The following preview is rated Pg and has been rated as such by the American Motion Picture Society. The reason why we have ratings, I'll never know....
GET READY FOR THE FEEL GOOD FILM OF THE SUMMER!
"I'm gonna get you Zim."
The camera does a close shot on Dib's face.
WATCH THE BETRAYAL
"HOW COULD YOU TAKE THE PANTS?"
"I did it for you can't you understand that? NOBODY LOVES ME!"
WATCH THE SUPRISES
"And the father is....."
Zim, Dib and Gir look around nervously as they stand next to Gaz who's pregnant and laying in a hospital bed.
WATCH THE DOWNRIGHT HORROR OF LIFE
"....Invader Zim is owned by Jhonen Vasquez and the author is not doing anything Toooo bad with the character so..... ASTEROID! AAAAAA!"
Asteroid smashes into earth.
WATCH THE COMEDY
"My baby is dead and I couldn't do anything to save her."
"I'm so sorry I tried everything I could to save him.... Did I say him? I meant her! HAHAHAHA! What a mistake on my part eh? HAHAHAHAHA But anyway sorry about the malpractice and everything."
THIS SUMMER, PULL.....UP.....YOUR....KHAKIS!
Ok time out, honestly enjoy Invader Dib. Here ya go. Watch the comedy, jeez what was I thinking?
Chapter 4: Irk smells like.....Pants!
Dib and Zim slammed into the barren ground of the world known as Irk. The young boy who was laying on top of an unconscious Zim, noticed that both Dir and Gir were attached to his leg. He quickly released their grip and began to look at the surrounding area.
"Good God." Dib exclaimed as he looked at the large red buildings and numerous amounts of cold technological environments. "It's like being trapped inside Andy Dick's head. Better put on my disguise before anyone is able to notice I'm different."
Putting on the horrible Invader disguise, Dib picked up his trashcan slave and wheeled it past Zim's body.
"Where....do...you.....think...you're going?" Zim said as he grabbed onto Dib's leg with a kung fu grip worthy of a Gi-Joe action figure.
"A kung fu grip? But I'm the one who's supposed to know kuuunggg fuuu." Dib cried in a whiny voice with a pouty look on his face.
"You would dare to do this to me? ON MY OWN WORLD! INEXCUSABLE! INEXCUSABLE!" Zim let go of Dib's foot, sprang to his feet and pulled out a huge cannon shaped weapon. "I don't know why I didn't bother to do this to you before."
"Because if you had the plot of the show would be fairly dull."
"Show?"
"Don't worry about it."
"Anyway, NOW YOU DIE BY AN IRKEN'S HANDS!"
"Wait Zim! Put down the gun! I mean you don't want to blast me right? You want to fall in love with me or my sister!" Dib yelled out as an astonished Zim lowered his gun.
"WHAT? Why would I want to fall in love with a human filthbeast?"
"Because that's what they want you to do!" Dib said as he pointed in Zim's opposite direction.
"They?" Zim quickly spun around. "I don't see any....." As he turned back, he looked at an empty space where Dib used to be. "DIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIBBBBBBBBBBBBBBB!"
"Lozenge?" Gir asked as he held out a fresh pack of mints.
"..... Come on Gir, tonight, we're eating Soylent green!"
"AAAAAA! SOYLENT GREEN IS PEOPLE! ITS PEOPLE!" Gir cried out as he began to run around frantically in circles.
"Exactly." Zim said as he began to lick the place where his....lips....would...be.... I guess. "Wait, we don't eat people, nevermind Gir, lets just find Dib."
"All righty."
"All righty Dir," Dib said as he ran as fast as he could with Dir in his arms. "We've made it and you know what that means don't you?"
"........"
"That's right Dir, chicken is better than toothpaste but we have to..." Before Dir could finish his sentence, he slammed into something rather large and flew backwards a couple feet. As he slowly started to regain his brain cells, he looked up to see two figures standing over him.
"And what do we have here?" Asked the purple tallest as he leaned over the disguised Dib.
"I don't know my friend, what do we have here?" The red tallest followed suit.
"I'LL TELL YOU!" Zim said as he ran over to the three of them.
"Oh no, he'll blow my cover."
"You know who this is Zim?" the purple asked.
"YES! He's a human who followed me here!"
"Hmmmmmm, CONFERENCE!" The two tallest formed a huddle and whispered to one another.
"Get ready to die Dib, the citizens of Irk are not as stupid as you disgusting humans." As Zim said this, Dib began to shake as he thought that Zim may be right.
"We have made a decision and that decision is..."
"THE GARBAGE CAN MADE ME DO IT! TAKE HIM! TAKE HIIIM! I WANNA LIVE!" Dib held up his trashcan comrade as an offering for his own life.
"....Despite that outburst, we have made the decision that Zim......is WRONG!"
"WHAAAATTTT?" Zim said as a smile grew across Dib's face. "But look at him, its a horrible costume! HE DOESN'T EVEN LOOK LIKE US!"
"That's where you are wrong Zim, to the untrained eye and lesser minded as yourself that may be the case. However, because of our unsurpassed intellect, we have noticed the one thing that would make him Irken and not an Earthling."
"AND THAT WOULD BEEEEE?" Zim asked as veins began to throb out of his head.
"As you can see, his shirt clearly states otherwise." The purple tallest said as he pointed to sloppy black letters written on Dib's costume.
"OH FOR IRK'S SAKE!"
"Quiet Zim as we welcome this new Invader, welcome to Irk Invader...." The red tallest examined Dib's shirt for a second then looked back up. "Invader Imnotanearthling."
"Thank you and I'm sure I will be a great invator." Dib said as he shook the two tallest's hands.
"Invader you mean?" The purple tallest asked.
"That's the one."
Zim shook his head as the two tallest welcomed Dib into their race, stupidly thinking he was an Irken. "Tallest! Please! Listen to reason!"
"Silence Zim! Or are you denying the shirt now? You do know what happens to Irkens who deny the shirt don't you." As the red tallest said this, Zim remembered seeing a public stoning of those Irkens foolish enough to 'deny the shirt'.
"Yes ma'am."
"Sir..."
"What?"
"I'm not a ma'am."
".....YOU'RE MEN?" Zim said as the realization hit him like a brick.
"For Irk's sake Zim, you thought we were women?"
"Ummmmmm No?" Covering his tracks, Zim watched as Dib walked away out of sight.
"Good. Now report to Invader Academy in 32 problians and take your report classes there."
"You mean hours?"
"What'd I say? Problians? Jeez I'm drunker than I thought."
Zim sighed as he walked away from his two leaders. "One question before I go tallest. How was it that you were able to teleport me here even though I wasn't standing where you told me to? And why were you able to teleport almost four different things at once? Also, why must I go to school to simply give my report? Can't I just do it now?"
"Those are all very good questions Zim and I can answer it for you in one word: ghgoijsaj."
"What?" Zim asked. "What does that mean?"
"Never mind Zim, now go back to your place of living and prepare for your report." Zim threw his hands up into the air and stomped away.
".....I don't come off as womanly do I?"
"Nooo..." said the red tallest to his comrade. "You come off as Womynly."
"Oh Red, you are the living end!"
"Aren't I though? Aren't I?"
"Aren't I Dir, Aren't I?" Dib said as he looked at a large open space between two large Irken buildings. "Aren't I just the smartest?"
".........."
"I can tell from your silence that you concur." Dib said a smile across his face as the garbage can sighed to itself. "Once I swallow this capsule, we'll have a house we can live in during our stay on this horrible planet."
"Are you sure it works that way?" The garbage can replied.
"Two things Dir: First off, you don't talk. Second, I don't like that sassy tone from anyone, even you. So just be quiet and let me do my thing."
"Here comes trouble." The trashcan muttered to itself as Dib swallowed the pill.
"You see, now all we have to do is sit here and we'll have a house.... right after my next bowel movement."
"BOWELMOVEMENT!" Gir said for absolutely no reason as he trailed behind Zim.
"Quiet Gir, we have no time for anything other than the mission at hand at this point."
"The apprehension of the renegade known as Dib?" Gir asked as his eyes glowed red.
"I wish. No Gir, we have to face..... my mother." Zim shook in fear as the robot's eyes turned back to blue.
"But Mothers give you milk from their..."
"GIR THE RATING OF THIS STORY IS PG! DO NOT FORGET THAT!"
"I was just saying mothers give you milk from the frigarator and that makes them special. Jeez."
"Oh.... very well then." Zim looked up to see his house and slowly walked through the door. Looking from side to side, he finally saw his mother in the kitchen. In the kitchen stood a quite tall green Irken with long antennae and the same clothes as Zim wore, except with a skirt instead of pants.
"ZIM! YOU'RE HOME!"
"Yes mother I'm home. Mother?"
"Yes Zim?"
"Why are you behind this cardboard cut out?" Zim brought down the cardboard cut out of the tall green woman revealing a long metallic arm.
"I thought it spruced things up a bit." Said Zim's metallic birthing arm mother.
"Sure mother. I'm back here to report my findings on earth and I was wondering if I could stay here as I waited."
"Of course you can son, what kind of birthing arm would I be if I didn't. You're room is right over there waiting for you." The birthing arm pointed to a very small capsule with green liquid floating around inside of it. Zim sighed as he climbed his way into the capsule and closed his eyes, tired from the day's excursions.
"You think this is over don't you Dib? Well this is only the beginning! You'll fall before my mighty....might. MUUHHAAHAHAHA! Hey what smells like pants?"
"Irk!" The writer said as he callously tried to put the name of the title into the story, completely disregarding all aspects of character/author interaction.
End Chapter 4
STUPENDOUS! What will Zim's school be like? Has Dib created the house yet or does he need to eat something with fiber to make the process go faster? Does the tallest look womanly or womynly with a "y" according to women's lib *Blame my girlfriend for that one, she thought it was funny.* FIND OUT AS WE SEE.....WHO....IS....THE....FATHER! Or Chapter 5: Invader "Skool" Peace.
GET READY FOR THE FEEL GOOD FILM OF THE SUMMER!
"I'm gonna get you Zim."
The camera does a close shot on Dib's face.
WATCH THE BETRAYAL
"HOW COULD YOU TAKE THE PANTS?"
"I did it for you can't you understand that? NOBODY LOVES ME!"
WATCH THE SUPRISES
"And the father is....."
Zim, Dib and Gir look around nervously as they stand next to Gaz who's pregnant and laying in a hospital bed.
WATCH THE DOWNRIGHT HORROR OF LIFE
"....Invader Zim is owned by Jhonen Vasquez and the author is not doing anything Toooo bad with the character so..... ASTEROID! AAAAAA!"
Asteroid smashes into earth.
WATCH THE COMEDY
"My baby is dead and I couldn't do anything to save her."
"I'm so sorry I tried everything I could to save him.... Did I say him? I meant her! HAHAHAHA! What a mistake on my part eh? HAHAHAHAHA But anyway sorry about the malpractice and everything."
THIS SUMMER, PULL.....UP.....YOUR....KHAKIS!
Ok time out, honestly enjoy Invader Dib. Here ya go. Watch the comedy, jeez what was I thinking?
Chapter 4: Irk smells like.....Pants!
Dib and Zim slammed into the barren ground of the world known as Irk. The young boy who was laying on top of an unconscious Zim, noticed that both Dir and Gir were attached to his leg. He quickly released their grip and began to look at the surrounding area.
"Good God." Dib exclaimed as he looked at the large red buildings and numerous amounts of cold technological environments. "It's like being trapped inside Andy Dick's head. Better put on my disguise before anyone is able to notice I'm different."
Putting on the horrible Invader disguise, Dib picked up his trashcan slave and wheeled it past Zim's body.
"Where....do...you.....think...you're going?" Zim said as he grabbed onto Dib's leg with a kung fu grip worthy of a Gi-Joe action figure.
"A kung fu grip? But I'm the one who's supposed to know kuuunggg fuuu." Dib cried in a whiny voice with a pouty look on his face.
"You would dare to do this to me? ON MY OWN WORLD! INEXCUSABLE! INEXCUSABLE!" Zim let go of Dib's foot, sprang to his feet and pulled out a huge cannon shaped weapon. "I don't know why I didn't bother to do this to you before."
"Because if you had the plot of the show would be fairly dull."
"Show?"
"Don't worry about it."
"Anyway, NOW YOU DIE BY AN IRKEN'S HANDS!"
"Wait Zim! Put down the gun! I mean you don't want to blast me right? You want to fall in love with me or my sister!" Dib yelled out as an astonished Zim lowered his gun.
"WHAT? Why would I want to fall in love with a human filthbeast?"
"Because that's what they want you to do!" Dib said as he pointed in Zim's opposite direction.
"They?" Zim quickly spun around. "I don't see any....." As he turned back, he looked at an empty space where Dib used to be. "DIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIBBBBBBBBBBBBBBB!"
"Lozenge?" Gir asked as he held out a fresh pack of mints.
"..... Come on Gir, tonight, we're eating Soylent green!"
"AAAAAA! SOYLENT GREEN IS PEOPLE! ITS PEOPLE!" Gir cried out as he began to run around frantically in circles.
"Exactly." Zim said as he began to lick the place where his....lips....would...be.... I guess. "Wait, we don't eat people, nevermind Gir, lets just find Dib."
"All righty."
"All righty Dir," Dib said as he ran as fast as he could with Dir in his arms. "We've made it and you know what that means don't you?"
"........"
"That's right Dir, chicken is better than toothpaste but we have to..." Before Dir could finish his sentence, he slammed into something rather large and flew backwards a couple feet. As he slowly started to regain his brain cells, he looked up to see two figures standing over him.
"And what do we have here?" Asked the purple tallest as he leaned over the disguised Dib.
"I don't know my friend, what do we have here?" The red tallest followed suit.
"I'LL TELL YOU!" Zim said as he ran over to the three of them.
"Oh no, he'll blow my cover."
"You know who this is Zim?" the purple asked.
"YES! He's a human who followed me here!"
"Hmmmmmm, CONFERENCE!" The two tallest formed a huddle and whispered to one another.
"Get ready to die Dib, the citizens of Irk are not as stupid as you disgusting humans." As Zim said this, Dib began to shake as he thought that Zim may be right.
"We have made a decision and that decision is..."
"THE GARBAGE CAN MADE ME DO IT! TAKE HIM! TAKE HIIIM! I WANNA LIVE!" Dib held up his trashcan comrade as an offering for his own life.
"....Despite that outburst, we have made the decision that Zim......is WRONG!"
"WHAAAATTTT?" Zim said as a smile grew across Dib's face. "But look at him, its a horrible costume! HE DOESN'T EVEN LOOK LIKE US!"
"That's where you are wrong Zim, to the untrained eye and lesser minded as yourself that may be the case. However, because of our unsurpassed intellect, we have noticed the one thing that would make him Irken and not an Earthling."
"AND THAT WOULD BEEEEE?" Zim asked as veins began to throb out of his head.
"As you can see, his shirt clearly states otherwise." The purple tallest said as he pointed to sloppy black letters written on Dib's costume.
"OH FOR IRK'S SAKE!"
"Quiet Zim as we welcome this new Invader, welcome to Irk Invader...." The red tallest examined Dib's shirt for a second then looked back up. "Invader Imnotanearthling."
"Thank you and I'm sure I will be a great invator." Dib said as he shook the two tallest's hands.
"Invader you mean?" The purple tallest asked.
"That's the one."
Zim shook his head as the two tallest welcomed Dib into their race, stupidly thinking he was an Irken. "Tallest! Please! Listen to reason!"
"Silence Zim! Or are you denying the shirt now? You do know what happens to Irkens who deny the shirt don't you." As the red tallest said this, Zim remembered seeing a public stoning of those Irkens foolish enough to 'deny the shirt'.
"Yes ma'am."
"Sir..."
"What?"
"I'm not a ma'am."
".....YOU'RE MEN?" Zim said as the realization hit him like a brick.
"For Irk's sake Zim, you thought we were women?"
"Ummmmmm No?" Covering his tracks, Zim watched as Dib walked away out of sight.
"Good. Now report to Invader Academy in 32 problians and take your report classes there."
"You mean hours?"
"What'd I say? Problians? Jeez I'm drunker than I thought."
Zim sighed as he walked away from his two leaders. "One question before I go tallest. How was it that you were able to teleport me here even though I wasn't standing where you told me to? And why were you able to teleport almost four different things at once? Also, why must I go to school to simply give my report? Can't I just do it now?"
"Those are all very good questions Zim and I can answer it for you in one word: ghgoijsaj."
"What?" Zim asked. "What does that mean?"
"Never mind Zim, now go back to your place of living and prepare for your report." Zim threw his hands up into the air and stomped away.
".....I don't come off as womanly do I?"
"Nooo..." said the red tallest to his comrade. "You come off as Womynly."
"Oh Red, you are the living end!"
"Aren't I though? Aren't I?"
"Aren't I Dir, Aren't I?" Dib said as he looked at a large open space between two large Irken buildings. "Aren't I just the smartest?"
".........."
"I can tell from your silence that you concur." Dib said a smile across his face as the garbage can sighed to itself. "Once I swallow this capsule, we'll have a house we can live in during our stay on this horrible planet."
"Are you sure it works that way?" The garbage can replied.
"Two things Dir: First off, you don't talk. Second, I don't like that sassy tone from anyone, even you. So just be quiet and let me do my thing."
"Here comes trouble." The trashcan muttered to itself as Dib swallowed the pill.
"You see, now all we have to do is sit here and we'll have a house.... right after my next bowel movement."
"BOWELMOVEMENT!" Gir said for absolutely no reason as he trailed behind Zim.
"Quiet Gir, we have no time for anything other than the mission at hand at this point."
"The apprehension of the renegade known as Dib?" Gir asked as his eyes glowed red.
"I wish. No Gir, we have to face..... my mother." Zim shook in fear as the robot's eyes turned back to blue.
"But Mothers give you milk from their..."
"GIR THE RATING OF THIS STORY IS PG! DO NOT FORGET THAT!"
"I was just saying mothers give you milk from the frigarator and that makes them special. Jeez."
"Oh.... very well then." Zim looked up to see his house and slowly walked through the door. Looking from side to side, he finally saw his mother in the kitchen. In the kitchen stood a quite tall green Irken with long antennae and the same clothes as Zim wore, except with a skirt instead of pants.
"ZIM! YOU'RE HOME!"
"Yes mother I'm home. Mother?"
"Yes Zim?"
"Why are you behind this cardboard cut out?" Zim brought down the cardboard cut out of the tall green woman revealing a long metallic arm.
"I thought it spruced things up a bit." Said Zim's metallic birthing arm mother.
"Sure mother. I'm back here to report my findings on earth and I was wondering if I could stay here as I waited."
"Of course you can son, what kind of birthing arm would I be if I didn't. You're room is right over there waiting for you." The birthing arm pointed to a very small capsule with green liquid floating around inside of it. Zim sighed as he climbed his way into the capsule and closed his eyes, tired from the day's excursions.
"You think this is over don't you Dib? Well this is only the beginning! You'll fall before my mighty....might. MUUHHAAHAHAHA! Hey what smells like pants?"
"Irk!" The writer said as he callously tried to put the name of the title into the story, completely disregarding all aspects of character/author interaction.
End Chapter 4
STUPENDOUS! What will Zim's school be like? Has Dib created the house yet or does he need to eat something with fiber to make the process go faster? Does the tallest look womanly or womynly with a "y" according to women's lib *Blame my girlfriend for that one, she thought it was funny.* FIND OUT AS WE SEE.....WHO....IS....THE....FATHER! Or Chapter 5: Invader "Skool" Peace.