Disclaimer: I own nothing except myself. The plot (What plot?) for this fic is my idea and I'll be rather upset if you use it without asking me. Please, don't sue me. I've been listening to Nippon Crush Radio for a very long time, and the pretty songs are affecting my head. The indoor treehouse thing is an inside joke, and you are not expected to understand it. Now, then, shall we start the fun? Oh, yeah. Draco is constantly wearing leather in fics because... he looks good in it! And Ann, if you're reading this, pleeeeeease hurry up with the picture of Nevi-chan!
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Roxy appeared right behind Harry, with Neville, who she was hugging and trying to get to kiss her.
"Come one, Nevi-chan! You know you want to! It's just one kiss! I won't bite!" she coaxed.
"No! I don't trust you!" he refused.
"Nevi-chan?!" said Draco, almost doubling up with laughter.
"Shut up, Drackie-poo," the two Gryffindors in the game and the author said at once.
The author managed to slip her arm around the round-faced boy's waist to keep him from running and turned to face the cast, her bunny ears flopping.
"I've already written the ending omake, but I might write some more stuff to add!" she said cheerfully.
"But..." Harry said, raising his hand. "Doesn't that mean the game is fixed?"
"Yeah. So what?" she replied, innocent confusion in her eyes, which, Neville noticed, most likely not of his own decision, was a very good look for her.
The Boy Who Lived shook his head in disbelief, letting her continue.
"This round is a very special round," she continued, nodding her head in a matter-of-fact way. "You will be in a Harry Potter fanfic, but you will not play yourselves. Specially constructed androids will play you, as well as other characters. You three will be playing people in a self-insertion and friends fic."
Horror came to the three faces.
"No... Please... Not that! Self-insertion fics are the lowest of the low!" sobbed Malfoy.
The Frog Demon hit with with a frying pan.
"I happen to WRITE self-insertion fics, you slimy little git!"
"I'm sorry! I'm sorry!" he wailed.
"Now, then. Hermione, you're the star. You are a simple anime-style Japanese schoolgirl. To make things interesting, you're in love with Harry, a classmate. Draco, you're playing Hermione's best friend, also a girl. You all get sucked into Hogwarts by reading the book; it's kinda Fushigi Yuugi-ish.
Drackie-poo, I've decided that I want you to be in love with either Harry or Hermione, if not both. Nobody necessarily has to end up with somebody from their own world, but there MUST be love interest! Any questions?"
Neville raised his hand.
"Yes, dear?"
"D.. Do you want me to be in this?" he asked nervously.
"Are you volunteering? Because you can have a part if you want one. You can even pick your own!"
"Umm..." he looked from the contestants to Roxy several times.
"Well, dear?"
"I think I'll sit out again..."
"That's OK, Neville!" the author said cheerfully, clapping him gently on the back. "Names, please."
"Miharu," Hermione replied nervously.
"Makoto," said Harry.
"Kumo," Draco said distractedly, wondering if he could wear a cute school uniform.
"Well, I suppose we should start now!"
She snapped. The cast members were in costume, in the setting of a library, and she and her favorite guest were back in the Mystical Mirror Place.
Kumo sat in a comfortable chair, a pink bubble popping as she neared the ending of a fantasy novel with scantily clad people on the front. Miharu was giggling quietly over a shoujo manga, and Makoto was reading a manga as well, only his was obviously shonen, judging by the well-endowed girl on the cover, leaning over so that horny teenage boys could see down her shirt.
The 'third wheel' set down her novel, within the same minute as her two friends.
"I'm bored. We need something more interesting to read," she whispered, adjusting her very short, blue, pleated skirt and matching sailor top.
The star of this little story picked up a thick hardcover book labeled 'Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire.'
"Looks like a Japanese translation of a British children's book," she whispered back, a hint of interest in her voice.
"Goody!" her crush exclaimed, earning a librarian's glare.
She blushed, and opened it to the first page. "Come on, won't you read it with me?"
Her friends shrugged and gathered around the heavy book. Silently, so as not to annoy the librarian, they all began to read.
Before they reached the second paragraph, red and gold swirly lights flashed, making it impossible to see the room, and they all felt as though they were falling. Suddenly, with a slight thump, they all found themselves on a desk in a dungeon where many cauldrons were being attended by fourteen year olds in black robes.
The entire room was staring at them, and Miharu could've sworn she heard somebody mention something called 'Dark Magic' and 'You-Know-Who.' The three turned around as they heard an unseen throat being cleared, to find a greasy-haired man looking back at them.
"Might I ask what you are all doing here, and why you fell out of my ceiling?"
"Umm... Hi... My name's Miharu. These are my associates, Makoto and Kumo."
"D'you think they Apparated?" a red-haired boy with freckles whispered to a boy with black hair and glasses.
"You can't Apparate or Disapparate on Hogwarts grounds!" a girl with bushy brown hair and rather large front teeth hissed at the boy who talked.
"Five points from Gryffindor," the man, who seemed to be a teacher, said, clearly overhearing. "You know better than to talk.
"Can you tell us where we are?" Kumo asked, trying to smile in a charming way.
"What's your house? Ten points from it each for disrupting class."
"House?" the trio asked at once, confused.
"So you're not students. Potter, Weasley, Granger, escort them to the Headmaster's office."
"He's probably hoping they'll be dark Wizards and they'll finish us off," said the boy with glasses.
Kumo noticed that his eyes were bright green, and he had a lightning-bolt shaped scar on his forehead.
"Now," insisted the teacher.
The three students that had talked beckoned to the three on the desk, who slid off, messing up a few papers, and followed them out of the door and into a hallway. They closed the door and began to walk.
"Who are you?" asked the girl, eyeing them nervously.
"I'm Miharu Kusabi."
"Makoto Yuuki."
"Kumo Yume."
"And how'd you get here?" the red-haired boy inquired.
"Well," Makoto began, as if it were an everyday, casual manner. "We were reading a book called-"
He was cut off by Kumo's elbow to his stomach. She leaned up to him.
"If we say they're book characters, they'll think we're crazy and lock us up!" she hissed.
"We were reading, and the next thing we knew, we were in the middle of your class!" Miharu concluded, laughing slightly, in a nervous way. "What are your names?"
"Harry Potter."
"Ron Weasley."
"Hermione Granger."
The girls from the other world noticed that Harry and Ron were eyeing their short skirts from the corners of their eyes.
"So..." began the only boy of his group. "Where are we?"
"Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry," said Potter, earning himself an elbow from Granger, who turned and whispered in his ear.
Yume, having the best ears, could catch the word 'Muggles,' but nothing else.
"Soo....." said one of the teenagers; it didn't matter who.
"Soo....."
"Yeah...."
Before they knew it, they had arrived at a large gargoyle. Harry knocked politely on it, and an old man with long, silver hair appeared as the gargoyle moved out of the way.
"Professor Dumbledore, these three fell out of the ceiling and onto Professor Snape's desk during Potions," said Ron, as if it were a normal occurrence.
"Another three people from another world? Very well, come in."
Extremely confused by all of it, the other world people stepped into his office as asked. Makoto, not being a particularly smart boy, was fascinated by all the pretty colors. Silvery contraptions littered the room, and there was a red and gold bird in the cage.
"Dude..." he said, tugging on Miharu's sleeve and pointing. "It's Suzaku!"
"Mako-kun, that's not Suzaku. That's a phoenix..." she explained, as if she were talking to a drug addict or a small child.
But he didn't seem to hear her. He sprinted around the room, looking at each sparkling thing in turn, like a child in a candy shop.
"Mako-kun, no! Those aren't toys!" Kumo reprimanded him, with the air of a stressed mother.
"But they're pretty! I wanna touch them!" he pouted.
The headmaster, however, seemed amused.
"Sit down, sit down."
Hoping to get a better look at Dumbledore's shiny hair, the boy of the group sat down as he was told, with a girl on either side of him.
"Can you explain how you got here?" he asked, giving the fifteen year old boy a kindly smile.
"We... fell." the star of the group said flatly.
"Fell?"
"We read then we fell!" the boy said, smiling as if proud he could form a sentence.
"What he means to say is that we were in the library, reading, then there was a big flash of red and gold light. The next thing we new, a class was staring at us. It was like something out of a dream." the most intelligent of the trio said.
"I put it good!" Yuuki insisted.
"Yes, dear, you did." Kusabi said soothingly, patting his hand like a mother and glaring at Yume.
"Mm hmm..." the old man said, thinking.
"Have you figured it out yet?" wondered Miharu.
"Yes, actually, I have. You are in a fanfic! Which one of you is the writer?"
"You... You're used to stuff like this?" Kumo said incredulously.
"We get it all the time!" he replied, smiling.
"None of us is a writer..." said Makoto.
"Very well. You can all be students. You'll be in Gryffindor. The three that escorted you are still outside. They'll take you to your common room to meet your Head of House. They're classes are just about over, anyway."
"How do you know we're magical?" said the comparative genius, an eyebrow raised.
"All fanfic writers are magical. Otherwise, they wouldn't be able to be here!"
"O... K..." the midlevel intelligence girl said, backing away slightly.
"Now, off you go!"
The idiot of the group led the way proudly.
After being introduced to the rest of their house, an a few days of classes, Kumo was Head Girl. Miharu was on the Quidditch team, and Makoto had managed to fail every subject, make an even worse mess than Neville in Potions, and get the rest of the year's worth of detentions from Snape. One day, while relaxing in the Common Room...
"Makoto's too stupid to be my boyfriend," Kumo announced all of a sudden, after trying to explain to him the sixteenth time that Unicorns are not made of ice cream.
Harry looked at her hopefully.
"You, on the other hand," she continued, eyeing him appraisingly. "Are intelligent. I say, Mako-kun, screw you. I give up. Care to go out with me sometime, Harry?"
"YES!"
"Yay! Mako-kun's all mine!" exclaimed Miharu, who, apparently, was rather shallow.
"I smell like chicken!" Makoto announced proudly.
"Lovely story!" Roxy said as she appeared, wiping her eye mockingly.
"I think Potter is a lot like his character," drawled Malfoy.
"Not as much as you are a girl," he replied.
"Oh, you two are so cute together!" the author squealed.
Only halfway under her control, they shrugged. With a bit of... 'guidance,' they kissed, making the Frog Demon squeal again with her joy.
"So... Who's out?" Hermione asked uncertainly.
"You, Herm."
"Yay!"
The next round is the last one! Then the Omake, then the Conclusion!