Disclaimer: The Brotherhood is not mine. The X-men are not mine. Nothing but this idea is mine so don't sue! Okay? Good. Since everyone wanted the Brotherhood returning to the X-men mansion, here we go again!
It was a typical school day. Lance, Pietro and Fred were hanging out in the boys' bathroom, cutting class. Lance was flicking cards into a trashcan. Pietro was fixing his hair for the millionth time. Fred was playing with his trusty paddleball.
"Pietro how much longer are you gonna be at that mirror?" Lance asked.
"Cool your jets Lance," Pietro replied. "Perfection takes time."
"I swear I never met anyone so in love with himself," Lance groaned as he watched Pietro pose for the mirror.
"I can't think of anyone else more worthy!" He gave a final flick of his comb. "And done! Yes! I make this group look so good! You guys are so lucky to hang around me. I am after all the best of the best. Super speed, star athlete, honor student…"
"Honor student?" Fred asked. "You?"
Todd hopped inside. "Yeah Fred, he's an honor student all right. 'Yes your Honor, No your Honor, How ya doin' your Honor? Nice tie your honor!'"
Pietro fumed as both Fred and Lance snickered. "Look who's talking," he pointed a finger at his crouching friend. "The Prince of the Pick Pockets. The Not-So-Artful Dodger of Mutants! 'Oh gee Duncan how did your wallet get in my backpack?'"
"Well just for that, I won't tell you what I found out. And it's real good too!" Todd stuck out his tongue. "It's about those X-Geeks and how…No I think not…"
"What?" Lance asked.
"No no, I don't think so," Todd turned his back and shook his head with a smirk. Then Fred picked him up by the shirt.
"Spill it Toad!" Lance ordered getting into his face.
"Well since you asked so nicely," Todd said. "The X-Geeks are going out for the day. I was hanging around the office for uh…no reason, and I saw the Weather Witch pick up the whole gang of theirs. Seems they're off to another mountain retreat for the weekend for more training. And get this, that Wolverine guy is going too as well as the Professor. Seems ol' Wolvie is gonna personally finish their survival training himself, being it got interrupted the last time."
"So?" asked Fred.
"So that means there's nobody at the mansion," replied Todd.
"No X-Geeks?" said Lance. "Good work Toad. I'm sure we can put this information to good use. Can't we gentlemen?"
"Oh yeah," Fred nodded.
"I got an idea!" Pietro smirked. "C'mere…I got a plan."
An hour later the Brotherhood was hiding in the woods near the mansion gates. "I can't believe Mystique let us out of school this early!" Lance said.
"I explained the situation to her," Pietro said. "She didn't seem to mind us cutting school today anyway. She was kinda distracted. She was taking some pills and mumbling something about finding a good psychiatrist."
"Okay I got the outfits," Lance started opening a duffel bag. "Pietro, you know what to do. Disable their security system so we can get in."
"Leave it to me," Pietro smiled and took off.
"Okay guys," Lance smiled. "Let's rock!"
He heard Fred and Todd groan. "What?" Lance asked.
"Do you always have to say that?" said Todd. "I mean these rock puns of yours are getting kinda old."
"Yeah, no offense buddy but you are getting kind of predictable," said Fred.
"Guys, I make earthquakes! That's my power!" Lance replied getting a little testy. "That's my catchphrase okay?"
"Yeah, well you ought to think of getting a new one," said Todd.
"New what?" asked Pietro who zipped next to Fred.
"New catchphrase," Fred explained. "Lance used another rock pun."
"Oh yeah, he does need one of those," Pietro agreed. "They are lame."
"Not you too!" Lance snapped. "For crying out loud…"
"Y'know Lance you should really work on it," said Pietro.
"For the last time, my power is making earthquakes!" Lance shouted in exasperation. "As in shaking the ground. There are rocks in the ground. Hence the rock puns! What would you guys like me to say? 'Let's make them fall down and go boom?' I am sorry my powers aren't as varied as yours but there you are! Now suit up and let's…go."
The others shook their heads as Lance stormed off into the woods to change. "Boy does he need help," Pietro sighed.
"Maybe I can give him a hand," said Fred.
"You do that," said Todd.
"Come on, let's suit up and get ready for our mission," said Pietro. "We got important stuff to do!"
"Yeah," Todd made a fist and gently punched his hand. "I know just what I'm gonna do when we get in. Heh. Heh."
Ten minutes later…
"GERONIMO!" Todd shouted as he dove into the pool.
"Ahhhh" Pietro sighed as he sunned himself on a beach chair. "This is the life."
"You said it Pietro," Lance said sipping cold lemonade on the chair next to him. Both boys were wearing bathing suits, Hawaiian shirts and sunglasses. "This beats gym any day!"
"Nothin' to do but chill out and enjoy the day," Pietro sighed as he turned on a nearby radio. "Oh yes. Life is good."
"Hey guys! Did you see me dive? Did ya? Huh? Huh?" Todd waved wildly from the water.
"Yeah Toad, we saw you," Lance said, with his eyes closed.
"Watch me! I'm gonna dive again! I'm gonna dive again!" Todd shouted excitedly.
"Fine Toad, you do that," said Pietro while sipping his lemonade.
"Pietro, a toast," Lance raised his glass. Pietro did the same. "To the X-Geeks. May they have a nice long weekend. Far away from here. Training while we party!"
"I'll drink to that!" Pietro clinked his glass with Lance's before taking another sip.
SPLASH!
"Did you see that? Did you see that?"
"Yeah Toad we saw it," Pietro said. "Now why don't you try and see how long you can stay underwater, huh?"
"Hey Freddy did you see what I did? Huh? Freddy?" Todd asked looking around. "Freddy?"
That was when they all noticed mild shaking of the ground. Todd's eyes went wide open as he saw a large shadow loom over the pool.
"CANNONBALL!" Fred shouted as he dived in the pool. Unfortunately not only did he get everyone drenched, his action emptied out more than half the water in the pool. Not to mention it sent Todd into a nearby tree.
"Uhhhh…" Fred said as he sat there looking at the cracks in the pool. "Maybe I shouldn't have done that."
"You think?" Pietro snapped. He stood up and shook himself at super speed in order to dry off.
"Hey watch it!" Lance protested, getting drenched a second time. He got up and walked over to another chair where he put the towels, only to find them wet as well. Then he found himself soaked again. Todd had hopped down from the tree and shook to dry himself as well. Lance glared at Todd who shrank back.
"Ugh…Wet Toad smell," Lance groaned.
"Sorry," Todd apologized.
"Look," Lance sighed. "Why don't you two go play while Freddy and I have a little talk and fix things up around here."
"C'mon Toad," Pietro chirped. "I'm sure we'll find lots of ways to amuse ourselves until Freddy gets the pool fixed up again."
"We can look around the mansion," Todd suggested following Pietro.
"Ah great minds think alike!" Pietro laughed as he playfully slapped Todd on the back. "But let's stay out of the Danger Room this time, okay?"
"So whose room you wanna look in first?" Todd asked as they went upstairs to the bedrooms.
"Hmmm. Such a difficult choice," Pietro pondered. "I mean, there's Daniel's, the girls, Oh and the good Professor's. What to do? What to do? I've got it. Eenie. Meenie. Miney. Moe. Stomp on an X-Jerk's toe. If they scream let him go. Eenie. Meenie. Miney. Moe. My Mother said that you are O-U-T out. One two three four…"
"Oh let's just start with this one and work our way down!" Todd said exasperated and opened the nearest door and went in.
"That'll work," Pietro shrugged and followed him.
"Whoa. Look at this place. It's bigger than the living room!" Todd looked around. "Snazzy! Wonder who's this is?"
"Well, judging by the personal items around the room, its elementary my dear Watson," Pietro started looking through the desk. "Based on the blue fur in this hair brush, the pile of techno CD's and the used Burger Barn wrappings in the wastebasket, I'd say it was the fur ball's. That and this picture here!"
"Huh," Todd sniffed looking at the picture. "Blue Boy as a baby. Ugh. Could he look any dorkier?"
"You know Toad, maybe we shouldn't be in here," Pietro said. "Maybe we should just walk away and respect their things."
They both looked at each other a full ten seconds before erupting into peals of laughter. "Good one Pietro!" Todd laughed. "Where do you come up with this stuff?"
"It's a gift."
"You know Quickie, I think this room could use some redecorating. What do you think?"
"Oh yes, Toad. Definitely. But not just this room. The entire wing could use some sprucing up."
"Well we'd better get to work then shall we?"
"Oh yes," Pietro nodded matching his smile with Todd's. "Right away. But first we need some supplies. We'll need markers, paint, toilet paper, cherry bombs, and of course your patented slime."
"Never leave home without it!" Todd laughed as the two of them raced off to cause some havoc.
Meanwhile, Fred and Lance had given up on the pool due to the extensive damage. So Lance decided to start the grill and have an impromptu cookout. Fred was carrying armloads of food out from the kitchen.
"How about 'We will Rock you?'" Lance asked.
"Again with the rock puns?" Fred groaned. "It's been done Lance. Correction, it's been overdone!"
"Okay, okay! How about this? 'Here comes the earthquake!' Aw man, even I know that one's lame!"
"Don't get frustrated Lance, these things take time! Hey I think I got all the food out!"
"Good. Now let's cook this up and party!"
"Hey that's it!"
"What?"
"Let's party! It's pretty cool! You should try that one!"
"You think so?"
"Yeah. Give it a try."
"Let's party!" Lance said dangerously. "Hey, you're right Freddy. That does sound better. I'll have to try that one sometime."
At that moment they heard the sound of something breaking and hysterical laugher. "Wonder what they're doing up there?" Fred asked.
"Nothing good," said Lance. "You grill the burgers and stuff. I'll go check on them. See that they don't do too much damage. Or maybe help them do some damage. It depends on my mood." He shrugged and went inside.
As Lance went upstairs he saw the two boys' handiwork. Toilet paper was the main theme. Doodles and slime on the walls. Lance shrugged and found a spray paint can lying around, picked it up, shook it and started doodling the halls with his specially patented squiggles. He saw Todd painting a moustache and beard on a painting in the hallway. Pietro was zipping around on some kind of wheelchair. He guessed that Pietro had found one of Xavier's wheelchairs and had souped it up so that it would go faster.
Lance went up to Todd. "What'd ya think?" Todd asked as Lance inspected his creation.
"Oh monsieur Toad that ees manifique!" Lance praised using a French accent. "Zee colors, zee lines!" He made a kissing sound and waved his hand. "Perfection as always."
"Ah monsieur I am so glad you like eet," Todd played along with his own mangled French accent. "I was how you say, inspired by zee impressionists. I call it Baldy at Sunrise!"
"Hey guys I can't stop this!" Pietro yelled as he zoomed by. Lance and Todd ignored him.
"Is genius!" Lance said, still playing.
"Zank you!" Todd replied.
"Guys! Help!"
"Theese should be hung in the Lourve."
"The what?"
"A fancy museum."
"Oh."
"Guys! Lance stop this crazy thing! Aggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhh!"
Todd jumped in Lance's arms to avoid being hit by Pietro who promptly crashed into someone's bedroom very loudly. Lance glared at Todd. Todd weakly smiled and got off him.
"Wow!" Pietro wobbled out of the bedroom. "What a ride."
"C'mon guys let's go see if Freddy's finished cooking before he eats it all," Lance suggested.
"Okay soup's on!" Fred shouted. He was now wearing a T-shirt with his bathing suit, a chef's hat and an apron that was too small for him.
"I thought we were having burgers and hot dogs?" Todd asked. Pietro gave him a light punch on the shoulder. "Hey!"
They sat down and began to eat ravenously. "Man this has been the best day off ever!" Todd said between mouthfuls.
"True Toad, and I'd like to say a few words," Lance smiled.
"Speech! Speech!" The rest of the Brotherhood shouted as Lance stood up.
"Brothers. I'd like to officially thank each and every one of you for attending the first annual Brotherhood of Mutants Skip Day," Lance said proudly. "Each of you has contributed in your own special way to make this a memorable day for us and a big headache for the X-Geeks when they return."
"It's gonna be even more memorable! Look what I found," Todd held up a book. "Jean's diary."
"Oh yeah!" Pietro rubbed his hands together. "Well read it!"
"I'd already outlined a few choice passages," Todd said as Pietro grabbed the book from him.
"Didn't you find Pryde's?" Lance asked a bit disappointed.
"Yeah but I couldn't read hers. She has even worse handwriting than I do! Hey Pietro, do the voice when you read, huh? Do the voice."
"Gladly," Pietro nodded, complying with Todd's wishes. " 'September 2nd. Another perfect day in a perfect town.' Oh brother. 'As I was sitting in my room brushing my perfect hair, I couldn't help thinking about my life and how it has brought me such wondrous joys.' Oh give me a break!"
"Keep going it gets better," Todd prodded him. "Skip down to that paragraph"
"I can't help my feelings for Duncan. I know he acts like a jerk sometimes, but I believe deep down that he is really a scared little boy on the inside."
"Yeah I know what he's scared of. The bullying thug on the outside!" said Todd.
"And yet, something draws me to Scott. I don't know what it is. He has such a lonely smile. He's strong and vulnerable at the same time. What mysterious force draws me to him?"
"It's the sunglasses," Lance quipped. "Chicks dig sunglasses. Hey does it say anything about any of us? I'll bet it has a lot about Freddy."
"Oh no, please no…" Freddy moaned, hiding behind his hands. "I don't wanna hear about it! You guys are never gonna let me live that down are you?"
"Trust me Fred, you don't wanna know what she wrote about you," Pietro said. "Although I never expected Red to use that kind of language! Whoa! Where'd she pick that up?"
"Flip the page and read this!" Todd pointed out. "You think that's bad? Lookit that!"
"I can't believe I am having these sort of feelings for him," Pietro read. "I know it's totally wrong. But I can't stop these dreams I am having. Who could have ever guessed that I could be attracted to…oh boy…"
"Who?" Lance asked. "Me?"
"Nope," Todd shook his head.
"Who?" Fred asked.
"Mr. Logan…" Pietro stammered.
"Oh no way!" Lance shouted in disbelief.
"Way!" Todd nodded.
"Lemmie see that!" Fred grabbed the diary and scanned it. "Okay it's official. I am so over her! Especially after reading…oh man this dream."
"Hey man, give that back! I wanna read more!" Pietro reached for the book. Lance and Todd grabbed it and began yanking on it at the same time. All four of them began a tug of war shouting over the diary.
"Hey! Back off man!"
"Gimmie that!"
"Hand it over Blob!"
"Mine! I wanna read! I wanna read!"
"Let go you jerks!"
"Back off!"
"You back off!"
"There they are!"
The boys almost instantly dropped the diary to the ground at the sound of the all too familiar voice. They turned around and saw a very angry Scott, Jean, Rogue and Kitty glaring at them.
"WHAT DO YOU GUYS THINK YOU ARE DOING HERE?" Scott shouted.
The Brotherhood was at a loss for a second. Then Pietro spoke up, "The mambo! What else? Everybody dance!"
Pietro switched on the music and grabbed Kitty. "May I have this dance?" he smiled and whisked her around and around. Lance shrugged and grabbed Jean and did the same. Rogue growled at Fred and Todd. Both of them shrank back, looked at each other and shrugged. Fred then picked up Todd and whirled him around. Todd just went with the flow, his feet dangling above ground.
Kitty snapped and phased out of Pietro's grasp. Scott fumed and stormed over to Lance. "Let her go Alvers!"
"Okay! Everybody change partners!" Lance shouted and grabbed Scott.
"Hey guys the mansion's trashed! What the…?" Evan said as he and Kurt ran outside to the insane scene.
Pietro grabbed Evan and started to whirl around with him. "Why Evan you dance divinely!"
"Change partners!" Fred shouted as he spun Todd into Jean's grasp and whisked away Kitty, who almost instantly phased through him. So Fred grabbed Kurt instead.
"Let me go you lunatic!" Scott shouted.
"I can't! I think I'm falling in love with you," Lance snipped sarcastically.
"Maximoff let go of me you nutcase before I turn you into a pincushion!"
"Hey Daniels anyone ever tell you you're cute when you're mad! Ha! Ha! Ouch! Hey!"
"GET HIM OFF! GET HIM OFF!" Jean screamed, frantically trying to pull away from Todd, who was hugging her tightly.
"I like you," Todd giggled.
"And one two three, one two three…" Fred said whirling Kurt around.
"HELP!" Kurt cried. "Before he two-steps me to death!"
"Okay new partner!" Pietro grabbed someone's hand without looking. "Hell-llo…Uh oh…"
SNIKT!
At that sound everyone stopped dancing. They looked to see a very annoyed Wolverine holding Pietro by the shirt with one hand and having his trademark claws in the other.
"Okay guys, party's over!" Pietro yelped. "Run!"
Pietro broke out of Wolverine's grasp and ran off using his super speed. The rest of the Brotherhood was far behind him.
"Hey Quickie wait for us!"
"Yeouch!"
"Run!"
Some time later the Brotherhood managed to find their way home. "Oh man, that was a blast!" Lance collapsed on the couch.
"Yeah but I could do without the running and stuff!" Fred grumbled as he rubbed his sore back. "Aw man! Ouch!"
Fred winced as he pulled a spike from his behind. "I hate it when that happens," He growled, rubbing his sore spot.
Mystique came into the room with her arms folded. "So where's Cerebro?" she asked.
"What?" Todd asked. They all looked at Pietro.
"Aw man, I knew there was something I forgot tell you guys!" Pietro slapped his head.
"You….idiots!" Mystique fumed as she began to walk towards them menacingly.
"Uh oh, here we go again!" Todd shouted as they started to run away for the second time that day.
"When I get my hands on you fools you will wish that you were never born!" Mystique shouted. "Not to mention you all have detention for a month! Do you hear me? Come back here you losers!"