Disclaimer / Author's Note: Wai! We've moved to Arizona! I saw two rainbows today! And I read a really good D/H (Draco and Harry, not Draco and Hermione. I don't see the latter two as a couple, although some lovely fics have been written for them.) fanfic! Wai! ^^ So you know, my favorite pairings, from best down, are R/H (Ron and Hermione), D/H (Draco and Harry), and R/H (Ron and Harry). I like shonen ai a lot, ne? Thurday/September, you are so talented! ^^ I'm a bit hyper tonight! ^^; And, I don't own any of these characters, except me. I made up the little song all on my own. Like it? And please don't sue!
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Roxy was once again on the set she had filled with chaos. She was hopping around, grinning, and wearing a Playboy bunny suit.
Also, she was singing: "Oh, there once was a guy named Harry Potter! I paired him with Draco Malfoy and they had a daughter! Her name was Chrysanthemum, but who did she come from? Playing video games were her and her daddies. Drackie-poo was killed by the baddies!
"One fine day, Chrys asked them how babies were made, while playing Chrono Cross. The two looked at each other, surprised, but they were at a loss! So Harry-chan gave her a special book, and Drackie-poo gave him the look! They had a big fight, but they made up in bed that night!"
Harry and Draco looked at each other with wide, scared eyes. Voldemort was snickering in the background, and Hermione was giggling. Ron, however, was trying to hide from the Frog Demon, afraid that she would sing a song about her third favorite couple: Him and Harry.
Midori Ryuu stopped singing, clapped her hands together, and spoke cheerfully: "Time for me to think of a plot! Wai!"
"Hmmm.... I'm in the mood for comedic shonen ai," she said, looking around thoughtfully. "Voldie-chan, who do you like better, Harry or Draco?"
Both boys once more adopted a look of utter terror and revulsion on their faces.
"Hmm.... Well, you could always write me having an obsession with Potter, but then again, you could make Lucius promise me his son." The Dark Lord was smiling in a predatory way, much like the aggressive men in yaoi manga.
At those words, as well as the grin, the two began to hyperventilate. Harry pulled a couple of branches out of nowhere, and pretended to be a tree, a la Miaka Yuuki. Draco hid behind Ron, at which the insane writer raised an eyebrow and smiled.
"You know, you two are awfully cute together...." she hinted, making Draco scamper out from behind his shield.
She began to look thoughtful, which made all of the boys even more nervous. Neville was beginning to be happy that she liked him too much to pair him up with anyone, especially a guy.
"Malfie-chan, you get to play a guy. Unless you wish to be part of a yuri story?"
"Not entirely sure if he was to be frightened more or relieved, he spoke, softly and trembling: "I... I'll be a guy."
"Wai! Then I can make this even more fun!"
All of the remaining male cast was beginning to back away.
"It's a love triangle! Harry loves Drackie-poo, Drackie-poo loves Voldie-chan, and Voldie-chan loves Harry! And it all ends in some sort of citric flavor! Orange, lime, or lemon! I want a bit of the first two, or else, dearies!"
"W... What about me?" Hermione asked nervously.
"Hmm... We need a more definite plot, don't we? Well, You're Harry's Mommy, and you catch him sneaking off to meet his little crushy-wushy, so you follow him. This will probably end in a threesome, you are warned!" she said, winking at the last part, which made the two younger boys of her little triangle gulp with fear. "Time to pick names!"
"Mrs. Hendersonschmeiter," muttered Hermione.
"Tommy Hendersonschmeiter," Harry said meekly.
"Larry Whatshisname," squeaked Malfoy, in an unnaturally high voice.
"The Masked Mister Yaoi Lover Man! Also known as TMMYLM for short. But they can call me Bob if they want, during sex!" Voldemort said, ever-cheerful, which scared them even more than when he was being Evil instead of Evil/Genki/Perverted.
"Time to start!" the female yaoi fan of the odd group said, also cheerful.
She clapped her hands, and at the sound, she and her guests were in the Mystical Mirror Place, while all of the actors were on their set, which was a little suburb-type house surrounded by skyscrapers and scummy-looking places.
"Good night, Tommy!" Mrs. Hendersonschmeiter called to her son.
"Good night, Mom!" he replied happily, settling under his blankets.
As soon as her heard her footsteps reach the bottom floor of their house, Tommy hopped out of bed. He pulled off his pajamas, which were pink and baby blue flannel with bunnies on them. He then squeezed into a tight pair of jeans and a shirt that was reminiscent of Fabio. He pulled on a pair of shoes, and climbed down the drainpipe, just outside his window. Away from the little garden he sprinted, towards a grubby-looking bar.
Unknown to him, his Mother had heard him, and looked out the window. She spotted him, and, suspicious, snuck out after him moments later. She, being resourceful, disguised herself as a businessman using some of the things her secret lover had left behind in the rush to not be discovered by her husband. She followed him into the bar, and was shocked to find out what her darling little boy was into.
Men were dressed in leather, some of them S&M outfits like the ones she wore when with her lover. There were many doors, and sounds coming from them. A doorknob turned on one of them, and two men, both looking satisfied, walked out, one with a shirt on backwards. She spotted her boy walking over a man wearing a costume straight from an old comic book, and another one, which was dressed comparatively normal, in regular street clothes.
The two waved to Tommy, and he waved back. She moved a bit closer to them, as they started talking.
"Hi, Masked Mister Yaoi Lover Man," he said to the costumed man, who she noticed was older than him.
"Please, dear, call me Bob," he replied.
"Not until you take off the mask! And the pants, for that matter," the boy dressed normally exclaimed teasingly, pinching the older man's butt.
"Enough joking, Larry," said Bob. "Shall we?"
The man nodded to her supposedly innocent son, and gestured towards a door.
"Only if Larry joins in!"
"Gladly!" Larry replied.
The two stood up, and they all joined hands. Together, they skipped into a room and shut the door. Shuddering at the voices coming from the room, the woman thought of what kind of things were happening to her son. She gathered up her nerves, and marched towards the door.
She kicked the door, and, with a loud thud, it landed. Her eyes widened upon seeing the... sandwich of naked men, and a bit of blood trickled from her nose, but she stayed conscious.
She stopped staring and stomped over to her son, and grabbed a hold of his ear. Thinking it was another man wanting to join in, her son began to reach for the zipper to her pants, but she didn't notice, or seem to care.
"Why couldn't you fall for a nice young man like Max Robinson?!" she shrieked.
Apparently recognizing her voice, her son stopped fumbling with the zipper. And so, the night ended with Mrs. Hendersonschmeiter dragging her son by the ear, still naked, back to the house, screaming angrily the whole way.
Roxy was suddenly back on the ground, with the actors.
"Wonderful! And Drackie-poo, you look a bit cold," she added, handing him a blanket.
He blushed, and wrapped up in it.
"It's a hard discussion, but you're off, Voldie-chan."
"Aww...." He-Who-Used-To-Be-Unspeakable groaned.
The author snapped, and she was back in the Mystical Mirror Place, with her newest guest, who seemed to make the others very nervous.
What insanity comes next? Stay tuned!