Rebirth ~ By Fujin
Author's note: Hi! Okay I was at this site for Evangelion images and low and behold I see a picture of Asuka. Not your normal one with the long red air and the cat-like headset but with short hair and no headset. I though she looked amazing but then she sorta looked like Rei. 0_o Some of you know what I am talking about. I don't know why she cut her hair (it's probably in a movie) but it looks good on her so I'm writing this fic for her hair and for her memories. This probably doesn't even follow the movie's concepts. Gomen. I just want t write this! If you hate this fic, don't you flame me! I'll cry. ^^;
Disclaimer: Evangelion belongs to other people.
Stuff….
When Eva Unit 01 talks in Asuka's mind
When Asuka talks in her mind
~A memory~
~~Someone else talking in Asuka's mind~~
gaki-brat
hai-yes
arigatou-thank you
~*~*~*~
You were always jealous of her ~ Eva Unit 01 spoke softly into Asuka's mind.
The sliver blade of the scissors gleamed in the golden lamplight that filled the room.
You were always envious.
She was just a doll.
Did you love her?
Despite it's awesome build the voice that song to Asuka's mind was soft, too soft. Almost motherly but at the same time, sinister. The young redheaded girl was weary as she answered the voice…
I might have. It's none of your business.
With a sigh, Asuka shook her head as if clearing it from all the demons that possessed her. Mother, father, abuse, pain, her menstrual cycle, growing into a woman, facing womanhood alone, the Evas, Shinji, Rei, Misato, blood, Kaji, the angels…Asuka wanted to wash them all away.
Do you want to forget everything?
No.
Asuka looked at herself in the mirror. Her eyes were deep and searching. Searching for what? Sympathy? Release? Release from what? Life? Death? Friendship? Womanhood? The Evas? Asuka looked over her face and her long red hair. She looked so much like her father sometimes; she acted so much like her mother something. Sometimes she could be as gentle as Rei, as passive as Shinji, and as crazy as Misato. Of course she could not forget them. She didn't want too. But she wanted to be herself (had to be herself)-released from all the burdens God had placed on her shoulders. She had to be reborn. Heavy memories still made her the former self no one so much as liked.
Who are you?
Asuka….
Who are you?
Langley…
Who are you!?
Sohryu…
Who are you?
I am my mother's doll. My father's forgotten child. Shinji's tormentor. Rei's enemy. Misato's worst nightmare.
You have no clue who are you are!
I am the red warrior. I am the sun. I am the fire. I am the melter of ice.
You are the lost little girl, afraid to cry!
I'm not. I can cry. I can feel pain like the rest of them.
Who are you? ~ Unit 01 hissed once more.
Asuka stared numbly at the mirror; her eyes were vacant as she forced her soul against the Eva's, pushing the ghost out of her mind.
"I am the motherless child," Asuka answered, slowly taking off the red cat-like headset from her crown. She placed in quickly on the table before her and grabbed the scissors. Her hands shook but she didn't care.
You can't live with those memories, Asuka! You need them! Your body needs them!
I am me, Unit 01. That is who I am. I don't need memories to carve out my existence! I don't need you! I hate you!
You can't live without me!
You're wrong, It's you who can't live without me.
With that Asuka grabbed a lock of red hair and ran the blade of the scissors through it. The lock fell limply into her lap. She watched it for a moment, biting her lower lip. Unit 01 hissed inside her mind. Asuka drove the blade across another lock.
~Shinji screaming in pain as an angel ripped about his Eva~
The second long red lock joined the other.
~Blood seeping through the white bandages covering Rei's small body~
~The empty sounds of an eva that wouldn't work~
~Kaji's message to Misato playing over and over again~
Asuka paused for a moment, looking up in the mirror. Half of her hair was shoulder length and other hair was still there-heavy with too much memory. Ever determined, Asuka frowned as she reached behind her and grabbed a fist full of hair.
~The pains of her monthly~
The weighty tufts of her hair fells down her back, to the floor where they lay like discarded souls.
~The destruction of Tokyo-3~
~The manipulation of Gendo Ikari~
~The disappearance of Yui~
~The jealousy of Naoko Akagi~
~The insanity of her daughter~
~The hanging body of her own mother~
~The loneliness of her childhood~
~The abandonment, the pain, and hurt~
Asuka was almost finished. Just one lock left to severe.
~The lost of herself, of her childhood, of her innocence, of her soul~
Asuka calmly placed the scissors down on the table. She breathed softly as she glanced down to her lap. Even though the memories were gone they still lingered. She glared momentarily at the lock on her lap.
It's too difficult to get rid of them. The memories of the battles, of your pain, of you life are too strong to let go of. Their song too bittersweet to ingore. You can't live without them; you can't breath without them. The memories or in your blood; in your fate.
"My fate is still a mystery," Asuka murmured, playing with a little lock of her hair between her two fingers. "Memories won't rule me now." With a sigh, she raised her eyes and pushed the long hair away. They fell to the ground; red blood drops on the white floor. She didn't cry out in pain. She didn't feel any. "I have no memories. Only friends to help me find myself."
And have you found yourself ~ Unit 01 snickered.
"Yes." Asuka looked into the mirror and saw herself as if fir the first time. There was a small smile on her lips as slow tears filled her eyes, hesitantly. "I've been reborn."
She slowly moved her hand through her shot red hair, then both. She laughed and shook her head vigorously, sending the lose strands of hair far away from her. She felt so free. Gone was the weight of the burden that was all too much for her to carry.
You look like Rei Ayanami ~ Unit 01 pointed out.
Asuka glanced at herself in the large mirror for the second time. She wasn't startled that what the Eva said was true. In fact the admission made her smile all he more.
Maybe I'm her sister ~ Asuka's mind laughed with another push again the spirit in her head.
Maybe I did this for Shinji or for his mother. Mostly likely I did it for myself.
You are a doll ~ Unit 01 hissed as she left Asuka's mind.
Yeah, and you are just a dumb robot.
When the ghost of Unit 01 withdrew from Asuka mind she didn't even bother to see the flash of red in Asuka's eyes or the streaks of brown in her red hair.
"Unit 01, you have forgotten to mention that I am a part of Misato too."
~~I always get left out!~~ A familiar voice entered Asuka's mind. ~~That's no fair!~~
"She heard you the time you called her apiece of junk, Misato," Asuka laughed gently at the spirit of the woman inside of her.
~~Tst, tst. The Eva are so touchy-feely!~~
~~Second child, are you sure about this?~~a second voice, this time it was a much softer one, played with Asuka's mind. ~~I mean you do look so much like us. Shinji might….~~
"He will be fine, Ayanami," the girl replied, brushing her hair. "Plus he shouldn't be worried. He gets three hot babes all in one package."
Asuka smiled when she heard the other girl giggle in her head.
~~Thank you, gaki~~ Misato's spirit murmured suddenly.
~Hai, Arigatou, Second~~
Asuka shrugged as she stood up. "Don't worry about, peeps," she said tot hem. "I had to get ride of our bad karma anyway. Boy, it feels so nice to be reborn again! I feel like I am a new person!"
~~You are a new person, Asuka!~~ Misato reminded her.
~~Hai, you have Misato and I inside you now.~~
Asuka yawned and stood up. "Three person or one person, I'm beat. I'll talk to you guys later. Sorry, it's too late to surprise Shinji now. We will just have to wait in the morning. Hopefully he will choke on his breakfast. That would be a memory worth keeping"
The End(of a strange little ficcy)
Have any of you seen Elizabeth? You know the scene at the end when she cuts her hair too-doesn't this remind you of it? 0_o