A Thousand Voices Cannot Echo Yours
disclaimer: I do not own anything that has to do with Gundam Wing. They are owned by companies too rich for me and I only borrow their characters to write my silly fics. Please don't sue me!!!
Relena faced Heero. "I just don't understand you sometimes. You tell me you care for me, but you can be so cold other times. Make up your mind. It seems like I'm here for your use and disuse. If you don't care about me, then let me go," she said solemnly as she walked away.
Heero's ears rung. How could she possibly think that he didn't care about her? His feelings were all jumbled, but he had never used her. Looking after her disappearing form, he stuffed his hands in his pockets, shutting out surfacing emotions.
She walked, feeling pensive and broken at the same time. She thought about so many scenarios where Heero would just sweep her off her feet, but his lack for emotions had cancelled that. How many times had she wished he would say he loved her? He never did, only coming as close to with, 'I care for you'. Tightening her jacket around her, she walked faster to the exit of the Preventer's building. Apparently coming here to see Heero was a big mistake. 'He's still the same person I knew two years ago,' she thought sadly. Hailing her limousine driver, she got in, driving away from pain into solace that could be her room.
Knowing better than to run after her, Heero packed up his work and shut his laptop. Grabbing his other necessary belongings, he decided to head home and do a little work before trying to talk to Relena. He would again visit her late in the night, as he had done so many times in the past.
Relena reached home and prepared herself mentally for Heero. She knew him well, knowing that he would come to see her tonight while she slept. She knew he gazed at her sleeping form, or half-sleeping in this case. She knew his presence, his smell and the very air he carried around him. Did he know she had been awake most of the times he had come? Did he know her heart soared every time he was in her presence? Sighing, she walked up the front stairs to be greeted by her butler Pagan and her brother.
"Relena, you look so tired. Where have you been?" asked Milliardo.
She eyed her brother curiously. "I am quite tired. Actually, I went to the Preventer's HQ to visit some people. We talked for a while, I'm sorry if I frightened you," she said apologetically.
Milliardo understood. She had gone to talk to Heero. Even after almost three years, he still hadn't trusted that boy with his baby sister. Hoping Heero hadn't hurt Relena, he prayed that her obsession with trying to change him would fade. It was only hurting her instead.
"Why don't you get some rest? You look like you could use it," Milliardo suggested.
Smiling, she hugged her brother tight. "Thanks for caring so much. I'll be fine and I will be catching some well needed sleep soon. Goodnight brother," Relena said as she ascended the stairs.
Watching his sister walk up, he hoped that Heero wouldn't have the nerve to visit his sister this night. They must have had a fight for her to be so sad. He vowed many years ago to never let people hurt him or the people he loved.
Relena slipped into her pajamas and brushed her hair, soon securing it in a long braid. She walked to her bed and slid under the cool satin sheets, hoping to get some sleep and not see his face tonight. Hand beneath the pillow, Relena stared out the window, staring at a full moon and a dark indigo sky full of bright stars. She wished upon one.
Heero rubbed his eyes. Decoding an encrypted disc, he saved his work and shut his laptop. Getting up, he decided to shower and then talk to Relena. They had issues to discuss and he wouldn't dismiss the fact that she believed he didn't care about her. Running the water, he quickly soaped himself and shampooed his hair before changing into clean clothes and making his way through the night to her.
A tear rolled down Relena's cheek as she wished upon the brightest star. She wished that Heero would tell her the truth about how he felt. She didn't care if he said he hated her, she only wished that the truth would be said so she could move on. She felt trapped in one movement, hanging by one moment in time where Heero couldn't tell her how he felt. She didn't want that, she wanted release from that emotional prison.
Heero easily scaled the outside gates and swiftly made his way through the gardens, never once faltering even in the darkest parts. He knew the entire premises like the back of his hand and he knew it even better than the occupants. Sneaking out of the shadows, he moved the scale the half trellis under her balcony and then to the pipe that jutted out the wall. Flipping himself onto her balcony silently, he peered through her sheer curtains to find her sleeping. Holding onto the knob of her double french doors, he pushed down on the lock, breaking it. Letting himself in, he moved quietly to her bed, kneeling down the see the braid pushed idly to the side. Her bangs fluttered slightly with a movement and Heero held his breath. Was she awake? Yes.
Sitting up in bed, she faced him. "What are you doing here? Don't make me call security," she threatened, voice not wavering once. She eyed him warily, knowing he would come to just feed her more lies.
"First of all, I'm head of security, so that would mean calling on me to catch me. Not logical. I'm here to explain. Hear me out, then tell me if that changes your mind," Heero said, matter-of-factly.
Frowning, she spoke again. "I won't listen to your lies Heero Yuy. I've been quite convinced that there isn't much more for you to say. You don't care about me, you never cared about me, the end," she spat, very hurt.
He didn't let her finish. Sitting on her bed, he noted her wincing when he moved forwards, but she never made a move to push him off her bed. Instead, he averted her angry eyes and began to tell her the full truth.
"Relena, how long have you known me? About five years soon, right? In the past four years, have I ever pushed you away? I know I've hurt you, and there is no denying that, but I doubt it very much that I had ever pushed you away. You are an important person to me, you know that. You're not an asset, not a client, but you're something else. Somewhere along the line of a best friend or maybe even a soulmate. When I told you I cared about you, it was true. I do and I always will," he said sternly.
Her frown began to fade. "Why couldn't you tell me that earlier? I knew you cared but I wasn't sure that I could trust you. You always seemed to hurt me when we got close, and I didn't push you to tell me more because I thought that would drive you even farther away from me. You'll always have a special place in my heart, and I do love you, more than a friend. That's my part of the truth. I had always wanted to know how you felt, but I needed more reassurance, something more than 'care' or less than it. If you can't tell me that, then I can't move on," she confessed.
Heero froze. She said she loved him, but was it time for him to say it to her? He wasn't sure if he could pursue someone he saw as 'untouchable'. He always thought that her social status put a wall between them. Gazing at her, he decided to remain silent for a bit, to contemplate.
Relena felt crushed. She knew that he didn't love her, how could he possibly? Looking down at the bed, she felt tears begin to form at the corners of her sad blue eyes. Fisting sheets, she looked at him, staring into his intense blue eyes. He always had a hold over her, and he always would.
Facing him bravely, she tried not to tremble as she spoke. "I knew you never loved me. Good thing I hadn't kept my expectations too high, otherwise I'd be bawling my eyes out," she said sarcastically. Plastering a smile on her face, she looked at him, almost daring him to speak.
His heart leapt. Surely she hadn't meant that. He did love her, he just couldn't find the words to say it. Moving forwards, he knew that now was the right time to tell her. Even though there was a chance she wouldn't believe him, he would try his hardest to make her trust him once again.
"Relena, stop now. Before you go any further, maybe you should hear me out. I know I'm not the most emotional guy, you know that. It isn't an excuse that I'm using, I'm just saying that that's the way I am. But if you really wanted to know how I felt, why didn't you ask me sooner? Like when I told you I cared about you. I would have gladly told you the truth and more. I don't want to fight and I don't want you to think that I'm some cold-hearted guy. Truth is, I do care about you a lot, and more than a friend too. I didn't want our friendship to be ruined from a relationship. That's why I neglected to say more," he said. Hoping against hope, he wished that she believed his words.
Relena nearly scoffed. "Heero, how do you expect me to believe that? If you cared about me, you'd be able to show it in better ways than what you've been doing now. I didn't ask before because I knew that you would become tight-lipped about this whole ordeal. You would have shut me out until you knew what to say, but by then I'd be too mad at you to hear you out. This is exactly what happened. I'm not mad, I just wished that I never said anything. I wish I could take back those words, take back anything I said," she said spitefully.
He winced at her words. Here he was pouring his heart out to her, and she was contradicting his every sentence. Sitting stubbornly, he refused to let her think that. "You know that you're wrong. I'm being sincere here, telling you the truth. If you had waited a moment longer after you told me you loved me, I would have said the same thing back to you. I don't know why you acted the way you did, and I'm sorry if I ever mislead you along the way," he said, before turning to leave. He'd let her think about his words before she acted. Head turning once more, he spoke again.
"Goodnight. Aishiteru," he said before leaping off her balcony, to leave her sobbing for things lost.
AN: So... how did you like it? I know there's a whole lot of OOCness going on here, but hey, I thought it would add an interesting kick to the story. Anyways, please be an awesome person and review this story. Every word counts. Thanks so much.
disclaimer: I do not own anything that has to do with Gundam Wing. They are owned by companies too rich for me and I only borrow their characters to write my silly fics. Please don't sue me!!!
Relena faced Heero. "I just don't understand you sometimes. You tell me you care for me, but you can be so cold other times. Make up your mind. It seems like I'm here for your use and disuse. If you don't care about me, then let me go," she said solemnly as she walked away.
Heero's ears rung. How could she possibly think that he didn't care about her? His feelings were all jumbled, but he had never used her. Looking after her disappearing form, he stuffed his hands in his pockets, shutting out surfacing emotions.
She walked, feeling pensive and broken at the same time. She thought about so many scenarios where Heero would just sweep her off her feet, but his lack for emotions had cancelled that. How many times had she wished he would say he loved her? He never did, only coming as close to with, 'I care for you'. Tightening her jacket around her, she walked faster to the exit of the Preventer's building. Apparently coming here to see Heero was a big mistake. 'He's still the same person I knew two years ago,' she thought sadly. Hailing her limousine driver, she got in, driving away from pain into solace that could be her room.
Knowing better than to run after her, Heero packed up his work and shut his laptop. Grabbing his other necessary belongings, he decided to head home and do a little work before trying to talk to Relena. He would again visit her late in the night, as he had done so many times in the past.
Relena reached home and prepared herself mentally for Heero. She knew him well, knowing that he would come to see her tonight while she slept. She knew he gazed at her sleeping form, or half-sleeping in this case. She knew his presence, his smell and the very air he carried around him. Did he know she had been awake most of the times he had come? Did he know her heart soared every time he was in her presence? Sighing, she walked up the front stairs to be greeted by her butler Pagan and her brother.
"Relena, you look so tired. Where have you been?" asked Milliardo.
She eyed her brother curiously. "I am quite tired. Actually, I went to the Preventer's HQ to visit some people. We talked for a while, I'm sorry if I frightened you," she said apologetically.
Milliardo understood. She had gone to talk to Heero. Even after almost three years, he still hadn't trusted that boy with his baby sister. Hoping Heero hadn't hurt Relena, he prayed that her obsession with trying to change him would fade. It was only hurting her instead.
"Why don't you get some rest? You look like you could use it," Milliardo suggested.
Smiling, she hugged her brother tight. "Thanks for caring so much. I'll be fine and I will be catching some well needed sleep soon. Goodnight brother," Relena said as she ascended the stairs.
Watching his sister walk up, he hoped that Heero wouldn't have the nerve to visit his sister this night. They must have had a fight for her to be so sad. He vowed many years ago to never let people hurt him or the people he loved.
Relena slipped into her pajamas and brushed her hair, soon securing it in a long braid. She walked to her bed and slid under the cool satin sheets, hoping to get some sleep and not see his face tonight. Hand beneath the pillow, Relena stared out the window, staring at a full moon and a dark indigo sky full of bright stars. She wished upon one.
Heero rubbed his eyes. Decoding an encrypted disc, he saved his work and shut his laptop. Getting up, he decided to shower and then talk to Relena. They had issues to discuss and he wouldn't dismiss the fact that she believed he didn't care about her. Running the water, he quickly soaped himself and shampooed his hair before changing into clean clothes and making his way through the night to her.
A tear rolled down Relena's cheek as she wished upon the brightest star. She wished that Heero would tell her the truth about how he felt. She didn't care if he said he hated her, she only wished that the truth would be said so she could move on. She felt trapped in one movement, hanging by one moment in time where Heero couldn't tell her how he felt. She didn't want that, she wanted release from that emotional prison.
Heero easily scaled the outside gates and swiftly made his way through the gardens, never once faltering even in the darkest parts. He knew the entire premises like the back of his hand and he knew it even better than the occupants. Sneaking out of the shadows, he moved the scale the half trellis under her balcony and then to the pipe that jutted out the wall. Flipping himself onto her balcony silently, he peered through her sheer curtains to find her sleeping. Holding onto the knob of her double french doors, he pushed down on the lock, breaking it. Letting himself in, he moved quietly to her bed, kneeling down the see the braid pushed idly to the side. Her bangs fluttered slightly with a movement and Heero held his breath. Was she awake? Yes.
Sitting up in bed, she faced him. "What are you doing here? Don't make me call security," she threatened, voice not wavering once. She eyed him warily, knowing he would come to just feed her more lies.
"First of all, I'm head of security, so that would mean calling on me to catch me. Not logical. I'm here to explain. Hear me out, then tell me if that changes your mind," Heero said, matter-of-factly.
Frowning, she spoke again. "I won't listen to your lies Heero Yuy. I've been quite convinced that there isn't much more for you to say. You don't care about me, you never cared about me, the end," she spat, very hurt.
He didn't let her finish. Sitting on her bed, he noted her wincing when he moved forwards, but she never made a move to push him off her bed. Instead, he averted her angry eyes and began to tell her the full truth.
"Relena, how long have you known me? About five years soon, right? In the past four years, have I ever pushed you away? I know I've hurt you, and there is no denying that, but I doubt it very much that I had ever pushed you away. You are an important person to me, you know that. You're not an asset, not a client, but you're something else. Somewhere along the line of a best friend or maybe even a soulmate. When I told you I cared about you, it was true. I do and I always will," he said sternly.
Her frown began to fade. "Why couldn't you tell me that earlier? I knew you cared but I wasn't sure that I could trust you. You always seemed to hurt me when we got close, and I didn't push you to tell me more because I thought that would drive you even farther away from me. You'll always have a special place in my heart, and I do love you, more than a friend. That's my part of the truth. I had always wanted to know how you felt, but I needed more reassurance, something more than 'care' or less than it. If you can't tell me that, then I can't move on," she confessed.
Heero froze. She said she loved him, but was it time for him to say it to her? He wasn't sure if he could pursue someone he saw as 'untouchable'. He always thought that her social status put a wall between them. Gazing at her, he decided to remain silent for a bit, to contemplate.
Relena felt crushed. She knew that he didn't love her, how could he possibly? Looking down at the bed, she felt tears begin to form at the corners of her sad blue eyes. Fisting sheets, she looked at him, staring into his intense blue eyes. He always had a hold over her, and he always would.
Facing him bravely, she tried not to tremble as she spoke. "I knew you never loved me. Good thing I hadn't kept my expectations too high, otherwise I'd be bawling my eyes out," she said sarcastically. Plastering a smile on her face, she looked at him, almost daring him to speak.
His heart leapt. Surely she hadn't meant that. He did love her, he just couldn't find the words to say it. Moving forwards, he knew that now was the right time to tell her. Even though there was a chance she wouldn't believe him, he would try his hardest to make her trust him once again.
"Relena, stop now. Before you go any further, maybe you should hear me out. I know I'm not the most emotional guy, you know that. It isn't an excuse that I'm using, I'm just saying that that's the way I am. But if you really wanted to know how I felt, why didn't you ask me sooner? Like when I told you I cared about you. I would have gladly told you the truth and more. I don't want to fight and I don't want you to think that I'm some cold-hearted guy. Truth is, I do care about you a lot, and more than a friend too. I didn't want our friendship to be ruined from a relationship. That's why I neglected to say more," he said. Hoping against hope, he wished that she believed his words.
Relena nearly scoffed. "Heero, how do you expect me to believe that? If you cared about me, you'd be able to show it in better ways than what you've been doing now. I didn't ask before because I knew that you would become tight-lipped about this whole ordeal. You would have shut me out until you knew what to say, but by then I'd be too mad at you to hear you out. This is exactly what happened. I'm not mad, I just wished that I never said anything. I wish I could take back those words, take back anything I said," she said spitefully.
He winced at her words. Here he was pouring his heart out to her, and she was contradicting his every sentence. Sitting stubbornly, he refused to let her think that. "You know that you're wrong. I'm being sincere here, telling you the truth. If you had waited a moment longer after you told me you loved me, I would have said the same thing back to you. I don't know why you acted the way you did, and I'm sorry if I ever mislead you along the way," he said, before turning to leave. He'd let her think about his words before she acted. Head turning once more, he spoke again.
"Goodnight. Aishiteru," he said before leaping off her balcony, to leave her sobbing for things lost.
AN: So... how did you like it? I know there's a whole lot of OOCness going on here, but hey, I thought it would add an interesting kick to the story. Anyways, please be an awesome person and review this story. Every word counts. Thanks so much.