All right, because one person asked for it and I want to be fair, the person who will introduce the chapter this time around will be none other than....... GAZ!
Gaz: Hello everyone. *turns off her gameslave*
Glad you could do this intro for me Gaz.
Gaz: Well I'm not! I can't believe that in this story I was pushed aside like a rancid bag of fruit. I deserve better! I'm an important piece to the puzzle that is Invader Zim and should be treated with more respect than the average slovenly bum. I mean, what is the deal with blah blah blah blah blah blah blah *continues ranting*
*Author slowly walks back, smile on his face and nodding. Starts thinking to himself.* Ok, everything is going as planned. Just keep talking your crazy rants game girl. Pay no attention to the author slowly inching toward the instrument of your destruction. All I have to do is get the weapon and bash your head in with it, end of character in my fic who has no place in it. *picks up weapon and raises it over his head.* That's right, staaaayyyy rriiiiggghhhttt theeerrreee....
Gaz: Blah Blah Blah It's in my contract and nowhere does it say that I should be shunned from society in such a worthless role and..... WHAT ARE YOU DOING? *swings around to see author with golf club raised high over his head.*
OH! I was just....uhm...just... *quickly throws golf club out the window*
Gaz: You were gonna bash my brains out with that thing weren't you?
No...NO!...Of course not. I was playing.....Frolf?
Gaz: Frisbee golf? YOU DON'T EVEN USE A GOLF CLUB IN FROLF!
Maybe the way you play it you don't!
Gaz: Well I won't just sit here and have a murder attempt placed on me. I'm leaving. *trips over large tombstone*
Oh Crap!
Gaz: *raises herself up* WHAT IS THIS? *picks up tombstone and reads aloud* HERE LIES GAZ? MAY SHE REST IN PEACE BECAUSE SCRIBE E COULD NO LONGER TAKE HAVING TO FIND A PLACE FOR HER IN HIS STORY?
*laughs nervously* I thought it was kind of....funny?
Gaz: When my lawyers hear about this you're gonna be in worse trouble than O.J. in a White Bronco! You're gonna....
Tiffany Amber Theisin: Am I late for the audition?
Gaz: *turns around suprised* WHAT THE HECK ARE YOU DOING HERE?
T.A.T.: I'm here to audition for the role...*takes out a slip of paper*... of Gaz.
Gaz: OF WHO??? *Turns her head psychotically to the author* YOU WERE GONNA REPLACE ME WITH KELLY FROM SAVED BY THE BELL?
Well, I thought that maybe she would make a better sister to Dib. You know, the kids love her *points to random crowd of screaming clawing kids*
T.A.T.: Hey, I'm not just Kelly. I also did work on Beverly Hills 90210 and From Dusk till Dawn 2.
Gaz and Author at the same time: NO ONE CARES!
T.A.T.: *runs out crying*
NOW LOOK WHAT YOU DID! I'LL HAVE TO SETTLE FOR THAT CHICK FROM ROSEANNE!
Gaz: WHAT I DID? YOU PIECE OF....
Random kid: Jhonen Vasquez and.... well you know the rest. Now back to clawing and screaming! *continues clawing and screaming*
Enjoy!
Chapter 11: Bad Sh**'s Abrewing
"OoooUggghhh." Zim cried out as he awoke with yet another hang over. "Two hang overs in a 24 hour span? How is that possible?"
"That's what we'd like to know." The two tallest asked as they loomed over the fallen Zim.
"Oh! Your tallest! I didn't know you knew where I lived."
"We don't Zim, you're in our office." Zim looked around to see that he really was in their office.
"Oh...I'm sorry! I had no idea!" Zim said embarrisngly.
"Zim..." The purple tallest said in an angry tone. "You do realize that last night you came into our office at 3 in the morning, proclaimed yourself the queen of "Funktown", took off your pants, threw a half eaten piece of what seems to be a microphone at us, accussed your antennae of being slovenly, and then fell asleep crying next to an Irken cleaning machine."
Zim looked over at the cleaning machine and jumped back in horror. "I can only say that I am deeply sorry for any transaction that I may have caused you and beg for your forgiveness."
"No need to fear Zim, we are loving tallest. Therefore, we will let you out of here with a warning and no punishment shall be given to you." The red tallest said, smiling at Zim.
"Thank you your Tallest, now if you would excuse me, I have skool to go to." Zim walked out as the two tallest waved good bye to him.
"So we gonna punish him?" The red tallest asked.
"WITH EXTREME PREJUDICE!" The purple tallest said clenching his fist.
"I love it when you talk all macho."
"You would!" The two then left their office giggling like school girls.
"I'm late for skool, I can't believe this!" Zim said as he sprouted out his mechanical spider legs on his backpack to help him move faster.
"Hey there Zimmy." Dib said as he casually walked next to Zim, seemingly in no hurry.
"STINKBEAST! WHY ARE YOU NOT HURRYING TO CLASS?" Zim shouted as he slowed down to ask Dib.
"Oh, well you see turns out our teacher was at that big party at your place last night. Also turns out he got a little tipsy, got hold of a ceramic mouse statutte yadda yadda yadda we should be seeing him in 6 to 9 years, if he's on good behavior. So you see, the skool will be open at least an hour later in search of a substitute."
"*Phew*!" Zim's mechanical legs sprung back into his backpack and he walked beside Dib. "That's a relief anyway."
"Why are we going to skool anyway, we finished exams already." Dib asked.
"Stupid foul thingie, we still have to make our reports, hence the whole purpose of going to skool on Irk. It should happen in two days or so, then we are finished."
"I see. Anyway, Where did you go last night Zim?" Dib asked. "All I can remember you saying is that you 'pitied da foo's' and then ran out of the house screaming."
"Well, I was maybe a little drunk."
"A little? A LITTLE? YOU POUNDED DOWN 6 KEGS BY YOURSELF!"
"Wow..." Zim said astonishingly.
"I'll say. Although you are now the most popular kid in skool for it. So I guess I should say congratulations."
"I don't need your congratulations. I knew they would come around eventually, after all, who can resist Zim?" Zim smiled as the two finally made it into the class and saw a robot standing where they're teacher usually would.
"Seeing as how you're teacher got into some trouble with the law last night. I will be substituting until he comes back."
Zim slowly walked back to his desk as every Irken boy in the room was giving him the thumbs up and every girl in the room was blowing him kisses and for a few vice versa *ick*.
"So class please open your text books to page...Oh wait. I almost forgot." The robot substitute pulled down the screen and pulled out a remote. "Please pay attention to the front of the class for Invader Zim's punishment."
"My what?" Zim asked as footage began to run across the screen.
"Hey look it's Zim!" One of the Irkens cried.
"What's he doing with that piece of string and that concrete block?"
"Ok...listen cause these part is portant." The Zim on screen said, obviously trashed out of his mind. "I call this trick the Flaming Seaweed."
The class watched on as Zim pulled off horrific feats of horrible..... horrificness.
"OH MY GOD!" One of the students said as the film ended. "I'M BLIND!"
"Well Zim..." Dib said as he leaned over to the astonished Zim. "Looks like your five seconds of popularity is now over."
For the rest of the day, Zim banged his head against the front of his desk.
"So remember you should always *Brriinnnggg*" The bell interrupted the teacher as all the invaders got out of their seats. "Ok Invaders, remember reports in two days. Ima, would you come up here?"
Dib walked up to the robot. "Yeah?"
"I was asked to give this to you." The substitute gave Dib a small envelope and Dib opened it up anxiously. Just as the now shunned by the class Zim walked over to him, Dib began to read.
"What is that?" Zim asked pointing at the paper.
"Holy crap! I'm BEING HONORED!"
"WHAAAATTTT?" Zim cried as he snatched the paper away from Dib and skimmed it quickly. "The tallest are honoring you for destroying the most planets?"
"Awesome isn't it?"
"BUT YOU HAVEN'T DONE ANYTHING!" Zim yelled at the top of his lungs.
"Funny ain't it?" Dib walked away with a smile on his face underneath his mask as Zim had about twenty squeedily spooch attacks.
The day went by as Dib prepared for the honorment by the Tallest by splashing on the same tux he wore for his date with Devi.
"Hmmmm, better make myself more presentable, eh Dir?" Taking out a green can of paint from the closet, he spread on another lather of paint onto his Lil Sprout mask and was off to the Tallests' arena of honorment.
After walking for several minutes, he finally came upon a large stadium like structure which seemed to be packed to the brim with Irkens. He walked in, only to be showered with praise and things that resemble...praise *ok even I'll admit thats bad.*.
"You Ima?" A large Irken said, obviously an Irken bouncer.
"Yeah?"
"Come with me sir."
"Awesome." Dib thought to himself. Never before had he ever thought that the whole experience of Irken life would be this easy and comfortable. He smiled as his very own bouncer escorted him onto the stage to the two Tallest.
"Everyone SHUT UP OR I'LL VAPORIZE THE LOT OF YA!" The red tallest screamed at the crowd as everyone instantly stopped what they were doing. "That's better."
"Tonight we are all here to honor the efforts of one of the greatest Invaders ever to grace Irk with his presence." The Purple said holding a large award. "We give this award to the greatest Irken invader of this year....INVADER IMA! WIGGLE YOUR ANTENNAE FOR THE BOY!"
Everyone began to wiggle their antennae for their favorite invader and Dib was more than happy for it. He looked into the crowd to see Zim, muttering to himself angrily, in opposition to the whole ceremony. Dib could only smile as he took the award from the tallest and placed it at his side.
"Thank you all very much. I will try to make you all proud..." Dib took a large bow and quickly sprung back up. "FOR IRK! YEAAAHHHH!"
However, everyone was now quiet. There were no more cheers or the wiggling of antennae for Dib. As he looked out into the crowd, a confused look came on his face as a look of shock and fear came over all of their faces. All except for Zim, who was sporting a wicked smile. Dib looked to his right to see the tallest with the same looks of fear on their faces and looked to his left to see several Irkens rushing toward him, then......Dib looked down.
"Oh.....no." Was all Dib could get out of his mouth as he saw his mask, broken and shattered on the ground beneath him.
End Chapter 11
Wow, even I'll admit that was suspensful. What will happen to Dib now? How will Zim take advantage? What is the Flaming Seaweed Trick? Is Gir dead, or is he just sleeping... out of the author's view?
These questions and more will be answered in....
Chapter 12: Hi, My name is Dib and I'm Screwed.
Peace!
Gaz: Hello everyone. *turns off her gameslave*
Glad you could do this intro for me Gaz.
Gaz: Well I'm not! I can't believe that in this story I was pushed aside like a rancid bag of fruit. I deserve better! I'm an important piece to the puzzle that is Invader Zim and should be treated with more respect than the average slovenly bum. I mean, what is the deal with blah blah blah blah blah blah blah *continues ranting*
*Author slowly walks back, smile on his face and nodding. Starts thinking to himself.* Ok, everything is going as planned. Just keep talking your crazy rants game girl. Pay no attention to the author slowly inching toward the instrument of your destruction. All I have to do is get the weapon and bash your head in with it, end of character in my fic who has no place in it. *picks up weapon and raises it over his head.* That's right, staaaayyyy rriiiiggghhhttt theeerrreee....
Gaz: Blah Blah Blah It's in my contract and nowhere does it say that I should be shunned from society in such a worthless role and..... WHAT ARE YOU DOING? *swings around to see author with golf club raised high over his head.*
OH! I was just....uhm...just... *quickly throws golf club out the window*
Gaz: You were gonna bash my brains out with that thing weren't you?
No...NO!...Of course not. I was playing.....Frolf?
Gaz: Frisbee golf? YOU DON'T EVEN USE A GOLF CLUB IN FROLF!
Maybe the way you play it you don't!
Gaz: Well I won't just sit here and have a murder attempt placed on me. I'm leaving. *trips over large tombstone*
Oh Crap!
Gaz: *raises herself up* WHAT IS THIS? *picks up tombstone and reads aloud* HERE LIES GAZ? MAY SHE REST IN PEACE BECAUSE SCRIBE E COULD NO LONGER TAKE HAVING TO FIND A PLACE FOR HER IN HIS STORY?
*laughs nervously* I thought it was kind of....funny?
Gaz: When my lawyers hear about this you're gonna be in worse trouble than O.J. in a White Bronco! You're gonna....
Tiffany Amber Theisin: Am I late for the audition?
Gaz: *turns around suprised* WHAT THE HECK ARE YOU DOING HERE?
T.A.T.: I'm here to audition for the role...*takes out a slip of paper*... of Gaz.
Gaz: OF WHO??? *Turns her head psychotically to the author* YOU WERE GONNA REPLACE ME WITH KELLY FROM SAVED BY THE BELL?
Well, I thought that maybe she would make a better sister to Dib. You know, the kids love her *points to random crowd of screaming clawing kids*
T.A.T.: Hey, I'm not just Kelly. I also did work on Beverly Hills 90210 and From Dusk till Dawn 2.
Gaz and Author at the same time: NO ONE CARES!
T.A.T.: *runs out crying*
NOW LOOK WHAT YOU DID! I'LL HAVE TO SETTLE FOR THAT CHICK FROM ROSEANNE!
Gaz: WHAT I DID? YOU PIECE OF....
Random kid: Jhonen Vasquez and.... well you know the rest. Now back to clawing and screaming! *continues clawing and screaming*
Enjoy!
Chapter 11: Bad Sh**'s Abrewing
"OoooUggghhh." Zim cried out as he awoke with yet another hang over. "Two hang overs in a 24 hour span? How is that possible?"
"That's what we'd like to know." The two tallest asked as they loomed over the fallen Zim.
"Oh! Your tallest! I didn't know you knew where I lived."
"We don't Zim, you're in our office." Zim looked around to see that he really was in their office.
"Oh...I'm sorry! I had no idea!" Zim said embarrisngly.
"Zim..." The purple tallest said in an angry tone. "You do realize that last night you came into our office at 3 in the morning, proclaimed yourself the queen of "Funktown", took off your pants, threw a half eaten piece of what seems to be a microphone at us, accussed your antennae of being slovenly, and then fell asleep crying next to an Irken cleaning machine."
Zim looked over at the cleaning machine and jumped back in horror. "I can only say that I am deeply sorry for any transaction that I may have caused you and beg for your forgiveness."
"No need to fear Zim, we are loving tallest. Therefore, we will let you out of here with a warning and no punishment shall be given to you." The red tallest said, smiling at Zim.
"Thank you your Tallest, now if you would excuse me, I have skool to go to." Zim walked out as the two tallest waved good bye to him.
"So we gonna punish him?" The red tallest asked.
"WITH EXTREME PREJUDICE!" The purple tallest said clenching his fist.
"I love it when you talk all macho."
"You would!" The two then left their office giggling like school girls.
"I'm late for skool, I can't believe this!" Zim said as he sprouted out his mechanical spider legs on his backpack to help him move faster.
"Hey there Zimmy." Dib said as he casually walked next to Zim, seemingly in no hurry.
"STINKBEAST! WHY ARE YOU NOT HURRYING TO CLASS?" Zim shouted as he slowed down to ask Dib.
"Oh, well you see turns out our teacher was at that big party at your place last night. Also turns out he got a little tipsy, got hold of a ceramic mouse statutte yadda yadda yadda we should be seeing him in 6 to 9 years, if he's on good behavior. So you see, the skool will be open at least an hour later in search of a substitute."
"*Phew*!" Zim's mechanical legs sprung back into his backpack and he walked beside Dib. "That's a relief anyway."
"Why are we going to skool anyway, we finished exams already." Dib asked.
"Stupid foul thingie, we still have to make our reports, hence the whole purpose of going to skool on Irk. It should happen in two days or so, then we are finished."
"I see. Anyway, Where did you go last night Zim?" Dib asked. "All I can remember you saying is that you 'pitied da foo's' and then ran out of the house screaming."
"Well, I was maybe a little drunk."
"A little? A LITTLE? YOU POUNDED DOWN 6 KEGS BY YOURSELF!"
"Wow..." Zim said astonishingly.
"I'll say. Although you are now the most popular kid in skool for it. So I guess I should say congratulations."
"I don't need your congratulations. I knew they would come around eventually, after all, who can resist Zim?" Zim smiled as the two finally made it into the class and saw a robot standing where they're teacher usually would.
"Seeing as how you're teacher got into some trouble with the law last night. I will be substituting until he comes back."
Zim slowly walked back to his desk as every Irken boy in the room was giving him the thumbs up and every girl in the room was blowing him kisses and for a few vice versa *ick*.
"So class please open your text books to page...Oh wait. I almost forgot." The robot substitute pulled down the screen and pulled out a remote. "Please pay attention to the front of the class for Invader Zim's punishment."
"My what?" Zim asked as footage began to run across the screen.
"Hey look it's Zim!" One of the Irkens cried.
"What's he doing with that piece of string and that concrete block?"
"Ok...listen cause these part is portant." The Zim on screen said, obviously trashed out of his mind. "I call this trick the Flaming Seaweed."
The class watched on as Zim pulled off horrific feats of horrible..... horrificness.
"OH MY GOD!" One of the students said as the film ended. "I'M BLIND!"
"Well Zim..." Dib said as he leaned over to the astonished Zim. "Looks like your five seconds of popularity is now over."
For the rest of the day, Zim banged his head against the front of his desk.
"So remember you should always *Brriinnnggg*" The bell interrupted the teacher as all the invaders got out of their seats. "Ok Invaders, remember reports in two days. Ima, would you come up here?"
Dib walked up to the robot. "Yeah?"
"I was asked to give this to you." The substitute gave Dib a small envelope and Dib opened it up anxiously. Just as the now shunned by the class Zim walked over to him, Dib began to read.
"What is that?" Zim asked pointing at the paper.
"Holy crap! I'm BEING HONORED!"
"WHAAAATTTT?" Zim cried as he snatched the paper away from Dib and skimmed it quickly. "The tallest are honoring you for destroying the most planets?"
"Awesome isn't it?"
"BUT YOU HAVEN'T DONE ANYTHING!" Zim yelled at the top of his lungs.
"Funny ain't it?" Dib walked away with a smile on his face underneath his mask as Zim had about twenty squeedily spooch attacks.
The day went by as Dib prepared for the honorment by the Tallest by splashing on the same tux he wore for his date with Devi.
"Hmmmm, better make myself more presentable, eh Dir?" Taking out a green can of paint from the closet, he spread on another lather of paint onto his Lil Sprout mask and was off to the Tallests' arena of honorment.
After walking for several minutes, he finally came upon a large stadium like structure which seemed to be packed to the brim with Irkens. He walked in, only to be showered with praise and things that resemble...praise *ok even I'll admit thats bad.*.
"You Ima?" A large Irken said, obviously an Irken bouncer.
"Yeah?"
"Come with me sir."
"Awesome." Dib thought to himself. Never before had he ever thought that the whole experience of Irken life would be this easy and comfortable. He smiled as his very own bouncer escorted him onto the stage to the two Tallest.
"Everyone SHUT UP OR I'LL VAPORIZE THE LOT OF YA!" The red tallest screamed at the crowd as everyone instantly stopped what they were doing. "That's better."
"Tonight we are all here to honor the efforts of one of the greatest Invaders ever to grace Irk with his presence." The Purple said holding a large award. "We give this award to the greatest Irken invader of this year....INVADER IMA! WIGGLE YOUR ANTENNAE FOR THE BOY!"
Everyone began to wiggle their antennae for their favorite invader and Dib was more than happy for it. He looked into the crowd to see Zim, muttering to himself angrily, in opposition to the whole ceremony. Dib could only smile as he took the award from the tallest and placed it at his side.
"Thank you all very much. I will try to make you all proud..." Dib took a large bow and quickly sprung back up. "FOR IRK! YEAAAHHHH!"
However, everyone was now quiet. There were no more cheers or the wiggling of antennae for Dib. As he looked out into the crowd, a confused look came on his face as a look of shock and fear came over all of their faces. All except for Zim, who was sporting a wicked smile. Dib looked to his right to see the tallest with the same looks of fear on their faces and looked to his left to see several Irkens rushing toward him, then......Dib looked down.
"Oh.....no." Was all Dib could get out of his mouth as he saw his mask, broken and shattered on the ground beneath him.
End Chapter 11
Wow, even I'll admit that was suspensful. What will happen to Dib now? How will Zim take advantage? What is the Flaming Seaweed Trick? Is Gir dead, or is he just sleeping... out of the author's view?
These questions and more will be answered in....
Chapter 12: Hi, My name is Dib and I'm Screwed.
Peace!