Author's Note: Like I said. This shouldn't be a long fic. I'm estimating about two more parts for this. I originally planned this to be a one-shot, but as you can see, it now has a life of its own. *Sigh* I'm just so terrible with lengths…I couldn't keep it short! I tell you…I'd fail miserably in a fic-race.

Anyway, here's the next part. Hope you like it.

Standard disclaimers apply. RK isn't mine. Wish it was, but it isn't. No use praying for it. God has other plans for me.

Heart of the Woman

Part V: One Thirty-ish…Or Not

When I got to the dojo, Kamiya-sama was of course waiting for me. All the lamps were lit.

It figures.

"Ha! Horny-monkey!" He cried with a loud chortle.

Could he be more annoying?

"I thought you said one thrity-ish, Kamiya-sama. It's only one." I told him wearily, unhooking my bag from off my shoulders.

"Can't a ghost change his mind?" He responded with a wide grin.

I guess they could. I imagine that they don't have much to do in the after-life. "You're in a rather frisky mood today, if I may say so. May I ask why?"

"I watched Kaoru train Yahiko today," he replied, pride beaming from his eyes. "She was wonderful! And have you ever seen the look in her eyes when she says, 'Five Hundred swings!' when she's angry? Pure sublimity!"

I watched as Kamiya Tetsuro daydreamed in my presence.

I don't know about the anger thing, but I certainly think Kaoru is particularly sublime when she's training. I don't have to go into that again, especially not with Kamiya-sama.

"Yes, she can be rather engaging." I said neutrally. I'd love to talk about Kaoru the whole night, but there are things that just couldn't be put off. "Kamiya-sama, I have acquired the vase. What do you want me to do with it, if you please?"

Snapping out of his reverie, he looked at the vase in my hands nonchalantly. "Oh that. Throw it on the floor and break it."

Wha--? "Break it, you say?" I asked incredulously. "Do you know what I had to go through just to get this thing? I had to face wasps!! Not to mention blowing fifty Yen!"

I can't believe I'm hearing this! Break it? I'll break him one…

Kamiya-sama clucked his lips in disapproval. "You know, Himura, you should really consider stress-management. You're always on edge, and it ain't good for your heart. Have you been eating right? Getting enough exercise?"

What is he talking about? What is stress-management? When one manages stress, isn't that just adding to it? Why is he telling me all these things? What does he want from me? Why is he driving me utterly and completely insane?!?!?

"Set yourself free," he continued, shaking his fists encouragingly for emphasis. "Tell me how you feel, Himura."

"I feel stupid, that I do," I muttered.

He shook his head. "Not good enough. Go on, Himura. Let it out."

My shoulders sagged and I tilted my head up to the ceiling in distress. "What do you want from me…?" I practically sobbed in frustration.

"You got aggression," he said in a sing-song, preacher's twang.

I stared at him. "Kamiya-sama, where is all this going, de go--"

"You have to beliiiiievvvvve!"

Is he going nuts? "Believe in what?"

"Boot out the demons, Himura!" He cried, raising his hands above him.

A gust of wind swooshed into the dojo.

"H-Hey!" I yelled amidst the howl, my hair flying in all directions. "What are you--Kamiya-sama, this is insane!"

"Let it out, Himura! Let it go!" He shouted above the tumult.

"K-Kamiya-sama…s-stop!"

"Break it, Himura! Break it!"

"Oro! But I--"

"BREAK IT!"

"Yaaaaahhhh!" I screamed, raising the vase above my head and smashing it to the floor.

The moment the vase cracked open, the wind died down and I stood panting before the ruined pieces of my latest acquisition.

When the wind completely settled, Kamiya-sama gave a grin and nodded. "Good horny-monkey!"

Cripes! All that exhibition just so I would break the vase?

Well, I gotta admit. I wouldn't have been so quick to do his bidding under relatively normal circumstances. And now the vase, which I had suffered to get, was nothing more than a mess on Kaoru's immaculate dojo floor.

"Fifty Yen…" I groaned. "Wasps…Nurihito-dono…freezing cold lake…"

Kamiya-sama ignored my misery. "Now set those pieces aside and go through the dirt."

Dirt? Ah, dirt. It figures that the vase I had to get all the way from Omiya contains the most useless substance known to this earth.

I got on my knees and gingerly dug through the rubble. "What exactly am I looking for here, if you'll allow me to ask?" I asked. I should be so lucky if I get an answer. Kamiya-sama hasn't exactly been lavish about shedding light on the mysteries of his universe.

"You'll see."

He's so predictable.

"What is this stuff anyway?" I asked, picking at the pieces and throwing some of the smaller chucks over my shoulder. I brushed away some of the dirt with my fingers negligently.

"My wife's ashes."

"Gah!" I choked, jumping back and pulling my hands away. Kieko-dono's remains? The hairs of my entire body rose to attention. "Oh, for the love of God--!"

Kamiya-sama frowned. "Don't be such a pris, Himura. It's completely sanitary."

I looked at him like he was an idiot. "It's not that! Goodness! It's WEIRD, that it is!"

"It's not weird," Kamiya-sama said, rolling his eyes around. "I'd go through it for you if I could, but then I have this little problem…I'm a GHOST! Now if it isn't anything like severe allergy or a psychotic reaction to the stuff, get on with it!"

I gulped. Ugh…I'm sure Kieko-dono's feeling a little violated by this…ugh!

This is so…WEIRD! I couldn't find any other word to describe it.

With a slight twitching in my lip, I surrendered myself to the inevitable.

I went back to my task, taking more care than my earlier haphazard attempts.

A few seconds later, I saw a folded parchment amidst the dirt pile. A little disheveled from its storage place, but it looked untouched if the unbroken seal on it was any indication. With my thumb and forefinger, I took the parchment delicately from its bed of ashes. "A secret message? Do I open it?"

"Don't you dare!" Kamiya-sama cried with so much force that I pulled a bit away from him.

"A simple 'no' would have been quite sufficient," I told him loftily. "You really should consider stress-management Kamiya-sama."

Kamiya-sama glared at me murderously. "Don't get smart with me, pretty boy."

"I apologize," I said immediately. Just thought I'd get some daughter's-boyfriend-girlfriend's-father bonding underway. "But I am not a pretty boy," I added. That was useless.

"Sure you are," Kamiya-sama said. "First thing that came into my mind when I saw you."

"Oh? I thought it was the horny-monkey bit," I said with a frown.

"That was my second thought," he said. "Now, are you ready to hear about phase two?"

"Might as well."

He sat down and motioned for me to do likewise.

I settled myself on the floor and waited patiently for him to begin.

"Take that letter," he said, "and look for one Akira Banshio."

The name registered in my mind and my eyes widened to saucer-like proportions. "Akira…?" He was one of Japan's wealthiest men, and he lived in the ritzy part of Edo. He owned shipping companies, dealt with Chinese businessmen, and he constantly graced society's most prominent events. "Oro! THE Akira Banshio? You want me to talk to him?"

"Yes. And give him that letter."

Oh is that all? Weeeeelllll, I'll just go up to his plushy, Edo-ritz home, knock on his front gate and say: Banshio, my good man. My name is Himura Kenshin, otherwise known as Hitokiri Battousai. You simply must forgive me for this intrusion, but I've been talking to my girlfriend's dead father, such a charming fellow, and he told me to give you this letter I have here…

"Helllllloooooo!" I said, scratching my forehead in irritation. "How do you expect me to go about this, if I may ask? I couldn't just go up to his door and…"

"Of course you couldn't, you moron," Kamiya-sama hissed in disgust. "He'll have you booted out of his property in two seconds! You must announce yourself like a proper gentleman. Send word that you must see him, with a proper note to call."

I laughed sarcastically. "He won't even bother to open a note from someone he's never heard of, Kamiya-sama."

He shrugged. "Oh, I guess he's never heard of Himura Kenshin. Hitokiri Battousai on the other hand…"

"Oro!" Has he gone mad? "I can't do that! I'd scare him shitless!" Oh my god. Kamiya-sama has me spewing French. "I mean--!"

"I know what you mean, Himura," Kamiya-sama said pointedly. "But it will get his attention. And when he reads your note, it will contain these words: The moon always rises in the east. You'll see. He'll reply to you faster than you can say 'Oro!'."

Great. Another secret code.

What the heck is Kamiya Tetsuro up to?

"Are we clear on this?" Kamiya-sama asked me.

"Yes! But--"

"Good! Send the note out first thing in the morning. Then I'll meet you back here at midnight tomorrow."

Kamiya-sama's ghostly form began to fade.

"W-Wait!" I cried hastily. "Is there a phase three?"

I caught him giving me a faint smile. "In a manner of speaking…" he replied, his voice fading to nothingness as he disappeared.

I found myself alone once more.

Jeez! I HATE it when he does that!

To be continued…

Author's Note: You're wondering, aren't you? Well, Kenshin's wondering too. Don't worry. The title will be explained soon. WAFF will crop up in the end.

Till the next chapter!