Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters.
Author's Note: Everybody, go read Kristina's Jinter story called Feeling Normal at http://ccer.topcities.com. It'll definitely be worth your time. But reading my story is good, too, for me, at least… Please read and review.
Chapter 6
"Deb!" Carter gasped, waking up from his torrent dream.
He had been sweating furiously, his pillows and sheets all soaked. Breathing harshly, he stared blindly at the Renoir print he had hung across from his bed. The colors were all a blur. He shook his head and grabbed his clock. 2:57 it read in bright red. He looked out the window and saw the moon still hanging from its perch in the sky. Quickly, he reached for his phone, almost pulling the cord out of its socket. He punched in Deb's apartment number and held the receiver to his ear, hearing the phone ring, waiting for someone to pick up. Her machine did. "You have reached the residence of Jing-Mei Chen. If you would like to – " Carter hung up and picked it up again, hitting redial. Finally, after the second ring, a sleepy voice answered, "Yes?"
Carter didn't say anything. She was there in her apartment, safe and sound. Not in a morgue. Not crumpled in a street somewhere. Not…
"Hello, who is this?" he heard her say, annoyed.
Carter couldn't say anything. Then he heard in the background a sleepy deep male voice drawl, "Who is it, Jing? Who the hell's calling at three in the morning?" Deb's reply was muffled. She had probably put her hand over the speaker.
"Who the hell is this?" came her voice again – in the same tone she had used earlier today. "'Cause if you don't answer, I'm gonna hang up." The man in the background entreated, "Just hang up, Jing…" And with that, Carter heard an angry click and dead tone.
Carter hung up his receiver and sighed. He had just had this horrible nightmare after that horrible fight and while he was left to sulk in his own bed, she – that damned girl – had simply crawled into the arms of a man who could console her and let her cry on his shoulder. But she had every right. Carter could care less. After all, it was his own fault that he felt so strongly about the whole situation, that he felt so hurt after that fight. Well, she obviously had forgotten all about it…well, screw her! Why should he even care about her? Carter felt so embarrassed that he had, well, called when that man…ugh! That man's drawl annoyed him so…he felt like…he felt like… Why hadn't he, Carter, been sensible and kept his appointment with Abby? Why hadn't he kept it and told her how much he cared for her and how he, Carter was better suited for her than Kovac? Then maybe, just maybe, today, tonight, he, too, wouldn't have been so lonely. He felt back onto his pillow and stared blankly at the ceiling, trying to fall asleep again. But he couldn't…or rather he didn't want to. Images of that contorted, lifeless body flashed before him again. Better not to sleep, he murmured to himself. Sitting up, he just stared at the Renoir until the colors were all a blur once again.
Deb pressed a button on the coffee maker but nothing happened. No whirring sound. No boiling sound. She sighed. Ugh! A doctor and I still can't make a simple cup of coffee. Too bad she had an early shift this morning, otherwise, maybe Tommy could have made some for her. Thank God Tommy had stopped by last night. And when he saw her red-nosed and puffy-eyed, he hadn't hesitate to lend a shoulder…and a lot more… It had happened so quickly, like that time with Frank…she just hoped that she wouldn't get pregnant…she was on the pill after all…but one never knew… But then again, unlike Frank, Tommy Leung was someone her mom would love to make one of the family. Not only had Deb played with him as a child in Macao, but his father ha millions, or was it billions, to throw around. She hit the coffee maker again. Damn! She needed her coffee; she was so tired, especially after that night and it didn't help that some stupid caller had decided to wake her up at 3 in the morning. Coffee, coffee… She looked around the lounge, hoping someone had left a Starbucks Frapp around. No such luck. She needed her coffee…or was it that she just needed to forget, forget all the events of yesterday – the fight, Tommy… Suddenly, she heard the lounge door creak open, and she quickly turned to see Carter standing in the doorway. Obviously, God wanted her to remember… He saw her standing there and quickly, turned his head and backed ou of the room. Deb sucked in a big breath of air and mustering all her courage, ran to the door to stop him from leaving. "Carter?" she whispered.
He looked at her, only saying, "I thought you wanted me to leave you alone, Jing-Mei."
It was Jing-Mei. She sighed and took a big breath again. "Carter, I –"
"Shouldn't I just tell you to save it, Jing-Mei? I mean, that's the same courtesy you allowed me…me being such a horrible friend and all."
Deb swallowed hard. She knew she had to follow through with this. She had to say it, even if he chose not to listen. But it was true. She hadn't even given him a chance to explain yesterday; she had just shut him up and told him off. She had been the horrible friend. It was times like these that made Deb feel so inferior compared to Carter, times when it was blindingly apparent that he was the better person, even if he pretended to not be. Because no matter how he pretended, he would still let her speak and he would still listen. "Carter, you've been and you'll always be infinitely my superior. I had no right to accuse you of being a bad friend, because there's only one thing you've been this whole time – a perfect friend – ever since I came back. And I don't deserve a friend like you." She shuffled her feet nervously.
He still didn't look at her but his tone was lighter. "Jing-Mei, I just wish you'd tell me when you feel I'm neglecting you…I mean, then I would know I was being a bad –"
"But you were never a bad friend, Carter. It's just that with all these things rushing through my head – and all things I can't readily discuss or vent – I bottled them up and made myself miserable. Then I saw you and Abby, laughing and happy – and I couldn't help feeling terribly envious. I wanted to be the one laughing with you, and I completely forgot that I couldn't because I was keeping things from you and not you from me." She was chewing her bottom lip.
Carter chuckled lightly. "Terribly envious, eh? I didn't know I was such a hot commodity…"
"John…"
"And me infinitely superior to you? Wow, I like that one…"
"John…"
"Okay, okay…," he said, laughing, "I just think it's so funny, Deb, you calling me 'infinitely superior.' Wait, it is okay if I call you Deb, right?"
She nodded and felt hot tears brimming in her eyes. God, why was she crying?
"Oh, Deb, don't cry…" he embraced her and held her close. How did he always know exactly what she needed?
"I was just so worried you wouldn't accept my apology after I had been so terribly…terribly…"
"Right, but remember I am the better person…" He said, wiping her tears away with his finger. "You gonna be okay?" There was that goofy smile again.
"Thank you, Carter," she murmured.
"Deb?" he said, holding her again. "Can you tell me why you're leaving?"
"Another time maybe," she muttered into his shirt, then added, "and Carter, could you, uh, help me make some coffee?" She felt like such a baby.
Carter drew back from her, laughing. "Ms. Stanford Chief Res can't even make coffee. You think the Board will reconsider?"
"You tell them and I'll kill you," she replied, eyeing half-seriously.
"Ooooh," he said, grinning nefariously and tapping his fingers together, "Blackmail material…"
"Fine, fine. I'll pay you in chicken nuggets, 'kay?"
"How 'bout Big Macs?"
"Fine."
"You're on…" then he added, "But don't think this exonerates what you did yesterday."
"I know, I know, but you're the better person, remember? You'll just have to forgive me."
He chuckled and grabbed her, giving her a noogie. "We'd better get out there before Kerry fires us both…but then again, that doesn't matter for you, huh?"
"Course it does. Then I'll be just as bad as you."
Carter hit her playfully on the shoulder.
"Hey, I need my coffee!" But Carter had hit her again, and she stumbled out of the lounge, her laugh ringing along the corridor.