Yes, this is about the longest time in between chapters, but I have a really good reason. Ummmmmmm *picks up a plant*
IT WAS THE PLANT'S FAULT! BLAME IT! LOVE ME!
Mysterious stranger: Oh come on!
Who the..... YOU!
Jhonen: That's right, ME! Throughout this whole ordeal which you call a story, I've been beaten, had a beaver thrown down my pants, and been avoided due to a lawsuit.
I thought that was funny.
Jhonen: YOU WOULD!
All right, nobody makes fun of the fic in my house. ITS GO TIME! *armored mech suit rips apart author's clothes*
Jhonen: Very impressive, but try on THIS! HAPPY NOODLE BOY ARMOR! *armor wraps around him*
You're no match for all my weapons Vasquez. EAT.... NUCLEAR......THINGS! *fires nuclear.....things at Vasquez*
Jhonen: WHOA! *dodges out of the way. Nuclear.....things hit an orphanage* HOLY CRAP!
Here comes trouble.
Jhonen: *retreats in fear of reprisal from authorities*
Think I'll do the same. Enjoy and don't call the police.
Chapter 10: Irken Partay's the thing
Dib didn't know exactly how long he had been gone. There had been a number of different events he had to have gone through while on his time on Irk, trying to invade it before it invaded Earth, but he knew his time was almost up. He had luckily passed the exam so was now in no danger of being put into any happy boxes or eaten by any clowns. Dib felt a sort of feeling, a little quiet before the storm, so he would think. Something big was going to happen soon, he just couldn't put his finger on it.
"YO IMA!" Yelled out Invader Random whose sole purpose in the story is to be ....well.....random.
"What is it....Random, right?"
"That's me. Listen we're going to have a crash party tonight to kick off the end of school and mourn those who *begins to cry* didn't pass the exam."
"Sounds great, but what's a crash party?"
"Oh it's when we pick some loser kid, show up and just start a party at his house."
"I see, so who's the unfortunate kid?"
"Oh, it's that loser....whats his name.... oh yeah Invader..."
"ZIM!" Zim's mother cried out, working feverishly in the kitchen. "I see that you don't have any clown bite marks, you must have passed your exam."
"Indeed I did mother, I passed it with flying colors."
"I wanna fly." Cried out Gir as he climbed up onto the counter.
"Quiet Gir. Can't you see that I'm trying to have a conversation here?"
"Well I'm trying to have a french fry here." Gir then ripped off another of Zim's mother's extremeties and began to chew on it.
"AAAHHH! Not again!!" Oil began to spray out of the hole where the finger was taken. "Zim, grab mommy a bandage."
"Don't talk to me as if I were a child mother, I'm.... however many years makes me not a child old."
"How old are you Zim?" The mother asked stopping dead in her tracks.
"I think I'm....ummmmm....I...."
"He's 345 years old." Gir said with a smile.
"I'M NOT THAT OLD!......am I?" Gir shrugged.
"Honey, you don't look a day over 600 years old." Zim's mother said, patting him on the head.
"YOU'RE NOT HELPING HERE MOTHER!"
"NOTHING'S EVER GOOD ENOUGH FOR YOU ZIM!" Zim's mother began to cry and quickly ran out of the room despite the fact that she....had....no legs? Wait a minute.
"You all ready?" The invader in the lead of the roaming band of invaders asked, Dib following behind.
"YEAH!" They all responded at once, save Dib.
"I guess this is a good thing. I mean after all, Irken parties can't be worse than everything else I've seen on stinksville planet. Besides, it'll give me another opprotunity to mess with Zim. Hehehe. Right Dir?" Dib looked down at his trusty sidekick and no reply was given as usual.
"Dude, aren't you ever gonna stop lugging that thing around. Jeez I like robots more than the next guy, but you don't see me carrying it everywhere." Random said, still doing what he does best, being random.
"Hmmmmm, you don't. OK!" Dib then threw his companion through a nearby window, striking down the Irken who held residence. "Oh crap, let's move faster people!"
"There it is!" Said the leader of the gang, pointing to Zim's house. "Now you all know the plan we go in, get drunk and blame it on the kid who's house it is! We understand each other?" Everyone nodded.
"This is gonna be awesome!" Said Invader Random as he rubbed his hands together.
"1....2....3!" All the invaders busted down the door and began to look around with smiles on their faces. "WHO'S READY TO.....OH MY GOD!"
"What?" Zim asked as he got up from ontop of Gir, the two of them seemingly having a little too much fun.
"OH....MY....*BARF*" At that moment, half of the intruding invaders lost their lunch and began to fall like cans at a shooting gallery *for lack of a better analogy*
"WE WERE PLAYING TWISTER, YOU SICK FREAKS!" Zim cried out.
"I wasn't." Gir said with a wink.
"AAA!" Zim quickly lunged back and pushed Gir away with all his might, causing the small robot to fly through the window.
"Ok, that was the most disgusting thing I've ever seen but on a side note, LET'S PARTAY!!!!" The leader of the pack cried as he brought a giant keg out of nowhere. Every other Irken followed suit, bringing out their own kegs out of what seemed to be mid air.
"Wait a minute." Zim said in a concerned voice. "I don't want a party here."
"Sure you do Zimbo! Just relax and enjoy the ride." One of the invaders said, giving Zim a slap on the back that caused him to keel over.
"What's the matter Zimmy?" Dib said, kneeling down to Zim's level. "Don't like parties? Or would you rather have your company be little robots?"
"OH shut up stinkbeast!" Zim said as he got to his feet. "I'm sure you orchestrated this little get together."
"No actually, it was the others. They said this was a crash party and they picked the loser of the school to host it." Dib said with a smile.
"They think...I'm the loser?" Zim said sadly. He looked down, with an expression that almost looked like he wanted to die.
"Zim?" Dib had seen a lot of expressions from Zim in the time they had known each other, but never before had he seen him sad, it was something entirely new to him and maybe to Zim himself. "Look, Zim...you can't rely on what the others..."
"SAVE YOUR PITY! If they're too stupid to see who you really are, then let them get what's coming to them." Zim pushed Dib out of the way and ran past a table which had many Irkens circled around it.
"Dude you ready?" One of the Irkens asked the figure sitting in the middle.
"Fo SHO!" Gir cried out as he stacked six kegs ontop of one another and began to down all of them at once.
"CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG!" All the Irkens cried out at once, banging their hands agains the table as Dib walked by.
"Unbelievable." Dib thought to himself. "Zim sad...Heh... I never thought that possible. He seemed so..I don't know.... almost invincible on earth. But that one crack seemed to hurt him."
"HI IMA!" Devi cried as she popped out of the crowd of Irkens and approached him. "Enjoying the party?"
"I guess, whats up with this music?" Dib asked as he listened to the sounds which sounded like cats being beaten to death against a dumpster.
"Its the latest thing. What, you know something better?"
"DO I?" Dib said with a smile on his face. He walked over to the machine, stopped the music, picked up a microphone and got on the kitchen counter. "WHO'S READY FOR SOME REAL MUSIC!"
"YEAH IMA!" The Invaders all shouted at once, Dib smiling now as he held the mic.
"OK! YO YO YO RANDOM POP ME A BEAT!" Invader Random threw down a garbage can and began to rap against the side of it, thereby 'popping a beat'.
"I DEDICATE THIS SONG TO MY HOMIES WHO DIDN'T MAKE IT OUT THE EXAM! WE MISS YOU DAWGS!" Dib then poured a large keg on the 'curb' of the house. "I LEARNED THIS NUMBER ON THE PLANET I WAS INVADING! HERE WE GO....."
Dib turned around as the lights went out and a sole light was stationed on him. He quickly spun around and began to sing....
"YO I LIKE BIG BUTTS AND I CANNOT LIE! YOU OTHER BROTHERS CAN'T DENY! THAT WHEN A GIRL WALKS IN WITH A ITTY BITTY WAIST AND A ROUND THING IN YOUR FACE, YOU GET SPRUNG!"
All of the Irkens began to "get down" as Dib went on with the horrible imitation of a Sir Mixalot classic. When he finally finished, all of the Irkens began to clap and hoot histerically for Dib.
"IMA! THAT WAS AWESOME!" Devi said as she ran up to him. "Can I have your babies?"
"Maybe later." Dib said nervously as he pushed Ima away. "Right now, I gotta talk to someone."
As Dib walked up the stairs, he could hear a low sobbing that appeared to be coming from the roof. Dib investigated only to find Zim with his head in his hands.
"Zim?"
"WHA?" Zim quickly wiped off his face, trying to remove any signature that he was crying. "What now stinkbeast, here to rub in more how defeated I am?"
"No, I just wanted to come up here and talk."
"About what? Killing me? Invading my planet? Making me the laughing stock of the skool?"
"No. Jeez Zim, come on. Do you always have to be such an anal retentive bastard?" Dib said as he sat next to Zim.
"What does that mean?"
"Sorry, earth expression. Anyway, come on down and have some fun at the party. It'll take your mind off things."
"To hell with the party AND TO HELL WITH YOU!" Zim quickly sprung to his feet. "YOU THINK BECAUSE YOU'RE TRYING TO SYMPATHIZE WITH ME WILL CHANGE THINGS! HOW COULD YOU KNOW HOW I FEEL? OUTCAST FROM MY OWN PEOPLE!"
Dib smiled. "You weren't paying attention on earth were you Zim? I was an outcast and frankly, I didn't want to be but thats beside the point. I mean, it doesn't matter if you're an outcast or the most popular kid in skool or even a robot for that matter. Being yourself is what matters."
"Did you get that off the television or something?" Zim asked.
".....AGAIN! That's beside the point. So come on man, just forget your troubles and come down to the party."
"Very well stinkbeast, you have won me over this night." The two shook hands, with Zim then tightening his grip and leaning his head closer to Dib. "This changes nothing between us stinkbeast, one of us will die eventually and I'm planning on it being you."
"...... You're not getting my bud light Zim."
"What?"
"*Sigh* Forget it, anyway come on, I got something perfect for you to do."
"WHATS UP ummmmmm EVERYONE?" Zim cried out as he was now standing on the counter where Dib had stood for his performance. Zim looked nervously at Dib as the earthling urged him on. "I LEARNED THIS....RHYME?.... DOWN IN DA HOOD? POP A BEAT MAESTRO!"
"You got it!" Random then popped a beat for Zim as he held the microphone for dear life and took out a small piece of paper which had on it his "rhyme".
"1.....2....3! VANILLA ICE ICE BABY!" Zim then went on to sing the rest of the song and the crowd loved it.
The rest of the night was a night when everyone would have fun, and yet Dib could feel something inside him, something that was telling him: Things were about to get a whole lot worse.
End Chapter 10
OOOOOO SUSPENSFUL! Yeah I know, i took the sappy route, but it was worth it eh? Anyway..... What is going to happen next? Are Zim and Dib now drinking buddies? Will Random continue being random? Will Devi ever just GO AWAY? Find out this and more in....
Chapter 11: Bad S**t's abrewing.
You'd better get ready....or don't see if I care. BUT WHEN YOU HAVE YOUR HAND SHOVED IN A PILE OF GOO, YOU REALIZE THAT'S YOUR BEST FRIENDS FACE! NO WAY MAN! THAT'S CHINATOWN! *lawsuit*
IT WAS THE PLANT'S FAULT! BLAME IT! LOVE ME!
Mysterious stranger: Oh come on!
Who the..... YOU!
Jhonen: That's right, ME! Throughout this whole ordeal which you call a story, I've been beaten, had a beaver thrown down my pants, and been avoided due to a lawsuit.
I thought that was funny.
Jhonen: YOU WOULD!
All right, nobody makes fun of the fic in my house. ITS GO TIME! *armored mech suit rips apart author's clothes*
Jhonen: Very impressive, but try on THIS! HAPPY NOODLE BOY ARMOR! *armor wraps around him*
You're no match for all my weapons Vasquez. EAT.... NUCLEAR......THINGS! *fires nuclear.....things at Vasquez*
Jhonen: WHOA! *dodges out of the way. Nuclear.....things hit an orphanage* HOLY CRAP!
Here comes trouble.
Jhonen: *retreats in fear of reprisal from authorities*
Think I'll do the same. Enjoy and don't call the police.
Chapter 10: Irken Partay's the thing
Dib didn't know exactly how long he had been gone. There had been a number of different events he had to have gone through while on his time on Irk, trying to invade it before it invaded Earth, but he knew his time was almost up. He had luckily passed the exam so was now in no danger of being put into any happy boxes or eaten by any clowns. Dib felt a sort of feeling, a little quiet before the storm, so he would think. Something big was going to happen soon, he just couldn't put his finger on it.
"YO IMA!" Yelled out Invader Random whose sole purpose in the story is to be ....well.....random.
"What is it....Random, right?"
"That's me. Listen we're going to have a crash party tonight to kick off the end of school and mourn those who *begins to cry* didn't pass the exam."
"Sounds great, but what's a crash party?"
"Oh it's when we pick some loser kid, show up and just start a party at his house."
"I see, so who's the unfortunate kid?"
"Oh, it's that loser....whats his name.... oh yeah Invader..."
"ZIM!" Zim's mother cried out, working feverishly in the kitchen. "I see that you don't have any clown bite marks, you must have passed your exam."
"Indeed I did mother, I passed it with flying colors."
"I wanna fly." Cried out Gir as he climbed up onto the counter.
"Quiet Gir. Can't you see that I'm trying to have a conversation here?"
"Well I'm trying to have a french fry here." Gir then ripped off another of Zim's mother's extremeties and began to chew on it.
"AAAHHH! Not again!!" Oil began to spray out of the hole where the finger was taken. "Zim, grab mommy a bandage."
"Don't talk to me as if I were a child mother, I'm.... however many years makes me not a child old."
"How old are you Zim?" The mother asked stopping dead in her tracks.
"I think I'm....ummmmm....I...."
"He's 345 years old." Gir said with a smile.
"I'M NOT THAT OLD!......am I?" Gir shrugged.
"Honey, you don't look a day over 600 years old." Zim's mother said, patting him on the head.
"YOU'RE NOT HELPING HERE MOTHER!"
"NOTHING'S EVER GOOD ENOUGH FOR YOU ZIM!" Zim's mother began to cry and quickly ran out of the room despite the fact that she....had....no legs? Wait a minute.
"You all ready?" The invader in the lead of the roaming band of invaders asked, Dib following behind.
"YEAH!" They all responded at once, save Dib.
"I guess this is a good thing. I mean after all, Irken parties can't be worse than everything else I've seen on stinksville planet. Besides, it'll give me another opprotunity to mess with Zim. Hehehe. Right Dir?" Dib looked down at his trusty sidekick and no reply was given as usual.
"Dude, aren't you ever gonna stop lugging that thing around. Jeez I like robots more than the next guy, but you don't see me carrying it everywhere." Random said, still doing what he does best, being random.
"Hmmmmm, you don't. OK!" Dib then threw his companion through a nearby window, striking down the Irken who held residence. "Oh crap, let's move faster people!"
"There it is!" Said the leader of the gang, pointing to Zim's house. "Now you all know the plan we go in, get drunk and blame it on the kid who's house it is! We understand each other?" Everyone nodded.
"This is gonna be awesome!" Said Invader Random as he rubbed his hands together.
"1....2....3!" All the invaders busted down the door and began to look around with smiles on their faces. "WHO'S READY TO.....OH MY GOD!"
"What?" Zim asked as he got up from ontop of Gir, the two of them seemingly having a little too much fun.
"OH....MY....*BARF*" At that moment, half of the intruding invaders lost their lunch and began to fall like cans at a shooting gallery *for lack of a better analogy*
"WE WERE PLAYING TWISTER, YOU SICK FREAKS!" Zim cried out.
"I wasn't." Gir said with a wink.
"AAA!" Zim quickly lunged back and pushed Gir away with all his might, causing the small robot to fly through the window.
"Ok, that was the most disgusting thing I've ever seen but on a side note, LET'S PARTAY!!!!" The leader of the pack cried as he brought a giant keg out of nowhere. Every other Irken followed suit, bringing out their own kegs out of what seemed to be mid air.
"Wait a minute." Zim said in a concerned voice. "I don't want a party here."
"Sure you do Zimbo! Just relax and enjoy the ride." One of the invaders said, giving Zim a slap on the back that caused him to keel over.
"What's the matter Zimmy?" Dib said, kneeling down to Zim's level. "Don't like parties? Or would you rather have your company be little robots?"
"OH shut up stinkbeast!" Zim said as he got to his feet. "I'm sure you orchestrated this little get together."
"No actually, it was the others. They said this was a crash party and they picked the loser of the school to host it." Dib said with a smile.
"They think...I'm the loser?" Zim said sadly. He looked down, with an expression that almost looked like he wanted to die.
"Zim?" Dib had seen a lot of expressions from Zim in the time they had known each other, but never before had he seen him sad, it was something entirely new to him and maybe to Zim himself. "Look, Zim...you can't rely on what the others..."
"SAVE YOUR PITY! If they're too stupid to see who you really are, then let them get what's coming to them." Zim pushed Dib out of the way and ran past a table which had many Irkens circled around it.
"Dude you ready?" One of the Irkens asked the figure sitting in the middle.
"Fo SHO!" Gir cried out as he stacked six kegs ontop of one another and began to down all of them at once.
"CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG!" All the Irkens cried out at once, banging their hands agains the table as Dib walked by.
"Unbelievable." Dib thought to himself. "Zim sad...Heh... I never thought that possible. He seemed so..I don't know.... almost invincible on earth. But that one crack seemed to hurt him."
"HI IMA!" Devi cried as she popped out of the crowd of Irkens and approached him. "Enjoying the party?"
"I guess, whats up with this music?" Dib asked as he listened to the sounds which sounded like cats being beaten to death against a dumpster.
"Its the latest thing. What, you know something better?"
"DO I?" Dib said with a smile on his face. He walked over to the machine, stopped the music, picked up a microphone and got on the kitchen counter. "WHO'S READY FOR SOME REAL MUSIC!"
"YEAH IMA!" The Invaders all shouted at once, Dib smiling now as he held the mic.
"OK! YO YO YO RANDOM POP ME A BEAT!" Invader Random threw down a garbage can and began to rap against the side of it, thereby 'popping a beat'.
"I DEDICATE THIS SONG TO MY HOMIES WHO DIDN'T MAKE IT OUT THE EXAM! WE MISS YOU DAWGS!" Dib then poured a large keg on the 'curb' of the house. "I LEARNED THIS NUMBER ON THE PLANET I WAS INVADING! HERE WE GO....."
Dib turned around as the lights went out and a sole light was stationed on him. He quickly spun around and began to sing....
"YO I LIKE BIG BUTTS AND I CANNOT LIE! YOU OTHER BROTHERS CAN'T DENY! THAT WHEN A GIRL WALKS IN WITH A ITTY BITTY WAIST AND A ROUND THING IN YOUR FACE, YOU GET SPRUNG!"
All of the Irkens began to "get down" as Dib went on with the horrible imitation of a Sir Mixalot classic. When he finally finished, all of the Irkens began to clap and hoot histerically for Dib.
"IMA! THAT WAS AWESOME!" Devi said as she ran up to him. "Can I have your babies?"
"Maybe later." Dib said nervously as he pushed Ima away. "Right now, I gotta talk to someone."
As Dib walked up the stairs, he could hear a low sobbing that appeared to be coming from the roof. Dib investigated only to find Zim with his head in his hands.
"Zim?"
"WHA?" Zim quickly wiped off his face, trying to remove any signature that he was crying. "What now stinkbeast, here to rub in more how defeated I am?"
"No, I just wanted to come up here and talk."
"About what? Killing me? Invading my planet? Making me the laughing stock of the skool?"
"No. Jeez Zim, come on. Do you always have to be such an anal retentive bastard?" Dib said as he sat next to Zim.
"What does that mean?"
"Sorry, earth expression. Anyway, come on down and have some fun at the party. It'll take your mind off things."
"To hell with the party AND TO HELL WITH YOU!" Zim quickly sprung to his feet. "YOU THINK BECAUSE YOU'RE TRYING TO SYMPATHIZE WITH ME WILL CHANGE THINGS! HOW COULD YOU KNOW HOW I FEEL? OUTCAST FROM MY OWN PEOPLE!"
Dib smiled. "You weren't paying attention on earth were you Zim? I was an outcast and frankly, I didn't want to be but thats beside the point. I mean, it doesn't matter if you're an outcast or the most popular kid in skool or even a robot for that matter. Being yourself is what matters."
"Did you get that off the television or something?" Zim asked.
".....AGAIN! That's beside the point. So come on man, just forget your troubles and come down to the party."
"Very well stinkbeast, you have won me over this night." The two shook hands, with Zim then tightening his grip and leaning his head closer to Dib. "This changes nothing between us stinkbeast, one of us will die eventually and I'm planning on it being you."
"...... You're not getting my bud light Zim."
"What?"
"*Sigh* Forget it, anyway come on, I got something perfect for you to do."
"WHATS UP ummmmmm EVERYONE?" Zim cried out as he was now standing on the counter where Dib had stood for his performance. Zim looked nervously at Dib as the earthling urged him on. "I LEARNED THIS....RHYME?.... DOWN IN DA HOOD? POP A BEAT MAESTRO!"
"You got it!" Random then popped a beat for Zim as he held the microphone for dear life and took out a small piece of paper which had on it his "rhyme".
"1.....2....3! VANILLA ICE ICE BABY!" Zim then went on to sing the rest of the song and the crowd loved it.
The rest of the night was a night when everyone would have fun, and yet Dib could feel something inside him, something that was telling him: Things were about to get a whole lot worse.
End Chapter 10
OOOOOO SUSPENSFUL! Yeah I know, i took the sappy route, but it was worth it eh? Anyway..... What is going to happen next? Are Zim and Dib now drinking buddies? Will Random continue being random? Will Devi ever just GO AWAY? Find out this and more in....
Chapter 11: Bad S**t's abrewing.
You'd better get ready....or don't see if I care. BUT WHEN YOU HAVE YOUR HAND SHOVED IN A PILE OF GOO, YOU REALIZE THAT'S YOUR BEST FRIENDS FACE! NO WAY MAN! THAT'S CHINATOWN! *lawsuit*