of it cause I still have writers block on "Why" so lemme know what you think,
if a lot of people actually enjoyed this I ll continue with an explanation....and by the way it is suppose to be confusion,
it's kinda my style lol! Luv ya!
I am afraid. Afraid of you, afraid of me, afraid of the world that has come to be.
I am confused, I am alone, I have a heart made of stone.
I show no emotion to the outside world, I remain in hiding, why should I leave my place, this pain has no chance of subsiding.
I take a look out a crack, which I call my window, I see no one, but I sense my foe.
She senses me as I devise a plan of action, I keep hiding, I will not let her get me, I will not give her that satisfaction.
She can sense me, but can she sense my heart ache? If she finds me, she will imprison me, my soul hers to take.
I am going insane, will nothing ease my pain?
I miss him with everything I am composed of, he will always be the one that I love.
But here I go again, confused without a doubt,
She is nearing me, I see her, I must leave this place, I must move out.
I glide ever so quietly, to try to escape with my liberty.
I remain free to continue my quest,
but the pain has returned, I cannot exist without him, and so I must rest.
I hide behind a tree, hoping, praying she will not find me.
"It is only a matter of time, so just fight me and get it over with..."
Easy for her to say, she knows she will reign victorious in the battle today.
I am not ready to be imprisoned forever to live a life of servitude, I refuse! She is evil, heartless and crude.
I will never be hers to command, no, I will stay here, here where I stand.
Still there is a kind ring in her voice, but she wants to lock me up, shouldn't I have a say, it should be my choice!
"I do not wish to hurt you, I promise! I know you are searching for answers, perhaps I can provide you with them."
Can I trust her? That girl....she is the one I despise! She wants to capture me within her web of lies.
Suddenly another joins her at her side, he reminds me of him...long ago, before he died...
"I thought you were going to call me before you went, I thought we were partners! How could you be so stupid, you could have
fallen into a trap...you dont even realize the danger your in! You can easily be KILLED, especially in the state your in..."
He seems so angry with her, but he only wants to protect her from harm's way,
I gaze into his soul and I can relate to the pain he feels each day.
He is afraid much like me, but he must tell her, truth is the key.
I loved him dearly, he sacrificed so much power to save me...
No one knows how truly special he was not only magically, but romantically.
I look back on the memories that we share, we could have made a perfect pair.
If only it had turned out that way, now he will never know how thankful I am to him, I pray for his re-incarnation each day.
I hope one day we will reunite, I only wish it could be tonight.
There, they stare at each other still,...wait why do i care, she is the target, the one I must kill...
"Listen...we have to capture this card, she is a special one.."
"I know...but maybe, maybe she has a reason for hiding, ...maybe..maybe she's living in fear..." the boy looked at her in
amazement, she had deep sympathy for this inhuman, emotionless ...being? Why? "She tried to destroy you..why can't you understand that.."
"Why can't YOU understand...Syaoran there is something about her, not only do I sense her prescence...I ...I feel her pain...
I can't...capture her...besides she's long gone..." Syaoran looked at her in confusion.
"I don't get you, you were the one that swore revenge upon her..."
"Look...Syaoran, I just...can't explain this to you...it goes deep..really deep...something you may never understand...
on some level..." she inhaled slowly, and exhaled softly, " I share ....her pain..."
Syaoran stared at his cherry blossom, she turned on her heel and walked the other way knowing she hid in the opposite direction..
"Sakura, dont let your judgement be clouded, your a card captor no matter what her sob story may be..."
"Your wrong Syaoran...and as a direct descendent of Clow I am surprised you do not see, the pain that lies within me.."
I watch the Mistress leave without a second thought, was her plan to leave me here alone to die and rot?
No, there was something sincere in her stride, she could have captured me single handedly had she tried...
Why did she turn away? Perhaps she understood...nevertheless..we shall meet again..someday...
**************************************************
"Sakura I just don't understand how you could let her go, she tried to...she almost...SHE TRIED TO KILL YOU!" he spoke with such fury
such heart.
"But I'm alive now aren't I?"
"Ya but...she nearly succeded" he replied in a voice so low.
"Well Syaoran, if I didnt know better I'd say you cared for me" she smiled slightly.
"Sakura! Don't even joke about that! I..I...never want you to doubt my feelings for you..."
"Which would be?" Sakura questioned hopeful. Syaoran blushed. Sakura remained intrigued stepping forward..closer as he wrapped his
arms around her getting closer together in the moonlight shining in from her bedroom window...
"I..." Their faces neared, only inches apart, nearing closer, closer ...even closer bodies almost fused together when...
"Sakura did you seal it?" exclaimed the Guardian of the Seal.
"KERO!!! DONT DO THAT"
"DO what?" Kero cried in his defense knowing how close the gaki came to smootching his mistress.
Sakura sighed while Syaoran kicked himself for not telling her... Even after all these years, so many years of waiting!
He was 18, she was 17 (nearly 18), he fell in love with her from the moment he saw her, but refused to get involved...
Now...now he regretted so much wasted time...especially now...
'My dreams are warning me ...I know it...she's in danger...if only you knew Sakura..'
"Yoohoo Syaoran?"
"Uh sorry..."
"So where's the card?" Kero questioned once more.
"I...didn't capture it Kero.."
"She couldn't do it...."
"Sakura...I dont..understand..."
"Listen Kero, it's in a lot of pain..I felt it...I know how it feels."
"And how do you know this pain it feels???"
"Because...because...because..."
"BECAUSE??"
"Because....I HAVE THE SAME PAIN THE SAME HEART ACHE!"
"SAKURA! IT"S A CARD IT DOESNT HAVE FEELINGS! IT"S A STUPID CARD!"
"NO! Your wrong! Kero, your very wrong! It s so much more than a mere card...I can't understand why you can't see that but...it doesnt matter
I am the Card Mistress and I decide what to do...I would appreciate it if you both would just trust my judgement..."
"DAMMIT SAKURA SHE NEARLY TOOK YOU AWAY FROM ME!"
****************************************************
I am afraid. Afraid of you, afraid of me, afraid of the world that has come to be.
I am confused, I am alone, I have a heart made of stone....
This is it, I am a card now, my fate, to exist without him someway...somehow
R&R PLZ! Just for the hell of it cause I still have writers block on "Why" so lemme know what you think,
if a lot of people actually enjoyed this I ll continue with an explanation....and by the way it is suppose to be confusion,
it's kinda my style lol! Luv ya!