The Harry and Ron Show- Or is it the Severus Snape one? by Miracle (with Elizabeth's help and Medea's comments.)
A/N: Don't y'all just hate me? I haven't written the next chapter
to the Admirers. No, instead, I have written this, a crazy fanfic that
has no real point and is probably a total waste of your time! And
the worst part is... you have to read it!!!!!!!!!! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!
*cackles evilly*
Erm...right then. That was weird.
Vimhaletta: You are weird, Miracle.
Me: True. Hey, where's Vimh?
Vimhaletta: Vacation.
Me: Oh, no. Not that again...
Anyway, I'm sorry to all of you who are waiting for he next part of The Admirers (there aren't many of you, are there?). I'm working hard!!!!!!!!! This fanfic is here to make up for lost time a bit. I wrote it at camp. OK, IT SUCKS!!!!!!! SO SUE ME!!!!!!!!!! No wait. Don't sue me. I like my money, or at least the $0.50 I have left. But this is pretty stupid. There is no real point as I said before. It kinda got written with the help of my friend, Elizabeth, after I lost and found my wallet (actually I didn't find it, but the nice camp counselor found it for me. In any rate I was elated). THANK YOU ELIZABETH!!!!!!!!!! She also sang me a song that I changed around a bit so that it fit the story better with my cousin, Medea (Not her real name), and Elizabeth's help. The original version is at the bottom. It's much more funny, but oh well. So what can I say? I'm no song writer. That is why I am NOT writing songs but fanfics. I know the title of this fic is so very original, but I liked it, so I used it. I know someone else probably used it so don't sue. The fic's very short, so don't tell me that.You know it only took me about a minute to write the original idea. Disclaimer at bottom. I know how much you all love to read them. Guess what. I find it just as amusing to write them, so don't kill me.
Flames accepted. I'll use them to teach the kids at school who bug me
a little lesson (just kidding). And the left over ones I'll cook s'mores
with. Oh, I can't type, so don't tell me that. I make so many typos. And
I probably spelled Professor wrong somwhere, so don't tell me that either.
Anyway, here it goes:
Harry: They found my wallet!The Harry and Ron Show!
Ron: That's a good thing.
Harry: They found my wallet!
Ron: That's a good thing.
Harry: They found my wallet!
Ron: That's a good thing.
Harry: They found my wallet!
Ron: That's a good thing.
Harry: They found my wallet!
Ron: That's a good thing.
Director: Cut! *walks onto set while shaking head* No, no, no, Harry! You have to use more emotion! And you too, Ron! Like this: *acts as if he's saying something like "Jane, Jack is-is-he's dead! He's dead, Jane he's dead!" And moves his fists back and forth slowly* They found my wallet! And you, Ron. Say it like this! *acts as if he's saying "I know Betsy, I know! Jacks dead and it's all our fault!!!"* That's a good thing! *starts to act like he's crying* *stops acting-if you could call it acting* Like that, OK?
Harry: OK.
Ron: OK.
Director: Good. *walks back off set* OK, lights, camera, action!
Harry: They found my wallet!
Ron: That's a good thing.
Harry: They found my wallet!
Ron: That's a good thing.
Harry: They found my wallet!
Ron: That's a good thing.
Harry: They found my wallet!
Ron: That's a good thing.
Harry: They found my wallet!
Ron: That's a good thing.
Director: Cut! Good job! Coffee break!!
*15 minutes later*
Director: OK, in your places! Lights, camera, action!
Harry: They found my wallet!
Ron: That's a good thing.
Harry: They found my wallet!
Ron: That's a good thing.
Harry: They found my wallet!
Ron: That's a g-
*Severus Snape walks in*
Snape: Potter! What do you think you're doing?
Potter- I mean, Harry:Making the next episode of my show.
Ron: Your show? Your show! What do you mean, "your show"?
Harry: Sorry. I was helping to make the next episode of our show.
Ron: Thank you!
Snape: You call this a show? You call this a show? You call this a SHOW? Get the heck out of here, Potter! You whackos couldn't make a show if your life depended on it!
Ron: How come you told Pot- I mean, Harry to get out and not me? I'm offended.
*Everybody stops to stare incredulously at Ron*
Ron: Never mind.
Harry: *turning back to Snape* Um... since when do you say "whackos," Professor?
Snape: Shut up, Potter!!!!!!!! Get out!!!!!! And you, too, Weasley!!!!!
Ron: Yay! He told me to get out! He told me to get out as well as telling Harry to get oout! Yay!!!!!!!!!
Snape: Weasley!!!!!!!!!
Ron: I'm out, I'm out!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
*Harry and Ron leave*
Director: Hey, you can't do that! You-
*Snape glares. Director decides to shut up*
*Later that day. Snape is alone.*
Snape: What's wrong with the word whackos? I like that word!
*We'll leave him there. The next day*
Snape: Well, I'm going to improve the show today. Can you believe those two morons? Repeating the same two lines all day? I'm not going to do anything like that. No, I wouldn't do anything close to that. I'm going to start the show off with a song.The Severus Snape Show!
*Groans around room. Snape doesn't notice*
Snape: *clears throat* Ahem. *Starts singing in a fake Swedish accent*
Malfoy: Actually, Professor, I was just wondering why you're wearing an orange suit with hot pink poka-dots.My name is Severus Snape
I live in a grape
I have an obsession with tape- and drapes!
When I walk down the halls
All the pupils I see they say,
"Hey, I hate your class!"
And I say, "Hey I hate you! Because,My name is Severus Snape
I live in a grape
I have an obsession with tape- and drapes!
When I walk down the halls
All the pupils I see they say,
"Hey, I hate your class!"
And I say, "Hey I hate you! Because,My name is Severus Snape
I live in a grape
I have an obsession with tape- and drapes!
When I walk down the halls
All the pupils I see they say,
"Hey, I hate your class!"
And I say, "Hey I hate you! Because,My name is Severus Snape
I live in a grape
I have an obsession with tape- and drapes!
When I walk down the halls
All the pupils I see they say,
"Hey, I hate your class!"
And I say, "Hey I hate you! Because,My name is Severus Snape
I live in a grape
I have an obsession with tape- and drapes!
When I walk down the halls
All the pupils I see they say,
"Hey, I hate your class!"
And I say, "Hey I hate you! Because,My name is Severus Snape
I live in a grape
I have an obsession with tape- and drapes!
When I walk down the halls
All the pupils I see they say,
"Hey, I hate your class!"
And I say, "Hey I hate you! Because,*A/N: Read this verse. It's different. Believe me.*
My name is Severus Snape
I live in a grape
I have an obsession with tape- and drapes!
When I walk down the halls
All the pupils I see they say,
"Hey, I hate your class!"
And I say, "Detention! No bloody Gryffindor, Ravenclaw, or Hufflepuff will hate potions! And I know you're not a Slytherin because you're insulting me! And I'm never insulted by Slytherins!"
Snape: *Turning a darker shade than his suit-if he can that is. He's a bit too pale for that...* Detention, Malfoy! Be quiet!
Malfoy: But-
Snape: Silence!
Malfoy: My father-
Snape: Yadda, yadda, yadda. Don't "your father" me, boy. You're 15 and you're still running to your Mommy- or in this case Daddy. And what about your two bodyguards. You can't even fight your own fights. Don't say that I'm the one who has problems.
*Malfoy's face is scrunched up and he resembles a prune, except he's more pinkish than purple*
*Somewhere else, Voldemort, Harry, Ron, Hermione, McGonagall, Dumbledore, and a bunch of death eaters are watching the show*
Voldemort: *laughing head off* Could you pass the popcorn, Albus?
Dumbledore: Sure, here. *hands bowl over Harry, Ron, and Hermione's heads*
Harry: Oooh! Ouch, insulted by your favorite teacher. That's gotta hurt.
Hermione: Come on, Malfoy! Ya gotta get back at him on that one!
Crabbe: Hermione?
Hermione: *blushes* What? Can I not enjoy a good show, for once?
Ron: No.
Hermione: *glares*
McGonagall: Nice one, Malfoy! Woohoo!
Dumbledore: What? What happened?
McGonagall: He called Severus a *whispers into Dumbledore's ear. It's obviously too foul for the children to hear, and besides, I have no idea what Malfoy could have said*
Dumbledore: *Eyes grow wide as he hears what Malfoy said* Oh! That's gonna cost him. Can I have the popcorn?
*Voldemort passes it to him*
*Miracle enters*
Miracle: What is going on in here? Agh!!!!!!!!!!! Did I just see Voldemort and Dumbledore share the same bowl of popcorn? Harry, why are you sitting on the same couch as Voldemort. No wait. Why are you in the same room as Voldemort. Why-
*On the TV screen*
Malfoy: At least I'm not a screwed up git!
Miracle: Oooh! *grabs some popcorn and sits down* Go Malfoy! Nice one!
*Everyone watches show. In the meanwhile,Wormtail is caught, found guilty and punished and Sirius is excused. Everyone couldn't care less*
Sirius: Harry! I'm free! I was proved innocent! Isn't that wonderful? Harry? Harry? *Realises what Miracle did* Hey, Harry? What are you doing? *Looks at TV screen. Malfoy and Snape have started to fight. Physically.*
Sirius: Oooh! Ouch! That'll hurt in the morning. *joins others*
*And so, everyone watched the Severus Snape Show, and liked it much more than the Harry and Ron Show. The moral of the story is: Slytherins are much more interesting to watch than Gryffindors. Of course it could also be a number of other things like "Don't wear orange suits with hot pink poka-dots," or "Don't insult your teacher," or "Don't sing stupid songs," or "Don't lose your wallet else you write stupid fics like this," but I'm too busy to sit down and figure it out. Just know that there is a moral to the story, whatever it is. Now, I've go to go. Malfoy just slugged Snape and- ooh! That's gonna hurt real bad! Gotta go. Bye!*
End.
________________________________________________________________________________________________
A/N: Um.. yeah. That was a bit disturbing. Ya know, I kinda just added the whole part with Malfoy. It was originally supposed to end with a fade out of Snape singing, but that part at the end kinda just came up and I had to add it. It was longer han I thought, though it's still pretty stupid and comparitively short. Anyway, to all of you who might think differently, I really do like the HP characters -including Snape- but I just enjoy making them do weird, unexpected things, like have someone randomly jump off a cliff for no obvious reason, wearing a tutu and yelling "Cheetos!!!!!!!" at the top of their lungs. Except for Voldemort. I don't like Voldemort. As weird as you may think I am for respecting Snape, know I'm not pure evil, OK? I enoy making Voldemort do insane because, well, because he's Voldemort. Enough said. Anyway here's the original song, as promised:
OK, so the name is different but I don't know how to spell the original name. And it does end differently at the end of the seventh time you sing it, but I forgot how you end it. Maybe Elizabeth can tell me. Anyway, here's my disclaimer. Go review!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Have fun!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! =) =P ; ) : ) I love faces. This one's my personal fave:My name is John Johnson
I live in Wisconsin
I work at the lumberyard there
When I walk down the street,
all the people I meet, they say,
"Hey, who the heck are you?"
And I tell them,Repeat seven times or until one goes insane from repetition