Author's Note: I dunno why I have to write an AN all the time. Heck, just don't pay any attention to me. Oh, now I remember. I want you all to know that I know nothing about Japan's ancient geography, so I have no idea if Omiya already existed as a name during the Meiji. All I know is that now, Tokyo and Omiya are very close. I was thinking of using Yokohama, but I don't know if it's close enough to Edo. If anyone out there can give me more accurate names and locations of the Meiji geography, it will be very much appreciated.

Standard disclaimers apply.

Heart of the Woman

Part III: Your Mission, Himura…

"I'd like to talk in the dojo, if you don't mind," Kamiya-sama said.

"Oro! But it's raining cats…"

All Kamiya-sama had to do was arch an eyebrow at me.

"As I was saying, I likes cats," I muttered. "At least let me get my jacket, if you'll allow…"

"Hurry it up. I haven't got much time."

Feh! If he didn't have much time, then he shouldn't have proposed going all the way to the dojo to talk. Are all ghosts so demanding? Tomoe certainly pushed her weight around, last time I recall.

I hurried to my room and brought out my jacket from my meager wardrobe.

I considered sneaking into Kaoru's room to get her parasol. Of course, fat chance of that happening with Kamiya-sama's eye on me.

When I was sufficiently attired, I hurried through the rain to get to the dojo. I didn't see Kamiya-sama anywhere as I made my way through the slush and puddles, but I had no doubt in my mind that he would be waiting for me in the training hall when I got there.

I arrived in the dojo drenched to the last strand of my hair. I looked like something the cat dragged in.

Another dratted pun. Thank goodness no one is hearing my thoughts.

"You're looking a bit under the weather," Kamiya-sama said with a smirk.

Just my luck Kaoru's father is a wise guy.

"You don't think that's funny?" He asked.

Oh, I'm sorry. Is that my cue to laugh?

Aha-har…ahaha-harmph…

He glared at me menacingly.

Kamiya Tetsuro: Father of the woman I love. Himura Kenshin: Baka boyfriend who would probably only find salvation in keeping his lips along the perimeter of the father's butt.

I threw back my head and laughed through my nose.

Kamiya-sama gave a derisive snort. "You can be such a wimp, Himura. It wasn't that funny. If you're going to do some ass-kissing, at least do it with style."

I ran my hand down my face in frustration and looked at him with stricken eyes. "Goodness…" I groaned, practically sobbing. "I beseech you, what do you want from this unworthy one?"

He paid no heed to my entreaty. "We'll get to that in a while," he said, beginning to circle me while he scrutinized me head to foot. "Let me just look at the monkey my daughter has decided to fall in love with."

I sighed and stood with my shoulders slumped, letting him give me the once over. Haven't I suffered enough humiliation in one night?

"Good stance. Hair may be a bit weird, but I imagine my daughter likes it. She was never conventional. You've got that idiotic look on your face, but I'm pretty sure that's just an act…"

Idiotic?

"Teeth, Himura." He suddenly said.

"P-Pardon me?" I asked, perplexed.

"You teeth. Show me your teeth."

I don't know how much more I can take this.

I bared my teeth for him and involuntarily let out a growl in the process.

He peered at them critically. "Say ah."

Oh, fer cripe's sake…! "Aaaaah…"

Kamiya-sama arched an eyebrow as he observed the nooks and crannies of my insides, then he nodded. "Good choppers you got there, Himura. You're of a good stock."

Why do I suddenly feel like a horse?

"You seem like a good man, Himura. Even if you were the great Hitokiri Battousai," he said.

I think…I began to sweat at that very moment.

"You saved a lot of lives in spite of yourself. Built this era for my little princess."

It couldn't possibly be this easy…

"How are you planning to support my princess after you marry?" He suddenly asked.

I knew it! I just knew it!

"Umm…this unworthy one has a job right now…"

"And you will keep this job?"

"Such jobs like it…"

Kamiya-sama shrugged. "Of course, I'd prefer you to have a more lucrative career, but hey, what can I do? I'm dead, ey?" He followed it up with a morbid laugh.

Why does he have to CREEP ME OUT all the time?

"Let's just get one thing straight," Kamiya-sama said, looking me directly in the eyes. "Like my daughter, I don't care about your past. I care about the present, and the future. If you hurt her, or neglect her, in any way, in any context, I'm going to make you wish you were never born, in the most horrible way you can imagine."

Gulp.

"Are we clear on that?" He asked, his stare bearing me down.

"C-Certainly…crystal, in fact," I replied, almost in a squeak.

Kamiya-sama gave a nod of approval. "Good! Fast learner too! I'm beginning to like my monkey-future-son-in-law."

Try getting a lecture from a ghost giving you the evil eye. See if you don't learn your lessons just as fast if not faster.

"Now let's get down to business…monkey," he said, then he laughed, slapping his leg. "Oh, I kill me! Oh that's right, I can't! I'm already dead!"

His humor, to say the least, is macabre when it isn't lousy.

Well, he has been dead for more than four years. I bet he has a swingin' bunch in the after-life. I just bet they're a load of laughs. A pack of dead guys and gals who just love to party. Telling dead-guy jokes for all eternity.

"The missus wanted to meet you," Kamiya-sama said as I sat in front of him. I noticed that he wasn't actually on the floor. He was levitating about an inch.

"Kaoru's mother?"

"Oh no. I got married to this young broad in the after-life. Sweet Philly…OF COURSE Kaoru's mom! Who else would it be?" He intoned.

Shees! Sor-ree! Bite my head off, why don't you? "I apologize, that I do," I responded solemnly.

"It's alright," he said, taking a calming breath. "Anyway, Kieko wanted to be the one to get over here, you know, to fix this? But I thought maybe you'd be more comfortable with me. You know, us being both swordsmen and in the war and all."

Kieko-dono…oh why didn't you insist upon it?

"And the committee wouldn't allow both of us to go, so here I am," Kamiya-sama continued. "I've come here to make sure you get your marriage proposal right."

I stared at him for a moment, then I spoke. "That's very kind of you Kamiya-sama, but you came all the way from the after-life just to show me how to pop the question?"

He blinked at me tolerantly. "Have you ever done it before?"

I managed to find the guts to give him a look of disdain. "So I didn't propose to Tomoe, but goodness! It's not like it's something that can be perfected by practice, don't you know."

"Don't get smart with me boy," he warned.

I shut my trap, chastised.

"Anyway," he went on. "This is a very special proposal. Frankly, it's not how you do it. It's this: Your mission, Himura, is to go to Omiya, look for Nurihito Aiko and purchase a vase etched and painted with an image of a rune katana on its face."

"Oro!" I cried. "What would I do with a vase? And all the way to Omiya?"

"Yes, from Nurihito Aiko. She sells pots. Ask anyone there and they'd point you to her."

"I'm not exactly rolling in money, Kamiya-sama! What money I have I'm saving to buy Kaoru a ring and give her a nice wedding!"

Kamiya-sama waved a hand in front of him and scoffed. "Nonsense. You'll have enough even after you make the purchase. That vase has special properties, and when you find Nurihito-san, tell her Kamiya Tetsuro sent you. She'll give you a discount. When you get that vase, I'll be seeing you again. I'll tell you what to do with it after."

"But my job…"

"It'll all be settled tomorrow," Kamiya-sama said. "And Saitoh will give you your fabulous bonus. My friend in the after-life committee has told me as much."

"And what am I going to tell Kaoru?"

"Tell her there's something you have to do…"

I interjected at once. "She'll never let me go without her! She has this fear that I'll pick up and leave…"

Kamiya-sama shook his head. "You must do this alone simply because letting her know will ruin everything."

"Eh?"

"Put it this way: if she finds out about something…she'll hate me forever."

Oro…that sounded serious.

Well now, of course I'll do this, but (groan) this isn't going to be easy.

"You must leave for Omiya once you get your bonus. Purchase round trip tickets so that you can be back here by midnight. Then I'll meet you back here, say…one-thirty-ish?"

I gave him my rurouni grin. "Do you think we can make it two-ish? Kaoru will certainly be throttling me around that time for leaving at all. I need a few minutes-ish to get away with my life-ish, don't you know."

"Are you sassing me?" He demanded, glaring at me.

Eep! Me and my mouth, with a foot and all! "Never! Of course not, Kamiya-sama!"

"Good. So, are we clear on the first phase of the mission?"

I groaned again. I seem to have been doing a lot of that in the past hour. "First phase? You mean there's another phase?"

He grinned. "Just one more and it's done. Don't you worry. After all of it, you'll be grateful. I promise you."

"His Master's words are such a comfort…"

"Sassing."

"Erm…right. Zip."

Kamiya-sama smiled lopsidedly. "Good monkey. We're done for the night. Go back to sleep now. You'll need your strength in the morning. Oh, and when you see Nurihito-san, tell her the Sun always rises in the West."

Before I could protest and tell him that the sun does not rise in the west, Kamiya-sama's image faded away to nothingness.

Go back to sleep, he says. Need my strength in the morning, he says.

Dammit! I can't believe I'm being bossed around by a ghost! "Go to Omiya my behind…"

Lightning flashed and then the sky roared in a deafening blast.

Gurk! "I'M THERE! I'M THERE!"

To be continued…

Author's Note: I'm so evil…Ken-chan! Anna-neko luvvvs youuuuu.