Dogma Z

by Lady Shinimegami

This is a fusion, a very violent one, a very odd one. I like it enough to finish it, so we'll see. *Unfinished*

dog·ma (dôgm, dg-)
n., pl. dog·mas or dog·ma·ta (-m-t).

1.  Theology. A doctrine or a corpus of doctrines relating to matters             such as morality and faith, set forth in an authoritative manner by a church.

1. An authoritative principle, belief, or statement of ideas or opinion, especially one considered to be absolutely true.

2. A principle or belief or a group of them: "The dogmas of the quiet past are inadequate to the stormy present" (Abraham Lincoln).

Z (zd)

The last letter in the alphabet, dumb ass.

Part 1

Chapter 1 Start

Asbury Park, New Jersey

The water crashed against the beach as in the distance the sunset, give the sky and the water a yellowish taint.

A man looking oddly enough like Mr. Satan, wearing a worn out brown/yellow suit stood on a boardwalk rubbing his hands and singing one of Beethoven's symphonies (better known as the milk song) he knew quite well. He looked out onto the beach and watched the sunset. The world was such a beautiful place. The man loved just being there and spending the days playing Ski-ball. For him everything was great, he had good friends and of course he had his health. He had had quite the day of playing ski-ball and now it was time to return home. Pity, oh well, next month he would be back at this boardwalk to play again.

He checked his watch when all of the sudden he began to hear a buzzing, it sounded like flies. No, it was louder than that. Bees, he realized. The sound was bees.

He tilted his head a bit to see if he could see anyone, but didn't turn around. He didn't notice the three girls walking up behind him seemingly just out for a walk along the boardwalk.

The middle girl had blond wavy hair down to her shoulders that had a ribbon tying it up and had green eyes. She was wearing green cargo pants and a grey tank top. The one to her left had the same length blue hair and wore a plaid skit with a red tank top that said "HELLGIRL" across the chest. To the right of Kushami (the first girl) was a girl with black hair (done up in a bun) and black eyes she was wearing a simply purple dress with an orange scarf around her shoulders. All three looked ready to kill.

Kushami gave the signal for her, Bulma and Chichi to move forward.

In a swift movement the three girls ran up and were upon the old man. Kushami moved in front of the other two and slammed into the man so he came between her and a rail. Taking the hit hard the man fell down and looked up at the three girls as they encircled him.

The man looked up and was speechless. How could he be hurt like this? What if he died?

But no… he couldn't die, he just couldn't…

Shaking in fear the man didn't try to move, instead he just put his hands in front of his face for protection. He didn't even scream when the three girls started to kick the old man as hard as they could.

Red Bank, New Jersey.

At a Church a small crowd of reporters stood by awaiting the announcement that would be given. On the top of the steps were a few choirboys, a few priests, the crucifix and a statue covered in a velvet sheet.

One of the priest stepped up to the podium. "Ladies and gentlemen," he began, "the driving force behind Catholicism WOW!, Cardinal Satan.

Then a man stepped up to the podium. He wasn't too old, but had a receding hairline and wore the proper robes for his position. He looked like a cardinal would, except for the sunglasses hanging from his collar that is and is Afro like black hair and goatee. The crowed cheered at him as he stepped up.

"Thank you, thank you." He then began the speech that he had so well prepared the night before in a wrestler like voice. "Now we all know how the majority and the media in the country view the Catholic Church. They think of us as a passé, archaic institution. People find the Bible obtuse even hokey. Now in an effort to disapprove all that the church has appointed this year as a time of renewal both of faith and of style. For example, the crucifix. While it has been a time-honoured symbol of our faith Holy Moth Church has decided to retire this highly recognizable yet wholly depressing image of our Lord, crucified. Christ didn't come to Earth to give us the willies. He came to help us out. He was a booster, and it's with that take on our Lord in mind that we come up with a new more inspiring symbol. So, it is with great pleasure that I present you with the first of many revamps the Catholicism Wow! campaign will unveil over the next year. I give you 'The Buddy Christ'!!!"

Two of the priests had wheeled the statue over during his speech and on saying its name they took the cloth off to reveal a large statue of Jesus Christ, winking, pointing and giving you the thumbs up. This was received with many cameras going off and some sounds of awe from the reporters.

"That's not the sanctioned term we're using for the symbol." Cardinal Satan began to explain as he continued with his speech. "Just something we've been kicking around the office. But look at it. Doesn't it pop? Buddy Christ?"

Chapter 2 Goten and Trunks

Milwaukee, Wisconsin

Goten sat in the airport happily munching upon his popcorn. When I say munching, this would be a Goten turn for 'scarfing down' (i.e. breathing in the popcorn). However, he would then spit it out into another empty bag, marked 'popcorn'. If there was anything Goten hated more in the world than being stuck in Wisconsin with Trunks, it was the fact that he couldn't eat.

Speaking of Trunks, he was waiting for that guy right now. And that's when Goten heard Trunks and almost cringed. He was walking down the airport hall wearing the usual black trench coat; blue jeans with a red shirt and grey zip up hoodie (currently zipped down) talking to a… nun. Oh dear, not this again.

"So you see, because of this poem it proves that all religions are just ploys into fooling the average man to become a slave… so to speak," Trunks finished as him and the nun sat down in seats behind Goten. Goten shook his head and rolled his eyes at the current display of false atheism.

"Oh my goodness… it all makes so much sense now," the nun who had soft green eyes and brown hair tucked under her black headpiece said quietly. From the look Goten got off her, she was rather pretty. "What have I been doing with my life?"

Trunks sighed and smiled. "I know… But I have an idea, you should take this money that you've been collecting and…"

Goten stopped listening to the inane conversation going on between Trunks and the nun and started watching the people come off of the plane. It kind of pissed him off how Trunks could take everything in this odd stride and try to convince almost every clergy he found that there was no 'God'. Why couldn't he himself take the absence of Dende so well?

He was knocked out of his daze when Trunks suddenly climbed over the chair and sat beside him.

"Wazzup?" Trunks asked almost laughing. "I don't get what fascinates you so much about this place…"

"I don't get why you have to go around saying Dende doesn't exist, when you used to talk with him all the time," Goten smiled and Trunks broke out into fits of laughter.

"What can I say? I love fucking with the clergy… keeps them on their feet." Trunks explained himself with a sly grin. "So! What'd you drag me out of be for?"

Goten began shuffling through his own black trench coat pockets (he also wore blue jeans, a grey shirt and a red zip up hoodie, also zipped down). Meanwhile Trunks continued babbling on. "This better be good because I'm up this early and not even watching my anim-" Trunks was cut off as Goten threw an envelop at him.

"We're going home. Somebody sent this to us," Goten said simply and looked forward as Trunks stared at him in disbelief. Finally Goten looked back over at Trunks. "Take it man and quit looking at me. People will think I just broke up with you."

"You did just say we were going home right?" Trunks asked in disbelief.

"Just read it…" Goten said and went back to his popcorn.

Trunks opened the envelope and took out the news clipping inside. "'Cardinal Satan Cuts Ribbon On Catholicism Wow! Campaign.' And?" Trunks looked back at Goten confused.

Goten sighed, wasn't Trunks supposed to be the smarter of the two? "You have to keep reading."

The rededication of St. Michael's Church is the kick off of a new campaign, which seeks to bring Catholicism into the mainstream. With a papal sanction, the archway entrance of the century-old Jersey shore house of worship will serve as a passageway of plenary indulgence—a little known Catholic belief offering all that passes through its arches a morally clean slate.

Chapter 3 The Loophole

Trunks and Goten were standing on one of those walkways in the airport for people who were too good for walking, which Trunks was rather thankful for because he didn't exactly want to talk right now. He was shocked, really shocked. Not only could he go home, but also it was Goten who figured out how to get there, funny how things happened… but who cares who figured it out. HE COULD GO HOME!!!

"Man! So we just have to walk through the arch thing and we can go back home?" Trunks asked truly in awe about the whole thing. He was rather excited.

"Kinda… Ya see, by walking through the arch are sins are forgiven…" he looked away. "Then all we have to do is die…"

"What was that? Die? I don't wanna to die!" Trunks protested. The idea of going home suddenly didn't look so good.

"What? You'd rather spend the rest of our lives in Wisconsin?"

"No… but we don't even know if we can die." Trunks almost sounded like he was whining.

"We can die," Goten 'reassured' him.

"Oh great, and then if the arch thing doesn't work we go to HFIL…" trunks went over what he just said. "I don't wanna go to HFIL!"

"Listen Trunks, if we cut our wings off, we become human. Humans can die. Sure, we won't be angels anymore… but at least we can go home," Goten said, then a thought hit him, one that he wasn't about to share with Trunks. If they became human, would they have dicks?

Trunks looked at Goten sceptically. The whole thing was starting to sound wrong. Then a thought hit him, one that he was willing to share with Goten. "Who sent the paper?

Goten rolled is eyes. "Who cares who sent the paper?" He asked pleadingly. "We found a loophole, a way back in. Dende can't keep us out anymore… and I'm sure once we settle back in it'll be a simple matter of forgiving and forgetting."

"But this is church law… not Dendes' law. It can be ignored by Dende then… so we may end up in HFIL…"

"Trunks, what did Jesus say to Peter before he became the first pope?" Goten asked and Trunks looked at him blankly, Goten sighed. "'Whatever you hold true on Earth…'" Goten waited for Trunks to finish the sentence.

A light suddenly went of in Trunks head and his eyes showed his excitement, "'I'll hold true in Heaven.'!"

"It's dogmatic law," Goten said proudly and Trunks looked in awe as Goten used a big word.

"Let it never be said that your anal retentive attention to detail never yielded positive results." Trunks said smiling as he held his hand out.

"You can't be anal retentive if you don't have an anus," Goten mumbled back taking his hand and the two smiled at each other.

"Outstanding work!"

The two finally came to the end of the walkway, just perfect timing because Trunks had fully regained his wits and was ready to walk again. Then an idea floated into Trunks' head, an idea that had been there for quit some time. He began looking through his trench coat pockets until he pulled out a magazine clipping.

"I think it would help to get on Dendes' good side if we did this," he handed Goten the clipping.

"What?" Goten asked confused and began reading. "'Mooby, the Golden Calf. Creating an Empire out of simplicity.'…"

"I wanna hit 'em," Trunks said with a gleam of excitement in his eyes.

"Hit 'em?" Goten asked confused.

Trunks sighed; Goten had obviously used all his brainpower up for the next month or so. "Kill the Mooby Executives."

Goten stopped walking and stared blankly at Trunks. "Man… you have such a one track mind. We finally find a way home, and you want to put it at stake for this fetish of yours."

"Oi, what better way of getting on Dendes' good side that doing the job I quit… thanks to you," Trunks added with a bit of bitterness.

"I don't think a killing spree will make Dende very happy with us…" Goten said sceptically.

"Killing spree?" Trunks asked almost hurt, almost. "I'm talking about Divine Justice here." The two began walking again. "I'm talking punishing the evil. Dendes' all about that, I know he'd want this done."

"Trunks, does the fact that you were the last Angel of Death mean anything to you? I think he's over the whole 'murder the evil thing'. And what if you're wrong, like you always are?"

"I wouldn't talk there Goten…" Trunks said glaring.

"Oh shut up…"

"And besides, even if I am wrong, which of course am not, because I'm NEVER wrong. That whole arch thing will forgive our sins. Right?"

The two got to an elevator and Goten pressed the 'up' button. As they waited Goten began to think about what Trunks had suggested.

"It is true that Dende hates competition… and Moody does act like a God at times… all the time…"

Trunks began to smile; obviously Goten was going to let him do this. Of course, there was something else on his mind. "Where is this church anyway?"

"New Jersey, and we have four days to get there," Goten explained as the elevator doors opened. The two walked in, a woman in her thirties sipping a cup of coffee stood between the two.

"The last four days on Earth…" Trunks thought the matter over in his head. "Damn, if I had a dick, I'd get laid," he grinned. "But we can always do the next best thing…"

"And that would be?" Goten asked confused.

"Kill people," Trunks answered in a voice that was far, far too cheery.

The woman in between them spit out her coffee in shock, Trunks laughed as the elevators doors shut and simply said:

"Not you…"

DOGMA Z

To Avoid Confusion:

Kushami:          Triplet 1

Bulma:              Triplet 2

Chichi:              Triplet 3

Mr. Satan:        Cardinal Glick

Goten:              Bartleby

Trunks: Loki

(I have returned… with yet another DBZFic. So this is my second DBZ Fusion… this being the first full length. I tried to do Dogma a long while ago (like, almost a year ago) with Gundam, but the characters didn't work AT ALL. Then in an interesting conversation I had with Carrie, we were going on about Piccolo not having a sex *WHY WON'T YOU PEOPLE UNDERSTAND!?!* and I said "He's not really anything", quoting Dogma. And then I had it all figured out. It took a while to put all the characters in, and I have to change a lot of the movie… and dialogue. I've always found it so easy to write in Trunks and Goten, but as I wrote this I found it really hard because I only had so much control over the dialogue Of course, there were some lines that I could NOT change no matter how I looked at it, mostly because they were my favourite lines and therefore Dogma could not like without them. I also kept the angels in their 'uniform' because it's so… nice… Now, on estimate I say there will be about 17 or something parts *no longer than 20, there's no way I'm going through that again*. So, I will not tell you who the rest of the characters are, because I want it all to be a very nice surprise… *evil laughter inserted here*, I must mention though, I hate Kakarotto, and yet I bestowed upon him one of the best character roles. How odd of me… Well, I'm gonna fix up the dialogue for this a bit more and then probably post it tonight. REVIEWS!!! PLEASE!!!)