Author's Note:
I know it's kind of short, but this is setting up the greater arc of the story. In terms of the time frame, think of this as current time. But, the characters are a mix of Movieverse and Comicverse: Logan is strictly movie and so is Jean's profession, but the rest are basically comic. Also, Remy and Rogue are together and have a child; this will be developed further in a later story, but think of that incident in the cave in Uncanny #350.
~ * ~
"Love does not begin and end the way we seem to think it does. Love is a battle, love is a war; love is a growing up." - James Baldwin
~ * ~
It was wrong and she knew it. But that didn't stop her from doing it anyway. She was like a moth to his flame, desiring what she knew would be her downfall, but unable to stay away. It was the same every time. She'd slip into his room like some kind of enraged angel with flaming curls and blazing eyes. "This is the last time," she'd say as she tore at his clothes and pushed him on the bed. "It's wrong; we can't keep doing this to Scott," she'd whisper as her fingers caressed his body and grasped his hardness. "Once more and I'm gone," she'd gasp as she slid down the length of him, her head thrown back in surrender, her hips bucking in rhythm with his. Then she'd moan and quiver and explode around him, her body collapsing in his arms.
If it was just sex she could have stopped. Unbelievable, mind-blowing, head-banging sex was something she could live without. She tried to tell herself that it was just a physical thing--an affair. But she knew this was something more. She was a different person with Logan; more open, self-assured, free. It wasn't just about sex with them. They'd talk afterwards, well she'd talk afterwards; discuss her hopes and dreams while Logan listened in content silence. She told him things that she never told Scott, felt safer confiding in him than she had in any of her friends or family. Scott was an amazing man and she knew it; but no matter how hard he tried, how much of himself he gave her it wasn't enough. She didn't need him the way she needed Logan.
"Don't go," he whispered as she got up to dress and return to her husband.
"You know I can't stay."
"Just for a little while longer?"
"Logan. . .Scott will be looking for me."
"Then tell him you were working late again. I have something to tell ya."
"What?"
"Come here and you'll see."
She dropped her torn dress and slipped back under the covers, rubbing her silken curves against his hard muscles. "What is it you want, big boy?" she cooed, her tongue stroking its way down his neck.
"I wanna know how you feel."
"You know how I feel."
"Do, I don't. Jean, I need the truth. Where do I stand with you?"
She stopped her ministrations and pulled herself into a sitting position, hugging her knees to her chest in a protective manner. "I don't know."
"Yes, you do."
"Logan, it's too confusing. I love both of you, but I can't have you both. What we're doing. . . it's wrong."
"That's what you always say."
"It's the truth. I'm having an affair, cheating on my husband."
"So? This has been going on for months, Jeannie. It's time you 'fess up and tell me how ya really feel. How can this be wrong when it feels so right?" he asked, his fingers tracing a slow pattern down her back.
"It just is," she gasped, surrendering to his wandering hands and gentle mouth. "I-."
"You what?"
"I need you," she whispered as she dragged his head down to hers. "I'll always need you, no matter what happens."
He lost himself in her, in the heat and passion and excitement of their encounter. But when it was over she'd gather her clothes, shower in the communal bathroom down the hall, and slide into her marriage bed, kissing Scott goodnight and whispering something about how she was up late working again. And he'd fall asleep in the bed he'd loved her in, breathing in her scent and wishing she was really there next to him.
~ * ~
"Morning, babe," Scott whispered in her ear the next morning as he sat down next to her to eat breakfast. "Everything okay in the lab?"
"Fine," she answered, lowering her eyes so she didn't have to see Logan smirking at her from across the table. "I'm having a little trouble interpreting the latest data, but its nothing that a little time can't handle."
"I just don't want you losing sleep over this. You've been working too many late nights as it is."
"It's fine, Scott--really it is," she said, catching his hand in her own. "But I love how you worry about me," she added, dropping a kiss on his cheek.
"It's my job," he said in response. "I love you."
"I love you, too," she whispered, pressing her lips lightly to his.
"Ewww," Jean-Luc, Rogue and Remy's three-year-old son interrupted. "Kissy-kissy is gross!"
Jean laughed against Scott's mouth and reluctantly drew away, sneaking a glance at Logan in the process. His face was expressionless, but his eyes said it all. They were furious: two glaring pools of deep-blue scorching into her own. Without a word he pushed his chair back so hard it nearly fell over and stormed out of the room, his footsteps echoing harshly down the hall.
"Wonder what's bothering him?" Scott questioned as he reached for another muffin.
"Who knows?" Jean answered nervously. "Probably didn't sleep well."
"Or maybe it's sometin' else?" Remy suggested, catching Jean's eye. "Who really knows wat plagues a man' heart?"
"I doubt Logan's that sentimental," Scott said, his eyes fixated on the muffin he was buttering. "Ororo," he said, changing the subject. "What's the status of the new Friends of Humanity base we found on 10th Street?"
While Ororo and Scott discussed in length the new FOD hang out they'd discovered in New York City, Jean meticulously picked apart her muffin grain by grain. The entire time she could feel Remy eyes boring into her: questioning her, judging her. She knew he knew--and she just prayed that he wouldn't reveal the truth and destroy them all.
~ * ~
"Jean," Remy said as he walked into her lab. "We need to talk."
"What's up, Remy?" Jean asked as cheerfully as she could manage.
"I 'tink you know. Don' play games wit me, Jean"
"What is it you think I'm doing?"
"You're sleepin' wit Logan. An' don't deny it 'cause I know you are."
Jean paused for a moment, the breath rushing out of her. "How did you find out?"
"I can sense it. Logan may have dat sense of smell, but I have perception."
"Remy, this is not something I'm discussing with you."
"'Den you can discuss it wit' Scott. Da choice is up to you."
She stared at him for a minute. "Okay, we'll talk. What do you want to know?"
"How long has dis been goin' on?"
"Why do you care?"
"'Cause dis involve the entire team. Scott's da leader; an if you screw him over, he screws all of us over."
"Scott's the smartest, most loyal, strongest person I know. He would never put the team in danger."
"Not on purpose, no. But dat boy will be distract'd. And dat's when mistakes happen."
"How dare you accuse me of trying to hurt the team. I'm-."
"You what? Havin' da best sex o' your life? Dat's great, Jean. But when you put my family in danger 'cause you're getting off, dat's a problem."
"I'm not trying to hurt anyone-."
"I know you not. We all do. But 'tink about what you doin', Jean. An' how it gonna affect us all. I 'tink you get what I'm sayin'. 'Tink about it," he added as he left the room, leaving a breathless, devastated Jean behind.
~ * ~
"They know," Jean told Logan once she'd found him, beating the crap out of a punching bag in the school gym. "You don't look particularly surprised."
"I'm not," he said, nailing a mean right-hook against the side of the bag.
"Why?"
"Don't know, Jeannie?" he said sarcastically. "Could it be those hickey's you insist I give you on the tops of your breasts? Or the nail marks on my back? Or that I always smell like Chanel #5? It's pretty damn obvious what we've been up to."
"Why didn't you say something?"
"And' risk losin' you? No way."
"So you let me make a fool of myself in front of everyone I know and love."
"You did that all by yourself."
"You bastard," Jean hissed, her hand swinging towards his cheek. "I don't know what I ever saw in you."
He caught her wrist effortlessly. "You know what you saw in me. You can be honest with me. You don't have to be perfect, pristine Jean Grey-Summers. You can just be Jeannie, with her tangled curls and wild mouth and hands that know how to drive me crazy. I'd rather have you angry, than apathetic. At least I know this is the real you."
"Do they all know?" she asked, not wanting to talk about the things that drew her to Logan.
"Only Remy. . .and probably Rogue. But they won't say anything."
"He came to see me today. He told me to break things off."
"Are you going to listen?"
"It all makes sense. He's right about us--we're wrong, we're all wrong."
"You always say that."
"But it's true. If Scott ever found out. . .the Dream would die. He couldn't go on, not knowing the truth. And we need him for the Dream to come true."
"Screw the Dream. This is about you, what you want."
"That's why I'm here, Logan. For the Dream; so that one day the world will be a peaceful place. I can't hurt everyone around me for great sex."
"You know it's more than that."
"I can't risk it. This is good-bye, Logan. Good bye for good."
He felt her kiss his cheek on last time, smelled her perfume as she brushed by, but inside he was numb. She meant it this time when she said she was leaving. She was really gone, and he didn't know what he was going to do without her.
~ * ~
Jean stared at the ticking hands of her clock, her entire body frozen with fear. It had been two weeks since she'd ended her affair with Logan, and she'd finally reached her day of reckoning. The egg timer she'd stolen from the kitchen rang with a loud "ding," and her eyes reluctantly flew to the white, plastic stick lying on her bathroom counter. A bright pink plus sign winked up at her, and she slumped to the floor in a dead faint.
I know it's kind of short, but this is setting up the greater arc of the story. In terms of the time frame, think of this as current time. But, the characters are a mix of Movieverse and Comicverse: Logan is strictly movie and so is Jean's profession, but the rest are basically comic. Also, Remy and Rogue are together and have a child; this will be developed further in a later story, but think of that incident in the cave in Uncanny #350.
~ * ~
"Love does not begin and end the way we seem to think it does. Love is a battle, love is a war; love is a growing up." - James Baldwin
~ * ~
It was wrong and she knew it. But that didn't stop her from doing it anyway. She was like a moth to his flame, desiring what she knew would be her downfall, but unable to stay away. It was the same every time. She'd slip into his room like some kind of enraged angel with flaming curls and blazing eyes. "This is the last time," she'd say as she tore at his clothes and pushed him on the bed. "It's wrong; we can't keep doing this to Scott," she'd whisper as her fingers caressed his body and grasped his hardness. "Once more and I'm gone," she'd gasp as she slid down the length of him, her head thrown back in surrender, her hips bucking in rhythm with his. Then she'd moan and quiver and explode around him, her body collapsing in his arms.
If it was just sex she could have stopped. Unbelievable, mind-blowing, head-banging sex was something she could live without. She tried to tell herself that it was just a physical thing--an affair. But she knew this was something more. She was a different person with Logan; more open, self-assured, free. It wasn't just about sex with them. They'd talk afterwards, well she'd talk afterwards; discuss her hopes and dreams while Logan listened in content silence. She told him things that she never told Scott, felt safer confiding in him than she had in any of her friends or family. Scott was an amazing man and she knew it; but no matter how hard he tried, how much of himself he gave her it wasn't enough. She didn't need him the way she needed Logan.
"Don't go," he whispered as she got up to dress and return to her husband.
"You know I can't stay."
"Just for a little while longer?"
"Logan. . .Scott will be looking for me."
"Then tell him you were working late again. I have something to tell ya."
"What?"
"Come here and you'll see."
She dropped her torn dress and slipped back under the covers, rubbing her silken curves against his hard muscles. "What is it you want, big boy?" she cooed, her tongue stroking its way down his neck.
"I wanna know how you feel."
"You know how I feel."
"Do, I don't. Jean, I need the truth. Where do I stand with you?"
She stopped her ministrations and pulled herself into a sitting position, hugging her knees to her chest in a protective manner. "I don't know."
"Yes, you do."
"Logan, it's too confusing. I love both of you, but I can't have you both. What we're doing. . . it's wrong."
"That's what you always say."
"It's the truth. I'm having an affair, cheating on my husband."
"So? This has been going on for months, Jeannie. It's time you 'fess up and tell me how ya really feel. How can this be wrong when it feels so right?" he asked, his fingers tracing a slow pattern down her back.
"It just is," she gasped, surrendering to his wandering hands and gentle mouth. "I-."
"You what?"
"I need you," she whispered as she dragged his head down to hers. "I'll always need you, no matter what happens."
He lost himself in her, in the heat and passion and excitement of their encounter. But when it was over she'd gather her clothes, shower in the communal bathroom down the hall, and slide into her marriage bed, kissing Scott goodnight and whispering something about how she was up late working again. And he'd fall asleep in the bed he'd loved her in, breathing in her scent and wishing she was really there next to him.
~ * ~
"Morning, babe," Scott whispered in her ear the next morning as he sat down next to her to eat breakfast. "Everything okay in the lab?"
"Fine," she answered, lowering her eyes so she didn't have to see Logan smirking at her from across the table. "I'm having a little trouble interpreting the latest data, but its nothing that a little time can't handle."
"I just don't want you losing sleep over this. You've been working too many late nights as it is."
"It's fine, Scott--really it is," she said, catching his hand in her own. "But I love how you worry about me," she added, dropping a kiss on his cheek.
"It's my job," he said in response. "I love you."
"I love you, too," she whispered, pressing her lips lightly to his.
"Ewww," Jean-Luc, Rogue and Remy's three-year-old son interrupted. "Kissy-kissy is gross!"
Jean laughed against Scott's mouth and reluctantly drew away, sneaking a glance at Logan in the process. His face was expressionless, but his eyes said it all. They were furious: two glaring pools of deep-blue scorching into her own. Without a word he pushed his chair back so hard it nearly fell over and stormed out of the room, his footsteps echoing harshly down the hall.
"Wonder what's bothering him?" Scott questioned as he reached for another muffin.
"Who knows?" Jean answered nervously. "Probably didn't sleep well."
"Or maybe it's sometin' else?" Remy suggested, catching Jean's eye. "Who really knows wat plagues a man' heart?"
"I doubt Logan's that sentimental," Scott said, his eyes fixated on the muffin he was buttering. "Ororo," he said, changing the subject. "What's the status of the new Friends of Humanity base we found on 10th Street?"
While Ororo and Scott discussed in length the new FOD hang out they'd discovered in New York City, Jean meticulously picked apart her muffin grain by grain. The entire time she could feel Remy eyes boring into her: questioning her, judging her. She knew he knew--and she just prayed that he wouldn't reveal the truth and destroy them all.
~ * ~
"Jean," Remy said as he walked into her lab. "We need to talk."
"What's up, Remy?" Jean asked as cheerfully as she could manage.
"I 'tink you know. Don' play games wit me, Jean"
"What is it you think I'm doing?"
"You're sleepin' wit Logan. An' don't deny it 'cause I know you are."
Jean paused for a moment, the breath rushing out of her. "How did you find out?"
"I can sense it. Logan may have dat sense of smell, but I have perception."
"Remy, this is not something I'm discussing with you."
"'Den you can discuss it wit' Scott. Da choice is up to you."
She stared at him for a minute. "Okay, we'll talk. What do you want to know?"
"How long has dis been goin' on?"
"Why do you care?"
"'Cause dis involve the entire team. Scott's da leader; an if you screw him over, he screws all of us over."
"Scott's the smartest, most loyal, strongest person I know. He would never put the team in danger."
"Not on purpose, no. But dat boy will be distract'd. And dat's when mistakes happen."
"How dare you accuse me of trying to hurt the team. I'm-."
"You what? Havin' da best sex o' your life? Dat's great, Jean. But when you put my family in danger 'cause you're getting off, dat's a problem."
"I'm not trying to hurt anyone-."
"I know you not. We all do. But 'tink about what you doin', Jean. An' how it gonna affect us all. I 'tink you get what I'm sayin'. 'Tink about it," he added as he left the room, leaving a breathless, devastated Jean behind.
~ * ~
"They know," Jean told Logan once she'd found him, beating the crap out of a punching bag in the school gym. "You don't look particularly surprised."
"I'm not," he said, nailing a mean right-hook against the side of the bag.
"Why?"
"Don't know, Jeannie?" he said sarcastically. "Could it be those hickey's you insist I give you on the tops of your breasts? Or the nail marks on my back? Or that I always smell like Chanel #5? It's pretty damn obvious what we've been up to."
"Why didn't you say something?"
"And' risk losin' you? No way."
"So you let me make a fool of myself in front of everyone I know and love."
"You did that all by yourself."
"You bastard," Jean hissed, her hand swinging towards his cheek. "I don't know what I ever saw in you."
He caught her wrist effortlessly. "You know what you saw in me. You can be honest with me. You don't have to be perfect, pristine Jean Grey-Summers. You can just be Jeannie, with her tangled curls and wild mouth and hands that know how to drive me crazy. I'd rather have you angry, than apathetic. At least I know this is the real you."
"Do they all know?" she asked, not wanting to talk about the things that drew her to Logan.
"Only Remy. . .and probably Rogue. But they won't say anything."
"He came to see me today. He told me to break things off."
"Are you going to listen?"
"It all makes sense. He's right about us--we're wrong, we're all wrong."
"You always say that."
"But it's true. If Scott ever found out. . .the Dream would die. He couldn't go on, not knowing the truth. And we need him for the Dream to come true."
"Screw the Dream. This is about you, what you want."
"That's why I'm here, Logan. For the Dream; so that one day the world will be a peaceful place. I can't hurt everyone around me for great sex."
"You know it's more than that."
"I can't risk it. This is good-bye, Logan. Good bye for good."
He felt her kiss his cheek on last time, smelled her perfume as she brushed by, but inside he was numb. She meant it this time when she said she was leaving. She was really gone, and he didn't know what he was going to do without her.
~ * ~
Jean stared at the ticking hands of her clock, her entire body frozen with fear. It had been two weeks since she'd ended her affair with Logan, and she'd finally reached her day of reckoning. The egg timer she'd stolen from the kitchen rang with a loud "ding," and her eyes reluctantly flew to the white, plastic stick lying on her bathroom counter. A bright pink plus sign winked up at her, and she slumped to the floor in a dead faint.