This story takes place after Buffy's twentieth
birthday, but before Crush. Feedback can be sent to
cobalite@yahoo.com. No flames please, they give my deleted
messages folder indigestion. I own nothing. Please don't sue, all
you'll get is my CD collection. Buffy and Spike have a
confrontation, and then Buffy makes a decision about her
relationship with Angel.
Things will never be the same again with
you
No no, uh uh, (oh)
Now I know what it's comin' to
No no, Uh uh (yeah-heah)
'Cause if you think
That it's the way
That love
Should be
Let me tell you it's not for me
Black and Blue: Not For Me
By Cobalite Ice
He was watching her, she could feel it. A burning
point of light in the darkness. "I know you're there, Spike."
No answer. "If you want a fight, I'll give you one."
"I'm not here to fight you, Slayer." Near the end, he
had almost always called her Buffy. Now, seeing this little girl
with so much hate for him, he could bring himself to say her name.
"You're not?" She asked, confused. "Why are you
following me then?"
"To prove to myself you're not her." It was good he was
taking cryptic lessons from Angel.
"Not who?" Buffy was getting annoyed. She saw the last
ember of his cigarette die.
"No the same Slayer I knew, in a different time and place.
Not the girl who bled to death in my arms because some frat boy
had too many drinks. Not the one who trusted me with her sister's
life. Not the one that showed me another way. You're not her."
His voice started to get further away. "You never will be,
because we saved you from becoming her. I hope the Powers can
forgive themselves when you stand at the End of Days."
Buffy stood there, alone in the dark, stunned.
-----
Angel came back from meeting his otherself, a little shocked. It
was one thing meeting a doppelganger when you knew what you
looked like, but when you hadn't seen your reflection in over 200
years
Buffy was lying in bed, staring at the ceiling. "Hi."
She was subdued to say the least.
"What's wrong?"
"In my dreams, I've killed you, seen a new Slayer rise and
fall, I've been fed from, and killed a giant snake. I've been
left by three men, had a little sister, and fought a god."
She looked at him. "Now they've stopped."
"That's good, isn't it?"
"They stopped because I died, Angel. Not in battle, but by
accident. Meaningless, for nothing. The girl in those dreams,
she's me, but not a me I'll ever be. I'd be proud if I was half
as strong as she was when she died." She fingered a scar
that wasn't there. "He's right."
"Who?"
"Spike. Or at least it looked like Spike. He told me they
had done something to keep me from walking down that road. In her
reality, you were already Angelus by now."
Angel recalled his otherself saying Spike had gone out. "What did he say?" She didn't answer. "Buffy, what did he say to you?"
"That I'm not her, and he hopes the powers forgive themselves for saving me at the End of Days. Who's she, Angel? When did Spike ever feel anything for a Slayer?"
"To my knowledge, in the past Spike has only ever loved Drusilla." It wasn't a lie, exactly.
"She died on the pavement, with Spike holding her. It was exactly what he described, it was creepy." Angel sat down, and Buffy wrapped herself around him. "He din't want to fight. It's like he knew what my dream was like."
"Buffy." Angel started to say something, when Buffy cut him off. When she finally remembered her need to breathe, he asked, "Hey, are you alright?"
"Sometimes I forget." She drew in a deep lungful of air. "Angel, I may admire that other me, but she had to go through... Maybe that Spike lookalike was wrong. Maybe just the memories of these things will give me the strength she had. Maybe I can stand as strong as she did."
"I know you can." He was reluctant to let her go, but knew with her dreams stopped, she'd probably want to sleep in her own bed. "Do you want me to walk you home?"
"I'm not going home." Buffy suddenly had a determined look in her eyes.
"You aren't?" He asked, not sure he understood.
"Nope." She attacked, and Angel found
himself flat on his back. He was suddenly very grateful they were
on the same side.
-----
After talking with his otherself, he went on patrol. He could
listen to anymore of Riley's mutterings in code and Spike yelling
at the TV or he'd kill someone. Then he heard a voice he never
wanted to hear again. "Daddy."
"Dru." Nope, he wasn't hallucinating. Damn. "I thought you left the country."
She pouted. "I didn't like India. The vegittarians tasted funny. The moon called me back, it said now there are two. Two Daddies, two Spikes. It sounds deliciouse."
"That's nice, Dru." Angel looked for a quick get away. He never noticed her pull out the handgun. "So, what did you do with your Spike anyway."
"The moon says I can have my cake and eat it
too." She pulled the trigger.
-----
'Three numbers. Lowest number possible, 1. Highest, 4' After days
of staring, it finally clicked. "Spike, I've got it."
The prophecy unfolded before his eyes. "3-1-4. It was so
obviouse. I should have seen this days ago."
"What's it say?" Spike leaned over his shoulder, drinking blood from a mug, in game face.
"Can you not do that?" Riley shoved his laptop over in Spike's general direction.
Suddnely, in both their minds, a gunshot echoed. Spike looked at Riley. "You hear that?"
"Angel's in trouble." Riley grabbed his coat. "Who would shot him?"
"Who else? My lovely sire. Where do you think you're going alone? You have no clue where they'll be."
"We're gonna need help, and I doubt she'll
let you in the door."
-----
She lay beside him, perfectly content. He, however, looked guilty.
"I hope it doesn't scar."
"I hope it does." Buffy turned into his embrace, and enjoyed his shock. "It's like having your name tatooted on me. Only, it means something in our bussiness, didn't take as long, and was a lot more pleasant to get." She gave him a wicked smile.
Angel laughed. "Okay." The sun was preparing to rise, and it made him sleepy. He realized he still hadn't done done as his otherself asked. "Buffy?"
"Yeah?"
"I love you."
Buffy, for a brief moment, remembered her dreams. Then, she realized fearing the other future only gave it power over her. She rested her head on his chest. "I love you too." Nowhere in her dreams had she ever woken up beside him. She was determined to remedy that right now.
About fifteen minutes later, there was a frantic knocking on their door. Buffy wasn't going to get her wish.