~Next day~
"Hi Ham!" Scout said.
"Hi! Scout, where are you going?" Ham asked
" I´m going to find Paige, I´m going to ask her to the cottilion." He said still grinning
" Hey good luck with that man" Ham said as he pattered Scout on the shoulder.
" See ya"
"Bye."
*****************
"I had totally forgot that it is the annual cottilion this weekend. " Ham said as he talked to Jake.
"So you do have a date yet", Jake asked * please say no* she thought.
"No I don´t actually" he said as if reading her mind.
* Thank you god* Jake thought
"I was thinking about going solo" Jake said, " Hey do you want to go solo together?"
* Why did I say that!!!* Jake thought to herself
*What a dumb question to ask!!! Hello… how could I have asked it! Going solo together. I know I said I wasn´t going to let my heart decide on everything I will say, but it´s harder than I thought.* Jake waited helplessly for Hamilton´s response
*What´s with that question?* Hamilton thought to himself, But then again… I´m not going with anyone so…
" Sure" Hamilton agreed "Why not, see you in class." He got up and left
"Bye." Jake said
*************
Lena marshed towards Jake´s room
* I have to find out how he really* she thought as she knocked on Jake´s door
Jake opened it and was surprised to see Lena standing there.
" Hi, Lena" she said stepping aside "Come in"
* I wonder what she wants?* Jake thought as Lena stepped towards Jake
They were standing so close, and suddenly Lena tried to kiss Jake.
*What is she doing?* Jake thought as she pulled away from Lena, * Oh god! I must come up with something fast!*
"Lena, I really can´t… you see do this I´m inlove with somebody else, I can´t do that to them."
* Oh god * Jake thought cringing *Why did I have to say that, ok, it is the truth, but I don´t want anybody else to know it. AND I ment to be a guy. That was way to…*
Jake thoughts was interrupted by Lena
"I thought so" She said witha slight smile " You like Hamilton,… maybe even love him,I can see it in your eyes. "
Jake eyes widened with surprise
"Lena it is not true, he is just my friend." She said trying to sound convincing. But Lena just smiled and as she walking out said.
" You do like him, I can tell"
*Oh my gosh , she´s leaving now…, what have I done? I´ve got to talk to her.*
Lena opened the door and all the guys just stood there. As Lena left the guys started saying stuff like
You are very lucky, you are da man, lucky girl and so on.
Hamilton then appeared. * Look at him* Jake thought. *his eyes, his face* Jake felt her heart shatter in to thousands of pieces.
"You are da man" was all he said and then he left.
*For the thousand time, I did the wrong thing again. I´m not going to the cottilion, and I´m not going to stay here for much longer. I going home this weekend. I should at least tell Hamilton…*
"Hamilton wait" Lena called out to him.
"What is it" Hamilton asked he didn´t really want to talk to anyone, especially Lena.
I have something to do, so hurry up."
"Do you have someone to go with to the cottilion?" Lena asked him.
" No." Hamilton replied * not anymore*
Lena continued
"Can I go with you?"
Hamilton looked at her in confusion
" What about Jake?" he asked
Lena half smiled " That´s not important"
" So, do you want to go with me? she asked again.
Ham shrugged his shoulders " Sure"
"Great" Lena said smiling. " You can pick me up at the girls Dorms a half an hour before the cottilion." She walked away with a smile
*If they wont realise it, I will make them to.* she thought.
***************
Hamilton, turned around he was going home, when he suddenly saw Jake.
"Did you hear everything? Of course you did?" he thought feeling bad
" I´m going to take Lena, maybe you can find someone to go with." Ham said looking at his friend.
Jake shook her head.
"I think I´m not coming to the cottilion, I will do some homework instead."
" Oh" Ham said as they stood in awkward silence.
~Saturday evening the same day as the cottilion~
Knock, knock
"The delivery company New Rawley."
*I had totally forgot that I bought a tux for today* Jake thought as she went to answer the door.
*I´ll pay him and then pack it down with my girl things. It´s not like that I´m going to use them. * she thought feeling sad. She looked at her clock.
*The cottilion has started. I wonder what Hamilton is doing now… Dancing with Lena and having a wonderful time I bet. Why can´t I have a bit fun one of my last days here.'
She got up
*Where did I put the tux? Ahh here it is*
She slipped into it.
*I look quite god in it.* she thought as she walked out the door
**************
"Hamilton don´t you want to dance?" Lena asked
Ham shook his head " I´m not a good dancer. Maybe later. "
Lena, sudddenly saw Jake, and realised that Hamilton has too.
"I know you want to talk to him," she said with a smile " So just go."
"But Lena…. " Ham started but Lena interrupted
"I said go."
Hamilton walked to Jake in a very slow pace.
"Hi!" said Jake
"Hey, So.. um.. What are you doing here, I thought you had decided not to come." Ham asked feeling as though everyone was watching them.
"Can´t I change my mind?" Jake stugged her shoulders." I don´t knowI thought it could be fun, it´s better than doing homework."
*Maybe it was a bad idea to come here, I should go.* Jake thought
Hamilton turned to see what Lena was doing for a brief moment and when he turned around Jake was gone.
*What did I do now?* Ham thought as he looked around for Jake, * there he is, heading towards the toilet.* Ham started to follow.
*******************
*What was the point in coming Jacqueline * Jake thought to herself
*Seeing him once more can´t make him love you, can´t hide the fact on what you are. A girl who has lied to her best friend about a very important thing. I must cool myself down and then get out of here.*
*********************
"Hamilton" Lena said as she approached him
"Why are you standing here, I know you want to go after him, so why don´t you?"
"Lena, it is complicated, you don´t understand."
"I do understand that you like Jake very much, maybe even love him, I can see it in your eyes, so for the last time go after him."
*Maybe she is right, yes, I think she is right.*
Hamilton ran to the toilet hoping that Jake was still there. He was.
"Hamilton what are you doing here?" Jake asked as she watched Hamilton check all the stalls
" Throwing caution to the wind"
Then he lent towards Jake and kissed her.
As they pulled apart, Hamilton realized what he… they had just done
"Oh, my god we are gay." He said
" No, Hamilton we are not." Jake said as she grabbed his arm.
"Come with me. I´m a girl, Hamilton, I´m a girl, can you see it and belive it."
Ham looked shocked
"What, you are a girl" he´s getting mad." Do you know how hard it has been since you kissed me, and you are a girl." He headed for the door. " I must get out of here."
Hamilton ran out leaving Jake alone in the toilet.
*What have I done?"Jake thought to herself
* Telling him the truth was not a good idea, I have really hurt him. It would really be a good idea for me leave Rawley now, I went here to find out who I really am, and to fill the hole in my heart. Nothing here has done it, Rawley has only made it bigger.
I must get out of here, I wished I was in New York, there I could at least be a girl, be me.*
Jake went down to the lake, to the tree her and Hamilton used to have their talks.
*This is maybe the last time I´m going to be here. I wished Hamilton was here, so I could at least apologize. * She thought gazing up at the night sky.
*The stars are beautiful. I have always loved to sing out my feelings, but pretending to be a boy, has stopped me for doing it. There is nobody here, I can do it, yeah, why not.* she thought as she started to sing.
There are people who are happy, and someday I´m going to be it too. Love is hard to understand but when you have it ,it is worth everything.
Sometimes I can feel a bit lonely, but being with you a second is better than no second at all…
'Who is singin?" Ham thought "Wait, I know that voice. It is Jake, he, I mean she is sitting beside our tree.
*Did I just say our tree. This has gone to far, I really love her but she lied to me.*
"Who is there?" Jake called out
"Hamilton is that you?"
Hamilton hadn´t ment for her to see him
"Yes, but I must go now… You have a beautiful voice by the way."
Jake blushed "Did you hear me sing?"
" Yes, I did but I really have to get going."
"Hamilton, wait I must say something to you!!!"
"I´m so sorry, can you please forgive me?"
*Oh, my god, she is crying, what have I done?!* Ham thought, but instead of saying anything, he just turned and left,
"Hi Ham!" Scout said.
"Hi! Scout, where are you going?" Ham asked
" I´m going to find Paige, I´m going to ask her to the cottilion." He said still grinning
" Hey good luck with that man" Ham said as he pattered Scout on the shoulder.
" See ya"
"Bye."
*****************
"I had totally forgot that it is the annual cottilion this weekend. " Ham said as he talked to Jake.
"So you do have a date yet", Jake asked * please say no* she thought.
"No I don´t actually" he said as if reading her mind.
* Thank you god* Jake thought
"I was thinking about going solo" Jake said, " Hey do you want to go solo together?"
* Why did I say that!!!* Jake thought to herself
*What a dumb question to ask!!! Hello… how could I have asked it! Going solo together. I know I said I wasn´t going to let my heart decide on everything I will say, but it´s harder than I thought.* Jake waited helplessly for Hamilton´s response
*What´s with that question?* Hamilton thought to himself, But then again… I´m not going with anyone so…
" Sure" Hamilton agreed "Why not, see you in class." He got up and left
"Bye." Jake said
*************
Lena marshed towards Jake´s room
* I have to find out how he really* she thought as she knocked on Jake´s door
Jake opened it and was surprised to see Lena standing there.
" Hi, Lena" she said stepping aside "Come in"
* I wonder what she wants?* Jake thought as Lena stepped towards Jake
They were standing so close, and suddenly Lena tried to kiss Jake.
*What is she doing?* Jake thought as she pulled away from Lena, * Oh god! I must come up with something fast!*
"Lena, I really can´t… you see do this I´m inlove with somebody else, I can´t do that to them."
* Oh god * Jake thought cringing *Why did I have to say that, ok, it is the truth, but I don´t want anybody else to know it. AND I ment to be a guy. That was way to…*
Jake thoughts was interrupted by Lena
"I thought so" She said witha slight smile " You like Hamilton,… maybe even love him,I can see it in your eyes. "
Jake eyes widened with surprise
"Lena it is not true, he is just my friend." She said trying to sound convincing. But Lena just smiled and as she walking out said.
" You do like him, I can tell"
*Oh my gosh , she´s leaving now…, what have I done? I´ve got to talk to her.*
Lena opened the door and all the guys just stood there. As Lena left the guys started saying stuff like
You are very lucky, you are da man, lucky girl and so on.
Hamilton then appeared. * Look at him* Jake thought. *his eyes, his face* Jake felt her heart shatter in to thousands of pieces.
"You are da man" was all he said and then he left.
*For the thousand time, I did the wrong thing again. I´m not going to the cottilion, and I´m not going to stay here for much longer. I going home this weekend. I should at least tell Hamilton…*
"Hamilton wait" Lena called out to him.
"What is it" Hamilton asked he didn´t really want to talk to anyone, especially Lena.
I have something to do, so hurry up."
"Do you have someone to go with to the cottilion?" Lena asked him.
" No." Hamilton replied * not anymore*
Lena continued
"Can I go with you?"
Hamilton looked at her in confusion
" What about Jake?" he asked
Lena half smiled " That´s not important"
" So, do you want to go with me? she asked again.
Ham shrugged his shoulders " Sure"
"Great" Lena said smiling. " You can pick me up at the girls Dorms a half an hour before the cottilion." She walked away with a smile
*If they wont realise it, I will make them to.* she thought.
***************
Hamilton, turned around he was going home, when he suddenly saw Jake.
"Did you hear everything? Of course you did?" he thought feeling bad
" I´m going to take Lena, maybe you can find someone to go with." Ham said looking at his friend.
Jake shook her head.
"I think I´m not coming to the cottilion, I will do some homework instead."
" Oh" Ham said as they stood in awkward silence.
~Saturday evening the same day as the cottilion~
Knock, knock
"The delivery company New Rawley."
*I had totally forgot that I bought a tux for today* Jake thought as she went to answer the door.
*I´ll pay him and then pack it down with my girl things. It´s not like that I´m going to use them. * she thought feeling sad. She looked at her clock.
*The cottilion has started. I wonder what Hamilton is doing now… Dancing with Lena and having a wonderful time I bet. Why can´t I have a bit fun one of my last days here.'
She got up
*Where did I put the tux? Ahh here it is*
She slipped into it.
*I look quite god in it.* she thought as she walked out the door
**************
"Hamilton don´t you want to dance?" Lena asked
Ham shook his head " I´m not a good dancer. Maybe later. "
Lena, sudddenly saw Jake, and realised that Hamilton has too.
"I know you want to talk to him," she said with a smile " So just go."
"But Lena…. " Ham started but Lena interrupted
"I said go."
Hamilton walked to Jake in a very slow pace.
"Hi!" said Jake
"Hey, So.. um.. What are you doing here, I thought you had decided not to come." Ham asked feeling as though everyone was watching them.
"Can´t I change my mind?" Jake stugged her shoulders." I don´t knowI thought it could be fun, it´s better than doing homework."
*Maybe it was a bad idea to come here, I should go.* Jake thought
Hamilton turned to see what Lena was doing for a brief moment and when he turned around Jake was gone.
*What did I do now?* Ham thought as he looked around for Jake, * there he is, heading towards the toilet.* Ham started to follow.
*******************
*What was the point in coming Jacqueline * Jake thought to herself
*Seeing him once more can´t make him love you, can´t hide the fact on what you are. A girl who has lied to her best friend about a very important thing. I must cool myself down and then get out of here.*
*********************
"Hamilton" Lena said as she approached him
"Why are you standing here, I know you want to go after him, so why don´t you?"
"Lena, it is complicated, you don´t understand."
"I do understand that you like Jake very much, maybe even love him, I can see it in your eyes, so for the last time go after him."
*Maybe she is right, yes, I think she is right.*
Hamilton ran to the toilet hoping that Jake was still there. He was.
"Hamilton what are you doing here?" Jake asked as she watched Hamilton check all the stalls
" Throwing caution to the wind"
Then he lent towards Jake and kissed her.
As they pulled apart, Hamilton realized what he… they had just done
"Oh, my god we are gay." He said
" No, Hamilton we are not." Jake said as she grabbed his arm.
"Come with me. I´m a girl, Hamilton, I´m a girl, can you see it and belive it."
Ham looked shocked
"What, you are a girl" he´s getting mad." Do you know how hard it has been since you kissed me, and you are a girl." He headed for the door. " I must get out of here."
Hamilton ran out leaving Jake alone in the toilet.
*What have I done?"Jake thought to herself
* Telling him the truth was not a good idea, I have really hurt him. It would really be a good idea for me leave Rawley now, I went here to find out who I really am, and to fill the hole in my heart. Nothing here has done it, Rawley has only made it bigger.
I must get out of here, I wished I was in New York, there I could at least be a girl, be me.*
Jake went down to the lake, to the tree her and Hamilton used to have their talks.
*This is maybe the last time I´m going to be here. I wished Hamilton was here, so I could at least apologize. * She thought gazing up at the night sky.
*The stars are beautiful. I have always loved to sing out my feelings, but pretending to be a boy, has stopped me for doing it. There is nobody here, I can do it, yeah, why not.* she thought as she started to sing.
There are people who are happy, and someday I´m going to be it too. Love is hard to understand but when you have it ,it is worth everything.
Sometimes I can feel a bit lonely, but being with you a second is better than no second at all…
'Who is singin?" Ham thought "Wait, I know that voice. It is Jake, he, I mean she is sitting beside our tree.
*Did I just say our tree. This has gone to far, I really love her but she lied to me.*
"Who is there?" Jake called out
"Hamilton is that you?"
Hamilton hadn´t ment for her to see him
"Yes, but I must go now… You have a beautiful voice by the way."
Jake blushed "Did you hear me sing?"
" Yes, I did but I really have to get going."
"Hamilton, wait I must say something to you!!!"
"I´m so sorry, can you please forgive me?"
*Oh, my god, she is crying, what have I done?!* Ham thought, but instead of saying anything, he just turned and left,