…SURVIVOR…
1
Author:
Chikki
~*~*~*~
Staring
over her balcony, her eyes came to rest on a young couple holding hands and
walking along the beach.
A
sour feeling ran through her body as she watched them kissing and smiling
without a care in the world.
"Just
wait until he leaves you. Then we will see how much you'll be smiling!" she
said with distaste in her voice.
Walking
back inside she switched on the television.
Flicking
through the channels she came across the daily soap 'Days of Our Lives'.
"Wake
up Carrie … can't you see that he doesn't love you. As much as he says that he
does … he must be lying because why would he leave me … I mean you … he mustn't
love you enough or not at all if he can just walk away from me … I mean you …
Ughhh for God's sake just leave her already Austin and let her life wilt away
without love and comfort … Angel … I mean Austin … just walk out of her life
and never turn back to see me crying for you…"
~
For
two years now she had lived a life of solitude.
Almost
a life of a hermit.
A
life without him.
He
had left her … left her standing there staring at him as he just walked away.
He
walked away.
She
had stayed in Sunnydale for all of two days after her graduation and then she
fled. She had to get away from there.
Away
from the memories that haunted her.
Away
from him … even though he had gone away from her.
She
wrote a note for everyone. Her Mum, Willow, Xander, Giles and him.
But
he never got her note because she still had it.
She
did not have an address to send it to him.
She
didn't want to send it to him because that would mean that he really did leave
her.
He
left her.
~
She
opened the fridge to reveal only fruit juice and pickles.
She
hated pickles but had the need to have them in her fridge anyway.
Maybe
HE liked pickles and he would one day turn up and she would have them there to
give to him.
But
he hadn't turned up in two years … and the pickles were all mouldy now.
No
… they have to stay there … just in case!
She
picked up her purse, keys and sunglasses and headed for the front door.
Walking
along the bright streets … she put her sunglasses on because that brought her
some comfort.
It
was darker. He was apart of the darkness.
Maybe
if she brought the sunglasses with the darkest tint in the world then he would
be able to walk with her along the street … because it would be dark enough for
him not to be burnt.
But
he burnt her … so why can't he get a little burnt?
Because
if he did burn … he would be dead!
But
wasn't she dead when he left her.
She
died inside.
Not
just a little bit.
But
everything inside of her was burnt.
Dead.
She
brought a bagel from the bakery and walked aimlessly around the streets.
She
was a shell of her former self.
Blocking
out all of her emotions … that was the only thing that she could think of to do
so that she wouldn't be hurt again.
But
who was she kidding. Being hurt again.
No
one would ever get that close to her again to hurt her. He was and always would
be the only man that has her heart. And her knew that. And he still hurt her.
Broke
it into a million pieces.
It
was broken so much that she couldn't find all of the pieces to put it back
together.
But
she didn't want to put it back together … because he could just break it again.
So
her heart was cold now.
Her
faith in love was long gone.
Back
at her apartment she ate a few bites of her bagel and then tossed it in the
bin.
Again
she went out onto the balcony and stared at the outside world.
There
lives were so sheltered. They don't know what goes bump in the night.
They
don't know that demons roam the world in the darkness.
They
don't know how much they could get hurt.
Hurt
by the monster's and demons and … and … and … him.
They
don't know that he could kill you from the inside out.
That
he could love you so much and then leave you to die alone.
That
he could burn you.
That
he had burnt her.
*
My
love
My
life
My
soul
My
heart
You
go
I
hurt
You
leave
I
stay
It
pains
It
breaks
It
kills
It
aches
You're
gone
I'm
here
You've
left
I'm
burnt
It's
broken
It's
dead
It's
cold
It's
numb
You're
back
I'm
dreaming
You're
away
I'm
alone
*
~*~
TBC…
~Chikki~
B/A
lover/shipper/believer for eternity!