Note: Here's the next chapter. Got it out quick didn't I? Way to go me! Anyway, I must state how Zim is not my creation and how I'm not trying to make any money off him. He is owned by Jhonen Vasquez *hope i spelled that right* , creator of things like Johnny the Homicidal Maniac, and therefore I'm just doing this for the fun of it...... ok i lied, I'm doing it for the chicks.
Chapter 2: Green Giant Aplenty
The day went by very quickly for the dress clad Dib. Days seemed to go like this often when Dib had a thought. That thought just so happened to be a plan that may end the Irken invasion and Zim, once and for all. As the last bell of the school day rang, Dib walked out of the skool and looked for Gaz.
"Hey Girlie Boy!" Dib turned around in a state of fear as he recognized the voice that was making fun of him. He looked up to see the boy who happened to be the size of a mack truck, pounding his fist against the open side of his opposite palm. He was the official bully of skool and the children called him.......ANDREW!
"What is it, Andrew?" Dib said as he turned his back to the bully, still looking for Gaz.
"You gonna... you gonna get a taxi cab driver as a husband and marry him and have some kids in the country with that pretty dress on?"
"You know Andrew, I've heard a lot of insults thrown at me in my day, but that had to be the most confusing illiteration I've ever heard in my entire natural life."
"You're the 'most confoosing illib...illic...illitarlation I've ever hoid in mine tire nature leaf'."
Dib sighed as he reached for something in the back pocket of his skirt. "Look Andrew, if you leave me alone, I'll give you this shiny new light ray."
Andrew looked at the light ray for a second and then looked back up at Dib, then back at the light ray, then back at Dib. This process went on for a good ten minutes or so before Andrew finally spoke. "You're a 'shiny nu lit roy'."
Dib sighed even harder as he was finally able to give the bully the light ray in exchange for not being pounded. The bully turned the poorly made flashlight on and off as he giggled to himself. Dib spotted his sister in the crowd of kids and made a break for it while Andrew was preoccupied.
"So how was your day, Thumbellina?" Gaz asked as she tapped away at her newest game, Attack of the Flying Monkeys.
"Couldn't have gone better!" Dib said with a smile on his face as they began to walk toward home.
"Why's that? No runs in your stockings?" Gaz giggled to herself.
"You know what Gaz, you're lucky you're a girl or I'd..."
"Get beat even worse because I would be that much stronger for being a guy?" Gaz interrupted with a smile on her face.
"..... yes." Dib whimpered as the two kept walking. "But anyway, once we get home, I'll be able to show you my greatest new technological achievement of all time which will save the world and destroy Zim."
"You'll see Gir," Zim said as he arrived home from skool and walked over to his secret trash can entrance to his lab. "once we get home to Irk, I'll be able to show you some of the greatest new technological achieve... Gir?"
"Yeeeesss?" Gir asked.
"Why are you eating your hand?"
"I'm all bready." Zim looked at his robotic slave and noticed that Gir was in fact 'all bready'. Gir gave himself a big hug and kept chewing on his right hand.
"Hmmmm... This must be because of that rampant toast you ate this morning." Zim examined the small robot and poked at him with one of his large spider-like legs that popped out of his metallic backpack. Gir giggled as the leg kept poking at him until one poke knocked out one of his eyes. "Thats no good."
"I'm Sammy Davis Jr.! WEEEEEEE!" Gir began to frolic around the living room as Zim took out a smal computerized notepad.
"Note to self, discover what is a 'Sammy..... Davis..... Jr.'" Zim pressed a button on the notepad and it zipped back into his backpack. "Gir?"
"I'm wheat bread!"
"GIR!!!" Zim yelled at the top of his lungs as the small robot stopped in its tracks with its bread eyes now glaring red.
"Yes my master?" Gir asked as he saluted Zim.
"Get down into the lab and remodulize yourself back to your old form using one of my many inventions. I will need you for what is coming ahead."
"Yes MY MASTER!" Gir quickly ran over to the trash can entrance with Zim following slowly behind.
"Truly of all the robots in the universe, I must be fated to be with the only robot in all of creation to have the stupidity to turn itself into bread." Zim sighed to himself and slowly went down the entrance. As he entered his lab, a look of fear fell upon Zim as he looked up at a small creature standing next to his computer. "THE MONKEY!?"
"I'm the scary monkey!" the monkey said as it began to run around the lab.
"The monkey? HERE? NOW? I was not prepared! I thought surely he would try to make an attack upon my person one day, but never this soon. Well, my preparations for your arrival may not be done yet Mr. Scary Monkey, but these will have to do!" As Zim said this, two huge weapons blasted out of the top of his backpack. Zim grabbed the double edged blade looking weapon in one hand, and the large shotgun looking weapon in the other. As he caught them, a small computerized motion detector came out of his backpack and placed itself over his right eye. "Let's dance monkey!"
"I'm not a monkey, It's me!" The small robot took off the scary monkey disguise, revealing his now back to normal non bread like state. "I'm Gir."
"..... Of course you are, of course you are." Zim said as he frantically shook, paralyzed in fear of the thought of the actual scary monkey being in his lab. "I was just testing you. Thats it, testing you. To see what would happen if the true monkey came into my lab."
"Oh... ok!"
As all of the weapons and the motion detector slipped back into his backpack, the small notepad came out and Zim once again opened it up. "Note to self, look into nuclear capability defense systems and weapons in case of...*gulp*... monkey attacks."
"This stupid monkey keeps attacking me!" Gaz said as she began to bang the game harder and harder with her fingers. Dib was in the corner finally taking off Gaz's clothes and was able to find some of his own clothes in the wash.
"Nevermind the game Gaz, you have to see my newest creation."
"I'll give you five minutes."
"More than enough time." Dib quickly went into his now torn apart closet because of the alarm robot attack and looked to find a dusty box. He wiped the dust off the top of the box and quickly opened it. "Ah, its still here."
"What is it?" Gaz wondered as she tried to get a peak at whatever Dib was holding.
"Wait there as I make a few alterations to this." Gaz stepped away from the closet as she continued to play her game. The house began to shake with the noises of buzzsaws, hammers, and strangely, Canadian geese.
"Hurry up already, I'm running out of batteries!"
"One more letter there and.. I'm DONE!" Dib quickly ran out of the closet slammed the door behind him and stood in front of Gaz.
"So... what is it?" Gaz said as she actually started to become interested in her brother's latest creation.
"As I've said, this creation will be the savior of the human race, BEHOLD!" Dib finally held up his creation in his hands. It was an old Sprout costume, loyal sidekick to the Green Giant, with television antennae stapled to the head. Paint was messily slopped onto the costume to make the hands seem like black gloves and boots for feet, with the rest of it being red. The eyes had swim goggles strapped to them which also gave off the appearance of red. On the chest, in big black letters read 'Don't mind me, I'm an Irken Invader. Just like you.'
"...... I can't even find the words."
"Great isn't it? Granted it was an old costume from awhile back, but now I'll be able to infiltrate Irk with little to no one suspecting my true intentions. But wait thats not all!"
"Uggg." Gaz sighed as she awaited her brother's next horrible creation.
"Here's the coupe de grat!" Dib wheeled out a large trash can which in big black letters read 'Don't mind me, I'm a robot with the Irken Invader who is not, REPEAT, NOT a human being from the planet earth named Dib.' "I call him Dir, the D stands for Dib."
"Before this day I thought even your stupidity had a fallout point, but now, you have proved me wrong. I'll be in my room." Gaz walked out of her brother's room and clomped her way down the hall.
"JEALOUS!" Dib yelled as he wheeled his trusty 'robot' back into the closet. "Everything's ready, all I must do now is find out when Zim is going back to Irk and he's as good as mine! MUUHAHAHAHAHAHA!"
"Green Giant! Bum bum bum!" A mysterious voice cried out to interrupt Dib's laughter.
"Where'd that come from?"
"Now all we must do Gir is contact the tallest and confirm our plans."
"Plans backwards is Snalp!" Gir said with glee as he began to roll his body across the floor of the lab.
"Yes it is Gir..... yes it is." As Zim said this, he punched a variety of numbers into his computer and the two Tallest appeared on the screen, lounging next to an Irken Beach.
"So the doctor says, 'Rectum, DARN NEAR KILLED HIM! HAHAHAHA!"
"HAHAHAHAHA! Oh! ZIM!" The two tallest quickly got out of their reclining beach chairs and looked into the screen. "Are you reporting to tell us that you've gotten a horrible virus?"
"No."
"A severe injury?"
"No."
"You're a ghost now?" As the red tallest said this, the purple tallest crossed his fingers.
"NO! I'm simply reporting back to tell you that in the morning I will be travelling by ship back to Irk."
"Thats not necessary Zim, we'll simply teleport you over here."
"You can teleport people now? Why didn't you just do that with me to earth?" Zim asked.
"Well simply put we just wanted to ghhfgjghto." The red tallest mumbled away from the screen.
"What was that? You trailed off there." Zim said as he banged his fist against the screen, thinking it as bad reception.
"Never you mind Zim, now stand in this exact spot in the mor-nin-g and we will teleport you back to Irk."
"Very well my tallest. Invader Zim out." The screen went to black as the two tallest looked at one another.
"So anyway, then Johnny pulled out this huge chainsaw and I was like 'WHOA JOHNNY! WHOA!'" The purple eyed tallest said as he reclined back into his chair.
"Classic." The red tallest replied as he sipped on his fine Irken drink.
"You hear that world, Zim is going HOME!" Zim yelled as he cackled into the night.
"Thats right Zim," Dib exclaimed as he sat outside of Zim's lab window with an earpiece to the surface. "you're going home. However, you're going to have some guests along the way, right Dir?"
"........"
"RIGHT DIR?"
"........"
"Oh right, you can't talk, silly me. HAHAHAHAHAHA!"
"GREEN GIANT! BUM BUM BUM!"
End Chapter 2
Well that was fun wasn't it kiddies? Will Zim make it home? Will Dib and Dir follow along for the ride? Has the monkey secretly been plotting against Zim since the day he set his foot on earth? Has Gir really been changed back from his bready form or has he just been changed to a more non...bready....thing? Who keeps yelling out Green Giant? All of these and more will be revealed..... Ok maybe like 3.... ok 2..... all right NONE OF THEM WILL BE REVEALED NEXT CHAPTER! YOU HAPPY? HUH? HUH? Anyway, stay tuned and review. Thanx. Peace.
Chapter 2: Green Giant Aplenty
The day went by very quickly for the dress clad Dib. Days seemed to go like this often when Dib had a thought. That thought just so happened to be a plan that may end the Irken invasion and Zim, once and for all. As the last bell of the school day rang, Dib walked out of the skool and looked for Gaz.
"Hey Girlie Boy!" Dib turned around in a state of fear as he recognized the voice that was making fun of him. He looked up to see the boy who happened to be the size of a mack truck, pounding his fist against the open side of his opposite palm. He was the official bully of skool and the children called him.......ANDREW!
"What is it, Andrew?" Dib said as he turned his back to the bully, still looking for Gaz.
"You gonna... you gonna get a taxi cab driver as a husband and marry him and have some kids in the country with that pretty dress on?"
"You know Andrew, I've heard a lot of insults thrown at me in my day, but that had to be the most confusing illiteration I've ever heard in my entire natural life."
"You're the 'most confoosing illib...illic...illitarlation I've ever hoid in mine tire nature leaf'."
Dib sighed as he reached for something in the back pocket of his skirt. "Look Andrew, if you leave me alone, I'll give you this shiny new light ray."
Andrew looked at the light ray for a second and then looked back up at Dib, then back at the light ray, then back at Dib. This process went on for a good ten minutes or so before Andrew finally spoke. "You're a 'shiny nu lit roy'."
Dib sighed even harder as he was finally able to give the bully the light ray in exchange for not being pounded. The bully turned the poorly made flashlight on and off as he giggled to himself. Dib spotted his sister in the crowd of kids and made a break for it while Andrew was preoccupied.
"So how was your day, Thumbellina?" Gaz asked as she tapped away at her newest game, Attack of the Flying Monkeys.
"Couldn't have gone better!" Dib said with a smile on his face as they began to walk toward home.
"Why's that? No runs in your stockings?" Gaz giggled to herself.
"You know what Gaz, you're lucky you're a girl or I'd..."
"Get beat even worse because I would be that much stronger for being a guy?" Gaz interrupted with a smile on her face.
"..... yes." Dib whimpered as the two kept walking. "But anyway, once we get home, I'll be able to show you my greatest new technological achievement of all time which will save the world and destroy Zim."
"You'll see Gir," Zim said as he arrived home from skool and walked over to his secret trash can entrance to his lab. "once we get home to Irk, I'll be able to show you some of the greatest new technological achieve... Gir?"
"Yeeeesss?" Gir asked.
"Why are you eating your hand?"
"I'm all bready." Zim looked at his robotic slave and noticed that Gir was in fact 'all bready'. Gir gave himself a big hug and kept chewing on his right hand.
"Hmmmm... This must be because of that rampant toast you ate this morning." Zim examined the small robot and poked at him with one of his large spider-like legs that popped out of his metallic backpack. Gir giggled as the leg kept poking at him until one poke knocked out one of his eyes. "Thats no good."
"I'm Sammy Davis Jr.! WEEEEEEE!" Gir began to frolic around the living room as Zim took out a smal computerized notepad.
"Note to self, discover what is a 'Sammy..... Davis..... Jr.'" Zim pressed a button on the notepad and it zipped back into his backpack. "Gir?"
"I'm wheat bread!"
"GIR!!!" Zim yelled at the top of his lungs as the small robot stopped in its tracks with its bread eyes now glaring red.
"Yes my master?" Gir asked as he saluted Zim.
"Get down into the lab and remodulize yourself back to your old form using one of my many inventions. I will need you for what is coming ahead."
"Yes MY MASTER!" Gir quickly ran over to the trash can entrance with Zim following slowly behind.
"Truly of all the robots in the universe, I must be fated to be with the only robot in all of creation to have the stupidity to turn itself into bread." Zim sighed to himself and slowly went down the entrance. As he entered his lab, a look of fear fell upon Zim as he looked up at a small creature standing next to his computer. "THE MONKEY!?"
"I'm the scary monkey!" the monkey said as it began to run around the lab.
"The monkey? HERE? NOW? I was not prepared! I thought surely he would try to make an attack upon my person one day, but never this soon. Well, my preparations for your arrival may not be done yet Mr. Scary Monkey, but these will have to do!" As Zim said this, two huge weapons blasted out of the top of his backpack. Zim grabbed the double edged blade looking weapon in one hand, and the large shotgun looking weapon in the other. As he caught them, a small computerized motion detector came out of his backpack and placed itself over his right eye. "Let's dance monkey!"
"I'm not a monkey, It's me!" The small robot took off the scary monkey disguise, revealing his now back to normal non bread like state. "I'm Gir."
"..... Of course you are, of course you are." Zim said as he frantically shook, paralyzed in fear of the thought of the actual scary monkey being in his lab. "I was just testing you. Thats it, testing you. To see what would happen if the true monkey came into my lab."
"Oh... ok!"
As all of the weapons and the motion detector slipped back into his backpack, the small notepad came out and Zim once again opened it up. "Note to self, look into nuclear capability defense systems and weapons in case of...*gulp*... monkey attacks."
"This stupid monkey keeps attacking me!" Gaz said as she began to bang the game harder and harder with her fingers. Dib was in the corner finally taking off Gaz's clothes and was able to find some of his own clothes in the wash.
"Nevermind the game Gaz, you have to see my newest creation."
"I'll give you five minutes."
"More than enough time." Dib quickly went into his now torn apart closet because of the alarm robot attack and looked to find a dusty box. He wiped the dust off the top of the box and quickly opened it. "Ah, its still here."
"What is it?" Gaz wondered as she tried to get a peak at whatever Dib was holding.
"Wait there as I make a few alterations to this." Gaz stepped away from the closet as she continued to play her game. The house began to shake with the noises of buzzsaws, hammers, and strangely, Canadian geese.
"Hurry up already, I'm running out of batteries!"
"One more letter there and.. I'm DONE!" Dib quickly ran out of the closet slammed the door behind him and stood in front of Gaz.
"So... what is it?" Gaz said as she actually started to become interested in her brother's latest creation.
"As I've said, this creation will be the savior of the human race, BEHOLD!" Dib finally held up his creation in his hands. It was an old Sprout costume, loyal sidekick to the Green Giant, with television antennae stapled to the head. Paint was messily slopped onto the costume to make the hands seem like black gloves and boots for feet, with the rest of it being red. The eyes had swim goggles strapped to them which also gave off the appearance of red. On the chest, in big black letters read 'Don't mind me, I'm an Irken Invader. Just like you.'
"...... I can't even find the words."
"Great isn't it? Granted it was an old costume from awhile back, but now I'll be able to infiltrate Irk with little to no one suspecting my true intentions. But wait thats not all!"
"Uggg." Gaz sighed as she awaited her brother's next horrible creation.
"Here's the coupe de grat!" Dib wheeled out a large trash can which in big black letters read 'Don't mind me, I'm a robot with the Irken Invader who is not, REPEAT, NOT a human being from the planet earth named Dib.' "I call him Dir, the D stands for Dib."
"Before this day I thought even your stupidity had a fallout point, but now, you have proved me wrong. I'll be in my room." Gaz walked out of her brother's room and clomped her way down the hall.
"JEALOUS!" Dib yelled as he wheeled his trusty 'robot' back into the closet. "Everything's ready, all I must do now is find out when Zim is going back to Irk and he's as good as mine! MUUHAHAHAHAHAHA!"
"Green Giant! Bum bum bum!" A mysterious voice cried out to interrupt Dib's laughter.
"Where'd that come from?"
"Now all we must do Gir is contact the tallest and confirm our plans."
"Plans backwards is Snalp!" Gir said with glee as he began to roll his body across the floor of the lab.
"Yes it is Gir..... yes it is." As Zim said this, he punched a variety of numbers into his computer and the two Tallest appeared on the screen, lounging next to an Irken Beach.
"So the doctor says, 'Rectum, DARN NEAR KILLED HIM! HAHAHAHA!"
"HAHAHAHAHA! Oh! ZIM!" The two tallest quickly got out of their reclining beach chairs and looked into the screen. "Are you reporting to tell us that you've gotten a horrible virus?"
"No."
"A severe injury?"
"No."
"You're a ghost now?" As the red tallest said this, the purple tallest crossed his fingers.
"NO! I'm simply reporting back to tell you that in the morning I will be travelling by ship back to Irk."
"Thats not necessary Zim, we'll simply teleport you over here."
"You can teleport people now? Why didn't you just do that with me to earth?" Zim asked.
"Well simply put we just wanted to ghhfgjghto." The red tallest mumbled away from the screen.
"What was that? You trailed off there." Zim said as he banged his fist against the screen, thinking it as bad reception.
"Never you mind Zim, now stand in this exact spot in the mor-nin-g and we will teleport you back to Irk."
"Very well my tallest. Invader Zim out." The screen went to black as the two tallest looked at one another.
"So anyway, then Johnny pulled out this huge chainsaw and I was like 'WHOA JOHNNY! WHOA!'" The purple eyed tallest said as he reclined back into his chair.
"Classic." The red tallest replied as he sipped on his fine Irken drink.
"You hear that world, Zim is going HOME!" Zim yelled as he cackled into the night.
"Thats right Zim," Dib exclaimed as he sat outside of Zim's lab window with an earpiece to the surface. "you're going home. However, you're going to have some guests along the way, right Dir?"
"........"
"RIGHT DIR?"
"........"
"Oh right, you can't talk, silly me. HAHAHAHAHAHA!"
"GREEN GIANT! BUM BUM BUM!"
End Chapter 2
Well that was fun wasn't it kiddies? Will Zim make it home? Will Dib and Dir follow along for the ride? Has the monkey secretly been plotting against Zim since the day he set his foot on earth? Has Gir really been changed back from his bready form or has he just been changed to a more non...bready....thing? Who keeps yelling out Green Giant? All of these and more will be revealed..... Ok maybe like 3.... ok 2..... all right NONE OF THEM WILL BE REVEALED NEXT CHAPTER! YOU HAPPY? HUH? HUH? Anyway, stay tuned and review. Thanx. Peace.