Curse of the Kitty Chapter 3
Ah, yet another chapter. Now I have no idea when this fic is going to end. Ah, well. I'm going to make this part as silly as humanly possible! *Points finger into the air* as you readers are my witnesses, I SHALL prevail!! *Corny music plays*
~***~
Merle jumped into the carriage, grasping her hood so it wouldn't fall off. I just know they wouldn't let me go if they knew my true age. Who knew these people could be so stupid? Do I really look 18? Merle pondered for a moment before her eyes went starry. This is great! Not only will Van-sama not be a little kitten anymore, he'll also be like me! So we can get married…*sigh* Life will be great.
The carriage jerked to a start and rode off into the forest.
~***~
"LET GO OF ME!!!" Allen screamed while trying to claw Millerna's eyes out.
"Come now Allen, let's not fight. It'll be much easier for you if you don't struggle."
Allen obviously wasn't in a mood to oblige as he bit Millerna's hand when she tried to tie the pretty red bow tighter(1). "And how do you figure that I'm Allen??"
"Itai! Oh come now Allen, I'd know you anywhere. Besides, you guys were so loud that I heard everything. Let me guess…The black kitty is Van and the brown Kitty is Hitomi, right?"
Allen snarled and tried to rip the bow off of his neck. "So your not a total ditz, who knew?"
Van struggled in his little baby clothes, but was unable to untie himself. He sighed and lay back in the baby carriage Millerna had seated him in, and sucked on his pacifier.
Hitomi tried for the tenth time to hang herself, but was unable to stand on her hind legs long enough. She slumped back down and sulked. Hitomi was dressed in a Rag Dolls ball gown. Complete with a little bonnet that was tied so tight that it was cutting off her oxygen supply.
Allen screamed and cursed as Millerna finished tieing a Big Red Bow onto the back of his neck. She walked over to her dresser and pulled out a little case. "Guess what this is, Allen-neko."
"I really don't want to know…" Allen muttered as she opened up the case to reveal…
Van gasped and whimpered, digging himself further into the baby blankets as a sad attempt to escape his fate. Hitomi didn't look too shocked, not like she's never worn it before. Allen 'meeped' and paled visibly.
Millerna opened the makeup case further to show off all the contents. She grinned and pulled out a stick of lipstick. Allen squeaked and tried to escape Millerna's Iron grip but failed miserably. Millerna grabbed Allen's face and began to apply the lipstick, even as Allen wiggled his body, hoping to fall from her hands and crack his head open on the floor below. Van winced as he saw Millerna literally paint up Allen's face, and began to imagine what she would do to him next. Not a pretty picture.
"There! All done! Now, don't you look just ravishing?" Millerna picked up a mirror and put it in front of Allens face.
Allen peered into the mirror and almost chocked on his own spit. "Simply charming" Allen hissed flatly. Allen's lips (or as much lip as you can get on a cat) was painted a lush red. She drew little red circles on both his cheeks. His eyes were buried in blue eye shadow. She applied long, black, fake eyelashes to his eyelids and painted his claws red. All in all, Allen looked like the clown-neko from hell. He took one last look at himself, gurgled and fainted. Millerna scratched her head and put the mirror down.
"Strange, I thought I did a great job." She shrugged and walked up to Van's baby carriage. Van yelped and dove under the blankets. "Come now, Van. It's really not that bad. Why, just look at how pretty I made Allen!"
"PRETTY!?" Van spit out. "I don't want to look PRETTY. I'm a MAN for escaflowne's sake!"
"That doesn't mean you don't have the right to look your best. Common now." Millerna bent down and picked Van up by his tail. Van wiggled around like a worm being bated on a hook and grabbed onto the edge of the carriage for dear life. Millerna narrowed her eyes and tugged on Van's legs. "Oh common! Don't be such a big baby!"
Millerna pulled her hardest, but Van just wouldn't budge. He gritted his teeth and sunk his claws deep into the carriage's material, utterly refusing to move. Millerna growled and pulled again, putting all her strength into it. Hitomi sweatdropped, watching the game of tug-a-war commence. "Common Van! Don't let go, for the love of neko's everywhere, DON'T LET GO!!" Hitomi cheered as Van tried his best to cling to the carriage. Millerna dropped Van's feet and huffed, out of breath. Hitomi cheered silently.
"Damnit, you cats sure are stubborn. Wait…I have an idea." She grinned evilly and walked over to Hiomi's cage. Hitomi panicked and backed up as far as she could go without melting through the bars. Millerna opened up the cage and grabbed Hitomi, jerking her out of her iron prison and shoving her in Van's face. "If you don't let go I'll…pop her head off!"
Van's eyes went wide before he narrowed them dangerously. "You wouldn't dare…"
Millerna grinned and squeezed Hitomi's body. Hitomi's eyes bulged out of her head and her face started to expand. Van gasped and let go of the end of the carriage, sitting down inside of it. "Okay okay! I let go, see!?" Millerna smiled and stopped squeezing the life out of Hitomi. "Psycho…" Van muttered.
Hitomi saw this as her chance. She took a deep breath and dug her teeth into the side of Millerna's hand. Millerna screamed with pain and dropped Hitomi. Hitomi hit the ground but was up in an instant, running out of the door with a speed that Van was proud of. "Run Hitomi, Ruuuun!(2)"
Millerna sighed and put Van down next to Allen, tying them both up with a little leash. Allen groaned and sat up, rubbing his head. "Did Hitomi just escape?"
Van turned to look at Allen. He snickered and clamped a hand onto his mouth, trying to hold in the laughter "I…*snicker* t-think so…"
Allen narrowed his eyes "Oh, shut up. I hope she makes you look like a prostitute."
"Better then…well…whatever it is your suppose to be!"
"Well, at least one of us got away."
"Now that Hitomi's out, we'll all make it."
Allen raised an eyebrow at Van "You actually think she'll come back and help us?"
"Of COURSE I do! Hitomi would never just leave us."
"Sure sure, whatever you say."
Van growled at Allen and tried to rip his bonnet off. "Well, if all else fails, just remember Merle is on her way to get that antidote."
Allen snorted and lied down to take a cat-nap. "Wow, that's real encouraging."
~***~
Hiotmi ran as fast as her little legs could take her. She could hear Millerna chasing after her.
"Fe, fi, fo, fum, I smell the fur of a very dirty kitty! Come here so I can give you a nice hot bath!"
Hiotmi groaned and ran faster.
~***~
Merle hopped out of the carriage and looked around the small market place "Yeesh, and I thought ours was dirty…" She took a piece of folded paper out of her pocket and unfolded it, skimming it over. "Let's see, the huts name is called 'Practically Useless.' What kind of a name is THAT for a shop!?"
She walked down the small dirt road, reading all of the signs on the shops. "'Come on in', 'Frozen Goodies your Mommie Would Love', 'Your Naughty if You Shop Here', What kind of a place is this?!" Merle stopped when she reached a shack that looked almost identical to the one Hitomi bought the potion at. "This must be it…" She stepped up to the counter (or what's left if it…) and rang the little service bell. An old, ugly man walked out of the little shack and smiled, showing almost no teeth at all. Merle wrinkled her nose and handed him the sheet of paper.
"This lady said you could help me. She turned my friends into little kittens."
The man read over the paper and nodded, disappearing into the back of the store. Merle waited outside impatiently, tapping her foot on the floor and whistling to herself. The old man reappeared holding a bottle of blue liquid. "Your in luck, I happen to have some of the antidote left over before Fanalia was burned to the ground. It's your for…25 narkens(3)"
Merle coughed and whipped around to face him "WHAT!? ARE YOU INSANE!? What are you trying to sell me, a friggen palace!?"
The old man shook his head and chuckled. "This potion is impossible to find since the plant no longer exists. 25 narkens, take it or leave it."
Merle growled then sighed and opened up her money pouch. "Ooo, you're going to hear it from Van-sama when he's human again."
The old man perked up like he'd just been told that he won the lottery. "Did you just say Van? As in Van King of Fanalia??"
"Yeah, that's right! Your making me pay all this money for a plant he practically owns!"
The old man shoved Merles purse away "In that case, you can have it for free."
Merle blinked "Nani? Why??"
"Because I know Van, he's a wonderful young man. I'd help him anyday. You should have told me before!"
Merle growled, her tail perking up. "Well I'm SO SORRY. I didn't know you knew him. Yeesh." She grabbed the potion from the old man and started to walk away.
"Oh, and tell him Omake says 'hi'."
"Yeah yeah yeah I'll tell him…stupid old fart…"
~***~
-BAM-
Hitomi squeaked and jumped up, barley avoiding the hammer. She ran around a corner and jumped behind a chair just as the hammer hit the ground with a loud 'Crack'.
"Common Hitomi, I wouldn't have to do it like this if you'd just BEHAVE!" Millerna brought the hammer down again, missing Hitomi-neko by centimeters. Hitomi jumped up and ran into another room, jumping out the window.
Millerna stomped into the room, looking around while gasping for air. "S-stupid…cats…fast…" She took one more look and then dropped the hammer. "Oh well, at least I still have Van and Allen!" She perked up and bounced out of the room.
Hitomi landed on the soft grass with ease. She jumped up against the wall and listened for Millerna. When she heard that she was gone, she sighed a huge sigh of relief. I'm free! I can't believe I'm free! But I'm not going anywhere until Van and Allen are free as well. But how am I suppose to get them out? She sat against the wall and brought her hand up to her chin in a kitty ponder. Wait! I have an idea…
~***~
"I'm bbbaaaaccckkkkk!" Millerna all but bounced back into the room. Her eyes fell instantly on the two kitties. Van and Allen were gnawing on their leashes like they were starving dogs. They stopped when they saw her, dropping the leashes and grinning innocently.
Millerna 'tsked' and grabbed both kitties by their scruffs "Now, now, now, I can't have you nibbling on things, it will ruin your supper! And I have a lovely gourmet meal planned out for you."
This just made the kitties nibble faster.
Millerna sighed and dropped the two kitties back onto the table. She turned around and began to prepare dinner. "Now, I have so many things for you to eat, there's chicken, and soup, and…"
Van stopped nibbling to cough up a bit of leather "This thing is a lot more tough than it looks. My teeth are killing me…"
Allen spit out some leather and glared at Van "Who cares! We have got to get out of here before she poisons us to death with her cooking!"
Van sighed and went back to nibbling.
Van!
Van looked up and cocked his head at Allen "What?"
Allen looked up at Van and scowled "I didn't say anything."
Van shrugged and went back to work.
VAN!
This time both Allen and Van looked up. They searched around the room frantically but couldn't see anyone.
I'm down here you morons!
Van and Allen looked out the window and saw Hitomi looking up at them with a pair of scissors in the back of her.
"Hitomi! Boy am I glad to see you."
"I'm glad to see those scissors!" Allen cried with glee. "Hurry and bring them up here damnit."
Van and Hitomi glared at Allen. Hitomi sighed and hoisted the scissors up to the window "Hurry…they're…heavy!"
Van grabbed hold of one end, and Allen got the other. They both lifted it up and set it down on the table as quietly as possible. They looked back to see if Millerna had noticed, but she was humming to herself while cooking stew.
Allen positioned the scissors under the leash. Van lifted up one end, and Allen put the leash in between. Van backed up, then ran and jumped up ontop of the handle, bringing it down to slice at the leather leash. It made a large cut, but it didn't break through. Van tried it again, but it still wouldn't cut.
"Hurry up!!" Hitomi hissed.
"We're trying but this leather is hard." Van backed up, ran as fast as he could and jumped up on top of the handle, pushing it down with all his might. They heard a reassuring 'slice', and the leather was cut in half. Van jumped up with glee.
"Oh crap, that was YOUR leash?? Hurry, cut mine too!"
Van repeated the procedure and cut Allen's leash. Allen cried with joy and hugged the pair of scissors. Van looked back at Millerna and noticed her turning around. "Shit…"
"Now it's time for- hey, where are your leashes??"
"RUN!!!" Allen shouted. He grabbed Vans paw and jumped out the window. Hitomi yelped and jumped out of the way just as Van and Allen hit the ground. Van rubbed his head and glared at Allen.
"You could have been a LITTLE more gentler."
"Could you two argue later? We have to get out of here!" Hitomi sat up and ran towards the woods, Van and Allen on her heels.
"Good idea Hitomi, we could hide in the forest."
"I don't think we have anything to worry about, we're too far ahead of her."
All the kittens skidded to a stop when they heard a loud crash.
Millerna had broken through the wall and was chasing after them with a butchers knife. All the kittes looked at each other.
"AAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!"
~***~
The end!
Of this chapter that is! Wahaha, did I scare yah? Thought I'd leave it hanging open? Tsk Tsk you should know me better.
(1)-Bee requested a bow, so I gave it to her/him ^-^
(2)Forest Gump, I couldn't resist ^-^
(3) –I have no idea what the money in Gaea is called, so I made something up.