Rainy Day

by Cassandra4

Should be right up your alley if you're into analysis and discussion. Duo and Relena discuss war, Heero, the Colonies, and their lives.

Notes: This fic takes place when Heero, Duo, and Relena are all going to the same school. Please ignore the really stupid title. Titles aren't my thing. Enjoy!

Rainy Day

By Cassandra

            "Oh, I hate this!" Relena groaned, standing in the doorway of the bookstore and looking despairingly at the pouring rain outside. She should have known it would rain, it had been threatening to all day, ever since she had awoken to find storm clouds gathering. She should have at least acknowledged the possibility that maybe, just maybe, she would need her umbrella. Instead, she had stubbornly left it at her dorm when she went to the bookstore to buy books she needed for school. Naturally, while finding what she needed, it had started to drizzle, and quickly escalated into a downpour as she watched in dismay.

            Now, it was showing no signs of letting up, and Relena considered her options. She could stay at the bookstore until either it closed or the rain stopped, and get home past the dorm curfew and face detention. Her only other choice was to leave now, before the rain got worse, and arrive at the dorm on time and sopping wet. Sighing, she exited the store and headed out of the protection offered by the scaffolding that sheltered the sidewalk.

            She hadn't gone far when she heard familiar voice behind her. "What's a girl like you doing out in weather like this?"

            Relena turned around. "Oh, hello, Duo," she greeted him, smiling. He was wearing his usual all-black attire, and he, she noticed, had remembered his umbrella, which was also black, like nearly everything he owned. Some people might think him morbid for all the black, but that was an impossible thought once you saw his cheerful smile, Relena thought. "I was just getting some books for school," she explained, holding up her bag.

            "Well, you look like you could use an escort," he said, walking over to her and holding the umbrella above both their heads. "Or at least an umbrella."

            "Thank you," Relena said gratefully, feeling relieved. "Are you sure you don't mind?"

            "Mind?" Duo said. "Why would I? You're going back to the school, aren't you?"

            "Yes, I am," she said.

            "Same here," he told her. "So of course I don't mind." He grinned, and she smiled back. They started toward their destination.

            "So what about you?" Relena asked. "Why are you out in the rain?"

            "Just taking a walk," he answered. "I was going kind of stir crazy, cooped up with Heero, and besides, I like the rain."

            "Is Heero really so bad?" she wondered.

            "He's impossible," Duo complained. "All he does is type on his computer. I try to get him to talk by asking him questions, and all I get are one-word answers. It's enough to drive a guy crazy. Of course, he isn't too fond of my attempts to make conversation. So, for the sanity of both of us, and very possibly my help, I got out of there for a while." He paused to consider something. "I think I might have almost gotten him to smile once, but it's hard to be sure. He might have been laughing about his brilliant plan to kill me in the night." He shivered a bit.

            Relena laughed. "Don't worry, he wouldn't kill you."

            Duo raised an eyebrow. "What makes you so sure?"

            "If he hasn't killed me, an annoying girl who knows too much," she said, "he wouldn't kill a fellow Gundam pilot."

            Duo shook his head. "If he had a reason, he'd kill me without a second thought. He'll get rid of anyone that stands in his way."

            "Then why am I still around?" Relena asked.

            "Because he can't kill you without a second thought," Duo said simply. "He can't point a gun at you without wondering if maybe, even if it would be 'best,' he doesn't want you dead." He gave Relena an amused look. "Your feelings for each other are just about mutual, but he won't--or can't--admit it, because it scares him."

            "Do you really think so?" Relena said doubtfully.

            "You bet," said Duo.

            Relena sighed. "I get the feeling he hasn't been loved much in his life, which is one of the reasons I want to reach out to him. But he won't let me." She realized how that sounded, and felt embarrassed. "I know that sounds silly," she added, almost apologetically.

            "No, it doesn't," Duo said.

            Relena smiled wryly. "It doesn't?"

            "Not at all," he said. "It's the same reason I keep trying to force a smile out of him. Sometimes, I think he's forgotten how to smile, or else just never learned how."

            "No, smiling's something human beings are born with," Relena disagreed. "It was forced out of him by the scientist who trained him."

            "Who's that?" Duo asked curiously.

            "His name was Dr. J," Relena said. "I met him the night my father died." She blinked back the hot tears brought on by the painful memory.

            "I'm sorry," Duo said. "Though 'sorry' doesn't change anything, does it."

            It wasn't a question, but she answered anyway. "No, but thank you." Turning to look at him, she noticed a dark look had replaced his usual carefree expression. "What are you thinking, if you don't mind my asking?"

            "I'm just thinking about all the people I owe apologies to," he said. "And wishing it would do something. Most of the wouldn't even be around to hear me."

            Relena felt sympathetic and awkward at once. She wanted to comfort him, but didn't know what to say. How did you ease a soldier's remorse at killing people? What do you say to someone feeling the pain of those whose lives he had ended? "Sorry" seemed so shallow for grief like this.

            Duo shook his head a bit, as if to throw off some burden. After his moment of darkness, though, Relena knew better; he wasn't throwing it off, just hiding it until it surfaced again.

            He turned to her and smiled. "But, hey, this day is dreary enough, right? We don't need to make it any drearier." Seeing her concerned eyes, he answered their silent question. "Don't worry about me. I'm okay. Really."

            He was lying and they both knew it, but for his sake she played along. "I thought you liked the rain," she said conversationally.

            "I do," he said. "But I never said it wasn't dreary. Just like I like black, but I never said it wasn't morbid. I mean, come on, people wear it at funerals, of course it's morbid. Come to think of it, so am I, right now. Sorry about that, I'm not being myself."

            Relena found herself smiling. Duo had that effect on people. Even so, she could tell he was still thinking of how many unknown funerals he had caused, though nothing gave it away, not his voice, eyes, or face. She changed the subject. "You and Heero, you're so different."

            Duo laughed. "That's an understatement."

            "When I first met him," she continued, "I thought all Gundam pilots would be like him--cold and unemotional. But then I met you, someone who couldn't be less like Heero, on the outside, at least. If I didn't know you were a Gundam pilot, I never would have guessed it."

            "Yeah, well, I try to stay human," he said breezily. "Heero still is, but I think he wishes he wasn't. It would probably be easier not to have any emotions or anything."

            "Maybe," Relena said uncertainly. It was a frightening thought, life without emotions. She shivered, suddenly feeling the damp chill that had come with the rain.

            "But if I always went the easy way, I wouldn't be a Gundam pilot, would I?" Duo said. "Besides, I doubt it's possible."

            "I hope you're right about that," she said.

            He gave her a questioning glance. "Why? Afraid Heero will end up like that?"

            "Maybe," she confessed. She didn't want Heero to be soulless. That would somehow be as bad as if he died.

            "He won't," Duo assured her. "For you if nothing else."

            "I really do hope you're right," Relena sighed.

            "Aren't I always?" he joked, making her laugh.

            They walked in silence for a few moments, safe and dry in the sanctuary of the umbrella. Around them, the drops fell hard, like a volley of bullets shot from the sky. "I guess you don't have any days like this on the Colonies, right?" Relena said, gesturing to the rain.

            Duo shook his head. "Nope. Weather is totally controlled. That means no floods, lightning, thunderstorms, hurricanes, or earthquakes. We do get mild showers, but they're always announced ahead of time, on TV or in the newspaper."

            "Coming to earth must have been a shock for you then," Relena noted.

            "Yeah," he said, nodding.

            "Are the Colonies as beautiful as people say?" she asked.

            "They're amazing," he said. "I mean, there are some drab places, as well as industrial areas, but in general, they're...awesome."

            "You really love them, don't you?" she said.

            "I wouldn't be a Gundam pilot if I didn't," he told her.

            "No, I guess not," she agreed.

            "Now that I've seen the Earth, thought," he continued, "I'm starting to love it, too. After all, we don't get days like this on the Colonies."

            "I'm glad you like it," Relena said.

            "I'm glad I came here," he said.

            "Duo," she said suddenly. "Do you ever get...scared?"

            "All the time," he answered. "I'd be crazy not to be. Sometimes I lie awake at night, worrying that OZ will find us, and all this, the whole mission, will be a waste. Or that maybe they'll find the people we're close to, and kill them just for being friends of Gundam pilots." He paused. "I never worry about my own death, though. When I agreed to be a Gundam pilot, I accepted the fact that I would die in this war."

            "I don't want you to die," she said.

            "Neither do I, but it's better if I just accept it," he said. "Otherwise, I would worry about it on top of everything else, and that's just too much."

            "You're too young, all of you," she said, suddenly passionate. "You have your whole lives ahead of you. Why couldn't they choose adults? It's not fair."

            "I don't know," said Duo. "I've often wondered that myself, as well as, why wouldn't they choose dults? The only answer I've come up with is that children are easier to train."

            "But that's not right," she insisted.

            "Neither is war," he said softly.

            She sighed. For a while, neither one said anything. Relena was so absorbed in her own thoughts, she almost didn't notice when they arrived at her dorm. "Oh! This is my dorm." She started to thank Duo, but he held up a hand to silence her.

            "I wouldn't be a gentleman if I didn't walk a lady to her door," he said.

            "Oh, it's alright, really," she said.

            "I insist," he declared.

            "If you must," she gave in.

            They walked up the front steps. She opened the door and stood in the doorway. "I'll see you tomorrow," she said.

            "Okay then," he said. "And hey, don't give up on Heero. That's one battle you're definitely winning."

            "Alright," she agreed. As he started to walk away, she called, "And, Duo?"

            He turned to face her. "Yeah?"

            "Thank you," she said.

            "For what?" he asked.

            "For sharing your umbrella," she replied, but they both knew she meant for everything.

            He grinned. "Think nothing of it. It was my pleasure. Well, see you!" He began walking home.

            "Good-bye," she said, but she wasn't sure he had heard her. It didn't really matter. She watched him go for a moment, beginning his return to Heero the obsessive typist. Then she closed the door behind her and went upstairs, smiling.

*          *          *          *          *          *          *          *          *          *          *          *          *

Notes: Well, did you like it? I tried to keep the characters in character (hmm, that doesn't sound too weird).... Did I succeed? E-mail me and tell me what you think at romancherubx@aol.com. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE E-MAIL ME!! However, no flames.

Disclaimer: No, I do not own Gundam wing or any of the characters. I DO own this fic, though, so don't use it without my permission UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES.