Well its hasn't been easy getting this rag tag bunch to do what I tell them *author sitting in director's chair*, but it has to be done or else they'll do whatever they want. I mean Gir is always asking for more and more prostitutes.
Gir: MORE *hic* PROSTITUTES!
See? If I weren't directing this motley bunch, nothing would ever get done around here.
Roadie: Sir?
Yes?
Roadie: Ummmm this next scene calls for some cats but we don't have any.
I CAN'T BE BOTHERED WITH THIS SORT OF THING! HERE! *takes something out of pocket and puts it into Roadie's hand.* USE THESE!
Roadie: *looks into hand and sees a rubber band and a pack of gum.* What are these for?
FOR MAKING THE CATS, STUPID!
Roadie: "Making"...? You mean like....mechanical ones?
NO! REAL ONES! NOW GET TO IT!
Roadie: *walks off with confused look*
You see what I mean, YOU SEE?
Zim: WHAT IS THIS?
*sigh* What is it Zim?
Zim: You want me to read these lines with sadness and pain? How can I do that? ZIM KNOWS NOT THESE THINGS!
Hmmmm an interesting query *lights up a cigarette and puts it out onto Zim's eye.*
Zim: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!
GOOD! USE THAT! AND ACTION!
Roadie: ....... Sir we don't have the cameras ready yet.
Fine, I'll just have to use this lunchbox, now get me two pieces of licorice and maybe we can get some work done.
*Two large white jacketed men come in, with Dib and others behind them.*
Dib: THATS THE GUY! HE KILLED MY MONKEY!
Gir: HE DIDN'T GIVE ME MY PROSTITUTE!
Real Director: HE THREW ME INTO A RIVER WITH MY FEET AND LEGS HANDCUFFED TOGETHER!
Gaz: I'M NOT IN HIS STORY MORE. *everyone stops dead. Gaz is then seen being thrown out a window.*
FINE TAKE ME AWAY, I POISONED THE WATER SUPPLY!
*everyone starts screaming and throwing up*
Before these nice men take me away, enjoy this, the finale of Invader Dib. Thanx to everyone! Now, the beginning of the end.....
Chapter 16: The Final Invasion
"Great Zim, just great." Dib kicked a rock across the scenery, slumped back against a boulder and looked up into the black sky. "You felt it so necessary for me to get off your STUPID homeplanet that you transported us to a foreign planet where everything is hostile and trying to kill us, or eat us, or worse. What was the name of this place again?"
"Blortch." Zim said, turning away from his tinkerings for a second then turning back. "Unfortunately, due to a miscalculation and loss of the temporal displacement device, we ended up here instead of earth. Also Unfortunately, I need you to teleport with me, or else the amount of mass will be hindered and my teleportation range will be severly limited."
"Did I say great in a sarcastic manner yet? Cause if I didn't....GREAT!" Dib cried as he got up. "*sigh* This is just like that stupid movie, 'Enemy Mine' where the two alien enemies get stuck on that one planet. Don't expect me to save your ass if your leg is grabbed by a sandworm Zim."
"Hmm that may be true for me, but YOU on the other hand have nothing to fear on this planet where death is concerned."
"Huh? Why's that?"
"Well..." Zim got up from his machine he was working on, mechanical tools springing back into his metallic backpack, and wiped his hands off on a dirty cloth as he turned to Dib. "Because of your skin color."
Dib looked down. "My...skin?"
"Yes, you see pink skin is considered quite the...how do you stinkbeasts put it?...turn-on here on Blortch. You'll probably get sold into prostitution or a hareem or something."
"Hmmmm well thats not so bad. What do Blortch women look like?"
"Basically they're twenty foot rat people with a nasty temper, spikey hair, and two mouths filled with razor sharp teeth. One of their mouths is on their faces."
"....Where's the other one?"
Zim smiled wickedly and looked Dib right in the face. The young earthling immediately began to shake as all of the color began to shrink off his face and he turned deathly white.
"GET US OUT OF HERE ZIM!"
"That's what I have been trying to do for sometime stinkbeast, but thanks to your constant gawking I have been distracted as of late. However, the device I was just working on should be able to send me back to Irk, that is before I teleport you into a nearby star."
"WHAT?"
"Did I say 'star'? I meant 'earth'!" Zim laughed nervously as Dib's face showed more and more anger toward the Irken Invader. "The device should be ready if we can find a large enough power source to fuel it. We should create a camp of some kind though, nights on Blortch are a little....rough."
"Fine." Dib said angrily, hating the thought that he would have to spend anytime with his enemy. A slow rumbling noise then emerged from Dib's stomach. "Damn, I'm hungry."
"Ha! Your hunger makes you weak, crapcreature!"
"'Crap Creature?' *sigh* Yeah, ok Zim. Anyway, I was meaning to ask why the hell none of you Irken eat, I mean you only seemed to do it on earth to appease the other kids around you, but on Irk, no one ever ate anything."
"Heh." Zim laughed as a large tent sprung out of his backpack and erected itself in the dirt, in front of the long cold desert. "Invaders have no need of such frivolties, at birth we are given a nutritional supplement which takes full circle within our bodies and is then eaten once again anually."
".....YOU EAT YOUR OWN SHIT!!??" Dib cried as he fell on the ground laughing.
"SHUT UP HUMAN! I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT SHIT IS!"
"Sorry, heh heh, you know what Zimmy?"
"STOP CALLING ME THAT!" Zim said, walking into the tent.
"I was so gonna kick your planet's ass in the span of the short time I was there while you couldn't beat earth in the long time you were there." Dib said smiling, following Zim into the tent.
"Of course you were, what with your great organization of dead POOPIE agents and your robot which was made out of a house." Zim laughed.
"CRAM IT WITH WALNUTS ZIM! At least I got play on Irk! What'd you get besides Gir play?"
"......I hate you."
Back on Irk.....
"MASTER! WHERE ARE YOU? WHERE ARE....Oooo pretty." Gir said as he picked up the temporal displacement device and looked at it as it glowed a bright light. The small robot handled the device for a second and then looked at its side. "Ooooo BUTTON!"
Gir pressed the button and then pressed several knobs and switches also on the machine. A few seconds after Gir's poking frenzy had ended, the device began to shake in his hand and he dropped it to the ground in fear.
"Uh oh." Gir said as the light on the device grew brighter and brighter.
Back on Blortch.....
"I swear to God Zim, if you grab my ass in this tent, you will get such an ass kicking."
"I don't know what you're talking about."
"Oh please, you make Liberaci look like John Wayne."
"I don't know to what you refer stinkbeast, but Zim is all about the ladies."
"Oh yeah, that was apparent on Irk." Dib rolled his eyes and slumped back into his sleeping bag. Just as Dib began to nod off, he felt a sharp pinch on his rear end....ummm ass. "DAMMIT ZIM WHAT'D I JUST SAY?"
"I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING!"
"....Then what?" Dib flipped open his sleeping bag to see thousands of tiny insects running all over his body. "HOLY CRAP!!!"
"AAAA SCORPIDERS!" Zim leaped out of his sleeping bag and slinked slowly to the side of the tent. "DON'T MOVE OR THEY'LL RIP OUT YOUR SPLEEN!"
"WHAT THE HELL ARE THESE THINGS!" Dib yelled, trying to remain perfectly still as the insects crawled all over him.
"Blortch's version of your earth insects known as spiders, except they're 1000 times more deadly. The only thing that will kill them is horribly sounding frequencies on a low and high signature, but no one's been able to find a sound horrible enough to work." Zim reached for his gun, thinking the only way to be rid of the Scorpiders would be to blast them off.
"WAIT WAIT! I KNOW SOMETHING!" Dib yelled as the insects began to crawl to his face. "DooOOO YooOOUuu BEEeelLLIEeeVVEee IInn LiiFFeee AAffttEERR lOOOveEEE?"
The Scorpiders began to explode one by one as Dib began to sing the horrible Cher song. Just as he hit the last note, all of the remaining insects trying to flee blew into pieces.
"How the hell?" Zim asked.
"I'll have to thank Cher when or if I get back to Earth. Frankly I've had it up to here with aliens, Blortch and Irk included."
"So this means you won't be invading my planet any longer?"
"GO BACK THERE? Like HELL! I'll just leave it up to the government's Black Ops and Nukes to beat you."
"Yeah suurrreee." Zim said sarcastically, rolling his eyes.
"But right now, we're getting the hell out of this stupid tent and finding a freaking power source to get off this God forsaken planet."
Back on Earth.....
"DIE ZOMBIES DIE!" Gaz cried as she looked at the television screen, her main character blowing off zombie heads left and right.
"Gaz.... I'm so sorry!" Membrane came into the room sobbing, smelling of cheap whiskey and snails. "It was me who killed your....hey you wouldn't happen to have any money on you would you? I drained your college funds betting that your brother's corpse would pop up in the near future."
"No dad. Now leave me alone, you may be my father but no one gets in my way when it comes to.... Hey what's that?" Gaz said, pointing out the window.
"I don't know." Membrane said, puzzled at the sight. Just as he began to contemplate what was happening, a blinding light came out of nowhere . "I CAN'T SEE!"
"WHAT? WHAT'S HAPPENING?" After a few seconds of the light, it stopped as abruptly as it had begun. The father and daughter rubbed their eyes, trying to regain their vision. Gaz blinked her eyes a couple times as she regained her vision and then, when her vision was finally restored.......she looked outside.
".....Oh my God."
Back on Blortch.....
"Come on you wimp, this'll work!" Dib said, practically dragging Zim across the terrain.
"YOU IDIOT! DO YOU KNOW HOW UNLIKELY IT IS FOR A LIGHTING BOLT TO HIT THE POWER SOURCE? I MEAN BLORTCH DOESN'T EVEN HAVE LIGHTNING!"
"Yeah yeah, we have about the same chance as Sinbad getting his own tv show *blatant rip off* but he did, and so will we....Get power I mean."
"And how do you suppose we do that? AND WOULD YOU STOP DRAGGING ME!!" Dib let go of the annoyed Irken and pointed to a nearby peak.
"Simple, we go up to the highest point and hold the device up into the air."
"......You think of that all by yourself?" Zim said sarcastically.
"Shut up Irk boy. You're plan of 'sitting around and doing nothing' wasn't working out too well."
"I'll punch you in YOUR wormhole." Zim muttered.
"What was that?"
"Nothing."
After a few minutes of walking and hiking, the unlikely pair finally made it to the top of the peak.
"All right." Dib said confidently as storm clouds began to form near his point. "This should work."
"Uh oh."
"Uh oh? WHAT UH OH?" Dib cried, Zim pointing down.
"THAT UH OH!" As the two looked down, they saw thousands of rat people slowly beginning to congregate along the edge of the peak and began to climb toward them.
"OH GREAT! JUST GREAT!"
"LOOK! WE CAN DO THIS! YOU JUST HAVE TO GET THE CLOUDS ANGRY AT YOU!!" Zim yelled, shaking Dib.
"......You've taken way to many prozacs Zimmy."
"NO YOU IDIOT! The clouds on Blortch are sentient, if you get them angry, they'll try to shoot you with current bolts. If you can make sure that they hit the device, that will give us the needed power." Zim then took the device and programmed it. "THERE! It'll take us to Earth. I'll keep the rat people busy while you aggrivate the clouds."
"All right." Zim then turned around, two large shotgun type lasers bursting out of his backpack. He grabbed the two in the air as Dib walked over to him. "Good luck."
"....." Zim then punched Dib in the stomach, hard. "Up yours stinkbeast. Just because we're working together doesn't give you the right to get all weepy on me. Just get the power, DICK!"
"AAAK!" Dib cried in pain as Zim dropped down into the crowd of rat people.
"ALL RIGHT RATTOS! WHO WANTS TO TAKE A TRIP ON ZIM'S WILD RIDE?" Zim then proceeded to pound round after round into the crowd. Limbs, appendages, and organs began to fly past him as for every rat he took down, another was there to take its place.
"Damn." Dib said in astonishment as he saw Zim hold off the Blortchians. The young earthling then snapped out of it as he turned around and ran toward the clouds. Holding the device high up into the air, Dib then thought of the perfect insult. "YO CLOUDS! I DID YOUR MOMS LAST NIGHT, NOOGE!"
"Oh for the love of..." Zim said rolling his eyes, still pumping blast after blast.
Dib closed his eyes and waited for the power to course through it, but nothing happened. "What? Why aren't they attacking?"
"COME ON! COME ON! WHO ELSE WANTS SOME?" Zim said as he kept pulling the triggers of his shotguns. Just as Zim took down another rat person, he heard the sound of his two guns' chambers go on empty. "Oh crap."
"ZIM! THEY'RE NOT GETTING ANGRY! I SAID I DID THEIR MOTHERS AND EVERYTHING!"
"Stupid stinkbeast." Zim muttered to himself as a huge double edged laser axe blew out of his back and fell into his grip. "CLOUDS DON'T HAVE MOTHERS YOU IDIOT, THEY DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT!"
"Oh crap. What else can I say to them?" Dib contemplated.
"JUST DO SOMETHING DAMMIT!" Zim said as he slashed away at all the rat people more and more surrounding him.
"Ok, let me think. ....GOT IT!" Dib said, once again holding the device in the air. "YOUR NIMBUS IS SO STUPID, WHEN IT SAW THE SIGN SAYING AIRPORT LEFT, IT WENT HOME!"
With that the cloud let out a huge amount of energy, striking the power source of the device. Dib yelled in triumph as he looked at the machine.
"ZIM! THE DEVICE IS READY!"
"STUPENDOUS! NOW...." Because Zim was paying attention to Dib, he did not see the spiked tail of one of the rat people fly at his face. The tail struck against the side of the Irken's face, knocking out his right eye and shattering his antennae. Zim then slammed into the rock behind him and reached for his sword which had fallen to the ground. Just as he finally grabbed it, one of the rats bit down on his left hand, ripping it off at the wrist. "AAAAAAAAAAAAA!"
"ZIM!" Dib cried as he began to slide down the cliff. He finally reached Zim, who was on the ground reaching for anything that would dissuade the rat peoples' wrath. "Ok, ok, which button was it?"
Zim spit up some blood up into the air and managed to point at the button that was flashing a green light.
"Fine, HERE WE GO...ALL SLIDERS AND CRAP!" Dib yelled as he pressed the button, a temporal gate forming in front of the two foes. Dib threw Zim through first and then jumped in behind him, but not before he threw something back from Zim's backpack.
The rat people sniffed at the small device which had a smiley face on it, with a note attached which read....
"1...2...3...BOOM!" The device then exploded taking out the rat people and half of Blortch.
"OOF!" Dib cried as he hit the ground with a large thud. He breathed in deep as he realized he must now be home. Before he looked at anything, he had to check on Zim. As he looked up there he saw Zim, looking good as ever. "Zim?"
"What?" As Zim turned around, Dib noticed the Irkens backpack working on his eye, antennae, and hand. The backpack strung together machinery where the Irken parts used to be and gave them the appearance of what they once were.
"Damn. Where do I get me one of those?" Dib asked.
"You don't get one stinkbeast. Only those with technological know how and experience can get these.....thingies." Zim then turned around and began to tinker with his new robotic parts.
"Well thats a relief any.....way..." Dib stopped dead in mid sentence. "Zim?"
"WILL YOU NEVER STOP QUESTIONING ME STINKBEAST? WHAT IS IT NOW?"
"I thought we were going to earth."
"IDIOT WE ARE ON......earth....." Zim said as he looked up. The scenery was changed, almost split into two. On one side, the landscape of earth. On the other, the cold, red landscape of Irk. The two were now merged with one another, half was earth and half was Irk. The two enemies stood silent with their mouthes open for a good ten minutes before Dib finally said something.
"Oh boy."
End Invader Dib
Coming Soon.......
Invader Dib 2: When Worlds Collide.
Gir: MORE *hic* PROSTITUTES!
See? If I weren't directing this motley bunch, nothing would ever get done around here.
Roadie: Sir?
Yes?
Roadie: Ummmm this next scene calls for some cats but we don't have any.
I CAN'T BE BOTHERED WITH THIS SORT OF THING! HERE! *takes something out of pocket and puts it into Roadie's hand.* USE THESE!
Roadie: *looks into hand and sees a rubber band and a pack of gum.* What are these for?
FOR MAKING THE CATS, STUPID!
Roadie: "Making"...? You mean like....mechanical ones?
NO! REAL ONES! NOW GET TO IT!
Roadie: *walks off with confused look*
You see what I mean, YOU SEE?
Zim: WHAT IS THIS?
*sigh* What is it Zim?
Zim: You want me to read these lines with sadness and pain? How can I do that? ZIM KNOWS NOT THESE THINGS!
Hmmmm an interesting query *lights up a cigarette and puts it out onto Zim's eye.*
Zim: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!
GOOD! USE THAT! AND ACTION!
Roadie: ....... Sir we don't have the cameras ready yet.
Fine, I'll just have to use this lunchbox, now get me two pieces of licorice and maybe we can get some work done.
*Two large white jacketed men come in, with Dib and others behind them.*
Dib: THATS THE GUY! HE KILLED MY MONKEY!
Gir: HE DIDN'T GIVE ME MY PROSTITUTE!
Real Director: HE THREW ME INTO A RIVER WITH MY FEET AND LEGS HANDCUFFED TOGETHER!
Gaz: I'M NOT IN HIS STORY MORE. *everyone stops dead. Gaz is then seen being thrown out a window.*
FINE TAKE ME AWAY, I POISONED THE WATER SUPPLY!
*everyone starts screaming and throwing up*
Before these nice men take me away, enjoy this, the finale of Invader Dib. Thanx to everyone! Now, the beginning of the end.....
Chapter 16: The Final Invasion
"Great Zim, just great." Dib kicked a rock across the scenery, slumped back against a boulder and looked up into the black sky. "You felt it so necessary for me to get off your STUPID homeplanet that you transported us to a foreign planet where everything is hostile and trying to kill us, or eat us, or worse. What was the name of this place again?"
"Blortch." Zim said, turning away from his tinkerings for a second then turning back. "Unfortunately, due to a miscalculation and loss of the temporal displacement device, we ended up here instead of earth. Also Unfortunately, I need you to teleport with me, or else the amount of mass will be hindered and my teleportation range will be severly limited."
"Did I say great in a sarcastic manner yet? Cause if I didn't....GREAT!" Dib cried as he got up. "*sigh* This is just like that stupid movie, 'Enemy Mine' where the two alien enemies get stuck on that one planet. Don't expect me to save your ass if your leg is grabbed by a sandworm Zim."
"Hmm that may be true for me, but YOU on the other hand have nothing to fear on this planet where death is concerned."
"Huh? Why's that?"
"Well..." Zim got up from his machine he was working on, mechanical tools springing back into his metallic backpack, and wiped his hands off on a dirty cloth as he turned to Dib. "Because of your skin color."
Dib looked down. "My...skin?"
"Yes, you see pink skin is considered quite the...how do you stinkbeasts put it?...turn-on here on Blortch. You'll probably get sold into prostitution or a hareem or something."
"Hmmmm well thats not so bad. What do Blortch women look like?"
"Basically they're twenty foot rat people with a nasty temper, spikey hair, and two mouths filled with razor sharp teeth. One of their mouths is on their faces."
"....Where's the other one?"
Zim smiled wickedly and looked Dib right in the face. The young earthling immediately began to shake as all of the color began to shrink off his face and he turned deathly white.
"GET US OUT OF HERE ZIM!"
"That's what I have been trying to do for sometime stinkbeast, but thanks to your constant gawking I have been distracted as of late. However, the device I was just working on should be able to send me back to Irk, that is before I teleport you into a nearby star."
"WHAT?"
"Did I say 'star'? I meant 'earth'!" Zim laughed nervously as Dib's face showed more and more anger toward the Irken Invader. "The device should be ready if we can find a large enough power source to fuel it. We should create a camp of some kind though, nights on Blortch are a little....rough."
"Fine." Dib said angrily, hating the thought that he would have to spend anytime with his enemy. A slow rumbling noise then emerged from Dib's stomach. "Damn, I'm hungry."
"Ha! Your hunger makes you weak, crapcreature!"
"'Crap Creature?' *sigh* Yeah, ok Zim. Anyway, I was meaning to ask why the hell none of you Irken eat, I mean you only seemed to do it on earth to appease the other kids around you, but on Irk, no one ever ate anything."
"Heh." Zim laughed as a large tent sprung out of his backpack and erected itself in the dirt, in front of the long cold desert. "Invaders have no need of such frivolties, at birth we are given a nutritional supplement which takes full circle within our bodies and is then eaten once again anually."
".....YOU EAT YOUR OWN SHIT!!??" Dib cried as he fell on the ground laughing.
"SHUT UP HUMAN! I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT SHIT IS!"
"Sorry, heh heh, you know what Zimmy?"
"STOP CALLING ME THAT!" Zim said, walking into the tent.
"I was so gonna kick your planet's ass in the span of the short time I was there while you couldn't beat earth in the long time you were there." Dib said smiling, following Zim into the tent.
"Of course you were, what with your great organization of dead POOPIE agents and your robot which was made out of a house." Zim laughed.
"CRAM IT WITH WALNUTS ZIM! At least I got play on Irk! What'd you get besides Gir play?"
"......I hate you."
Back on Irk.....
"MASTER! WHERE ARE YOU? WHERE ARE....Oooo pretty." Gir said as he picked up the temporal displacement device and looked at it as it glowed a bright light. The small robot handled the device for a second and then looked at its side. "Ooooo BUTTON!"
Gir pressed the button and then pressed several knobs and switches also on the machine. A few seconds after Gir's poking frenzy had ended, the device began to shake in his hand and he dropped it to the ground in fear.
"Uh oh." Gir said as the light on the device grew brighter and brighter.
Back on Blortch.....
"I swear to God Zim, if you grab my ass in this tent, you will get such an ass kicking."
"I don't know what you're talking about."
"Oh please, you make Liberaci look like John Wayne."
"I don't know to what you refer stinkbeast, but Zim is all about the ladies."
"Oh yeah, that was apparent on Irk." Dib rolled his eyes and slumped back into his sleeping bag. Just as Dib began to nod off, he felt a sharp pinch on his rear end....ummm ass. "DAMMIT ZIM WHAT'D I JUST SAY?"
"I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING!"
"....Then what?" Dib flipped open his sleeping bag to see thousands of tiny insects running all over his body. "HOLY CRAP!!!"
"AAAA SCORPIDERS!" Zim leaped out of his sleeping bag and slinked slowly to the side of the tent. "DON'T MOVE OR THEY'LL RIP OUT YOUR SPLEEN!"
"WHAT THE HELL ARE THESE THINGS!" Dib yelled, trying to remain perfectly still as the insects crawled all over him.
"Blortch's version of your earth insects known as spiders, except they're 1000 times more deadly. The only thing that will kill them is horribly sounding frequencies on a low and high signature, but no one's been able to find a sound horrible enough to work." Zim reached for his gun, thinking the only way to be rid of the Scorpiders would be to blast them off.
"WAIT WAIT! I KNOW SOMETHING!" Dib yelled as the insects began to crawl to his face. "DooOOO YooOOUuu BEEeelLLIEeeVVEee IInn LiiFFeee AAffttEERR lOOOveEEE?"
The Scorpiders began to explode one by one as Dib began to sing the horrible Cher song. Just as he hit the last note, all of the remaining insects trying to flee blew into pieces.
"How the hell?" Zim asked.
"I'll have to thank Cher when or if I get back to Earth. Frankly I've had it up to here with aliens, Blortch and Irk included."
"So this means you won't be invading my planet any longer?"
"GO BACK THERE? Like HELL! I'll just leave it up to the government's Black Ops and Nukes to beat you."
"Yeah suurrreee." Zim said sarcastically, rolling his eyes.
"But right now, we're getting the hell out of this stupid tent and finding a freaking power source to get off this God forsaken planet."
Back on Earth.....
"DIE ZOMBIES DIE!" Gaz cried as she looked at the television screen, her main character blowing off zombie heads left and right.
"Gaz.... I'm so sorry!" Membrane came into the room sobbing, smelling of cheap whiskey and snails. "It was me who killed your....hey you wouldn't happen to have any money on you would you? I drained your college funds betting that your brother's corpse would pop up in the near future."
"No dad. Now leave me alone, you may be my father but no one gets in my way when it comes to.... Hey what's that?" Gaz said, pointing out the window.
"I don't know." Membrane said, puzzled at the sight. Just as he began to contemplate what was happening, a blinding light came out of nowhere . "I CAN'T SEE!"
"WHAT? WHAT'S HAPPENING?" After a few seconds of the light, it stopped as abruptly as it had begun. The father and daughter rubbed their eyes, trying to regain their vision. Gaz blinked her eyes a couple times as she regained her vision and then, when her vision was finally restored.......she looked outside.
".....Oh my God."
Back on Blortch.....
"Come on you wimp, this'll work!" Dib said, practically dragging Zim across the terrain.
"YOU IDIOT! DO YOU KNOW HOW UNLIKELY IT IS FOR A LIGHTING BOLT TO HIT THE POWER SOURCE? I MEAN BLORTCH DOESN'T EVEN HAVE LIGHTNING!"
"Yeah yeah, we have about the same chance as Sinbad getting his own tv show *blatant rip off* but he did, and so will we....Get power I mean."
"And how do you suppose we do that? AND WOULD YOU STOP DRAGGING ME!!" Dib let go of the annoyed Irken and pointed to a nearby peak.
"Simple, we go up to the highest point and hold the device up into the air."
"......You think of that all by yourself?" Zim said sarcastically.
"Shut up Irk boy. You're plan of 'sitting around and doing nothing' wasn't working out too well."
"I'll punch you in YOUR wormhole." Zim muttered.
"What was that?"
"Nothing."
After a few minutes of walking and hiking, the unlikely pair finally made it to the top of the peak.
"All right." Dib said confidently as storm clouds began to form near his point. "This should work."
"Uh oh."
"Uh oh? WHAT UH OH?" Dib cried, Zim pointing down.
"THAT UH OH!" As the two looked down, they saw thousands of rat people slowly beginning to congregate along the edge of the peak and began to climb toward them.
"OH GREAT! JUST GREAT!"
"LOOK! WE CAN DO THIS! YOU JUST HAVE TO GET THE CLOUDS ANGRY AT YOU!!" Zim yelled, shaking Dib.
"......You've taken way to many prozacs Zimmy."
"NO YOU IDIOT! The clouds on Blortch are sentient, if you get them angry, they'll try to shoot you with current bolts. If you can make sure that they hit the device, that will give us the needed power." Zim then took the device and programmed it. "THERE! It'll take us to Earth. I'll keep the rat people busy while you aggrivate the clouds."
"All right." Zim then turned around, two large shotgun type lasers bursting out of his backpack. He grabbed the two in the air as Dib walked over to him. "Good luck."
"....." Zim then punched Dib in the stomach, hard. "Up yours stinkbeast. Just because we're working together doesn't give you the right to get all weepy on me. Just get the power, DICK!"
"AAAK!" Dib cried in pain as Zim dropped down into the crowd of rat people.
"ALL RIGHT RATTOS! WHO WANTS TO TAKE A TRIP ON ZIM'S WILD RIDE?" Zim then proceeded to pound round after round into the crowd. Limbs, appendages, and organs began to fly past him as for every rat he took down, another was there to take its place.
"Damn." Dib said in astonishment as he saw Zim hold off the Blortchians. The young earthling then snapped out of it as he turned around and ran toward the clouds. Holding the device high up into the air, Dib then thought of the perfect insult. "YO CLOUDS! I DID YOUR MOMS LAST NIGHT, NOOGE!"
"Oh for the love of..." Zim said rolling his eyes, still pumping blast after blast.
Dib closed his eyes and waited for the power to course through it, but nothing happened. "What? Why aren't they attacking?"
"COME ON! COME ON! WHO ELSE WANTS SOME?" Zim said as he kept pulling the triggers of his shotguns. Just as Zim took down another rat person, he heard the sound of his two guns' chambers go on empty. "Oh crap."
"ZIM! THEY'RE NOT GETTING ANGRY! I SAID I DID THEIR MOTHERS AND EVERYTHING!"
"Stupid stinkbeast." Zim muttered to himself as a huge double edged laser axe blew out of his back and fell into his grip. "CLOUDS DON'T HAVE MOTHERS YOU IDIOT, THEY DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT!"
"Oh crap. What else can I say to them?" Dib contemplated.
"JUST DO SOMETHING DAMMIT!" Zim said as he slashed away at all the rat people more and more surrounding him.
"Ok, let me think. ....GOT IT!" Dib said, once again holding the device in the air. "YOUR NIMBUS IS SO STUPID, WHEN IT SAW THE SIGN SAYING AIRPORT LEFT, IT WENT HOME!"
With that the cloud let out a huge amount of energy, striking the power source of the device. Dib yelled in triumph as he looked at the machine.
"ZIM! THE DEVICE IS READY!"
"STUPENDOUS! NOW...." Because Zim was paying attention to Dib, he did not see the spiked tail of one of the rat people fly at his face. The tail struck against the side of the Irken's face, knocking out his right eye and shattering his antennae. Zim then slammed into the rock behind him and reached for his sword which had fallen to the ground. Just as he finally grabbed it, one of the rats bit down on his left hand, ripping it off at the wrist. "AAAAAAAAAAAAA!"
"ZIM!" Dib cried as he began to slide down the cliff. He finally reached Zim, who was on the ground reaching for anything that would dissuade the rat peoples' wrath. "Ok, ok, which button was it?"
Zim spit up some blood up into the air and managed to point at the button that was flashing a green light.
"Fine, HERE WE GO...ALL SLIDERS AND CRAP!" Dib yelled as he pressed the button, a temporal gate forming in front of the two foes. Dib threw Zim through first and then jumped in behind him, but not before he threw something back from Zim's backpack.
The rat people sniffed at the small device which had a smiley face on it, with a note attached which read....
"1...2...3...BOOM!" The device then exploded taking out the rat people and half of Blortch.
"OOF!" Dib cried as he hit the ground with a large thud. He breathed in deep as he realized he must now be home. Before he looked at anything, he had to check on Zim. As he looked up there he saw Zim, looking good as ever. "Zim?"
"What?" As Zim turned around, Dib noticed the Irkens backpack working on his eye, antennae, and hand. The backpack strung together machinery where the Irken parts used to be and gave them the appearance of what they once were.
"Damn. Where do I get me one of those?" Dib asked.
"You don't get one stinkbeast. Only those with technological know how and experience can get these.....thingies." Zim then turned around and began to tinker with his new robotic parts.
"Well thats a relief any.....way..." Dib stopped dead in mid sentence. "Zim?"
"WILL YOU NEVER STOP QUESTIONING ME STINKBEAST? WHAT IS IT NOW?"
"I thought we were going to earth."
"IDIOT WE ARE ON......earth....." Zim said as he looked up. The scenery was changed, almost split into two. On one side, the landscape of earth. On the other, the cold, red landscape of Irk. The two were now merged with one another, half was earth and half was Irk. The two enemies stood silent with their mouthes open for a good ten minutes before Dib finally said something.
"Oh boy."
End Invader Dib
Coming Soon.......
Invader Dib 2: When Worlds Collide.