She could see through the skylight and into the dark, starry night. She would sit here and stare up at the stars, thinking about everything that would seem out of place in her mind: her thoughts of love and meloncoly that every person dreams of, even unintentionally.
Friends lost and friends gained, loves come and loves passed, these were the things she didn't usually think about but seemed so right in the spot under the stars where everything was shining back at her and anyone else that was sitting beneath them. Maybe he was there too...
That had been the cardinal thought. Him. It was undetermined whether she loved him or hated him but either way she had some strong feeling for him that plauged her dreams and unconcious delusion of life after social breathing. Life behind the mask that hid her true face.
After she left and moved away it was like a little needle in the back of her mind. She kept telling herself he was just a bastard and that she hated him as any girl should once through the relationship...if you could even call it that. They never went out. They never even kissed, it had just been superficiality caked around both of them to give them the security everyone else had, or thought they had.
He was there when the busy mindful notings of everyday life calmed. He was there when she was busy and talking to other people. He was there, just always there. He'd sit there and stare at her in the back of her mind like she was some idiot that no one should ever care about. It was because of him that she nearly lost it.
He fit in with everyone but was so different, there was soemthing in him that he didn't want coming out and letting other people see...she knew it had to be there. She had seen it in the beginning but it became fainter and fainter as time wore on and they stayed together but grew further apart. They had never belonged together.
She still blamed herself. If she'd only given it more time, only had more confidence to say little things that other people said like a welcome, "hello" or just sat back when he put his arm around her but it had felt wrong. Out of place and faked.
So they broke up only to leave her in the pain. He had become the popular one, the one everyone loved and wanted to be while she stayed the same, even more depressed. He had gone through a change and was so different from anything else he could have ever thought he would be. Three years and he was a new person.
Three years...some people get married after that long. Maybe even after one or two. Some people do.
That was her problem. She wanted what other people had and yet she wanted to be different. Two things in her head and neither was winning. Always between what she wants and what pained her she would live: he had showed her this. He had showed her what she was damned to and opened her mind. That was his purpose and now it was through.
So why, years later, why did it still hurt?
___
A/N: That's Mimi and Matt after a breakup. I wrote it based on my thoughts about this guy that I went out with...(lopsided smile) I'm kinda getting over it. =) R/R/, pleez! Flames are fine, thank u.
Friends lost and friends gained, loves come and loves passed, these were the things she didn't usually think about but seemed so right in the spot under the stars where everything was shining back at her and anyone else that was sitting beneath them. Maybe he was there too...
That had been the cardinal thought. Him. It was undetermined whether she loved him or hated him but either way she had some strong feeling for him that plauged her dreams and unconcious delusion of life after social breathing. Life behind the mask that hid her true face.
After she left and moved away it was like a little needle in the back of her mind. She kept telling herself he was just a bastard and that she hated him as any girl should once through the relationship...if you could even call it that. They never went out. They never even kissed, it had just been superficiality caked around both of them to give them the security everyone else had, or thought they had.
He was there when the busy mindful notings of everyday life calmed. He was there when she was busy and talking to other people. He was there, just always there. He'd sit there and stare at her in the back of her mind like she was some idiot that no one should ever care about. It was because of him that she nearly lost it.
He fit in with everyone but was so different, there was soemthing in him that he didn't want coming out and letting other people see...she knew it had to be there. She had seen it in the beginning but it became fainter and fainter as time wore on and they stayed together but grew further apart. They had never belonged together.
She still blamed herself. If she'd only given it more time, only had more confidence to say little things that other people said like a welcome, "hello" or just sat back when he put his arm around her but it had felt wrong. Out of place and faked.
So they broke up only to leave her in the pain. He had become the popular one, the one everyone loved and wanted to be while she stayed the same, even more depressed. He had gone through a change and was so different from anything else he could have ever thought he would be. Three years and he was a new person.
Three years...some people get married after that long. Maybe even after one or two. Some people do.
That was her problem. She wanted what other people had and yet she wanted to be different. Two things in her head and neither was winning. Always between what she wants and what pained her she would live: he had showed her this. He had showed her what she was damned to and opened her mind. That was his purpose and now it was through.
So why, years later, why did it still hurt?
___
A/N: That's Mimi and Matt after a breakup. I wrote it based on my thoughts about this guy that I went out with...(lopsided smile) I'm kinda getting over it. =) R/R/, pleez! Flames are fine, thank u.