Since Ivy has no place to stay she is still living with Sam. She is watching TV as Sam enters.
"Oh honey thank God you're home, I was getting worried." She says deadpan.
"You know, you've done a lot of stupid stuff too! Okay?" He snaps.
"Oh, name one thing that is as stupid as this one!"
"Okay, how about you never told me that Ethan was my son!"
"Hey! Wait a minute! That was different!"
"Yeah! Right!" He says sarcastically.
There is an awkward silence.
"Okay Sam, umm, I uh, I kinda have a little confession." She says.
"What?"
"Well, this whole marriage thing, kinda my idea." Ivy explains.
"Excuse me?"
"Well, remember how we were too drunk to remember anything the night we were married?" She asks.
"Yeah?"
"And uh, yeah, I didn't really, I didn't want to say anything, but it kinda, it just, it kinda kept coming back to me, and umm, remember we were in the casino and for some reason thought it would be funny to eat a lot of grapes." She chuckles, "And uh, and I thought it would be funnier if we got married. So as a, as a compromise we decided first to get married, and then," Sam joins in, "To eat a lot of grapes. So umm, sorry I got us into this mess."
"So then if-if-I mean if you think about it, this is all..." He pauses, "...Your fault."
"Yeah, don't push it though."
"I've got to say, I never thought I would be divorcing you."
"I know. I always thought if you and I got married, it would be the one that stuck. And it wouldn't be a secret, and we wouldn't have our wedding dinner at Pizza Hut." Ivy laughs and Sam joins in.
"Did I, did I even treat?" He asks.
"No, it was on the house, it was, it was a newlywed special." She explains.
"That may be the most depressing thing I've heard in my life. I should probably go to my lawyer's office and get divorce papers." He says.
"Hey, thanks Sam, for taking care of all of this."
"Eh, no problem."
They hug and Sam smells Ivy's hair.
~*~
"Oh honey thank God you're home, I was getting worried." She says deadpan.
"You know, you've done a lot of stupid stuff too! Okay?" He snaps.
"Oh, name one thing that is as stupid as this one!"
"Okay, how about you never told me that Ethan was my son!"
"Hey! Wait a minute! That was different!"
"Yeah! Right!" He says sarcastically.
There is an awkward silence.
"Okay Sam, umm, I uh, I kinda have a little confession." She says.
"What?"
"Well, this whole marriage thing, kinda my idea." Ivy explains.
"Excuse me?"
"Well, remember how we were too drunk to remember anything the night we were married?" She asks.
"Yeah?"
"And uh, yeah, I didn't really, I didn't want to say anything, but it kinda, it just, it kinda kept coming back to me, and umm, remember we were in the casino and for some reason thought it would be funny to eat a lot of grapes." She chuckles, "And uh, and I thought it would be funnier if we got married. So as a, as a compromise we decided first to get married, and then," Sam joins in, "To eat a lot of grapes. So umm, sorry I got us into this mess."
"So then if-if-I mean if you think about it, this is all..." He pauses, "...Your fault."
"Yeah, don't push it though."
"I've got to say, I never thought I would be divorcing you."
"I know. I always thought if you and I got married, it would be the one that stuck. And it wouldn't be a secret, and we wouldn't have our wedding dinner at Pizza Hut." Ivy laughs and Sam joins in.
"Did I, did I even treat?" He asks.
"No, it was on the house, it was, it was a newlywed special." She explains.
"That may be the most depressing thing I've heard in my life. I should probably go to my lawyer's office and get divorce papers." He says.
"Hey, thanks Sam, for taking care of all of this."
"Eh, no problem."
They hug and Sam smells Ivy's hair.
~*~