Diane - Isabel
One minute.
I know one should not want to look into the mind of someone. Especially not the
one of you own daughter. Such unspoken thoughts should remain privat.
But still.
There are these days that I look at you and would like to know what you are thinking.
Not as many days as I want with Max. But there are some.
You were always different than Max closer to us. More trusting. So much more willing
to be part of that family that Max. You came into this house and it was your home. From
the first day on.
And a long time that was the was it was.
Our family.
Me, Phillip, you..and even Max who slowly but with each day more became closer to us too.
Yet it all changed almost two years ago.
Max returned to his quiet self.
And what was worse...you too.
I mean I know that you are teenager now and that splitting from their family while growing
up is something that every teenage does.
Only I have the feeling that it wasn't that easy.
I hear you whisper in you room with him when you think you are alone. Intense whisper
that held fear almost.....sounded almost too grownup for kids your age.
And what was even worse.
After you came too me so many times when you were young. After you always talked with
me when you were at a dead-end of knowing what to do. After you always trusted me. Now
you shut me out.
I am so afraid for the both of you.
It started out slow. But then those camping trips began. An expression that I had learned to
fear. After the one where Max didn't come home for three days. And when he did looked like
he had been through hell. And you didn't look much better.
You didn't leave his side for the next few days. And he looked like he wasn't even there. As
if he was in another world altogether. Only reaching the rest of us when I or Phillip talked to
him. But with you it were different. When you talked with him I knew that you knew what happened.
It pained me.
Because I knew that whatever happened had not be a Camping trip.
It pained me that neither of you trusted me enough to tell.
I was used too is from Max but not from you.
There are days that I can see it in your eyes. When you look at me with something that
might almost be guilt. As if you want to tell me something.
But something is stopping you.
Something.....or from the way Max looks at you.
Someone.
If I had one Minute of you mind I would like to see just this one thing.
What you want to tell me but can't.
Then you wouldn't have to break your obvious promise to Max and I would finally be able to help you.
Both of you.
After all I am your mother.
One minute.
I know one should not want to look into the mind of someone. Especially not the
one of you own daughter. Such unspoken thoughts should remain privat.
But still.
There are these days that I look at you and would like to know what you are thinking.
Not as many days as I want with Max. But there are some.
You were always different than Max closer to us. More trusting. So much more willing
to be part of that family that Max. You came into this house and it was your home. From
the first day on.
And a long time that was the was it was.
Our family.
Me, Phillip, you..and even Max who slowly but with each day more became closer to us too.
Yet it all changed almost two years ago.
Max returned to his quiet self.
And what was worse...you too.
I mean I know that you are teenager now and that splitting from their family while growing
up is something that every teenage does.
Only I have the feeling that it wasn't that easy.
I hear you whisper in you room with him when you think you are alone. Intense whisper
that held fear almost.....sounded almost too grownup for kids your age.
And what was even worse.
After you came too me so many times when you were young. After you always talked with
me when you were at a dead-end of knowing what to do. After you always trusted me. Now
you shut me out.
I am so afraid for the both of you.
It started out slow. But then those camping trips began. An expression that I had learned to
fear. After the one where Max didn't come home for three days. And when he did looked like
he had been through hell. And you didn't look much better.
You didn't leave his side for the next few days. And he looked like he wasn't even there. As
if he was in another world altogether. Only reaching the rest of us when I or Phillip talked to
him. But with you it were different. When you talked with him I knew that you knew what happened.
It pained me.
Because I knew that whatever happened had not be a Camping trip.
It pained me that neither of you trusted me enough to tell.
I was used too is from Max but not from you.
There are days that I can see it in your eyes. When you look at me with something that
might almost be guilt. As if you want to tell me something.
But something is stopping you.
Something.....or from the way Max looks at you.
Someone.
If I had one Minute of you mind I would like to see just this one thing.
What you want to tell me but can't.
Then you wouldn't have to break your obvious promise to Max and I would finally be able to help you.
Both of you.
After all I am your mother.