Here ya go! The chapter you've all been waiting for . . . Actually, I hope that this is one of the last chapters, I think this storyline is beginning to wear out. What do YOU think?
Please read and review!
Disclaimer: I DO NOT OWN ANY OF THESE CHARACTERS, WITH THE EXCEPTION OF BARBIE MATTEL, AND I AM NOT MAKING ANY MONEY OFF OF THIS!
oh, and greater-than, less-than signs ( ) mean conversation through telepathy
Barbie continued her reign of terror as she reached the kitchen. Scott's glasses were lying on the counter. (He had been called into the Danger Room that morning.) There was a note beside them reading:
Jean,
Could you please stop
by the professor's room
and ask him to fix these?
Love,
Scott
"Oh, the lenses have cracked! I can fix these!"
She picked up the glasses and headed into her appointed room.
"Hmm . . . I know I have an extra pair of sunglasses around here somewhere! There they are! I'll just replace Scott's lenses with the ones from these!"
After some fiddling, Barbie finally managed to pop the lenses out of Scott's glasses and replace them with the ones from her extra pair.
When she finished, Barbie placed the glasses back on the counter and left her own message on the back of the note, with a signature resembling that of a certain fashion doll's logo:
Scott,
I took the liberty of fixing the
lenses for you. I hope that was
okay.
B
a
r
b
i
e
Scott returned much later that afternoon. He was exhausted and happy to rid himself of his visor and uniform. On his way to his room, he stopped by the kitchen to get something to drink.
"Oh! I guess Barbie got to them before Jean did. That was thoughtful of her."
Scott picked up the glasses and continued on to his room where he changed into a T-shirt and jeans.
"Ahh! I finally get to take this thing off!"
Scott removed the visor, being careful to keep his eyes closed, placed the newly-lensed glasses on his head, and opened his eyes.
All I'll tell you is that utter disaster followed . . . AND that later that week, the professor was faced with quite a hefty repair bill.
Now it was Scott's turn to show his never-ever-shown temper.
"Where's Barbie? Hell, where's Logan? I'd enjoy grilling a Barbie-ka-bob right about now."
Scott, calm down. We had not yet informed Barbie of your condition. She was only trying to help.
"Magneto's tried to convince us that HE was only trying to help!"
Why don't you come rest in the infirmary.
"Yeah . . . YEAH, maybe I can find some tranquilizers for our friend Barbie!"
Scott . . . NOW!
"Yes, Professor."
Psylocke was in the Danger Room, enjoying a lively workout against her electronic adversaries. Just as she was about to launch one of her "bloody wonderful" kicks, she caught movement out of the corner of her eye. Glancing up, she saw Barbie waving to her from the control room.
"Would you like to use the Danger Room? I've been hogging it for a while now."
"No thanks! I just wanted to watch you!"
"All right, then! Enjoy!"
Psylocke returned to her training with the practiced indifference of one who is used to audiences.
Barbie glanced around the control room.
"Oooh! They have one of those big red buttons! Just like in the movies! They always make something special happen! I wonder what this one does!"
Again, Psylocke glanced up at Barbie (that "practiced indifference" had begun to wear off). 'I wonder how amazed and impressed she is by now . . . Well, that was close! Better stop boasting and start battling! . . . WHAT IS SHE DOING?!!"
Psylocke had seen Barbie reach down and press something on the control panel. Now, she was being attacked from all directions.
"Help! Somebody gimme some bloody 'elp! I'm being attacked by the entire stinkin' room!"
"Oh! You want me to leave? I completely understand! Don't worry!"
"Ahhrrgg!!"
"Bye!"
Dinner hour came and the X-Men had assembled around the extensive dining room table. All seats were filled except one . . .
"Where is Psylocke?" Storm had been sitting quietly, trying to strategically place her hands over the extremely "loud" earrings she had borrowed from Jubilee.
"I believe I last saw her in ze Danger Room. She was training against ze robots."
As Kurt spoke, a battered figure could be seen stumbling into the room.
"Don't bother holding the tea and cakes, I'll be along shortly." Psylocke collapsed.
"Well, I be guessin' we found 'er." Gambit sat staring dismally at the "Barney's First Numbers" cards in his hands.
"Hank, will you take Psylocke to the infirmary?"
"Certainly, Professor."
The team held back snickers as the now partially hairless Hank trudged up the stairs.
Jean was twitching. Scott was glaring evilly at Barbie. The professor had a look of complete bewilderment on his face.
"Is there something I don't know about?"
"Oooh! Oooh! I know!," shouted Barbie. "I bought a new shade of lipstick!"
Everyone decided to just leave it at that.
Some time before dinner . . .
Rogue changed and washed up. Her anger had subsided somewhat after the training was called off due to "team misconduct."
"Ah wonder what's on TV."
She felt like engaging in a relatively normal activity, after the past two days' events.
As Rogue approached the Rec Room door, she heard a yell from within.
"That sounded like 'Ro. Somethin' serious must be goin' on for her to be hollerin'!"
Rogue stepped in, only to find a room lacking a supervillian, which was what she had suspected, judging from the cry that had been heard only seconds earlier.
'Now Ah'm really worried.'
Storm spotted Rogue, who was looking quite curious.
"What's goin' on?"
"Goddess forgive me, I am pleading the elements to strike her down!"
"Who?"
"Dat witch Barbie!" Gambit had joined Storm.
"Sacrement! If only I charged organic material! 'Den Gambit could make 'de Barbie go boom!"
"I am usually opposed to such discussion, but at this point, I share your wishes Gambit."
"We DO make a pretty good team, eh Stormy?"
The two exchanged glances and left, with obvious malicious intent.
"What could that gal have done to get Ororo so worked up? 'Course Ah don't blame 'er, Barbie can sure mess up a day."
The past display having chased all thoughts of TV from her mind, Rogue decided to see how the others were holding up against the "ditz of death."
On her way down the hall, Rogue passed Jean.
"Hi. How's things goin'?"
The telepath did not respond, continuing to stagger on, mumbling, "blonde . . . blonde . . . blonde . . ."
At that moment, Rogue picked up the distinct smell of burning hair wafting through the hallways. Following the stench, she entered Hank's lab. Storm was inside, directing a small shower to fall on Hank's arm, which was ablaze. Barbie watched.
Rogue mentally ran through the list:
Storm: royally pissed
Gambit: trying to rationalize first-degree murder
Jean: in shock
Hank: on fire
Barbie: status unknown
'Let's find out what the rest 'a the happy household is up to.'
Finding the rest of the X-Men, and observing that they remained untouched by Barbie's doings, Rogue decided that the rampage had ceased, and the mansion would soon return to normal . . . that was, until a large hole was blown through Scott's bedroom wall.
"Please Professor! Just give me five minutes alone with that she-devil!"
"Lemme guess. Barbie."
"The cretin replaced my ruby quartz lenses with ordinary glass ones!"
"Ah think ya'll should go find Jean. She didn't look too good last time Ah saw her. For now, Ah'm gonna go get some dinner."
Please read and review!
Disclaimer: I DO NOT OWN ANY OF THESE CHARACTERS, WITH THE EXCEPTION OF BARBIE MATTEL, AND I AM NOT MAKING ANY MONEY OFF OF THIS!
oh, and greater-than, less-than signs ( ) mean conversation through telepathy
Barbie continued her reign of terror as she reached the kitchen. Scott's glasses were lying on the counter. (He had been called into the Danger Room that morning.) There was a note beside them reading:
Jean,
Could you please stop
by the professor's room
and ask him to fix these?
Love,
Scott
"Oh, the lenses have cracked! I can fix these!"
She picked up the glasses and headed into her appointed room.
"Hmm . . . I know I have an extra pair of sunglasses around here somewhere! There they are! I'll just replace Scott's lenses with the ones from these!"
After some fiddling, Barbie finally managed to pop the lenses out of Scott's glasses and replace them with the ones from her extra pair.
When she finished, Barbie placed the glasses back on the counter and left her own message on the back of the note, with a signature resembling that of a certain fashion doll's logo:
Scott,
I took the liberty of fixing the
lenses for you. I hope that was
okay.
B
a
r
b
i
e
Scott returned much later that afternoon. He was exhausted and happy to rid himself of his visor and uniform. On his way to his room, he stopped by the kitchen to get something to drink.
"Oh! I guess Barbie got to them before Jean did. That was thoughtful of her."
Scott picked up the glasses and continued on to his room where he changed into a T-shirt and jeans.
"Ahh! I finally get to take this thing off!"
Scott removed the visor, being careful to keep his eyes closed, placed the newly-lensed glasses on his head, and opened his eyes.
All I'll tell you is that utter disaster followed . . . AND that later that week, the professor was faced with quite a hefty repair bill.
Now it was Scott's turn to show his never-ever-shown temper.
"Where's Barbie? Hell, where's Logan? I'd enjoy grilling a Barbie-ka-bob right about now."
Scott, calm down. We had not yet informed Barbie of your condition. She was only trying to help.
"Magneto's tried to convince us that HE was only trying to help!"
Why don't you come rest in the infirmary.
"Yeah . . . YEAH, maybe I can find some tranquilizers for our friend Barbie!"
Scott . . . NOW!
"Yes, Professor."
Psylocke was in the Danger Room, enjoying a lively workout against her electronic adversaries. Just as she was about to launch one of her "bloody wonderful" kicks, she caught movement out of the corner of her eye. Glancing up, she saw Barbie waving to her from the control room.
"Would you like to use the Danger Room? I've been hogging it for a while now."
"No thanks! I just wanted to watch you!"
"All right, then! Enjoy!"
Psylocke returned to her training with the practiced indifference of one who is used to audiences.
Barbie glanced around the control room.
"Oooh! They have one of those big red buttons! Just like in the movies! They always make something special happen! I wonder what this one does!"
Again, Psylocke glanced up at Barbie (that "practiced indifference" had begun to wear off). 'I wonder how amazed and impressed she is by now . . . Well, that was close! Better stop boasting and start battling! . . . WHAT IS SHE DOING?!!"
Psylocke had seen Barbie reach down and press something on the control panel. Now, she was being attacked from all directions.
"Help! Somebody gimme some bloody 'elp! I'm being attacked by the entire stinkin' room!"
"Oh! You want me to leave? I completely understand! Don't worry!"
"Ahhrrgg!!"
"Bye!"
Dinner hour came and the X-Men had assembled around the extensive dining room table. All seats were filled except one . . .
"Where is Psylocke?" Storm had been sitting quietly, trying to strategically place her hands over the extremely "loud" earrings she had borrowed from Jubilee.
"I believe I last saw her in ze Danger Room. She was training against ze robots."
As Kurt spoke, a battered figure could be seen stumbling into the room.
"Don't bother holding the tea and cakes, I'll be along shortly." Psylocke collapsed.
"Well, I be guessin' we found 'er." Gambit sat staring dismally at the "Barney's First Numbers" cards in his hands.
"Hank, will you take Psylocke to the infirmary?"
"Certainly, Professor."
The team held back snickers as the now partially hairless Hank trudged up the stairs.
Jean was twitching. Scott was glaring evilly at Barbie. The professor had a look of complete bewilderment on his face.
"Is there something I don't know about?"
"Oooh! Oooh! I know!," shouted Barbie. "I bought a new shade of lipstick!"
Everyone decided to just leave it at that.
Some time before dinner . . .
Rogue changed and washed up. Her anger had subsided somewhat after the training was called off due to "team misconduct."
"Ah wonder what's on TV."
She felt like engaging in a relatively normal activity, after the past two days' events.
As Rogue approached the Rec Room door, she heard a yell from within.
"That sounded like 'Ro. Somethin' serious must be goin' on for her to be hollerin'!"
Rogue stepped in, only to find a room lacking a supervillian, which was what she had suspected, judging from the cry that had been heard only seconds earlier.
'Now Ah'm really worried.'
Storm spotted Rogue, who was looking quite curious.
"What's goin' on?"
"Goddess forgive me, I am pleading the elements to strike her down!"
"Who?"
"Dat witch Barbie!" Gambit had joined Storm.
"Sacrement! If only I charged organic material! 'Den Gambit could make 'de Barbie go boom!"
"I am usually opposed to such discussion, but at this point, I share your wishes Gambit."
"We DO make a pretty good team, eh Stormy?"
The two exchanged glances and left, with obvious malicious intent.
"What could that gal have done to get Ororo so worked up? 'Course Ah don't blame 'er, Barbie can sure mess up a day."
The past display having chased all thoughts of TV from her mind, Rogue decided to see how the others were holding up against the "ditz of death."
On her way down the hall, Rogue passed Jean.
"Hi. How's things goin'?"
The telepath did not respond, continuing to stagger on, mumbling, "blonde . . . blonde . . . blonde . . ."
At that moment, Rogue picked up the distinct smell of burning hair wafting through the hallways. Following the stench, she entered Hank's lab. Storm was inside, directing a small shower to fall on Hank's arm, which was ablaze. Barbie watched.
Rogue mentally ran through the list:
Storm: royally pissed
Gambit: trying to rationalize first-degree murder
Jean: in shock
Hank: on fire
Barbie: status unknown
'Let's find out what the rest 'a the happy household is up to.'
Finding the rest of the X-Men, and observing that they remained untouched by Barbie's doings, Rogue decided that the rampage had ceased, and the mansion would soon return to normal . . . that was, until a large hole was blown through Scott's bedroom wall.
"Please Professor! Just give me five minutes alone with that she-devil!"
"Lemme guess. Barbie."
"The cretin replaced my ruby quartz lenses with ordinary glass ones!"
"Ah think ya'll should go find Jean. She didn't look too good last time Ah saw her. For now, Ah'm gonna go get some dinner."