CH 1

Sirius Black:well today on the show our topic is secret crushes that will be revealed. Our first guest today is James Potter he wants to admit a crush to Lily Evans. So James are you ready.

James: what are you doing here Sirius I thought this was the Jenny Jones show.

Sirius: it was but I took over and it's my show now. Okay everyone here is Lily. Lily walked in and sat down Lily James has something to say to you listen up.

James: well Lily I just wanted to say that I really like you and have had a crush on you for so long.

Lily: I've liked you too but one question.

James: yea

Lily: why is Sirius hosting this show.

James: he took over it.

Lily: oh well were a couple now.

James: well good. he said as they kissed.

Sirius: our next guess says that he's the one for Lily and James needs to f*** off. So let's bring out the slimy git Snape. Snape came out to loud boo's "So Snape whats the problem."

Snape: well I think that James cant satisfy Lily and I can so heres what I have to say. Snape said as he got up so did James and he got in his face. "you need to get another f***ing girl Potter because she is mine I'll kick your a** any day if you try.

Sirius: Hold up. Sirius said as he walked over to Snape. " who do you think you are insulting my friend Lily don't need no mother f***ing b**** like you with her cant you f***ing tell she's with James I think you should take your-

Manager of place: Sirius what the hell are you doing. he said as he cut him off 'you are the host dumba** now get your a** back over there and host the show."

Sirius; sorry, he said as he walked away ' well anyway have anything to say James.

James: yah Snape you better shut your mother f***ing a** up Lily is mine and would never want to be with a greasy slime ball of a Slytherin like you. he said as they jumped each other and started fighting. James was winning until Snape took out his wand and hit James. Then Sirius went to the stage and jumped Snape. They started to fight on the floor

Sirius; thats what you get. Sirius said this in between punches. You (punch) mother f***ing (punch) a**hole (punch) gotta use a wand ha (punch) cant fight realy (punch) well it's time to learn he said as the manager came and yelled at him.

Manager: Sirius get your a** back there one more thing and were bringing Jenny back and you will go got it.

Sirius: yea. he said as he got up and left. While a bloody Snape took a seat. "so Lily not that I need to ask cause I know but the audience doesn't what you'll say but does Snape interest you in anyway.

Lily: hell no like you guys said he a slimy git. Snape you think that after 6 years of calling me names and tormenting us I would like him of course not.

Sirius: thank you now a word from the audience.

Audience member: well this is for Lily, I think maybe Snape likes you cause you probably have been having some kind of affair with him or you probably just sleep around.

Sirius; Oh no you did'nt! Sirius said in rage. " I cant believe you just said that you little B****". he said as he grabbed his wand and said something and she disappeared everyone gasped. Manager walks out

Manager: don't worry people special effect she was apart of the cast okay we will be back in a minute come here Sirius. he said
They walked backstage and the manager started yelling.
WHAT THE F*** IS YOUR PROBLEM THEIR MUGGLES YOU CAN'T DO THAT HERE YOU ARE FIRED LEAVE NOW.

Sirius: fine nice working here. he said as he left the building ." maybe I'll take over Queen Latifa or Jerry springer or Maury aapovege.

Back on the set the manager was talking.

Manager: okay shows over everybody leave now. so everybody got up and left.