Body Short Ronin Funnies.

Raven Moonshadow

Talpa, the Warlords, and the Crappy Verizon Cellphone

(Talpa is in the thrown room and his warlords were hopefully out destroying the ronins. Talpa takes out a cellphone to tell his warlords to destroy the ronins faster. Scene changes to the battle. In the middle are the warlords gathered around the fallen ronins.)

Anubis: we have got you ronins and now our masters plans with all succeed. *Evil laughter*

Its a Small World plays and Cale wipes out the cellphone playing it

Cale: Yes master?

Talpa: I want you to defeat the ronins and hurry.

Cale: You want us to eat the phone and get bunnies? Are you sure sir?

In the back round Anubis, Dais, and Sekhmet: BUNNIES!!!!!!

Cale: Shush.

Talpa: No I want you to defeat the Ronins and hurry!

Cale: Yeah I heard you the first time. Eat the phone and get bunnies.

Talpa: No you numb nuts...

Cale: Get drunk?

Talpa: ARGE!!!

(Talpa hangs up)

Cale: Well that was strange. Anyway we are supposed to eat the phone, get bunnies, and then get drunk. How does that sound.

Walords: YEAH!!!!

Sekhmet: Wait a minuet who is going to eat the phone?

All: ...?

(Warlords walk away leaving a very confused group of ronins. They shrug, get up, and go home. In the distance we hear Ryo.)

Ryo: Maybe they should switch to sprint?

Ronins: .:nod:.

~

(Talpa is yet again sitting in the thrown room with the cellphone. He looks at cellphone in disgust)

Talpa: I am going to try this one more time. Damn verizon wireless. I shouldn't have to deal with this I am a big floating head thing trying to take over the world and possibly succeeding.

(Talpa dials Warlords new number, since the last cellphone they ate.)

Sekhmet: Now we have you and this time we will not fail.

Because I Got High starts to play and Dais wipes out their new cellphone

Dais: Hello?

Talpa: Are you done yet?

Dais: Torture Sekhmet?

Talpa: No dimwit are you done yet?

Dais: Give Sekhmet a stimulant?

Anubis injects Sekhmet with a stimulant.

Sekhmet: Owwies. a few seconds later Ohh look at all the pretty butterflies. runs around saying this while trying to catch the 'butterflies'

Talpa: You are all idiots.

Dais: You want us to get kittens? But we already got bunnies last week.

Talpa: I will see you later

Dais: You want a science teacher? But master you are good at everythig why do you need one?

Talpa: ...

Dais: I guess if you really want one we can send one over for you.

Talpa: hangs up

Dais: New plan warlords we are getting kittens, torturing Sekhmet, giving him lots of stimulants, and getting Talpa a sience teacher.

Warlords vanish. Ronins look less confused this time as they get up. Ryo looks at everyone. Sage stares at the castle hovering above.

Sage: You would think that Talpa would want to take over the sprint company instead of the world. I would be a lot more productive.

Rowen: Yeah but he is too stupid to think of that, even if he is a giant floating head.

Ronins: .:nod:.

Ronin and Warlord kittens

(Author is looking around for the Ronins and Warlords so they can star in her next fic Cye and the Magical Goldfish.)

Author/ Raven: Where the h*ll are the Ronins and Warlords?

Raven hears something and quickly turns to see a ball of blue fly around the corner

Raven: Ha there I found one. Looks and see a little blue kitten looking at her Awwwwwwwwwww!!!!! How cute!picks up ball of blue only to notice a scar that looks like a cross going across its left eye wait a minuet doesn't cale have a scar just like this kitten does? Looks closer to notice that its eyes are the same as Cales Oh My GOD! It is Cale! What the h*ll happened to him?!

Something lands on her head. Still holding Cale she reaches up with her other hand and pulls whatever it is out of her hair

Cale: Rrow *Yawn*

Raven: Looks at the little yellow kitten with violet eyes. One name came to mind SAGE!!!! Oh MY GOD he looks cuter as a kitten then as a human!

Little Sage kitten licks the tip of Ravens nose. Raven giggles and takes the two kittens over to the couch and sits down. The two kittens begin to playfully tackle eachother on her lap. She giggles and thinks of how cute they are.She closes her eyes and suddenly feels more furs around her. She opens them to see all of the Ronins and Warlords sitting around her looking at her. Suddenly they all get an evil look in their eyes. She widens her eyes in terror. Oh no what are they planning? Suddenly it hit her They are going to tackle me. She didn't have time to acted as they all pounced on her and began licking and nipping at her with their rough tongues and sharp little teeth. She started giggling uncontrollably. Soon the Room was filled with a bright light and she suddenly found herself under a pile of human Ronins and Warlords. She looked at them and they looked at her. They got off of her and blushed.

Raven: Aww damn. You aren't kittens any more. Raven pouts

Cye: You like us better as kittens then as humans? looks hurt

Raven: Naw as humans I can do more than just rub your tummies and listen to you purr. Gives Cye a seductive look

Cye: Blushes

Raven: hehehehehehehhehehe *Evil laughter*

~Owari

Next: Cye and the Magical Goldfish and Kento's pet rock.....